Nathan

I looked at her, her gaze away from me, and she suddenly looked small and fragile. I didn't fully comprehend what she was telling me or more like I didn't comprehend why it was such a big deal. But I knew that I  didn't like the way she seemed to be dismissing me.

"What does me not being… like you, have to do with it?" I asked, feeling a wave of anger inside me. For the first time since I've known her, which granted was not that long, she was fidgeting.

"I'm not going to hold you to something that you have no ties to." The entire time she had been struggling over her words, which for someone with such a large vocabulary when flustered, seemed strange. But then seeing her there her arms wrapped around herself. The pieces fell into place. She was trying to let me go. I stared at her and then sat up abruptly I grabbed her arm and pulled her against my chest wanting her to look at me, but instead she turned her face away, refusing to meet my gaze.

'Stay with her.' That voice returned in my mind, I had been hearing this voice a lot since that time in the woods. Another wave of anger washed over me.

'I'm trying.' I tilted her chin upwards and pulled her mouth to mine once more, she put her hands against my chest and I pulled away.

"If you want me to stop then push me away."I whispered against her lips but instead of pushing her trembling hands grabbed fistfuls of my shirt and I took it as a signal to continue. I pressed my lips to hers once more before pulling away, but only enough to ask,

"How old are you?"

"Wha," I pressed my lips to her again and she moaned against me. I pushed her down onto the cushioned seats.

"Answer the question." I hissed against her lips. Her eyes finally met mine and I saw the despair hidden in them.

"I've lived for over two thousand years," she finally said, and when I looked into those crystaline eyes, that had so many layers to them, I knew that she wasn't lying. I pressed my lips to hers again, with a new intensity this time. I traced her face with my fingers registering the fire burning inside and knowing that she felt the same thing. I pressed harder and then traveled to her neck. I breathed heavily, feeling intoxicated just by being this close to her.

"So you're telling me that for two thousand years you have been alone and have never been able to feel like this?" I breathed against her neck and let my hands travel down her body. I felt down her leg until I reached the edge of her dress and rested my hand on her thigh. Because it was when I touched her skin directly, that the electricity between us was strongest. I felt her whole body shudder underneath me and she responded only with a weak whimper. So I pulled away breathing heavily I leaned backwards away from her. Her chest heaved as she opened her dazed eyes which immediately cleared when she met my gaze.

"You're angry?" she question and I narrowed my gaze at her.

"You're damn right I'm angry!" I growled and reached forward to touch her face and neck and once again a shiver raced through her body.

"For two thousand years you've been alone. Not feeling anything for anyone, and not having anyone feel anything for you. Yet here you are reacting like this to me," I traced my finger down her chest which heaved with a heavy breath, "and you're telling me to leave you?" I couldn't stop the hurt that entered my voice. Her eyes widened and I saw the pupils dialate larger. She opened her mouth,

"I can't expect something from you when you had no choice in the matter," she said and I could see how much this was hurting her.

"I did have a choice," So much made sense now. My reaction to her. My life until this point. I leaned back in and kissed her, but this time on the forehead. I pulled away again and held her gaze.

"You didn't force me to kiss you. I chose to do that. How could you ask me to leave you alone, knowing that doing so would mean you would forever be alone?"

"I don't want you to," she started but I stopped her with another kiss and felt her groan in frustration at not being allowed to speak.

"Enough." I said, "you're not going to chase me away. I might not live as long as you. But at least let me give you my time." I whispered and I saw those tears from earlier return to her eyes, threatening to spill over. I kissed her eyes then and smiled down at her.

"Besides," I said, "we are not that different. I might not be as old as you. But I've never felt like this with anyone either. My whole life I haven't even been attracted to anyone, and part of me thought something was wrong with me. Let alone feel like I wouldn't be able to breath if I was apart from someone." She searched my face and shook her head.

"How can you take things so calmly?" she asked, "everything I tell you, everything that happens. Nothing is phasing you." I shrugged and pulled away from her and instead sat next to her.

"Maybe it's this connection?" I said, because truth be told, I didn't understand my reactions either. All I knew was that the more I learned about her. The more I wanted to know.

"This room is really amazing you know," I said pulling away and this time putting distance between us. I saw her confusion at my sudden change of topic and I chuckled.

"My self restraint can only go so far," I implied softly and through her widening eyes she told me she understood. So I looked back at the room and books around me and then turned my attention back to her.

"But I don't understand why these are hidden here?" she smiled softly while looking at a painting of her standing in a lake staring at the sky that was leaning against a shelf on the opposite side of the room.

"Contrary to what you may see, I don't enjoy seeing myself all over the place," she said softly, "but over the years I've met many artists who used me for their paintings, or their stories. They knew the risks for me so they would not make multiple copies. The only copies are the ones that I have and out of respect I promised not to destroy them so they are here spread around the orphanage or kept in here." She said.

"Do you ever read the stories?" I asked looking at the shelves filled with books and she chuckled.

"I've either read, or lived, through them all." She was staring in space as if reliving a different time.

