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Harry Potter and the transmigrated twat

Death is but the next great adventure." :Said dumbledore calmly. Robert should've known that death was too easy an escape. But even for him it was fucked up to be fictional character in a book. "FUCK THOSE ISEKAI MOTHERF******"

THE_alpinism · 書籍·文学
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43 Chs

a chapter without swear words (shit doesn't count)

1 month later

King's cross station, Platform 9¾

Harry potter pov

Crunch... Crunch... Crunch....

I munched on crispy chips while my eyes were fixated on a book. I moved my eyes through every word while families moved around. I paid no attention to the weird looks they were giving me, my eyes only seeing the book and it's contents.

Momentarily my eyes took in a quick glance around. A majestic looking black steam train with golden trimmings greeted my vision. Tall pillars were located at equal intervals and fireplaces burned green through which wizards filled the platform to sent their children on their magical journey. The entire platform was filled with wizards of various clothing and ethnicities all assembled to bid their children good bye.

I rolled my eyes at it. I may be an anomaly being an old man stuck in a kids body (that may sound like a pedo joke. It really isn't), but cannon Harry wasn't. He didn't need no one to hold his hands or kiss his cheeks. Honestly I can understand first or even second years. But there were seventh years here being dropped off by their parents.

I sighed and went right back into my book. The history of wizards: a comprehensive study. Obviously I didn't give a shot about the Holy war led by Arthur, or the infamous goblin rebellion. My eyes were focused on the much more recent events. The great wizarding war. More importantly it's end.

I quickly ran my eyes through the fine print to move on to the important stuff. Thousands of casualties... Shit, the great battle of ministry.... Even more shit, the werewolf uprising....shittest of shit, end of war! THERE it is!

My eyes widened as I located it. I quickly sped my eyes through the content absorbing every single piece of info.

The Dark Lord voldemort, on a mission to kill, one of the most prominent members of the order of pheonix, the longbottoms, massacres frank and Alice longbottoms. The Dark Lord in an attempt in killing their child Neville longbottom, miscasts a killing curse which backfired ending his own life. The traitor who revealed the location of hidden longbottom family, Sirius Black, is currently in Azkaban.....

I trailed off as I looked away. My guess was correct. But it seems even a change in timeline is not enough to save Sirius Black from the horrible Fate of azkaban.

I sighed as I leaned back. For ten years I was a blind man searching in the dark. For the first time in forever I have information. But this also meant the vacation was over. From this point on there will be actual real live danger. Dark Lords, dementors and much more. It was the time to start planning.

Not being the child of prophecy was not the gift I initially thought it was. While at a first glance it moved me away from Voldemort's line of fire, it also meant I didn't have my mother's sacrificial protection. Which means voldemort has the power to touch all over me (why am I making pedo jokes??).

I scrunched my face up into a rock-level smolder. I looked at the horizon, clasping my hands, and thought to myself. A storm was brewing. Dark days awaits us all. Days of pain. Days of hardship. But it was in times like these our wills are truly tested. Times like these shows us what we are truly made of. So I needed to prepare. To survive the upcoming tribulations of Hogwarts I needed to-

"Hogwartsthehistorysisabetterread." said a squeaky voice unnaturally quickly, in a single breath. The voice was nervous yet firm. As if the person was forcing to be confident. And failing MISERABLY at it.

I sighed and turned around to see who had rudely interrupted my awesome self monologue. Greeted my eyes a figure I immediately recognized. It was Emma Watson!!!

A regular peasant would have screamed in fanfare and fainted on spot. But I simply looked at her with a deadpan. I mean when you see DANIEL RADCLIFFE, every time you look in the MIRROR you kinda lose perspective on these things.

I smiled at the monologue interrupter and replied sarcastically:" hi. Nice to meet you too. I am Harry potter. Yes it IS indeed a beautiful day. Thank you for asking."

Hermione's face immediately turned into a blush as she stuttered:"I-I-I- am s-sorry. I am h-hermione Granger. "

I chuckled as I cut her off by waving my hand.:"Relax. It's alright. The train doesn't leave until after like an hour." I patted next to the bench where I was sitting:"you are free to read your 'Hogwarts:a history' till then. Just pretend I don't exist and leave to my devices. Kay???"

