Chapter 45: A Shadow.

I'd love to say that we had arrived, but life didn't work that way sadly. Instead, I went about my… what was my normal schedule? It occurs to me that I've done nothing but train recently. Which meant I had no usual routine to fall into. Well, may as well visit Doc then?

With our course set and with Helmsman and Navigator working out how we were even going to arrive at our destination I took the chance to head out. In some way, I wish I could just snap my fingers and arrive at our location. Yet, I couldn't. Life didn't have something convenient like fast travel… Wait… didn't Goku get some weird teleport skill at some point? I'm honestly not sure about that, I'm probably just imagining it. I mean, such a convenient power up would have made a huge difference! Surely it must have had an arc or real explanation for it right? Surely.

The walk to the med bay didn't take long as I mused on that conundrum rattling in my brain. Arriving at the med bay, I walked inside and saw a hologram of Doc walking around. I wonder if it helped center her to have a projection of her. Upon entering her hologram turned to regard me.

"Ah, Rettas, your early."

I shrugged.

"Just wanted to get this done sooner than later. Especially with our next job lined up."

"A good mentality to have. Step inside the enclosure and we can begin."

I did as she said, the door shutting behind me isolating me.

"Now, do you mind showing me your evil ki again? I know you briefly did during your training, but I didn't have the proper instruments inside the Gravity chamber for that."

"No need to repeat yourself Doc."

I focus on that feeling. That itching, those whispers at the back of my mind. That flickering flame formed in my hand. No longer the size of a lighter. It burned, filling my palm. I felt the lights darken. The shadows deepen. Inside the enclosure I began to hear whispers. Figures in the shadows Eyes in the fire wandering and looking for something. The longer I held it, the clearer they became.

Cries of children. Screams of those dying. Agony, despair. Curses given form. I felt it crawling up my arm. Clawing its way into my veins and body. A thousand voices and countless limbs began to reach and feel for me. Demanding something of me, and yet… Why did it feel so oddly distant?

"RETTAS!"

Her voice snapped me back. I crushed the flame, my breath shaky, my body coated in ice cold sweat. I could still feel it inside me as I pulsed my ki. It rejected it, no, it ate at it voraciously. Consuming and feeding off it and I felt my body burn. I felt their curses, their hate pulsing into me. Pushing into me more and more. Their words, like threads trying to claim my movements, make me into their puppet, a doll made to fulfill their desire. To kill. To maim. To END it all. Starting with me.

I took a few shaky moments to calm myself. Waiting until I could once more feel my arm. It wasn't that bad when I last tested it. I did it briefly in the chamber and it was barely anything. Like a flickering flame, yet, why was it now so large?

"Can you tell me what just happened Doc?"

I looked up to see her messing with her computers.

"I don't know honestly. A huge amount of data was corrupted by that energy and I'm doing everything I can. What I can tell though, is that your self-named Evil Ki is definitely not something for the lighthearted. It also appears to be consuming your S-cells, rather, just using it seems to have accelerated the conversion rate. Could you channel your normal ki?"

I did as she said, her lips were pursed, her face grim.

"I have no idea what's going on, but the two cells are essentially at war with each other. I don't think it's negative, but it looks to me like only one can win. I also am willing to bet that you won't be able to go super as you call it until you hit a certain density of S-cells. Especially since the E-cells function completely differently."

"What's my current percentage for both?"

"40% S-cells, 30% E-cells now."

"That much?"

"You were cycling your evil ki for nearly an hour Rettas! Hell, I'm shocked too!"

An hour!?

"So, what does that mean exactly?"

"Don't use your evil ki."

"Wasn't planning to, but what if I let the E-cells overtake the S-cells?"

She thinks about that.

"You may be able to go super like that, but… I mean, they both have similar functions, but the cells seem based in different areas."

"Different areas?"

"Yes, S-cells seem focused on the upper back at the base of the neck, whereas E-cells seem more focused on the base of your tail. Unless you actively channel your evil ki I don't think it will be able to overcome the S-cells anytime soon."

"How much was it before I used my evil ki?"

"Somewhere close to 10%."

"I gained nearly 20% in an hour?"

"Yes. I don't know why, or how it works, but that's just how it is."

I sigh… "Well, not like I was planning to use it anytime soon."

"So, you do plan to use it?" She gave me a glare as she spoke.

"It's a power. It would be a waste not to use."

"You're playing with fire Rettas. That evil ki is nothing good."

"Evil, Good? Both are no more than concepts. I understand its dangerous, hence why I'm not using it now. However, I don't like the idea of just wiping it away without fully understanding what it is." Especially since something about it felt important. Or, perhaps it was my desire to be special that tempted me to poke what shouldn't be. If I channeled my power, I bet I could purify those E-cells, but… did I want to? The near even split oddly enough reflected my own split desires.

