Survive

After suffering from stomach pain for so long, she couldn't even count the time. Shuang Zihua let out a loud cry and pushed out the baby in her stomach with all her might. Once she felt that her stomach was empty. Shuang Zihua propped himself up on his side, pulled out the child, and used the knife he had prepared several days earlier to cut the umbilical cord. She didn't know if what she was doing was right or wrong. She only thought that only by doing this would the child be able to separate from her body.

 Shuang Zihua tied the child's umbilical cord tightly. She was afraid that her child would die if anything came out of that little umbilical cord. This was her son. Finally, she was no longer alone in this cruel world. She will love him as much as she can. And she would raise him better than those bad people.

 Shuang Zihua took the cloth he had prepared a long time ago and soaked it in water that had been hot before she gave birth and was now almost cold. She used a damp cloth to clean her child gently. He continued to cry loudly like a healthy child. She was very lucky that her child was not born deformed from the few foods available in this mountain. Shuang Zihua finished cleaning up his son and wiped himself clean. Right now, she still didn't have enough strength to get out of bed. She could only move on her side until she finished everything.

 After looking at it, there was unlikely to be anything else for her to do with her already exhausted strength. Shuang Zihua immediately fell asleep next to his son who had already fallen asleep.

 Tonight was the night she had the best dream of her life. She dreamed that her son would grow up to be a handsome and talented young man. Shuang Zihua hoped that this dream of hers could come true in the future. She hoped that heaven would not bully and harm her and her child again. She didn't want her child to suffer like she had experienced before.

 Shuang Zihua didn't know how long she had been asleep. She woke up again when she heard her child crying loudly. Shuang Zihua remembered how Anukang had breastfed his child when he cried like this. She imitated the way Anukang did by holding her son to her bosom. She opened her shirt and took his small head and placed it near her chest. The child could smell his mother's scent and a bit of milk on Shuang Zihua's chest. He quickly opened his little mouth and sucked hungrily. Shuang Zihua gasped from the pain of her little son sucking her breasts too hard. It was considered that she was not so malnourished that she had no milk to give her children. Maybe it was because she often caught fish to cook before giving birth. Therefore, she had enough milk for him to drink and eat like this.

 Shuang Zihua had gone through terrible mental pain before. Now that the son's stomach was full and he was sucking more softly. Shuang Zihua looked at the little face with a smile. This was her first heartfelt smile since her birth. She had never smiled like this before because of the heartlessness of her family members. Shuang Zihua thought to himself that from now on She will bring smiles and happiness to her only son. Even though he doesn't have a father. But she will be both father and mother to him.

 Shuang Zihua sat and looked at her son and thought about what name she would give him. She didn't know what her beggar husband's surname was. So he could only use his own surname to appoint his son first. After all, he was still the father of her child. Even if he hurt her that day But after she came here and thought about that night in circles, She then understood that he was likely to be hurt just like her as well. So she didn't think about blaming him any longer. Since he was also a victim like her.

 After thinking about his son's name for a long time, So she named him Shuang Zhizhi. After all, her name was Shuang Zihua. Since he was her son If you use similar names, you will be remembered well too. She didn't know what her son's name meant. She could only think of such a simple name.

 Shuang Zihua prepared well before giving birth. She had caught some fish and put it in a bucket in the kitchen earlier. She knew that after giving birth she would not be able to move her body too much. So she prepared almost everything near her. Even her clothes were piled up on the bed instead of on the other side of the table like before.

 Shuang Zihua lifted himself up from the bed and went to make some food for himself. She had not eaten anything since the birth pains began. She was really hungry right now, even though she was in quite a bit of pain from her postpartum wounds. But out of necessity This made her grit her teeth and go out to make some simple food to fill her stomach first.

 After finishing eating and about to get up to collect the remaining food. Her son's cry sounded again. Shuang Zihua put aside what she wanted to do and slowly walked back into the room to see what her child wanted.

 Shuang Zihua sat on the bed and held his son, trying to get him to drink milk again. But her son did not eat. He only cried. Shuang Zihua thought for a moment and remembered that Anukang's servant used to take off the baby's wrappings and clean it. Shuang Zihua opened the cloth that wrapped her child and took a look. She found that it was Mrs. Pee's son. The cloth she used was her old clothes that had been cut into pieces. To use since before birth This cloth was unlike any good diaper she had ever seen. So she looked and didn't know if her son had peed or pooped.

 Shuang Zhihua hurriedly cleaned up Shuang Zhizhi and wrapped him again. Shuang Zhizhi felt comfortable and he continued to sleep peacefully. Shuang Zihua looked at her son who seemed to understand her matter with a smile. He was so good, unlike the babies she had seen crying so hard.

 After laying his son down on the bed Shuang Zihua stood up and walked slowly. Go back to the kitchen to put away the food and clean the bowls first. She looked around the little hut she had lived in for the past almost a year and could only ponder. Could her son live like this with her? She wanted her child to have a good future like other children. But what should she do? Right now, she didn't even have the strength to take him to another place.