- 23 章コンテンツ
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- NO.200+応援
At twenty years old she had thought that now her life had just begun. Her childhood had been everything but good. It could have been worse but she couldn't complain about it. What was she supposed to do? The moment her life began other things arose and she had no clue whatsoever on what to believe. Her life had been a lie all along and no matter how much she tried to make sense of who she was she couldn't. She was lost at sea with all the kids she had been told. She did not know who to believe anymore. She never knew that she had as much power as she had or that people were going to see her as a threat. All she over wanted was to be somewhere that she belonged but the more that she knew people the more she realized that she did not belong anywhere. Could she blame them for hating her though? She did not choose to be who she was and there was nothing she could do about it. As she turned into her wolf form she saw a figure approaching her and she was ready to pounce until she smelled his scent. Hades
The birds chirping woke me up from my slumber. It was the first time in months I had gotten a full night's sleep. For once I did not feel like I was tired. I had slept, that was what mattered.
I always woke up tired and my days were gloomy as obvious. For the first day in months, I was ready to know what the day had in store for me. I had never been this happy in a long time it was starting to bother me.
Then again this was how I ended up ruining most of my days. I was not going to ruin this day too. I was going to live it and gave fun. It was the first day of school and I could hardly wait.
Do not get me wrong, I hated school but then again I had been alone for so long to the point where my company was boring.
At least I was leaving the house, I would meet with thousands of people and I'd have a good laugh about all the stupid shit they said.
I took a shower got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast.
Everyone went quiet as they all turned to look at me. I did not see anything wrong with my outfit. I looked myself over, though it took me a while to figure out what was wrong.
I had stayed in bed for months without leaving and all of a sudden I had woken up early in the morning and got ready for school. What was I supposed to do?
Was I supposed to stay in bed and continue crying and being sorry for myself? As much as I would like to do that it did not matter because things had to go on. No one was coming to save me.
I was tired of staying in bed all day I had to go out there and leave my life. I would rather forget about it rather than be safe and cry about it.
I was the only one who was hurting, I was a danger to myself and I could not give that piece of shit the satisfaction. He had done enough damage
'Why are you guys looking at me like that, have I not dressed appropriately?", I ask as I sit down and pour myself some juice.
"No baby you look good there is nothing with your dressing, I just haven't seen you like this in months. Are you okay?" she asks clear look of concern on her face being
"Am I okay, mum I feel amazing I haven't felt like this in months and now I feel like I should leave the past there", I say chuckling and she just looks at me and continues eating her food.
I wonder why they would think I was not doing okay when I get amazing. I finish taking my breakfast and wait for my parents to finish so they can drop me at school.
"You're dropping me at school ", I say to my mum as I take my bag and leave the house. As the cold air hits my skin I feel alive again. It's like I had been locked up and was not allowed to see the light of day.
I took in a deep breath and the air filled my lungs as I smiled. It felt so nice to be outside that I hoped nothing would fuck up this already good day.
I see my mum leaving the house and I head to the garage as I wait for her to start the car. She starts to the car and I sit in the passenger seat and take my phone and start going through.
I had gone days without using my phone which was not something that I would do. I was obsessed with my phone and not touching it was unexplainable.
I was starting to feel like myself again. I wanted to start doing things and learn other things. All I wanted was to fill the hole inside if I do that I could feel whole again.
"You know you need to start driving yourself to school right?", asks my mum which I presume is her attempt of making small talk with me. I appreciated it but I was in no mood to start a conversation with her again it would be a biting car ride if I did not say something.
"Yeah I know but I don't have one. The other one is beyond repair ", I say.
"That is because you crushed it Do you know how worried I was? You just can't drive when you are that drunk you could have died, God forbid "she says as she puts her focus on me.
I remembered that day vividly. I was trying to run away from my thoughts and I thought that alcohol was going to make things better. It didn't if you were wondering.
I was having the best time of my life and then I had to go home and I was crushed. I did not feel any pain that night l the following day.
The whole of my body was sore and I has never felt that much pain in my entire life. The bright thing was that I now knew not to drive when I was drunk. It's not that I was scared of dying.
What scared me was that I had no idea of what came after someone had died I wanted to know what it felt like when someone was dying. Was it painful?
"Eyes on the road, you don't want to kill us nodded?", I ask as I chuckle.
"Don't joke like that, it's not funny", she says looking serious.
"What, you scared of dying?", I ask again the just looks at me and goes back to driving in. She was worried about me and I could not blame her. The things I was saying were bat shit crazy.
Who even thought about death?
