1.15 AuYeung LaiSan - Outing with Miss Lau

The next morning after breakfast, I headed over to the border wall and inspected the training camp, before I handed it all off to my Deputy General. I had planned to leave close to noon, but right before I left, I got news from the Capital that the envoy from the bordering country BeiGao will be heading to the Capital, for the Emperor's birthday. They will be at the border in four days time and were expected at the Palace two days after that. This time the Crown Prince and Princess of BeiGao will be part of the envoy. His majesty requested that I personally escort the envoy safely to the Capital.

I was quite excited at the chance to return to the Capital. Maybe it was fate that I am now able to return. I wanted to meet Miss AuYeung and maybe discover that she is not as wonderful as I have imagined her to be and finally be able to move on.

After a bit more preparation, I headed home.

After changing out of the uniform and donning a dark green cheongsam, I was waiting for Miss Lau at the Receiving Hall while one of the servants went to announce it.

I was admiring the BaiLan flowers and inhaling their sweet fragrance. A mix between the refreshing scents of a cooling water fall and a fragrant rose. Its scent is as crisp as the morning air after the first rain.

"General." A very timid voice announced her presence. I looked up and saw PuiHa standing in front of the entryway. She was dressed in a plain light purple and beige dress and her hair was just braided at a slant so that it draped over her shoulder to the front. I cannot say that PuiHa was an extraordinary beauty but there was definitely something appealing in her appearance, a certain innocence. It made you feel like you needed to protect her.

Giving a slight bow, a show of respect, I said, "Good afternoon, Miss Lau, are you ready to depart?"

"Yes, General," she answered ever so timidly, her cheeks once again turned pink.

"Okay, let's set off." I started walking towards her and gestured for her to walk alongside me, but she backed away. So I kept walking, she was always a few steps behind. How was I supposed to get to know her when I can't even have a conversation with her? I felt this was going to be a very long day.

As we reached the front door, I asked the maid to join her in the horse drawn sedan, as the male servant drove. I rode on a horse along side.

I greeted some of the civilians on the way and did some small talk as we passed by the grocery stalls and shops for knick knacks. A few that have known me since I was child, asked about my wellbeing and I also asked about their families and how everyone was doing. The frequent stops made the journey to the tea house much longer than necessary and I wondered if Miss Lau felt bored. When we finally arrived, I asked the manager, Mr. Shu for the table that I know that mom had already arranged for us.

"Yes, General and guests, please come this way. Your mother had sent word to us yesterday to reserve the Ivory Room for you this afternoon," he said.

To make sure she was okay, I gestured for Miss Lau to walk in front of me and to follow Mr. Shu as he brought us upstairs to the third floor to the Ivory Room. I didn't mean to but since she was in front of me I looked up and noticed her back side as she ascended the stairs. I quickly looked away. Damn it, mom! I cursed internally. I looked out the window all the way up the stairs after that, secretly hoping that the cool wind blowing in, would turn my color back to normal before we sat down.

I breathed a bit deeper to banish the sight from my mind. But damn, her bottom really is round!

STOP IT! I pinched my thigh as to hope the pain will stop these thoughts. A gentleman is not to have these impure thoughts, I internally reprimanded myself.

"Here we are General," Mr. Shu said. Finally pulling me away from those devilish thoughts.

I looked around in the room, I knew mom would choose this room because it was also her favorite. It was a corner room and it had windows that lined the walls, opening up to the most wonderful view of the city and the road back to the Capital. The rolling hills, with its lush green grass served as the backdrop, the northern side of the city as its main attraction.

As it was Spring, trees lining the street were all in bloom. The voices of hawkers, street cleaners and customers were ever present as they greeted, negotiated and haggled for goods. It was a life I had become so accustomed to, that I didn't notice it much anymore. But somehow today, seeing it from this point of view, it brought about a kind of familiarity and peace.

I sat down across from Miss Lau and waited until the maid poured our teas, "Please partake and order anything that you would like," as I gestured at the tea and pointed at the handwritten menus.

"I am not picky, you can choose General." Her voice was almost inaudible, compared to the noise down below.

"Do you like it here? Would you like to change rooms?" I asked her.

"No this is fine," was all she said before her head once again hung as low as possible.

Gosh I am always just staring at the top of her head. I haven't even had a chance to really even see the color of her eyes. Still I must continue to try. Let's try another topic.

"So Miss Lau, what do you want to do today? Is there anything in particular that you would like to see?"

"No." Was her response and not even raising her head this time. Oh, this is really going to be a long day.

Giving up for now, I called the waiter and ordered some light dishes as I suspect she was not into heavy spices or rich sauces.

