Arabel

I didn't know if I wanted to blink, scream, or groan. Every inch of me ached. I couldn't remember the last time I had changed fully, but the gunshot wound mixed with the broken wing and loss of blood was too much and I could no longer suppress it, so my survival instinct had taken over and the Phoenix was risen.

With a begrudging moan I opened my eyes to the harsh light. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling of my chambers of the orphanage I sensed another presence in the room with me and slowly pushed myself up to a seated position and saw Nathan sitting in a chair, his legs propped up on the bed next to me and his arms crossed over his chest, he was snoring softly and wearing different clothes than what we arrived in which let me know that I had been asleep for a while, although I still wasn't sure exactly how long. The door opened to my room and Sarina walked in wearing jeans, a hoody and a light blue hijab. She eyed Nathan suspiciously but smiled when she saw me awake. She had a pitcher of water and a pair of glasses to drink from.

"Rafad alrahil." She said in her Arabic tounge, letting me know that Nathan had not left my side.

"It's ok," I said softly. She scowled again as she set the pitcher and glasses on a small table in the room next to the window. I couldn't blame her for her discomfort. One look at Nathan and you could immediately tell that he had a military background, and she didn't have a good history with soldiers.

"Are you sure he is safe?" she asked, this time in perfect English. I noticed that Nathan's breathing had shifted and he was no longer snoring but didn't want to make her more nervous than she already was by letting her know he was awake so I smiled instead.

"'ana 'athaq bih fi hayati." I said gently. Her eyes were wide with surprise, and I couldn't blame her, but rather than say anything else she simply nodded before taking her leave. After she shut the door behind her I turned my gaze on Nathan who was still feigning sleep. After a moment I saw his lips curl upwards in a grin he could no longer suppress and he glanced at me through hooded lashes.

"So you trust me with your life?" he asked and I felt genuine surprise.

"I didn't know you spoke Arabic," I stated. He shrugged,

"Enough,"

"Anything else I should know?" I questioned and he dropped his feet from the bed.

"Shouldn't I be asking that," he asked with a tone of horror. I leaned back as he jumped up from the chair and sat on the edge of the bed towering over me and staring at me with burning eyes. Then the grin re-appeared and let me know that he was teasing, but his eyes held something in them, something deeper that I couldn't understand.

"After all," he whispered leaning in until his mouth was right against my ear, his hot breath rushing over me, "it's not every day you find out that Phoenixes exist." I startled and the memories flooded of us in the woods and I pushed him away so that I could see his face.

"Why are you the one who looks so surprised all of a sudden?"

"Many reasons," I answered as he leaned back, obviously expecting me to elaborate.

"You're still here," I said, and he scowled at me.

"Why would I leave?" he asked sounding offended.

"You saw me like that," I said feeling dumbfounded. I expected threats and screams not his usually teasing and albeit infuriating demeanor.

"And you're a very beautiful Phoenix," he said. I felt my face get hot and my fire blazed inside of me with a mixture of pride and embarrassment. He chuckled and touched my cheek.

"I didn't think you could get embarrassed," he said with a lopsided grin. I turned away.

"Everyone here is used to your wings," he said softly, "but is there anyone who as seen you in that form?" he asked. I pushed away from him and got out of the bed, instead moving to be able to look out the window. I watched the wind shake naked branches and snow fall in large clumps from the branches.

"No one alive." I said softly. I heard him shift his weight on the bed.

"How old are you?" he asked and I rolled my eyes at my reflection in the glass.

"This again?" I shook my head.

"Alright then answer this, what's your real form, this one, or the Phoenix?" I turned to look at him and was shocked to see that he had laid back in my spot, his arms crossed under his head causing his shirt to raise up just enough to see the unmistakable v-shape muscles of his lower abdomen. I wanted to groan at the sight of him. He was deliciously sitting there and studying me with genuine curiosity, not knowing how much he affected me.

"Both of them are." I answered, staring as he nodded as if it made perfect sense to him. I was beginning to wonder if maybe there was something wrong with him. He caught me staring an raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop?" I said and he simply laughed.