The question of near instant gratification. I had enough to barely push to super if I purged the E-cells, or converted them in some way. Something told me I could do so with ease. Yet… Wanted to see what was on the other side.

A recipe for disaster I know, but… I wanted to trust my gut here. Not my mind.

She frowned, but eventually agreed. If only because she too wanted to know what it was before making a commitment. And also, she knew she couldn't truly dissuade me.

"Just be careful."

"Of course."

My confident answer caused her to roll her eyes in response.

"I have no idea how you can be so calm knowing that theirs such a dangerous energy within you."

"If you think about it like that, yes, it is terrifying. But I know an old saying."

My words caught her attention.

"Inside of everyone are two wolves. Good, and Evil. Can you guess who wins?"

"I don't know. The one you feed?"

"Bingo. So, thinking of these powers as wolves that I can feed. Well, who's to say I can't tame them? Who says I have to choose between good and evil? Light and dark?"

She laughed.

"What an idiotic way of thinking!" She said between chuckles. And, childish I had to admit. Even to myself.

"Well, Saiyan's aren't exactly known for our intelligence." I continue, ignoring my own dig. Trying to push the conversation along.

"I'd more or less call your kind idiot savants from what I've seen."

"Seen? I thought I was the only Saiyan you met."

"You are, but your ship, the Attack Ball has a vast library of information. Including the origins of your species, or rather the suspected origin. The myths of the Legendary Super Saiyan, the basic information about the Oozaru transformation. Everything essentially."

That raised an eyebrow. I wasn't aware. No, I never even really checked… Huh…

"And you've known this how long?"

"Awhile. In fact, I made sure your visor would be able to filter out Blutz waves since it is entirely possible you could be exposed to them in space."

"Uh, what waves?"

"Blutz waves? Don't tell me… No, actually that makes perfect sense. Did you never look through your Attack pods programs?"

I think… I think through my combined memories of past Rettas and mine.

"A little? Never put too much effort into it."

She sighs, a long hard one.

"Figures. Anyway, I have a suspicion that your tails are key to some kind of change. Especially when I saw records of a so-called great golden ape in your history files. I mean, your attack ball has a built-in learning program, did you not know this?"

My blank expression was all she needed.

"Your people were truly stupid." I couldn't argue. From what I know… Saiyan's were all morons. They never tried to figure out how ki worked. Never trained their abilities beyond throwing it around like a child throwing sand around. Never really learned any true fighting techniques or martial abilities. Yet, somehow, they still managed to be one of the most terrifying species in the galaxy.

"Anyway, I think when your S-cell count hits a certain point especially with what you've already told me of this Super Saiyan form. I think it's possible for your Oozaru form to go Super as well." Which made sense, but I was taking that speculation with a grain of salt.

"Which is why I need full, if not close to full cell saturation?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Exactly."

'Figures'… I mutter internally to her agreement.

"If I know anything, very likely the Super Oozaru form is going to be a pain to get control of." I continue, this time in my normal speaking voice.

"I imagine it will be."

"Anything else I need to know? Like, why it is my telekinesis won't improve or such?"

"Oh, that's simple. You're an idiot." I stare.

"In fact, the only reason you can even use it is due to an odd adaptation your mind took, probably as a result of getting hit with an absurdly powerful psionic. Although, if you keep training it will eventually get good enough to be combat capable. Except with your growth rate, I don't think it'll ever catch up."

I sigh. Well, there goes that. Welp, not that I cared. Using it to fetch stuff from across the room is already good enough.

"Should I stop then?"

"I wouldn't suggest it. Even if it's not making your telekinetic stronger it is having a marked effect on your mental defenses."

"All right… Then am I good to go?"

"Well, I actually had a question for you." She almost looked sheepish.

"Yes?" I asked back, unsure what had her looking so strange. She was always so confident. So it felt strange to see her hesitating.

"The more I look at your genetics and bodies capabilities the more I find myself… Intrigued by it."

Not sounding suspicious at all yet. Totally not, or so I think, while ramping up the sarcasm meter to max.

"In fact, I was wondering if you would allow me to clone a Saiyan body for me to inhabit. Ah, but I can alter the DNA so we aren't too genetically similar."

…Huh?

"You realize how bad an idea that is? Right?"

I don't think she understood quite where I was going with that.

"Saiyan's are… Very protective of their DNA. Not to mention, if Saiyan DNA or cloning was made mainstream what kind of hell would it create? Especially when you keep insisting, we must have been bio-engineered to be a war race."

