Ramiel groaned unexpectedly. He overdone it yesterday, and today, he felt the negative effects. A throbbing pain radiated from his temples to the rest of his battered body.
The monster he faced was the most dangerous enemy he had ever fought. The murderer's hangover was merciless and punished those who knew no restraint. In the face of his judgment, everyone was equal. Even Nenneke, shrouded in legends, didn't stand the slightest chance when the silent murderer sent a radiant and enticing smile in her direction.
Ramiel's mind replayed the exciting and chaotic scenes of the night spent in Caera's embrace.
A brilliant thought ran through his head, which caused an ugly grimace on his lips.
What if it was all just a simple dream and a figment of my imagination? - Ramiel feared such a possibility. He enjoyed last night's fun and overstepped certain boundaries. Part of his sadistic nature even begged him on his knees to repeat it.
Ramiel accepted this part of himself and was fine with it. After all, restricting one's nature never ends well.
His fears passed with the wind, along with the warmth resulting from the close contact of two naked bodies.
The woman lying on top of him moved nervously, then wrapped her slender arms around his well-built chest. Long and well-built legs didn't remain indebted; they entangled between the hunter's limbs.
Ramiel felt someone's head sticking to his shoulder and strands of silky hair subtly caressing the skin on his arms.
His heart pumped faster as he felt the pull of the woman on top of him.
Once again, his senses and primal instincts were put to an excruciating test. On one hand, they were tempted by the sweet promise of passionate moments and Caera's wild moans. On the other hand, a killer headache gave Ramiel a killer smile.
' Come on ... '
' What's wrong with you?'
' It will be fun... '
' You won't even notice when you lose consciousness... '
Ramiel could put his head on the line that there was an unpleasant visitor in the morning behind the whispers after every gussied-up party.
His eyelids remained closed all the time. He didn't want to risk a sudden collision with the light emitted by the mana in the cave. Even a simple visualization in his mind made him more dizzy, increasing the throbbing pain. 1
Maybe a short swim in the lake would help me...
The idea seemed brilliant in its simplicity. However, as is often the case in life, something is easier said than done. To get up, Ramiel first had to negate the negative effects of the intoxicating night. Only one thing came to his mind.
Mana is the solution to everything!
If you can't do something, learn to manipulate mana, and most of your worries will fall into oblivion.
A small sigh escaped Ramiel's lips. His thoughts revolved, almost intuitively, around the invisible particles that should be circulating in his body. He wanted to direct them to the brain to temporarily affect the area responsible for registering pain.
Everything went very well, even perfectly... but at some point, a very important detail that he had overlooked reached Ramiel's mind. He didn't feel the slightest bit of mana within him. The feeling of manipulating mystical energy was just a figment of his imagination.
" What the ... "
Ramiel was frightened beyond belief. After all, mana was an integral part of his life. Without it, he was no different from a poor and ordinary man.
His pupils narrowed, reacting to the sudden and blinding flash, the warm light of the sunrise.
" The sun? But... but how? "
If Ramiel had been surprised before... then now he was confused. However, the real surprise was yet to come.
The ceiling, which he studied carefully, seemed strangely familiar to him. Additionally, it wasn't lying on The Dead Gnu's hard and rough skin, but on a warm and soft bed... on his bed...
It took him a long moment to connect the facts and clues. The sudden realization hit him with even greater force than the tsunami crashing into the shore waves.
Ramiel's head tilted to the side, and the good mood that had accompanied him since the morning burst like a soap bubble.
He considered all the pros and cons of the thoughts that were swirling around his head. By this time, his fingertips had turned snow-white, tinged with faint drops of thick blood.
On his shoulder lay none other than the person Ramiel hated most in the world.
This is a fucking joke," Ramiel summed up in his mind.
Samantha corrected her position, muttering under her breath. The familiar scent of the man she secretly longed for caressed her nose and brought a sincere smile to her full lips. Her mind drifted into shared memories, and then her fingertips brushed the man's skin, drawing small, lovely circles.
Samantha tried to be as gentle as she could. Her actions and her fears had a simple basis. She was afraid that closer contact might interrupt the lovely dream.