"Why are you so damn phlegmatic?" I snapped, finally unable to contain myself.

"Oh, ho, another big word?" he grinned and I felt a growl bubble up in my chest.

"Are you always this, this- ?" I grumbled unable to decide on an appropriate word as he continued to smile.

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to behave," he answered, "since you don't seem to approve of the way I'm currently behaving." I glared at him and growled then stalked up to the bed. I climbed over him, pinning him below me so that he couldn't move. But instead he moved his hands to my waist to hold me there and suddenly I was no longer sure who was trapped there.

"Is this behavior more to your liking?" he asked and I detected a huskiness to his voice. I leaned down over him and grabbed his face in my hands and held him still, our noses nearly touching as I stared into his eyes.

"Stop hiding behind this façade and answer me seriously," I commanded and his smile disappeared. Instead I was left with his burning gaze filled with what looked like an insatiable hunger. The answer I received was not what I had expected. Before I could think. Before I could even react. His hand was at the back of my head and he brought me down against him his lips crushing mine with a burning intensity. But he didn't know what he had done, what he was doing. I shoved at his chest as it felt like a bolt of electricity shot through my entire body but he didn't release me. I felt my fire burning and dancing, rejoicing at having finally made a connection to someone after hundreds, thousands, of years of being alone. I felt the tingling of smaller lightning bolts shooting between us, traveling between my lips to his. I punched his chest but it didn't phase him so I released my wings and with a powerful thrust ripped myself out of his grasp. The pitcher and glasses shattered from the force of my wings and I stepped shakily away from him, my hand to my lips as I looked at him.

"What have you done..." I gasped, everything I was trying to avoid, to avoid getting him involved, everything was shattered effortlessly by him. I lifted my hand to my head and tangled my fingers into my hair unable to focus on anything I closed my eyes as my body felt like it was burning from the inside, but this wasn't from my fire. This was the sensation of our connection being sealed. Guardians could form only one connection in their lifetime a connection that was so strong nothing could come between them, they were loyal for life. It was always described as an irresistible fate but I was resisting, how could I tie him to me? Once connected a guardian cannot physically stray too far from their other half without feeling weakened. But once I finished taking care of the dangers threatening him and Kristy I had no intention of seeing him again. Humans should live their lives unhindered by the likes of me.

"You're crying," my eyes snapped open when I realized his whispered words were so close. I instinctively tried to step backwards but my back was already pressed to the wall. He was standing right in front of me, once again I didn't detect his movements. Reaching towards me he delicately touched my cheeks as if I would shatter underneath his fingers.

"I'm so sorry." He croaked in a vulnerable voice. I reached up and touched my cheek and realized they were indeed wet. When was the last time I had cried? I recalled the painting in the library. I looked at Nathan who looked like the world was shattering around him.

"I thought..." he cut himself off, "I'm sorry... I forced it," he raked his fingers through his hair and looked tattered. I wanted to reassure him but the soft patter of feet stole my attention as Olivia burst through the door. Nathan spun around and turned his back towards us and faced the wall, obviously trying to regain his composure. Upon seeing my tear-stricken face Olivia froze and looked at Nathan then back at me.

"Homme méchant?" she asked in French. I looked to Nathan's broad shoulders and found myself craving his touch again, the connection bonds beginning to form.

"Non, ma petit fleur, c'est un homme extraordinaire." I said, letting her know that he was an amazing man, not a dangerous one like she had asked. She looked at him dubiously before returning to wrap her arms around my neck. She closed her eyes and held me tightly.

"Je vous ai manqué," she whispered and I smiled to myself.

"Moi aussi," I said. I missed her too while I was away. I had found Olivia in a dank alley in the heart of Paris, she had been living on scraps that she found and foraging through trash and only came out at night when there was less chance of being caught. She had refused to speak to me and I had spent months gaining her trust. I had looked for her parents but had found that they had died in a car accident. After which, with no living relatives, she had been placed with a foster family who had mistreated her until she ran away, so after some time and trust I asked if she had wanted to come to the orphanage.