She considered my words.

"You do have a point…"

"And I have a clincher, Saiyan DNA is supremely compatible with human DNA. In fact, they are one of the only known species that actually inherit a Saiyan's S-cells."

Her eyes widen.

"Shit…"

She whispers.

"I can see why you would be worried. Mass kidnapping of humans, transplantation of Saiyan DNA and cells through genetic therapy… An instant army of super soldiers able to adapt at absurd rates."

She took some time to do something as I took the chance to step out of the enclosure. Only when she was done did she look at me.

"If, it's not possible I won't press. I understand that it may not be a good idea."

Surprisingly reasonable. She also gave up way too easily…

"What about the whole galaxy ending threat?" I ask with a bit of suspicion.

"This is a galaxy ending threat if this gets out. If I even attempt to do anything serious with your DNA, I will need to make sure the computers and instruments I plan to use are ironclad to prevent leaks. Not just that, but I'd have to work on it solely myself."

She was spiraling into a full-blown rant.

"Anyway!" I interrupted her. "If you can promise to keep it secret, or at least as a one-time thing I can allow it, but only after I hit super."

That condition had her confused.

"Why until then?"

"My body may undergo… Changes to say the least. It may be best to see how the S-cells alter my physiology before you even begin experimentation."

She blinked a few times.

"Huh…" She muttered in odd disbelief.

"That's actually a very fair point Rettas. I will be sure to keep that in mind then."

Keep that in mind?

"I won't pursue cloning just yet, instead I shall devote all my time and effort into fully understanding your body and how it works. If anything, maybe we can find a method to convert your E-cells back into S-cells."

I nod to that. Even if I suspected I could do so already. I wasn't going to say that though. Lest she tie me down and force me to do it.

"Now, is that it?" I was keen to get out and away from this landmine of a conversation.

"Yes, I have lots of work and data to work through now."

Then she went back to her thing. It was odd. No, what got me was how easily she backed down. She seemed almost unconcerned with the whole galaxy ending threat. Which was odd. Didn't she still care? I mean she did blow up her research base, right? I'm fairly certain she did. Why then was she so relaxed when it came to watching me grow in strength.

Shouldn't she be just as worried as me? I needed to get stronger, and she needed a fighter to beat back the oncoming existential threat. Why was she so accepting that my progress is likely stunted. Her asking to make a body, a clone of herself was somewhat expected, but asking to use my DNA to do so?

No, in fact I expected her to do that without asking me. I expected her to have a secret compartment somewhere where she was secretly producing her Saiyan army for the end times. I didn't know if her disregard, or rather her acquiescence was a good thing or bad thing.

It bothered me. Which meant yet another chip on the scales weighing on my mind. There was more too. Ever since I used that flame, the evil ki, I've had this vague sensation. This tingling at the back of my neck that made my hairs rise. Which wasn't my S-cells. Even as I walked down the corridors, I felt it. Only it was now more pronounced. I was being watched. In the shadows I swore I saw things. Red eyes watching me. Glaring at me. Even then, it felt oddly, subdued? Like, it wasn't me exactly they were looking at, but something else.

What terrified me the most though. Was I think it may be my own shadow watching me. Like, something was in it, latched onto it. Watching me, stepping in the steps I took. Waiting. Lurking. Even then, it felt… familiar somehow. And despite my fear, I didn't feel any real danger from it. If anything, it felt like, it was protecting me somehow?

Still, I gripped my hands. I didn't dare look. No, I wouldn't look. Not because I wasn't afraid, because I was. But because I told myself I wouldn't. That, as I took my steps. That I would only ever walk forward. And not just that… I knew eventually it would come to a head and I would face it head on, no matter what.

It was a clear goal; one I could get behind. It also aligned with what I already knew. I was already riding the tiger as it were. Getting off now would only result in my death and the death of many others. Ignoring the burning gazes, I stepped. My feet became surer and steadier as I banished it from my mind. Watch me, witness me! I seemed to say as I walked.

And I could almost feel the shadow shudder in response to my proclamation.

I had nothing to hide. I was an open book. I was a story in motion. A living myth whose story was being told. I couldn't shy away. Wouldn't shy away from those gazing eyes watching me. Not even if countless nameless beings were watching me. I was Rettas, and I would stand at the apex of all beings. Nothing would stop me, not even myself.

Such was my resolve. Of course, this would be a wonderful speech before a fight, but all I had to look forward too was lunch… and the long trip to our destination… Ugh… Can't I just maybe get there sooner? Maybe I should look into a teleporting ability…

And mostly, I hoped I was right. That when it came time to pay the piper, as it were, I wouldn't crumble like a deck of cards.