"Was there a time era that was your favorite?" I and she pursed her lips in thought. But before she answered a very inelegant growl came from her stomach and her eyes widened while I couldn't help but bellow in laughter. She threw me a disparaging look before standing and holding her hand out towards me to help me up as well, I missed the warmth of her hand as soon as she released me.

We left the hidden room and library and headed towards the main entrance that we had come from. She stretched in the sunlight while I shivered from the intense cold air, hating the fact that I had left the jacket I was given upon our arrival in the room. In contrast, I watched, mouth agape, as Arabel threw herself in the snow, wearing nothing but the thin white dress she had slept in. Then came the sound of her bones crunching and changing and I found I was getting used to that sound. In a matter of milliseconds a silvery grey snow leopard stood on front of me. She rolled in the snow playfully before an icy breeze hit her and she tilted her head into it. I could see the hunger and excitement gleaming in her eyes just as she turned and bolted into the forest. I wanted to follow her, but with no jacket, and only two legs versus her four, I knew there was no way I would be able to keep up.



Dinner was a roasted elk that was caught by Arabel. I had watched her,  back in her human form, dragging the massive Elk behind her while she was covered in an array of fur and blood. Her white dress had been replaced with a pair of pants and a hooded sweatshirt, both drenched. When she returned she had left the elk with the same burly men who had carried her in on the first day, and then she herself had left to take a shower and clean herself off. Even with the mixture of fur and blood on her, I wanted to do nothing more that smother her with kisses.

We ate in the massive dining hall where everyone in the orphanage ate. There were different options for anyone with dietary restrictions and I was surprised to see a diverse amount of fruits and vegetable options until one of the onsite chefs explained, with pride, that everything was grown there in the greenhouse that Arabel had built for them. I watched her as she both ate and interacted with children. I notice some of the older boys eyeing her with infatuation while the girls all hung on her every word. When I sat down. At the table across from her I didn't miss the wary glances or annoyed expressions from the youth around me.

"I don't think I'm liked very much." I whispered to her and she chuckled with a shrug.

"You're the first 'adult' I've ever brought with me." She explained and I looked at the teachers and chefs and remembered that the children who stayed in this orphanage also had the option to remain and work here.

"So everyone who works here was once a…" I trailed off, not sure how to ask my question without risking the possibility of triggering some of the children within hearing distance with their lack of parents. But Arabel understood and smiled sadly before nodding her head in response to my unfinished question.

"Miss Arabel, how long will you be staying?"  a young boy asked while giving me an annoyed glance. Arabel glanced out the window in the dining hall with a faraway look.

"Storm is coming…" she said, "so I think we may be stuck here for a little while longer," she grinned at the boy who smiled with a mixture of relief and excitement.

She wasn't wrong about the oncoming storm. Later in the evening while in the library with a gaggle of children wind began to beat the side of the building with a furious vengeance and when I looked outside the window I couldn't even see a few inches in front of us, just a wall of white. The children didn't seem affected by the storm, although in this location, I'm sure it wasn't their first one. Instead they seemed to take joy in being able to spend more time with Arabel.

As promised she played with them, albeit unconventionally. Rather than board games or something similar, the children enjoyed testing her ability to change into different animals. They asked for their favorites before moving on to have her change into the scariest, fastest, cutest, and whatever else they could think of. Despite the lion, and tiger or the panda the one I enjoyed the most was when Olivia ran up to her carrying a clear bucket of water and asking something in french that I didn't understand. Her request was followed by an amused laugh from Arabel and then there was a soft thud and in her place was a small white seahorse. Olivia's eyes widened in amazement and joy as she clapped her hands together. Then she scooped Arabel's fragile body and placed her in the bucket. But once placed in there a very out of breath Arabel appeared gasping for air before looking at the children around her.

"Seahorses need salt water!" she cried dramatically and then translated to Olivia who had a horrified expression on her face but Arabel simply laughed and ruffled her hair which seemed to calm the little girl down. I realized, watching her, just how much she loved children. Except I had the strongest feeling that it wasn't just children she loved but humans in general. The way she acted with the children and the adults the same. As if she was in awe of them and filled with a respect of admirations. I smiled as I thought to myself. I didn't think she was aware of just how beautiful she was, inside and out.

"Mr. Nathan, what animal do you want her to change into?" someone asked, I didn't catch who. I looked to Arabel who had a curious and expectant expression on her face.

"My little white bird," I said with a soft smile and she frowned at me.

"What kind of bird?" someone asked and I shrugged.

"I'm not sure what kind of bird it is… but she should know, my little white bird." I said again and this time a look of recognition fill her gaze as she chuckled softly.

"Who can tell Mr. Nathan what kind of bird this is?" she said and then in the blink of an eye, sure enough, she was replaced with the little white bird I had grown accustomed too.

"Ah it's a finch!" a child yelled in excitement. Arabel, the little finch, fluttered up to me and landed on my shoulder. She hopped closer to my neck before pressing her head to my cheek affectionately. Then she disappeared and appeared once again in front of us.

"Alright, I do believe it is past everyone's bedtime," she said softly and there was a chorus of groans. But the yawns of tired children were not missed by Arabel's watchful eye.

"Go on now, we will be here tomorrow as well." she said but there was a look of apprehension about her that I couldn't place.