Darkness Element

I guess this is my life now

My mind fills with idle thought as I continue my endless descent into the never-ending darkness.

My infinite falling ceased not one bit. My mind was practically at the verge of breaking. Despite all the other more dangerous threats I had faced in my life, I didn't expect a pit would be the one to fell me.

The world really is a big place

Now that was a phrase I did not expect to repeat. The phrase was practically a sermon for those trapped in that cage we called home.

Atlantis

That was the name of my former residence. Not that that spoke much, seeing as that was from another world.

In all actuality, it was the only one available–environment wise. That suffocating palace of steel was the last habitable land where humans lived. Though constricting, I was particularly fond of Atlantis.

I always thought of it as a collar, nothing more than a chain to hold me back. It was terrible, yet it was my home. The only one left.

I really am our of my mind to be thinking of such old and repressed memories

The darkness was eating away at me, devouring my being from the newest to the oldest. It started with my recent trials. Continued with my recent past. Then worked it's way down my to inner self.

I did not like how the darkness operated. It's prying was irritating me. That feeling, too, soon was devoured.

Another spiral

This has been emerging a lot recently. The more I thought or felt something, the more the darkness ate, and the more I felt and generated that very same emotion or feeling. It was stupid of me, stubborn even.

Still, I had to hang on

This spiral was the only thing I had left. If not for this mind-numbing exercise, my mind, too, would have been devoured by the darkness. I close my eyes.

Though I could not confirm whether what I just did was real or a hopeful wish, I believed that it did. For some reason, I felt for something within me.

Should be around here

With the carefreeness of a housewife shopping groceries, I look into myself. It had become a habit to do this recently, almost an instinct. I reach further down.

Eventually, I reach a familiar place. I could not tell whether the darkness was helping me or not. Still, I could tell that it contributed in my routine somewhat.

I found myself in the empty and barren abyss of myself. Despite the thousands–perhaps millions of attempts to come here since falling, this was the first time that I had managed to bring myself here.

There must be a reason

Slowly, I approach the ball of light illuminating the darkness. My arms were instantly covered with the frost that the light emitted. I could no longer feel my arms.

No matter

Even if I could not feel them, I knew they existed. That was more than enough for me to keep going.

I wrap the light with my frozen fingers. Despite them being numb from the cold, I could still feel the weightlessness of the light.

It was like a small ball was hovering over my palm. The ball was being held by somebody, keeping it place and me out of reach. No matter what, I could never touch the ball.

My arms shatter from the cold. I could not tell what was the trigger of it, but my frozen appendages were inevitably broken into thousands of pieces. I could not feel a thing.

Not the weight of my disappeared arm. Not the mind-numbing cold. Not the doubt that haunts me in this empty place.

I could feel nothing

The darkness greeted me once more.

◇◆◇◆◇

This is a new low, even for me

My descent continues. It would seem that I could not even hope for death in this place. The hole was endless.

Though it was highly illogical, that was the conclusion I have come to. The pit stretched infinitely, and so did my descent. If that was the case, I have truly hit another low.

It was then that something pricked at me. Not the mental kind, but the physical one. My arms were being stabbed continuously by invisible needles. After a second or two, it hit me:

Oh, they're burning

My arms were being burnt with yet another invisible something. What's more, that something was also running out.

I dismiss the sensation. Not that I like it anyway, being painful and all. Then it hit me again:

Pain?

I have heard of that before.

Pain!

I scream into the darkness. Ever since my visit to the deeper abyss, my senses had almost all disappeared. Including that one sensation.

Pain means bad. Pain means damage. Pain means death. Pain means stop. Pain means continue. Pain means give up. Pain means lose. Pain means I've won. Pain means victory. Pain means life. Pain means I'm alive

As my mind filled with the singular thought of pain, my mind practically slapped itself awake. It was like starting a car.

Gotta turn the keys first and let it heat up

I reach for the feeling, determine it's mission, find it's objective. Then, I find myself surprised.

「Reinforcement」

The circuit-like array of lines on my limbs were awake. It was working overdrive to keep the spell alive, roasting me in the process. The spell connected in my entire body, concentrating in my arms. It would seem that my focus on enhancing my arms wound up opening my mana circuits much more than the others.

This made them more susceptible to spells, enhancing their capabilities and my overall strength. I felt for the spell more.

I was literally poking in the dark, trying to see every nook and cranny without even being able to use my eyes. I felt for it some more. It was a weird feeling, poking around my mana.

Though it was an interesting thought to be able to prod around my mana circuits, I decided to shelve the experiments for later.

My circuits were burning with mana. The array was practically filled with them. Within it, though, something else writhed.

Hello there darkness

My element was now in tune with me.