1.16 AuYeung LaiSan- The Secret She Held

"Shall we follow my mother's plan and go do a bit of shopping?" I asked PuiHa as we exited the tea house.

"Yes, please," she said without much excitement.

"If you don't want to shop, we can always do something else. Is there something else that would interest you?"

"Well actually," she said hesitantly. "I was mesmerized by the rolling green hills. I was wondering if we could go horseback riding instead?" she timidly asked.

"Well of course. But what you are wearing would not be appropriate for that. Let's head towards the training camp, I am sure that there will be a riding outfit there that would fit you. As we have plenty of female soldiers and I am sure one of them would be willing to lend you their outfits. I just hope you won't mind wearing other people's clothing."

"No, I won't mind. I would just appreciate that they'll even let me borrow such important equipment."

"Okay then, let's set out." As I assisted her back into the carriage, I told the servant to slowly drive and head towards the camps. I would go ahead to prepare.

At the training camp...

"Afternoon General. I thought you were going to be off the rest of the day playing host to your guest?" Deputy General Hong asked.

"Yes, Miss Lau said she wanted to go horseback riding through the back hills, so I am here to pick out a calm horse for her."

"Oh, horseback riding. Would you like two soldiers to follow you? You know,as your servants will not be able to ride along?" She winked.

"Oh yes, thank you. Please choose two female soldiers to go along with us. I will also need to borrow a riding uniform from a medium height female soldier. Please help me prepare one." I asked Deputy General Hong.

She laughed.

"What is so funny?" I seriously asked her.

Deputy General Hong replied, "Would you have gone to ask the female soldiers yourself if you didn't bump into me here at the camps?"

"No, I would have sent a soldier to look for you then ask you to do as I asked." I said while trying to look stern.

She slapped my arm, "That is for treating me like your servant."

"Where are your manners? We are still at the training camp, not your home, Deputy General Hong!" I couldn't help crack up at that last bit.

Loudly laughing, she left without another word or a solute. So, I can only assume that she was going to prepare what I had asked of her.

Really who was I kidding, I could never get respect from that girl.

ManYee Hong, Deputy General Hong has been my sworn sister since the first day of school. We not only went to school together but also trained with the same master. No one knew me better than she did and there was no one I would trust more with my life.

She was already married to her childhood sweetheart and my friend, JiaZhun Hong. Whenever I see them, I am jealous of the friendship and love that they have for each other and their twin boys are so adorable. I just love to spoil them. I smiled at the thought of those two rascals, I'll pay them a visit tomorrow.

The click-clack of the horse drawn carriage approaching the stables, brought me back to the task at hand.

I reached for the white, medium sized mare, spoke to her in whispers and she replied with a blay.

I quickly saddled her as I saw Miss Lau approach. I double checked the straps and adjusted it to Miss Lau's height.

She came and petted the horse without a bit of insecurity or reserve. She was turning out to be so different than what I first thought of her. As I fitted the bridle and flung the wrings to the back, she took hold of the saddle and with one flowing motion mounted the mare.

"Well, I don't have to ask you, how comfortable you are with riding a horse." I said jokingly.

With a wide smile she petted the horse and provided her approval of the horse. "But this dress really is too cumbersome," she said as she struggled with the excess fabric of her dress. The front of her dress now binded her right leg tauntly to the saddle, and was slowly riding up on her leg, so she lifted her legs slightly off the stirrups.

Her face turned red as she found herself stuck. She could neither get off the horse without the dress lifting up and revealing her legs nor could she continue riding in such a state.

I laughed and stretched out my arms to help her off. She hesitated for a moment then probably realized there was no other option, accepted my help.

As I lifted her off the horse like a child. Our bodies came really close and the smell of BaiLan flowers from her hair surrounded us.

As she landed back on the ground she immediately backed away and thanked me quietly. "I was too excited and hopped on without thinking. I am sorry," she said timidly.

