Heavy Hearts

Pierre wanted to punch himself when he saw how Julie practically ran away from him. He threw himself onto the bed in his apartment and looked up to the ceiling.

It wasn't the plan to confess now but when she told him how important he is for her, something inside him snapped and he finally needed to tell her the truth.

Especially after she called him a friend. He couldn't stand it anymore. Only being a friend was not enough for him. Julie was his world and his biggest wish was to be the same to her.

In a way he was relieved that he finally got it off his chest but after seeing Julie's reaction Pierre had little hope that she would accept him.

It was too early to confess and now he was afraid that he scared her away. What if he ruined everything now? Pierre became extremely unsettled at this thought.

Maybe he should call Lucas and asked him for advice. On the other hand, it was his idea to confess his feelings as soon as possible and now look were it got him. Pierre decided against calling him. Now he can't do anything except wait for her response anyway.

How should he face Julie now? After his confession there will be no way back to the things how they were. This can just lead to two different scenarios. Either Julie accepts him or she rejects him and their friendship will be ruined because after what he said they can't go back to watching TV and eating pizza together like nothing happened.

Pierre felt anxious at the thought of not seeing Julie anymore. Not having her around him would be horrible.

There has to be a way of convincing her to give this relationship a shot. Just one chance was what he needed.

He knows that he is not a bad catch. He is a good looking man with a respectable body. He works out three times a week and pays attention to the way he dresses.

Other than that, he might not be super rich but he makes a good amount of money with his job. He was sure that it is enough to fulfill Julie's every wish.

Not that she needed a lot. She was modest and thinks about other people first. That was one of the many things he loved about her.

Pierre was out of ideas. He knows the way to her heart isn't money. Julie is not that shallow. But he also didn't know what else it was. He understood that she is looking for real love and he was sure that he can offer that. After all, he is head over heels for her. But sadly, he didn't know how to turn this into a mutual feeling.

What makes a woman like Julie fall in love with a man? He was desperate to have an answer to that.

'What was so great about that guy she dated?' He thought. Pierre knew nothing about him, so there was no way in finding out. But it still bothered him that Julie showed so much interest in another man. She even wanted to cancel all of their evenings of TV and food delivery to spend time with him.

Pierre rubbed his face with his hands. He knows the best think to do now is giving her space to think about it but the fact that he has to stay away from her made him crazy.

…

It was Monday and Julie came back from work. She tutored a few school kids in English today and it was exhausting because she couldn't focus.

She cooked herself pasta with a self made tomato sauce and then sat down in front of the TV to eat her food.

What happened yesterday with Pierre lingered the entire day on her mind and now that she was alone, she couldn't help but replay yesterday's events over and over again in her head.

She still couldn't believe that she was unable to see Pierre's feelings because now that she thinks about it, it was quite obvious.

Julie remembered Saturday when Pierre beat up that guy who harassed her. At first, she thought that he would have reacted the same way if it happened to Jade or Camille. But now that she thinks about it, she had to reconsider.

She never saw him that angry and it was clear that if he could he would have beaten that guy into a pulp. He acted more like an overprotective boyfriend than a friend who looks out for his female friends.

Julie also couldn't believe that she never noticed how Pierre would always try to stick close to her. He didn't show much interested in other woman when they went to clubs and he also didn't go on dates since she knows him.

Pierre has always tried to be helpful since she moved into her apartment and Julie chided herself for how stupid she is to think that it was just him being nice.

Of course he hoped that he would get something in return. Julie can see that now.

The problem is just that what he wants is impossible for Julie to give.

Julie is not in love with him nor can she imagine to fall in love in the future. She sees him as a good friend and nothing more.

Julie felt herself being in a dilemma. She doesn't want to lose Pierre but keeping him in the friend zone as long as he still has feelings for her was cruel.

She had no choice but to keep her distance from him at least until he moved on. Maybe if he gets over her they can be friends again.

Julie was not looking forward to talking to Pierre. She doesn't want to hurt his feelings. Seeing the pain and desperation in his eyes after he kissed her was already weighting on Julie and she doesn't want to see his reaction when she rejects him.

After she was done eating she put the plate into the sink and than wrapped herself in a blanket in front of the TV.

Julie decided not to tell him today. She knows she shouldn't procrastinate this but to be honest she was a coward. She couldn't bear to see the disappointment on his face.

It was always hard for Julie to reject people but she was never that close to anyone she had to reject. In the past, whenever she was dating, she told those men that it wouldn't work out as soon as she came to this conclusion.

It was uncomfortable but at least there were no feelings involved yet. But this situation is different. She never had to break a man's heart and she hated this position she found herself in.

She told herself that she will talk to him tomorrow.

…

Tomorrow turned into four days and Julie managed to avoid Pierre for the whole week. She can't bring herself to go over to his apartment and break his heart.

She knows it's unfair to him and even cruel to let him wait that long but Julie was too afraid of his reaction.

She hoped that he would understand that her silence means that she has to reject him.

It was Friday evening. Julie should be out having fun but instead she was alone in her apartment. Usually, she would do something with Pierre but that was not an option now.

She has to admit that she misses having him around during the last few days. She was used to him coming over for dinner but now she was always eating alone.

Pierre became such a significant part in her life in only a short period of time and Julie can't imagine not seeing him anymore.

Especially when he lived opposite from her which was inconvenient. It would be better if they could keep a distance from each other at least for a while.

Julie wouldn't want to see the person who rejected her all the time and she figured that Pierre would likely feel the same.

Would moving out be exaggerated? It would definitely solve the problem of running into each other on accident.

Julie tiptoed around him for the whole week. Before she left her apartment, she always made sure that he wasn't in the hall way. It would have been embarrassing to run into him. But she knows it can't go on like this forever.

Julie was startled when she heard light knocks on the door and she already guessed who it was.

When she opened the door, she was met with Pierre's sad eyes that she was so desperate to avoid. She knew why he came and now that he was in front of her, she couldn't run away anymore. Not that she wanted to. This situation was weighing on her for days now and she wanted to be done with this and get it off her shoulders.

"Hey Julie, can we talk?" Pierre asked in a small voice.

"Sure, come in," Julie offered him. Together they sat down on her sofa both obviously nervous.

Julie felt her heart pounding. She hoped it will not be as bad as she imagines it. Hurting him is going to hurt her as well because Julie was sensitive to other people's emotions and Pierre was important to her.

Pierre was aware that her silence and the fact that she avoided him for days most likely means that she is going to reject him and it hurt him like hell. But he didn't want to let go of her without one last fight.

If she still doesn't want him after what he has to say he will have to give up. That's why he was set on going all in.