"Olivia," I looked up and saw Maria, the onsite doctor, who had pulled the bullet out of me, "I told you to leave her alone to rest. I saw that Maria's hand was bandaged and remembered being unable to control my fire when she had been working. I set Olivia down on the floor and went to Maria, taking her hand in my own. She tried to pull it away but I shook my head.

"I'm sorry Maria," I said softly and I let my warmth seep into her and soon felt a burning sensation in my hand, I had given her second degree burns. After a moment she pulled her hand away and glanced at Nathan who still had his back towards us nervously.

"You were asleep for three days, how are you feeling? What happened?" she asked in a worried tone and I saw her looking at the shattered glass.

"It was my fault I carelessly knocked them over." I answered.

"Since you're here I wanted to tell you, our protein reserves are a bit low." She mentioned and I nodded and rubbed the back of my neck, wincing from the burn that was now on my own hand, but I knew it would heal in a few moments.

"I'll go hunting later," I said and she nodded her head, "Some of the children have been asking about you, it's been a while since you've visited."

"I know," I said softly, "I'm sorry, I'll check in with them." Maria nodded and looked at Nathan with curiosity then looked to Olivia.

"Come Olivia, you're supposed to be in class." Olivia scowled but obliged. After we were alone I turned my attention back to Nathan who seemed determined not to look at me. In fact he leaned his head against the wall and let out a groan while one hand was at his waist.

"Are you ok?" I finally asked and he flinched when I placed my hand on his arm.

"I feel like I'm burning up inside," he gasped and I realized he was glistening with sweat. I pulled him away from the wall and turned him to face me but he refused to meet my gaze. The connection was affecting him too, I wasn't sure how it would affect a human.

"Come with me," I said and he focused on me as I turned away, a look of remorse in the gaze he thought I couldn't see, but he followed. I led him out of the room and towards the library. A few children greeted me and I nodded at them but continued through the library, refusing to look at the painting above the fireplace. I led him to a dimly lit section of the library and pulled a book of the shelf and held my hand on a small hidden scanner. A shelf slid away from the wall and opened to a dark room. As I walked in I flipped a switch on the wall and lamps flickered on throughout a large room filled with thing not from this time. There was armor and weapons on the wall from different eras, clothing, books, paintings. It was a room filled with my history. In the center of it was a large conversation pit, filled with down pillows and cushions, it was the place I would come to, when I needed to be alone. There were no windows in this room.

"Woah," Nathan murmured softly and I saw him looking at a painting of a battle scene that seemed almost archaic. In it you could see me hovering above the army in the clouds. I touched his arm again and pulled him to the conversation pit.

"Who painted these?" he asked, though the question seemed forced through clenched teeth.

"Different people I've met,"

"So then these are all true events?" he asked again.

"Why won't you look at me?" I watched him freeze, watched his chest rise and fall, but he wasn't denying it.

"I can't control myself around you," he whispered while he raked his fingers through his soft brown hair. "From the moment I first saw you I've felt like I've been getting pulled in by a magnet." He said in a forced tone, "the closer I am to you, the more I want to touch you, but I don't want," He stopped and lowered his hands to his sides, clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white. "I don't want to hurt you. And I don't understand this feeling, I've only known you for a few days and yet I feel like I can't leave you. I don't want to leave you! When I touch you its like there are thousands of lightning bolts running through my body but instead of running away I want to pull you closer. Even now I feel like there's a fire inside of me but I just want to hold you close. I've never felt like this with anyone."

I realized it was the most I had ever heard him say at one time before, no jokes, no teasing, just raw honesty. I exhaled slowly and moved to stand directly in front of him. His head was lowered as if he had been beaten into submission and his eyes were shut as he appeared to be concentrated on breathing. I reached up and touched his cheek with the tips of my fingers, relishing the lightning bolts he had spoken of.

"You are misunderstanding," I whispered and he flinched, but opened his eyes to look at me with his own agonizing gaze. I caught myself rubbing his cheek with my thumb, debating whether I should tell him, and trying to determine the best way to say it.