"Don't worry about it." I said and then silence again. At this moment, I was just hoping for Deputy General Hong to quickly return. The air between us was uncomfortable and thick, I just had no idea what to say, so I just kept quiet, turned from her and readjusted the saddle.

It was silent for a really long time so just as I was about to break the awkward silence between us, Deputy General Hong came in carrying the riding outfit. After greeting Miss Lau, she pulled her along to the changing room.

As I waited, I brushed the mane of the horses and fed each of them a piece of an apple. I was absentmindedly dreaming about the future, where I can teach my own children to ride, just as my father had taught me.

"General," a timid voice said.

I peeked around the horse and saw that PuiHa had changed into the riding outfit. She definitely looked out of place in that valiant outfit. Her petite figure seemed to be weighed down by the heavy leather riding outfit, but I guess we would have to make do with what we had.

I gestured for her to come over to the horse. Again she whispered in the horse's ears before once again mounted it in one smooth motion.

I also mounted my horse and the two soldiers that were to escort us were ready as well.

"Yah!" We said in chorus and we were off towards the horizon.

The dirt and sandy training camp grounds soon gave way to lush green pastures, green as far as the eyes can see, speckled with wild yellow flowers. The scents of Spring filled the air, it was refreshing and uplifting.

I had planned to ride at a slow and steady pace to the river bank about 10 mile down. But before I knew it, PuiHa had raced past me and was happily galloping towards the mountains.

"How reckless," I tried screaming after her as she sped pass. "You don't even know where you are going."

I don't think she heard me. So I sped up to catch her. We had gone quite a ways past the open pastures into the dense forest before she stopped and I finally caught up to her.

"Where are you headed?" I asked as I caught up.

"I don't know. I was so caught up with the freedom of riding that I forgot all else," she said with a genuine smile, one that reached her eyes.

"So that gives you the right to be reckless? You can easily get lost in this forest and there are tigers around, what if something happened to you," I had intended to say this teasingly but somehow it came out harsher than I wanted.

"Oh, sorry," she said quietly then lowering her head again.

"Hey, hey it is okay. I was just joking." I quickly and frantically said. I rode to her side and I leaned a bit closer to see if she would raise her head.

"I know!" She said as she quickly lifted her head and stretched out her hand and flicked me on the forehead.

She laughed and then sped off again, back the way we came. Of course after the initial shock, I happily gave chase as well.

Just like that we spent a nice afternoon riding and it was close to sunset when we finally stopped at a tree near the lake. I had totally forgotten the soldiers following us until we finally stopped. I looked back, they were about 30 feet away and had also dismounted near the river, so their horses could grab a drink and rest. I am glad they had the sense to be further away but still within the line of sight. I must remember to give them a bonus when we return.

I happily stretched out on the grass under the tree. PuiHa stood a little ways out and was staring at the horizon. The mild glow of the setting sun shines across her face and it was a pleasant sight.

She keeps surprising me. While riding, she was a lively, spirited girl, so different from the one I met the other night.

"General, thank you for today. I haven't ridden like that in awhile and it was wonderful." she said as she walked closer.

"No problem. Riding is also one of my favorite things to do."

She sat down close to me, "General. Don't interrupt me, or I will lose my confidence to tell you this."

So I sat up and I stayed silent waiting for her to tell me what she wanted to say.

"Truth is, I am not worthy of you," she said with a sigh.

"Why do you say that?" I chimed in. She looked at me and kept silent until I understood that I was not to speak.

She continued, "General, listen to my story. I had loved riding horses since I was very young and my youngest uncle had taught me how. My parents were strict and didn't allow me to ride too often and once I was of "age" they did not allow me to ride at all. So when they would go out on their trips, I would sneak out to ride."

After inhaling deeply she continued. "About two year ago, when they were away for a ten day trip, I once again snuck out to ride. But this time I ran into a bunch of bandits and …"

She stopped and hesitated for a bit, it seemed really hard for her to say, "You don't have to continue." I said sympathetically.

