The light

I am just another soldier. I was an officer in my country, highly decorated, underwent many operational courses; I genuinely believed that the military life was where I should be. But... It felt more like a theater.

Not to speak ill of our armed forces, but I trained and trained and trained without ever seeing action. It was disappointing. Of course, I felt a sense of accomplishment when I added another insignia to my uniform, but what I craved was combat.

So I left. Enlisted in a foreign army and finally felt alive – pain, fights, beatings, gunshots, combat was comforting. I was glad that I deserted; I needed more, so I became a mercenary... Just a way to fill the void.

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Damn... I didn't die the way I wanted to...

I can't move, but I still feel my body, numbed, but I'm feeling. Is this what dying is like? I never liked the idea of just disappearing into nothingness, but still feeling what's around my dead body seems low... Or maybe it's just the last moments of my brain functioning? Yeah, maybe that's it...

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It's still dark... How long is this going to take?

Ah!

A light? Come to think of it... This feels like one of those stories people tell in near-death experiences, 'I saw the light'. So, this is the tunnel, huh... Will it take long?

I seem to be gravitating towards that light; is it paradise? No, I never deserved it in the first place... I remember all the missed opportunities, every time I messed up, every time I thought of ending it all... I didn't do it out of selfishness; I had no family to think they'd be sad, so I thought about God. Hehe, what am I talking about? My life was a disappointment.

Despite that, I don't want to go to hell... Damn.

Ah!

My view of nothingness turned into a bright red blur as sounds assaulted my ears. No sound came from my mouth, but I was alive.

You know, I was a very traditional person, sure, I made my fair share of mistakes, but I always believed in life after death and a whole set of things. Of course, it's a relief right now not to be in hell, but... Was the light at the end of the tunnel really a vagina?

"Congratulations, My lady, it's a boy!"

So, those who believed in reincarnation were right... Damn, I'll have to think about what college I'm going to attend?

After time and effort, I finally managed to open my eyes; I never thought it was so hard for a child to see, even with open eyes, it still took time to adapt to colors and shapes. Around me, people kept talking incessantly, congratulating the woman holding me. Looking around, there were several figures; the first that caught my attention was the woman holding me, splendid in appearance, perhaps too young to have children by modern standards, which initially worried me, but... The scene around me seemed so extravagant that maybe she married a very rich guy... In the best-case scenario...

Besides her, other womens were present, dressed as maids, and there was also a butler and a man who stood out, perhaps my father, but it really didn't seem to be the case, a well-dressed, bald man with glasses... Yeah, maybe my father was a rich old man? It didn't seem to be anyone with a fatherly look; at least no man was gushing over the child here, so I presume he's not present. The woman holding me confirmed my own thoughts.

"Come see your grandson, daddy!" She spoke to the serious and frowning bald man, looking at me attentively. It's really worrying, if he was bald and baldness comes from the mother... I would definitely be bald in this life... I started with some bad luck.

Despite that... Looking around, everything seems very unusual. The scene doesn't seem to be the result of any modern architecture, and the clothes people are wearing around me... It seems straight out of a historical drama. Has there already been a nuclear apocalypse, and the world has returned to the medieval era? Nah, that's absurd.

I started to pay more attention to the woman holding me; despite being disheveled and extremely tired, she seemed very excited. Her smile was contagious, almost adorable. Her blond hair caught my attention the most. Her face was a bit round, and her expression was kind. Maybe it's suspicious for me, who is now her son, but she simply gave me that motherly feeling. Maybe it's just a natural mechanism for babies to be attracted to their mothers?

Many people left the room at the command of the bald man cleaning his glasses. It was when everyone left that my mother stifled a laugh, and that serious and judgmental old man immediately turned into a doting grandparent.

"Hello little Mika, from now on, you can count on your grandpa here."

"We still don't know if he'll make it, dad."

"Well, there's no use being pessimistic; I've already said, he will be Mikail."

He seemed like a very honest old man; he joked and talked nonsense non-stop, was very close, and infinitely more excited than before. More important than the nonsense he spoke and the faces he made, I started paying more attention to his clothes. He seemed very rich, adorned with jewelry all over his... suit? I think that's a suit. His mustache was distinctive; it made him look much more serious before, but now, he seemed even more foolish because of it. He laughed and made faces until he got tired. Exchanged several jokes with my mother, but no mention of my father.

Strange...

The weeks following my birth were a new kind of torture for me. I had no control over my body, and any movement was futile and extremely tiring. Not even my fingers were under my command; whenever the maids wanted to play with me, they tried to make me hold their fingers, and, well, I held them, but not of my own will. I held their fingers only because of a reflexive shock in my body. I don't even want to mention the lack of control to do my business; I simply couldn't control it, and what good would it do? I need help anyway!

A good pastime was certainly breastfeeding. I won't lie; I liked it in every way. The taste was much better than artificial ones, and... Well... After puberty, this would be a merit, so it's good to enjoy it in advance.

Despite all the refinement, gold, and decorations around me, I saw no sign of electricity. When they took me outside, there were gardens, horses, and carriages, but no cars, polution and gears. No hospital or any kind of medical care. It's certainly reminds me of the medieval.

It didn't take long to realize that I was someone very, very important, despite that, I wasn't given a name. Of course, my grandfather mentioned that my name would be Mikail, but my mother seemed afraid that I wouldn't live to my first year and was extremely cautious with me. It's understandable, by the standards of the time, most babies simply didn't survive their first year of life. That's the reason why life expectancy was so low. It was worrisome, but I felt like an extremely healthy boy.

My mother's name was Verena Sigmaringen. Whoever my father was, he seemed to be the luckiest man on this planet. In all my ten last and only days of life, it never occurred to me that I would find such a kind and gentle person. Perhaps she was a saint!

Another thing I noticed was exactly what happened before: Being important, I seemed to live in a castle, just a vast garden with guards and gates separating me from a vast city. It wasn't once or twice that my mother's servants called me a prince. At first, I even thought it was an empty compliment, but it didn't take long to realize that maybe I was indeed a prince.

I accompanied my mother everywhere, and she didn't seem like just a simple and uneducated woman. I tried to give her as little trouble as possible: I slept as much as I could and tried not to disturb her sleep.

In these several times that I accompanied her, she took me to an office where she read various letters accompanied by two soldiers and a butler. She read them and gave orders and sometimes money to the men present. At first, it seemed suspicious to me, but it was just seneschal work. And to think that a new mother was working so much, maybe my father was away at war or something like that? Well, I was really right.

"My lady, your husband is returning home," the butler bowed, handing a letter to my mother. She smiled like never before and looked at me, who stood in the crib, of course, I was curious. I was finally going to meet my father!

She ran to me and lifted me into her arms with smiles and kisses of joy that made me dizzy.

"Did you hear that, Mika? Your father is coming back!"