Chapter 36

It's safe to say I have become a baby myself since he found out there are two of us and not one. I haven't even touched the floor. He's been carrying me around ever since. He is more than happy to do it over and over again.

I smile at everything he does. From cooking me a heavy dinner because I'd only eaten an apple a few hours after I had the noodles as lunch to helping me take a shower. The fact that he is a clean freak sometimes drives me crazy and I wonder how Xiumin is because he always complains about how clean and neat the big bro is.

With every little thing that he has done for me tonight, I feel like all of my problems have just disappeared. Like I am in a fairy tale that I wouldn't want to wake up from. This man here really knows how to be a man with his little childish acts that he does only to me, in case what he has told me is true. Anyone would be surprised if they heard he had been single for as long as he could remember.

My eyes can't help but stare at him. He must be tired, seeing how he was supposed to sing for me so that I could sleep but he is the one who has fallen fast asleep instead. With the clothes that I got from my mother's closet, which I never thought I'd have to use since they belonged to someone she loved dearly.

They were the clothes she bought but never got a chance to give to him. The very same person she thought would be her husband but never got a chance to. Someone who abandoned her. The thought makes me close my eyes. The man found out about me and didn't think twice about leaving her. Now it's my turn. I know for sure. He will do the same. He will leave me without a second thought.

But then no. I can't think of this right now. I have to think about my baby. No matter how painful it is, I have to love it. I have to accept that it is mine and anyone can abandon and hate it, but not me.

The feeling of guilt again overcomes my whole being. What kind of a mother struggles to love her very own child? I must be terrible. I know how it feels to be hated by my own parent yet my action screams the provision of the same fate to the little one. The lyrics of the thought never leave me alone, until dreams start playing in my head, waking up the next morning without remembering any of them.

My eyes are opened to the penetrating light from the sun. I look at my room which was once shabby and now looks like a princess's. He must have done the magic. Everything is in order. I pray to God like how I do it every day before I start my day. I have to pray. With every feeling that I am feeling right now, I really need his guidance. I need to be a good mother and a good person, no matter what the outcome may be.

Even though I understand my mother, I don't want to be like her. That path is too bitter.

I take my phone from the table and turn it on. Only one message has popped on it and it's from one and only, Sehun.

'Around 9 the doctor will come to check on you. Don't skip breakfast'

"What are we exactly? Not even a good morning, honey?" I am a little disappointed to the point I say it out loud.

In all years I have tried dating, no man has ever sent me a nice good morning text. How do they take me exactly? And why do I feel so mad over this? Just yesterday I was proud of how manly he is and today God is already showing me his unmanly side. Or wait. Is it because I am about to become a mom? That all I need to do is to take care of the baby? For God's sake!

"I hate myself!" I wish I could shout louder but I can't because I am already feeling dizzy. I need something to eat. I am craving meat. And I need that KFC chicken. I certainly need those If I want to live today!

I go to the kitchen and go straight to the fridge. Opening it, I find sticker notes almost everywhere. The fridge is full and I have no idea when he did the shopping because it's only 8:36 in the morning.

Good morning babe,

Honey, little Zee needs milk

Sunshine, our body needs as many fruits as possible

And what the hell is Zee? The name of the baby? I chuckle.

Just to mention a few. The stickers are everywhere and I can't help but let down the tears from my eyes. I was complaining about him not leaving me sweet messages when he was busy preparing all of these things for me. I look at the dining table that is between the living room and the kitchen. It's full of everything, including meat. How did he know I was craving it?

"Why do you make everything hard for me, Sehun?" I sigh before I sit myself and enjoy what my baby worked so hard this morning to make me happy. This time I will say it again without regrets afterwards, "My babe is a man!" I shout before digging into the meat again.

After some time, the door knocks. I get up from the seat and step closer to the door and open it. A beautiful woman in her late forties forges a bright smile.

"Miss Ha Ra,"

"Yes, that's me," I forge one too. Not that I want to smile right now but I can't turn down such a beautiful smile.

"Congratulations! My client Sehun has told me about the good news," I'm not sure if they are that good. I welcome her inside and right now we are heading to the living room.

"Well, yeah I suppose," Remember Ha Ra, practice how to be a good mother.

"And I take it he is the father," I can definitely feel the smile while I don't say anything and I just fake a smile. No, ma'am, he is not the father.

"Let me see," She starts examining me. After a while of doing her job, very carefully I noticed, she finally speaks.

"You are in good condition. But I have noticed, you must be under some sort of stress which is not good for the baby or you for this matter," I nod. I know I am not fair in this whole thing.

"Is it the pressure of having someone as big as him the father of your baby?" She asks.

"I don't think I can organize my thoughts and tell you what is really with me and the baby," I sigh.

What I have told her is true though. The baby's father doesn't want him. The other man is more than happy and this time I hate the fact that the truth will disappoint him.

I hate that the fate that my mother had is now with me. And more importantly, I don't know what hurts me the most. Of all those facts that keep revolving around my head, which one exactly triggers my mind too deeply?

"Enough!" She flips her fingers, driving me out of my thoughts, "You need to relax my dear. None of those thoughts matter more than you and the baby right now. Because there might come a day when it might be just you and the baby against the whole world."

I smile, " Thank you," She is right. None of these matters. All that should matter right now is this baby. As a mother, that is what I should be thinking about and that is what I should focus on.

"Okay," She looks at her gold watch, "It's almost time for me to meet another patient. Our time today ends now. Have a good day and these," She takes a notebook from her black leather pouch, " Are what you should include in your diet. Daddy asked for it," I roll my eyes.

"Thank you," I take them from her, " There are times I feel like he wants to carry the baby himself instead,"

She laughs, "He is way too excited. He will make a good father,"

"And I am more than thankful."

"Well," We both get up and head towards the door, "Make sure you exercise honey,"

" I will," She waves goodbye one last time before she walks towards her car and hops inside, " She must be filthy rich," I say to myself. Being a doctpr that takes personal care of people like him is no joke. I wonder what her story is like.