The blush turned into a smile as she nodded. My eyes went back into the book as I collected more information from it. My fave sharpened as my eyes focused. Hermione sat down next to me nervously clutching her suitcase tightly.

"so... Are you a first year as well??"

I stopped my reading and looked up raising an eyebrow. Her eyes immediately widened as she realized and apologized:"I am s-sorry. No interruptions. Got it. "

I sighed as I closed the book and threw it in my own suitcase:"it's fine. I was getting bored anyways. And yes, I AM a first year. "

She smiled and replied:"me too. Isn't all of this wonderful. I mean the Magic, the spells the wands. A whole new world to explore." she suddenly blinked and asked:" are your parents magical."

I smiled and replied:"both of them... actually. But they died in the war. So.... I am just as new to this as you are. "

Her expression suddenly changed:"oh.. "

The situation suddenly became awkward. I mentally facepalmed. Way to kill the mood man.

"it's alright." I replied:"that's how you make friends. You get to know each other."

Her expression suddenly brightened at that. She said enthusiastically:"that's right. Friends. tell each other stuff. Now about me. Ummm... I'm-"

I cut her off:"that's alright. I know enough about you."

She was taken aback as she asked:"wh-wh-what do you know about me? "

I smiled as I replied:" that you are actually a huge nerd. You are a muggleborn. Your parents are actually... Ummm... Some kind of doctors. And you have crippling social anxiety, which makes it difficult for you to be mingle, but you still try forcefully being an extrovert, because you believe only a coward runs away from their fears, and you choose to embrace it."

She stood there her mouth hanging wide agape. She forcefully closed it her eyes still bleeding disbelief. I simply kept on smiling innocently at this. We were in this standoff for a few seconds until finally she broke it off:"how did you- you can't- where did you- are you a mind reader???"

My smile widened as I replied:"the word is actually legillemence and no I'm not."

"then how did you-"

"it's actually simply elementary Watson!" I cut her off and replied:"your thumb and index finger are slightly flattened, which commonly happens due to holding pens for too long. You were using a pen today, on the starting day. Also your clothing package suit looks considerably cheaper than your book package suit, showing me how much more importance you give to your books than to your clothes. All of this pointed to one conclusion. You are a bookworm." I sat back clasping my hands together looking at the horizon, striking a cool pose. Meanwhile Hermione listened to every single one of my words with shock... And awe.

I continued"your excitement about the prospect of coming to the wizarding society, then confirmed to me, my second statement. Your muggleborn status. To any child of a wizarding family this is nothing but a tradition. But to a muggleborn this a whole new world to explore. This confirming you are a muggleborn. Right before you sat down next to me I saw slight unwillingness on your face, an expression I have often seen on my clean freak aunt's face. You are a germaphobe. But unlike my aunt who developed it overtime a child like you could only have gotten it from being passed down from someone. A parent perhaps. Surveys state that the most number of germaphobes usually develop it from hospital and related jobs. So like I said. simply, elementary."

Hermione stood there with her mouth wide agape. Her eyes were as wide as tennis balls. :"wha- tha- wha-"

"Pfft... Haaahahhahaaaha" I burst into laughter leaving Hermione further confused. I said still wheezing from laughter :"oh my... Haaahaha... My God. I am sorry. I am SO sorry. I- oh my God- saw you with your parents outside. I know they are dentists. And most dentists aren't exactly magicals. "

Hermione blinked:"sooo.... You didn't deduce all of that. "

I gave a cheeky grin and said:"nope"

"then what about the nerd part. Or my 'crippling social anxiety'???"

"hermione you said Hogwarts: a history was a good read. If that doesn't make you a nerd, I don't know what will. And the social anxiety part. Well Hermione, if you really wanted to hide that from people you really need to do a better job. I got that from conversing with you for five minutes."

Moment of truth. Time itself seemed to slow down as I tried to get a read on her. she either laughs and I get a potential friend or....well, more time to read.

...

"HAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" She burst into a deep-hearted bellowing laughter. She clutched on to her stomach trying to contain it. Tears leaked from eyes from laughing. I smile cracked on my own face and soon I joined her.

And kids... That's how I made my first friend in this whole world. (yeah. That's a 'how I met your mother reference'. Deal with it. )

(AN: you should check that series out. It totally holds up)