I just stared out the window after that, as I didn't know what else to say to her.

I stared at those mountains and the road back to the Capital. It was lush and green now but not long ago it was covered in snow. In the winter the snow covered mountains would make it hard to traverse, and hardly anyone would travel there but during Spring it was lush green and traveling to the Capital was much easier. But also because of the ease of travel, it was also the time when bandits were most rampant. I must prepare well for escorting the BeiGao envoy, I must not let anything go wrong on this trip into the Capital. I was compiling a list of things to prepare when my thoughts were interrupted by the server bringing in our food.

I turned to look and I finally noticed that Miss Lau had finally raised her head and was staring dreamily at the scenery outside. She seemed so deep in thought that she didn't even hear the waiter enter. There was a sadness in her eyes that seemed like longing.

I wanted to know what was on her mind.

"The scene is beautiful, isn't it?" I asked.

"Though it is beautiful, it is forever fleeting and cannot be controlled." she said subconsciously.

I was astonished, it was the first time she had said anything other than simple answers to my questions.

She continued in her dreamy state, "I wish that time can stop at the happiest times and life can be bright. But life inevitably moves on, and over time the bright light is tainted with darkness, sometimes completely taking over."

"Miss Lau, what has you in such a state, please tell me and if I can help, I will." I said with concern.

That brought her out of her dreamy state and the realization of what she had been saying, was shown on her face, it was horror and embarrassment all wrapped up in one look.

"I am so sorry, General, I have said too much."

Trying to comfort her, "No, this was the best conversation we have had since we met. Please do not go back to how you were. Be yourself, there really is no need for formality." I said with a big smile.

"General, you are too kind. Thank you for excusing my indiscretions. But it was not appropriate of me to voice those thoughts." she said as she raised her head and finally I was able to see those eyes.

They are a light hazel brown, clear and watery to a point where you can feel if she cried, the heavens would also open up and cry with her.

A slight smile graced her face, but the sadness in her eyes still lingered. I wanted to know what had her so distraught, I just wanted to protect her from everything.

Trying to calm my heart, because I know it was not my business and I had no right to intrude in her matters. So I asked her to partake in the food that was already set before us, to change the subject.

We ate in silence for awhile and it was not the same awkward silence from before, in just a small exchange, it had all changed.

"Miss Lau, please try this fish, I believe you will like it." I scooped up a bit and waited for her to receive it with her bowl.

As she moved her bowl forward, I noticed how long and delicate her hands were.

"Thank you General, please just call me PuiHa."

"Okay, please try it, PuiHa." I said it as if I was testing the taste of the sound on my lips. It was surprisingly pleasant.

I smiled uncontrollably while saying, "Then please also stop calling me General, just DongAn will do."

She smiled back and it seems like we have finally taken the big step forward.

After we ate. We sat and had tea, and the conversation started to flow easily. Though most of her answers were still short, I got to know a bit more about her hobbies and that this was the first trip from her home. I can guess the reason that she was brought along this time. It was the parents wanting to make a match.

But her previous statement still bothered me. Maybe she doesn't want to be here or maybe there was already someone she liked back home? It was troubling me so much that I could not help but ask her. "PuiHa, I know this is very forward of me, but from your previous statement it seems like something was bothering you, is it something I can help with?"

"Oh, that," she turned deep red and she looked away.

Feeling embarrassed that I brought that up, I quickly said, "I am sorry, please don't be like this. I'll retract my question. Let's just talk about something else."

After a moment of silence, she said, "It is not that I can not say, maybe actually telling you, I would feel better."

"Only if you feel comfortable, no need to push yourself." I reassured her.

"The thing is, I know the purpose my parents have brought me with them this time. But I am afraid that I am unworthy of you."

"What do you mean?" I was curious.

"The truth is…" tears started streaming from her eyes.

"Please don't say anymore, I would never force you to say anything that would make you this uncomfortable, please forget that I asked." I wanted to reach out to hold her but I held it in, as I knew it was not appropriate.

"I,I …" she was really struggling to get the words out.

Trying to end her pain and internally yelling at myself for bringing it up, "Don't say it! No matter what it is, I am sure it can be resolved and when you feel like you want to tell me, I will gladly listen. I will wait until you are ready. How about you dry those tears and let me be a good host and bring you to see the sights?"

Trying to stop crying, it took awhile but she finally composed herself and said, "Okay." She excused herself after that and the maid followed her to the lavatories to freshen up.

A moment later she returned with a smile.

At this moment I am just content to see her smile again even though it didn't reach her eyes. I thought maybe someday I can help her truly smile, I can wait.