She shook her head and after another deep breath later. "My horse was fast but they gave chase. They chased me to the edge of the mountain and there was no way out. They dragged me from the horse and my head hit the ground hard, and was bleeding. They tied me up and took my money, my jewelry and my horse. Some of the bandits had other evil intentions, but the leader was a decent man.

He convinced the other men that it was not worth it, he stopped them from doing anything to me. Telling them that they now had money, so they can go to a brothel and find any number of willing females to serve them. So they left, but they left me tied up so that would not go back to the city and get them arrested.

I spent a day and night tied up. It was cold in Autumn that year and soon, I was in and out of consciousness, from the wound on my head. Late the next night, a man came across me, but by then I had lost consciousness. He carried me to a cave near the base of the mountain, cared for me and reduced my fever.

By day break the next morning, I awoke in the cave. My head throbbed, and my body ached. I looked around and not far away was someone lying with his back to me. To wake him, I wanted to say something but my throat was so dry, no sound came out. I rustled around in the makeshift bed and it must have awakened him. He got up and said he would go get some water and left.

After about an incense of time, he returned and helped me drink. He asked how I felt and if anything hurt. I just shook my head.

As he replenished the fire and dispatched a rabbit he had caught, I observed him. He was about my age and had a strong body. He told me a little about himself as he worked. His name is Hai Nan. He said that he was a soldier and that he was in the forest for training. So thankfully he had brought with him a little bit of medical provisions. He would have brought me straight back to the city if it was not so cold last night. He was afraid that if he did not warm up my body and reduce my fever right then, it would have affected my brain. So he brought me to this makeshift home he had made for himself while training.

While eating, I told him about my family and how I ended up here. He hesitantly asked, whether I was violated because when he carried me, he had noticed a bit of blood on my dress. I panicked, I was in and out of consciousness and I don't know if something had happened or if the bandits had returned.

From that thought, I was panicking, almost to the point of hysteria. He came over to me and held me by the shoulders and made me look at him as he explained, "But your clothes though dirty were completely intact, even your legs were still bound together. I don't think that you were, I was just wanting to make sure. I shouldn't have asked."

"With hearing that I calmed. I asked him to bring me to the river so that I could clean up. He gave me a change of clothes and a bit more of his medical supplies. He stood behind a nearby tree, and stood watch, as I cleaned and changed.

After the trip to the river, we got back and

I told him that the bandits did not violate me. Also about how the leader had convinced them and led them away. I think I was trying to convince myself more than trying to convince him.

He dropped the topic and he told me more about his life. Though I still didn't know him well, I felt he was a person I could trust.

Like that we spent another day together. By the third day, I was finally strong enough to take that long walk back to the city and he took me back to find a doctor.

It took us half a day of travel back to the city. The first person that we bumped into at the gate, was a friend of my mother's. She recognized me and sent word to my home as I went to the clinic to get my head checked out. After awhile at the doctor's office, my maid came and took me back home after the doctor changed my dressing.

Before I left, Hai Nan pulled me aside and asked me if it would be okay if he came in half a month to my house to properly propose marriage. I was shocked but the feeling was mutual, so I nodded. He gave me a metal plaque with his surname, Nan and said this was his promise to marry me."

She took another deep breath, "This is really embarrassing," and she looked away, staring at the horizon before she continued.

"I had invited a madam, a female doctor, to come check that everything was okay, after I got home. She confirmed, I wasn't violated cause there were no other injuries but also confirmed what I feared, I was no longer intact."

Another sigh, as she continued to speak.

"Maybe he somehow also knew this as well. I had happily anticipated his arrival, with a bit of fear to tell him the news. Would he believe my innocence? I waited for that day when he would propose marriage. But half a month went by and then a month and then half a year, it has now been two years.

My parents know nothing about what happened then, they just thought I wasn't ready for marriage as I had refused all the suitors who came to call. But no, it is just that I am stupid enough to believe a simple promise from a perfect stranger and kept on waiting. Or maybe, I just don't feel I am worthy of marriage."

Finally turning away from the fleeting sunlight, she turned to me and gave me a faint smile then said, "Okay, you can talk now."