She didn't want it to end. She regretted what she had done but couldn't go back in time... no one could.
Ramiel's first reflex was understandable. He desired to tear the woman apart. Slowly skin her, then heal her, and repeat the process several times. If he got bored, he had prepared many other ideas in store. Slow quartering, endless acid baths, tearing off individual muscles, tendons, and nerves...
But something inside him snapped when he saw the sincere and radiant smile adorning the naked woman's face. A wave of conflicting feelings flooded his heart, causing his soul to tremble.
Ramiel couldn't understand his own feelings, let alone the state he was in.
The Dantean scenes from the dead dungeon were still vivid in his mind... bringing with them unimaginable pain and suffering. They reminded him of his betrayal...
However, Ramiel felt powerless. Some part of his soul successfully prevented him from harming the sleeping princess. Once again, the desire to protect her at all costs resurfaced, and negative emotions fell into oblivion.
The heart, beat joyfully, sensing the presence of a trace of the presence of the person it longed for... and at the same time, it drove the sharp thorns deeper, tearing apart the most important organ of man.
Ramiel scolded himself for the feelings he can't get rid of... Despite everything, a faint sliver of his consciousness, he didn't want to get rid of them.
What the fuck I'm doing...
Ramiel's raised hand fell helplessly, stroking Samantha's silky hair. His lower lip trembled uncontrollably, and his eyes became glassy. One of his favorite activities filled him with happiness while bringing him to the brink of tears.
It's sad how our favorite things can cause us so much pain and suffering. Ramiel found this out all too well. Without firmly, he banged his head against the back of the bed, and a few solitary tears began a short but exciting journey along his cheek.
" Why... "
" Hmm? " A quiet whisper and a sudden movement sent Samantha into a stupor. Not so, she remembered their moments together. Ramiel's words didn't match the usual dream that haunted her from time to time.
Yes, there were occasional minor deviations from the norm, but not that drastic.
" Ram? " Samantha propped herself up on her elbows, pulling away from the natural heater providing her daily dose of dopamine. Lush and, therefore, long strands of hair fell freely over her shoulders, hiding her exposed back.
Samantha's attention was immediately drawn to Ramiel's eyes, which infuriated her. Present, they were decidedly different from the ones she remembered. The biggest difference was the impenetrable abyss, dripping with chilling cold.
The woman nowhere could find a trace of happy and amused irises. Not to mention the look her partner usually gave her.
Instead, Samantha saw a series of conflicting and complicated emotions. The pain was mixed with joy, sorrow was accompanied by happiness, and absurd hatred went hand in hand with never-fading love.
Ramiel, lying in front of her, seemed familiar, but at the same time, so much stranger. He was still himself at his best... but something had changed about him. In part, Samantha saw in him the brute who haunted her in nightmares.
After an awkward silence that seemed to last for ages, Samantha gathered her courage.
" Ram... Everything is... ".
The woman wasn't allowed to finish. She was interrupted by Ramiel's mournful scream, mixed with sobs on the verge of human senses.
" Shut up! Just don't speak ... please ... ".
Ramiel's actions contradicted his words. He pulled Samantha close to him before she had time to process what had just happened. For a moment, Ramiel's former partner found herself in a tender and warm embrace.
Ramiel desperately longed for the familiar affection that only Samantha could bestow upon him. Her small gestures, the way she snuggled into his chest, and the unique scent of her perfume reminded him of how he lost himself in Samantha.
The memory of the past hurt like hell, especially when he felt happy at the time… really happy...
Ramiel couldn't stand the feelings building up inside him, so he let them out in a sudden burst of crying.
Ramiel's actions sent Samantha into shock. Her mouth lifted subtly, refusing to accept the truth.
Her hand went to the back of her shaking lover, trying to comfort him somehow.
Over the years, Samantha had only seen Ramiel cry twice. She preferred not to remember the first, and the second took place just now. Even though it was only a dream, Samantha felt as if she was sitting across from a real person.
" Why... Why can't you leave me alone... Do - do I ask for so much? "
Samantha remained silent, waiting for further developments. The sight of a broken Ramiel hurt. The woman wanted to comfort him... but she didn't know if she had the right to do so, not after what she had done to him.
