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Elder Blood Witcher

Most people who die and are confronted with a godlike being like to take the easy route... Not this guy. I have been sitting on this concept for a while and want to see if I can write it, starting with the Witcher then the game Absolver and then onto Darksouls 1. Don't rely on there being consistent updates because its unlikely... If you want to support my work or tip me enough to buy a drink please go here >https://www.p.atreon.com/Nagross Also, if you wanna join my Discord, here's the link : https://discord.gg/mG4vG5SUbF My next work, a Fallout Newvegas Fanfic : https://www.webnovel.com/book/steel-waste_18419577106748205 I don't own the cover art and have no idea who does, so don't sue me I guess? I also don't own, the Witcher, Absolver, DarkSouls or any other games, anime, books or movies written about.

Niggross · ゲーム
レビュー数が足りません
906 Chs

Outdoor Toys?

In the centre of Diagon Alley Reima is uncomfortable dragged through the bustling crowd by his companion, Ciri. The letter had included things they'll need to bring for the trip, either they had to rent out a tent already at the scene or they would have to buy one... Unfortunately it seems the the ones present were already rented out to somebody else, resulting in the current situation.

Ciri "Come on, it starts tomorrow, we need to be prepared." she says as she pulls him by his hand.

Reima "There's not rush, calm down..."

Ciri "What if we can't find one!" she says, her eyes darting left to right, looking for a store that sells tents.

Reima huffs, "Then we'll just teleport back home when we need to." this causes her to slow down slightly, she pouts as she looks back at him. "Look, if I have to go along with this to appease the minister then I'll enjoy myself during the off-time." she states, Reima remembers the arguements he had used to try and persuade her to go... These included but are not exclusive to, Campfire's, Smores, Interesting sights, Fairground-like activities and watching people unironically wear ridiculous clothing. That doesn't even touch on the worst part of trying to persuade her, as she was extremely wary of wearing her sword Reima offered to play Monopoly... If she wins, he'll wear his sword alongside her, if he had won she'd have to go regardless. For some reaoson however, he's completely trash at every single board game he plays, Gwent, Battleships, Monopoly, Cards. Everything, this resulted in him losing to Ciri who was playing for the first time. As a gentleman he couldn't back out and reluctantly agreed to wear his sword alongside her, he comforted himself with the fact that their story has them coming from the same place, as such, having similar customs and weapons wouldn't be out of the ordinary.

They spot a store called "Pitching a Tent for the Lady"... Reima shakes his head at such stupid name but is dragged towards the store by Ciri who disregards his increasingly dramatic refusal to enter the store. As he's pulled into the store the duo are immediately shocked silent by what they see, black leather BDSM suits for men and women are scattered throughout the store. Many life-like toys for a woman's enjoyment are almost overflowing from a shelf nearby, Ciri curiously looks around and picks up a big red one and droops in her hand. "What do you think this is?" she asks Reima. Turning his head to the side he mutters, "Just put it down, this deffinitely isn't the store we need..."

She looks at him confused at his weird attitude and strokes the red thing in her hand, it stiffens and starts moving on it's own causing her to drop it in surprise... It turns blue as it hits the floor and a huge black shop assistant walks over an scolds her for damaging the merchandise. "Ma'am, please try not to give our products "Blue-balls", it affects their performance." he says in an incredibly low voice.

Reima "Sorry, we were just leaving." he says as he puts his foot down, finally having enough of Ciri's curiosity.

Outside Ciri pulls her hand out of his grasp and complains, "That store was interesting, what's wrong?"

Reima looks her in the eye and says, "That "Store" is a sex shop that sells stuff for couples to use in bed... Of course, you don't have to be a couple to use them, I used to know quite a few women who... Enjoyed using those kinds of things." he says, delighting in how red her face was getting.

Ciri "So, I just, that thing?"

Reima nods "A large red dildo. Man, I thought you'd realise what it was when white stuff started leaking out the end of it."

Ciri "It what!?!"

Unfortunately for the duo, neither noticed a blue water beetle watching them from afar...

Eventually they managed to find a place that sold tents, Ciri had assumed that they were regular tents with nothing special about them. The shock on her face when they were being shown the various sizes of tents available was readily apparent, "This tent has four bedrooms, a kitchen and living area. It also includes a self assembly rune cluster that can be turned off if and when you're in a muggle area." the man says to him, Reima nods and asks "What about protection? I would hate for it to, go up in flames, as the saying goes." he says thinking about whether or not it'd be a waste of money to buy an expensive tent that would only be burned to the ground once those death eaters attacked.

He looks at Reima strangely and replies, "This one reacts to fire like another other tent, however, we do have a fire resistant selection that is generally used by adventurers hunting dangerous creatures." he says as he walks to a couple grey tents that look almost scaled? "These are designed to protect against most things, even the breath of a Nundo wouldn't breach this ones defences."

Ciri "Er, Nundo?" she asks confused.

Reima shrugs, "The cat-like creature who's breath can apparently wipe out entire villages." He isn't really sure what to do when a hungry look appears in her eyes... Surely she can't be thinking of hunting one? He shakes his head, "I'll take it, don't tell me how much it costs or I might have a heart attack. Just direct it to vault 2020 in Gringotts, he says as he dips his finger in some ink and presses it on some parchment. Usually you'd have a special card or just sign something in your blood but this isn't possible for Reima due to his bloods unique problem...

Idk about you guys, but I can imagine many, many... Many different ways to utilise magic for "Sex Toys", maybe J. K. Rowling was too embarressed to mention it. Or maybe the wizarding world are all prudes?

If you like my content, please go to https://www.p.atreon.com/Nagross, I'd appreciate it.

As always, if I missed anything please let me know.

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