The voices

"As rude as always.. It'd be much better if we never had you"

Jake took a deep breath.. Although it was nothing new for his mother to say painful words like these without even thinking twice, it was something Jake could never get used to.. It tears him apart every single time his mother reminds him how better it would be if he wasn't alive..

What would a person do when he's stuck between life and death.. He can't die but he can't live as well..

Wandering in a never-ending maze— all alone..

His mom continued saying hateful words to him not knowing that those words were hitting him like nails and stones— He was bleeding..

The voices in his head were active once again..

'No one wants you'

'You should die'

'You don't belong here'

'Everyone is looking at you.. They're watching'

'Everyone hates you'

'Go kill yourself'

The thing about those voices was that they knew his every single flaw.. Every single thing he was insecure about.. And those voices would use those weaknesses and insecurities against him..

They would laugh at him, make fun of him .. They would transform into the loudest voices in the room..

Iris wanted to stop her mother.. She wanted to protect her brother as he has always protected her.. But she couldn't.. She was powerless..

Their father stopped their mother but the damage was already done..

One thing that no one noticed was Jake's hands..

Having overwhelming anxiety and depression made him pick up a destructive habit.. He would scratch himself to distract himself away from those voices.. He would dig his nails in his arms till the blood would start coming out..

He can't take it anymore.. He needs to get out of there..

"I'm sorry" he murmured to Iris before running out of that place as fast as he could..

He did what he has been doing for the past years— he ran.. As fast as he could.. He ran till his lungs began to hurt and his legs gave up.. He ran till he couldn't breathe anymore..

Jake felt his knees going weak so he sat down on the grass..

Ignoring all the people around him, he laid down on the grass looking up at the sky, gasping for air.. There were barely any stars in the sky today..

He failed to realize when tears started to fall from his eyes as he just stared blankly at the sky..

''If they all wish death for me, then why do I still exist.. Why are you still keeping me alive" he questioned God..

'Stupid.. Stupid.. Stupid.. You're a sinner.. Why would he even listen to you' another voice in his head said..

" Don't be like that.. Am i.." he let out a dry chuckle through his tears "Am I really that unlovable?"

'You're way worse than you think you are'

We can fight anyone.. But what if our rival, our enemy is ourselves.. How can a person win a war again themselves..

He closed his eyes, and covered his face with his arm.. At that moment he just couldn't care less about the people who were passing by, staring at him.. He just needed a break..

'You're just overreacting for attention'

He let out a shaky sigh as he wondered 'Why.. Why am I still here then'

It's not like he didn't want to be there at all.. He wanted to live— and for that, all he needed was a reason.. A reason to continue..

He was tried— all he needed was a reason to stand up and continue..

Barely a minute passed before he felt a tap on his knee..

At first, he had no energy to look up at the person.. He didn't care about who it was, or what he wanted; Probably someone asking if he was okay or to tell him that it's not allowed to lay there.. He couldn't care less..

He had no energy in him to lie that person and tell them that he's okay and asked them to leave him alone..

"Are you okay?"

He knew that voice.. He immediately recognised the voice.. After all, the sound of this voice was something that he craved for years..

His breathing was back to normal now but he was still covered in sweat..

He removed his arm from his face, slowly looking up at the person.. He was scared— He was scared that what if that too, was nothing but his imagination..

That voice belonged to a person who was like a safe place to Jake, his home.. A place he would go to whenever he needed comfort.. A soothing voice that would always calm his aggressive thoughts and provide him comfort..

Maybe he was addicted to them..

For some reason, he felt like his questions were answered.. A soothing wave rushed over his mind shutting all the voices away for while— Clearing all his doubts about him being useless and his life being meaningless..

"Abby?"