Suddenly, an image of Ramiel's pathetic and confused figure appeared in her mind.
" You know - You know what the worst thing is? "
Sniff... Ramiel pulled his nose, gathering himself together.
Samantha didn't wait for Ramiel to finish. Her head immediately plunged into her lover's neck. Her hot breath brushed his exposed neck, bringing a sad smile to the man's lips.
" Even after all you have done to me ... even after you have hurt me ... ". - Ramiel's voice was breaking. His bloodshot eyes stared dully at a dead spot in the distance.
" I ... I still love you, Sam ... ".
Ramiel's words wrapped a warm and thick blanket around the woman's heart. Although she didn't deserve it, Samantha felt happy.
Maybe... maybe all isn't lost.
" But I can't forgive you ... No matter how long I think about it ... I can't ... ".
" I'm sorry, Sam... " - A quiet sigh left Ramiel's lips.
Along with it, Samantha's fragile hope shattered into hundreds of thousands of pieces, like a broken mirror.
Her lower lip dropped, and a small scream escaped her throat. For a split second, she wanted to beg Ramiel's forgiveness and right the wrong she had done to him. But the words were stuck in her throat. The narrow passage closed as soon as she tried to make a sound.
Regretfully, Samantha tenderly stroked Ramiel's cheek. The simple caress made her realize how much she missed him.
Ramiel looked furtively in her direction but didn't spurn Samantha's hot hand.
The two once close people sat across from each other silently.
Sigh... It was Ramiel who took the first step, making him hate himself even more. He couldn't bear the sight of Samantha anymore.
I lost my mind...
Samantha hesitantly accepted Ramiel's outstretched hand. She was afraid that any interference could awaken her from sleep.
" Tsk... how long do I have to wait? " - Ramiel grunted, turning his head in the other direction.
Samantha docilely leaned her back against his chest, as they were in the habit of doing often in the past. Ramiel didn't remain indebted. Despite his conflicting feelings, he embraced the woman, hiding his head in her hair which was soft as silk. It was hard for him to admit it, but a tiny part of his soul was happy. The unexpected development caused even more disgust for his own person.
The couple stuck like this indefinitely. Every second seemed like years, and minutes seemed like miles. They didn't need much to be happy, their presence was enough.
Ramiel wondered if he would ever reach that level with Asme and Caera... He, who truly loved Samantha, was ready to challenge God for her... and what did he get? He gained some new holes and lost a part of himself.
" Ram... " - Ramiel reflexively tensed his muscles, hearing the hated nickname. He associated it badly.
This wasn't lost on Samantha, especially when they were both naked. It only stressed the woman unnecessarily.
" I know I'm asking a lot ... but ... but. "
Samantha poked her fingers into Ramiel's exposed arm, which lay politely tucked under her elbow. The small gesture gave courage to the desperate woman.
" But? "
" But ... is there a shadow of a chance ... that you know ... it will come back someday? " - The last words turned into a barely audible whisper.
Ramiel made a complicated face, leaning his head against the edge of the bed. His amethyst eyes hid under the surface of heavy eyelids. Ramiel longed for nothing more than the return of carefree days on earth in Samantha's embrace... but he couldn't do it. He would never trust her a second time... he would never bare his back to her... and most importantly, he would never forgive her for what she had done... His trust is earned only once, and that isn't negotiable.
" After what you did? I'm sorry Sam... but I can't... "
The corners of Samantha's mouth dropped. Suddenly, the seemingly happy atmosphere turned heavy and depressing.
" You don't know what I went through and what I'm going through after your betrayal... ".
Ramiel drew the tiny and trembling body of the naked beauty closer to him.
" Even now... Ugh... forget about it... it doesn't matter anyway. You are just a reflection of the hidden desires in my dream. You will disappear in the morning, and I will again have to worry about how to survive another day... "
Ramiel had no idea how wrong he could be. After all, he and Samantha shared a dream together.
Before you lynch me. Ramiel isn't going back to Samantha or Samantha to him. Why did he react like that? You'll find out in the next chapter