"Well you can't stop there," he said after a few silent minutes and I chuckled softly. I led him to the pit of pillows and blankets and sat down putting a small pillow on my lap, patting it.

"Lie down," I said, "it will ease the burning until it subsides." He stared at me with wide eyes but didn't refuse. It wasn't until he placed his head on my lap and stared expectantly up at me that I realized what I had said. But it was too late to refuse now. I stared into his gray eyes and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Where I come from," I started slowly and then stopped, because what I was going to say, was something I had never shared with anyone. I felt his finger on my cheek and looked back down at him. I saw the open curiosity in his eyes.

"Human hearts are an amazing thing..." I heard myself saying and he followed with a confused snort.

"What are you talking about?"

"Guardians..." I said, and noticed his visible surprise but ignored it, I pressed my hand to his chest. "Guardians don't have the same heart as humans. They aren't as open and they don't experience or express so many emotions. Everything is very primal and actions are decided based on the best course for survival." Nathan gave me a respectful silence but I looked at him and felt awkward and bumbling.

"I didn't think it would be so hard to talk about myself." I said and he raised a questioning brow. I took a deep breath then moved my hand to his face, I rubbed my knuckles over the four-day stubble that had grown on his jaw.

"You know guardians, one way we can communicate is through touch. When we touch eachother skin to skin like this, we can share our thoughts, memories, and emotions. Whenever I touch you, I feel as if that part of me is trying to force its way to you.

"Hmm," he murmured and leaned into my touch, I smiled, "so when you touch a human you feel the electricity instead?" he asked sounding disappointed,

"No." I clarified, "you are the only person I will feel this way with. I can't seem to control myself around you either. You're not like any human I've ever met. Although I was surprised to hear that you felt that too." He looked like he wanted me to clarify and I bit my lip.

"Does this have to do with why you were crying?" he asked and I held his gaze, realizing he was much more perceptive than I gave him credit for.

"In your defense," I said with a small sigh, "you didn't know what you were doing." I tried to remove my hand from his cheek but he grabbed it with his own and held it there.

"What do you mean by that?" he questioned with a hint of anger in his voice. I held his gaze and his brow furrowed in frustration. His adam's apple bobbed with an angry swallow and I watched the muscles flexing and twitching in his jaw and without realizing I was doing it, I leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead.

"Don't try to distract me," he growled and I laughed.

"I'm not, I told you I'm not going to hold back. This is just difficult to say."

"Start from the beginning."

"Hmm." I inhaled and his scent engulfed me. His smell, which I still couldn't identify, was intoxicating.

"Guardians don't really have a concept of love, or if they do, they don't express their love for one another openly." I started slowly, I didn't know how he would react.

"What we do have, is a connection, a bond with eachother which in a sense binds us together. I guess it's like, there's always going to be a pair, this is making me cringe to say but in human terms its like 'soul-mates'. Except for guardian's its in the literal sense, our souls become bound together making us 'mates' forever. Or, however long we end up living for. To be honest I didn't understand why I was feeling the way I do whenever I was with you. I didn't think it was possible for this to happen to me." I hesitated, realizing I was babbling but at the same time waiting to gauge his reaction.

"So... we made this 'connection'?" he asked softly, his voice void of any emotions, and I didn't dare look at his face. "I don't see how this has to do with why you were crying." I sighed.

"I don't think you understand. But then again I'm probably not explaining it well either." I suddenly regretted letting him use my lap as a pillow and wanted terribly to put distance between us, because I didn't know how I would take his next reaction. "Guardians don't 'shop around' for someone to make a connection to. It happens only once in our life-time, you only feel this way with that one person and that person only. I tried to fight it, weakly I'll admit, I don't even know if it's possible to fight a connection. But I didn't know that you were feeling the same way..."

"Just spill it," he snapped and I looked away.

"As cliched as it sounds, a guardian's connection is sealed with a kiss. Once that is done you'll feel a burning sensation while the unbreakable bonds of your souls are formed."

"But Nathan... You are not a guardian."