Biggest Whore On The Planet (part 1)
Sorry guys, I was sure I was gonna have her in my bed last night but I guess she's special so catch you guys later in this episode...
Lucifer: and then I woke up
Lucinda: what!!
Lucifer: I mean it's not a dream am used to, it had a lot less nudity if am being honest
Lucinda: right, so you're saying I saw your body or face and I exploded💥 into flames, what!...
Lucifer: yes, I assumed you were death struck when you saw me naked in my nightmare, you couldn't handle all my big angelic beauty
Lucinda: what!! and no but for what it's worth I suggest you stay 11billion feet away from me just to make sure I don't explode around you as you saw in your dream ok
Lucifer: your right, I mean I don't need you in pieces for our bang along otherwise what part of your body am I gonna fuck.
Lucinda: ohk there is definitely not gonna be any fucking
Lucifer: we'll then partner what's on the big News today
Lucinda: we'll there's nothing yet cause we have to go out for the News and there's only one person that call's me partner and apparently he's running late today...
(Fast forward to Noah's household)
Noah Maximoff: oh no am late⏰ , gotta clean, wash up, make breakfast oh
Naomi Maximoff: don't bother, I already did them
Noah: what😥
Naomi: yhh apparently I don't matter that much for you to even feed me around here
Noah: what!!, that's not true, I had a rough night last night and you I had work too...
Naomi: yhh right, any how I got places to be things to do...
Noah: now little sis...
Naomi: don't ever call me your sis, we're not family, am you're step sister and nothing more ok
Noah: what...sis...huh, I gotta, I gotta get to work
(Back at The Daily News corporation)
Lucinda: ok so todays anchor is, illegal activity going on at a very popular nightclub or strip club down town, Strickler Joehanson is the name of our guy and we need to investigate him out at...
Lucifer: oh sorry my iPhone📱20
is ringing I gotta take this hold on
Lucinda: iPhone 20...what the...
Lucifer: what is it Mazakine...
Mazakine: yhh we may have a problem
Lucifer: what!! what do mean
Mazakine: 3 things, got a mortal here who was trying to steal some of your most priced possessions and...
Lucifer: my dick enhancer 2000 device
Mazakine: what no, you're writing's or books or what ever
Lucifer: oh that's equally important too
Mazakin: and I might be horny right about now...
Lucifer: why is that part of the list
Mazakine: I don't really know I just wanted to say that...
Lucifer: and how do you know so much about what horny even is...
Mazakin: I honestly thought it was an organic kind of food from Marvel's Ant-man🐜 and The Wasps🐝...
Lucifer: that's even a movie...
Mazakine: right🤔, and we may have an outer space 🪐 visitor
Lucifer: really who...
Mazakin: can't say...
Lucifer: ok then, find out everything and also try to learn as much as you can from the human's ok, you know what, as a matter of fact, there's a strip club down town, why don't you urh hop on over there and send me deeds on a guy called Strickler...
Mazakine: on it Luci...(ends call)
Lucifer: what, Luci...
Lucinda: are you done yet Mr. Play Boi...
Lucifer: yes actually and um I believe we have News to investigate...
Lucinda: yhh, and don't try to get in my way ohk...
Lucifer: no promises😁
...2 hours Later...
Lucinda: ohk we're here, try to blend in as possible, ohk
Lucifer: your wish is my command...
(as they both enter the Clubhouse a line of messages run down Lucifer's phone containing all the info on Strickler)
Lucinda: who was that???
Lucifer: oh nothing just my nut sack massage therapist😁
Lucinda: what???? You have...you no what, I cannot handle, your weirdness right now...
(which actually wasn't a lie Lucifer does have a massage therapist for that and others)
Narrator: they both enter and finally get entangled with a sworm of people dancing and drinking their hearts💕 out, Lucinda barely makes her way to the bar counter guy while Lucifer is already mixed up with them dancing and drinking with the hot🔥 ladies there...
Lucinda: huh what ever, hey hi um Lucinda and I was wondering if you know Mr. Strickler Joehanson by any chance
Bartender: yhh he's our boss, he runs this joint...am Benjamin
Lucinda: cool, do you know where he is maybe...
Bartender: he's inside his office right now but you can't go in because he's not receiving any visitors right now
Lucinda: oh is that so...
Bartender: yhh he mostly sees big important clients
Lucinda: oh ok well I have a very important client here to meet him and so if you don't mind letting him know that...
Bartender: oh really who??
Lucinda: ( she looks over at Lucifer) um Mr. Lucifer MorningStar do you know him
Bartender: no way really, I'll tell him now...
Lucinda: yes thank you 🙏 , Lucifer what are you doing, getting drunk with these people
Lucifer: I thought you said I should blend in
Lucinda: yhh not blend in so we'll that it makes you look immature, come on I need your help here
Lucifer: ohk miss holy...
Lucinda: huh...ohk now act cool, I need you to lie about having a business proposal for Mr. Strickler got it
Lucifer: impossible miss holy
Lucinda: what why???
Lucifer: am the devil and I don't lie...
Lucinda: what this is no time for your jokes or puns right now
Lucifer: we'll it's true and I can't help you...
Lucinda: ohk fine, pretend then...that's not lying right...
Lucifer: How about I do you one better...
Bartender: ohk hes ready to see you guys now
Lucinda: ohk thank you
Lucifer: Mr. Strickler how lovely to see you again...
Mr. Strickler: what a pleasure Mr. MorningStar
and who's this??
Lucifer: oh don't worry she's my partner, um Stricklander can I call you that?
Mr. Strickler: of course Mr. MorningStar tell me what can I do for you
Lucifer: we'll I just wanted to ask you some questions...
Mr. Strickler: what kind of questions?
Lucifer: just some rumors that I have been hearing lately...
Mr. Strickler: oh ya what rumors??
Lucifer: so um Stricklander there have been rumors that you deal in embezzlement or robbing rich business people of their money and companies for your own personal gain and leaving a trail of dead people alone the way too
Mr. Strickler: what!! that's not true I would never do such a thing to my clients
Lucifer: oh really then can you explain why your clients disappear 🫥 after meeting you
Mr. Strickler: they just couldn't handle the mind of an old business expert such as myself and so they bailed on me.
Lucifer: oh is that so...then can you explain...
Mr. Strickler: what is this, some interrogation or interview, I think you're overdue you're stay here, I suggest you leave, now!!!😡 Security!!!!!👨🏿✈️🧑🏼✈️
Lucinda: thank you very much for your time sir will be on our way...
Lucifer: we'll that could have gone worse right?
Lucifer: Mazakine!!! What are you doing here
Mazakin: I thought you said to learn everything about human's
Lucifer: yh but not here
Mazakin: too late, it's been a long 2 hours here
Lucifer: what you've been here for only 2 hours
Mazakin: yup and I gotta say best 2 hours of my demon life, did you know who a cash-sexual is
Lucifer: what no
Mazakin: me neither apparently a human that gets attracted to other humans that have 💸money💵 so cool right...
Lucifer: 🤨aha...
Mazakine: anyways what are you doing here with this human chick
Lucinda: am sorry who is this Lucifer
Lucifer: my demon huntress, meet Mazakine Mazakine meet Lucinda.
Mazakine: oh I see why you hang around her so much these days...
Lucinda: yhh right um we gotta go, nice meeting you...
Lucifer: see you back at Lux Co Mazakine
Mazakine: yhh right, now where was I.
(Back at Daily News cooperation)
Lucinda: how did you know so much about him and the kind of questions I would have asked him like that when you barely know the guy???
Lucifer: we'll I certainly do have a few skills up my sleeves
Lucinda: wow am not gonna lie, you were amazing back there even after all your antics...
Lucifer: oh whats that...😲
Lucinda: what...😟
Lucifer: did someone just admit to being wrong about me not being super helpful today😏...
Lucinda: right... dream on, right, now we just have to be there when he makes a mistake and 💥bam💥 we have our News 📰
Lucifer: ohk cool then
(Noah approach's them)
Noah: hey guys so sorry, I was late today and I had some problems at home with my sister and...
Lucinda: don't worry about that it's all good here...
Noah: ohk so what do we have here then
Lucinda: we'll we've got Mr. Strickler some how and may have given him run for his money 💴 and...
(As Lucinda explains everything to Noah, Lucifer spot's something or rather someone he hasn't seen in a long time outside of the 7th floor balcony of the company, he had thruster's as features and as bright as the morning sun with Silver cuffs on both his hands and leg's and that's when Lucifer realized it was...)
Lucifer: hey brother
Amenadiel: 👋 Hi Samael or Luci now...
Lucifer: why is everyone calling me Luci today, first Mazakine now you
Amenadiel: go back to 🔥Hell🔥 Lucifer
Lucifer: am afraid that can't quite be done brother
Amenadiel: and why's that...
Lucifer: well you see I have out grown my stay in 🔥Hell🔥
Amenadiel: is that so
Lucifer: why yes actually, so if you can be a good little brother and run along now that would be 👍great...
Amenadiel: Am afraid I can't do that Lucifer, God sent me here to fulfill a purpose and that's just what am here to do
Lucifer: yhh, right...
To be continued...