Is this love?

[3rd POV]

She was different. She was always different from the others.

But she didn't know how scary that was until she turned 15 when she faced her first rejection. That day, she learned that to be different was to be not normal.

And to not be normal was to not fit in.

"I don't think this can work, you are just too strange. You have no softness or gentleness a lady should possess. You are like a gorilla. My hand hurts when you hold it." was what her first fiance said to her before cancelling the arranged engagement.

He said a lot, but maybe he wouldn't have said so much if he knew how much each word hurt her. Her heart bled behind a brittle smile and that was when she realized the deep sorrow that came with rejection.

He didn't want her.

But who could blame him? After all, men wanted a weak woman they could protect and provide for. They wanted a woman with a healing touch of love and care. They wanted a woman who was modest. They wanted a dignified noble lady.

All of which she was not.

She was a woman stronger than any man she had ever encountered. Her touch could crush rocks, they were not soft or healing. She was not modest, her generous bosoms and butt made her look like a shameless seductress. She was loud and ate a lot, the opposite of what a noble lady should be.

She was everything she shouldn't be and that made her sad.

Mitsuri had been intrigued by romance and love ever since she was little. She had read many books and listened to stories about love and romance. Her dream was to find love someday and become a wife.

She wanted to dedicate herself to a man she loved who would treasure her like the most precious jewel. She wanted to fall in love with a man who was stronger than her, someone who could protect her from anything in the world. That was the dream of her youthful self.

But as she got older, she learned that her fantasy would never come true, all because she was different. But that's okay, she told herself. She could still find love.

But alas she was apparently not fit for the love she was searching for.

From a young age, Mitsuri learned that love was the most important thing in the world. To love was to be human. It was the meaning behind everything in life. It could be love for an art, love for a concept or love for other people. She thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Yet even amongst all else, romantic love, the love between husband and wife was what she wanted the most. After all, familial love made sense, friendship also made sense.

But two strangers loving each other to the point of being able to sacrifice everything they had? Two unrelated people deciding to forever be together because they thought they couldn't live without the other person? That sounded so silly. It was illogical. It was beautiful and Mitsuri wanted it.

But..

"Mother, do you think I will ever be able to find a husband?" she asked after her fifth rejection.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sure you will meet a man one day who would love you just as you are. Like me and your father do." her mother assured her.

Misturi stayed silent as if accepting her mother's words but deep down, she didn't believe her.

So she decided to do everything she could to fit into the ideal lady. She started dyeing her hair black and wore unflattering clothes. She also started starving herself, both to weaken her body and to behave like a proper lady.

She changed herself to become a girl men would like. She was willing to kill her true self if it meant finding love.

It might sound stupid to others but it was not stupid for the future love Hashira. Everyone was born with a purpose, hers just happened to be love.

But even after she changed herself, she was still getting rejected. Her suitors were still able to see past her mask.

'Be normal. Fit in.' was what she told herself daily.

She was chasing the wrong thing in her youthful nativity. It was not love that she was pursuing, at most, it was merely approval.

Love was true. So even if she was accepted, it would only be a cheap imitation of love.

...

That day, Mitsuri had another guest. It was a new suitor, one that her father talked highly about. The boy was her age and according to her father, he was the perfect fit for her.

But there was one problem. They came to the house unannounced so Mitsuri had no time to dye her hair black or to change her clothes.

She had to hide in her room as she quickly changed her clothes and started smearing black paint on her bright hair. At one point she used to love her pink and green hair, they were happy and colourful but no suitors liked it. They didn't want a wife that stood out too much. They wanted a girl with the beauty of the moon, not the big bright sun.

But while she was busy dyeing her hair, the door to her room suddenly slid open and she was caught red-handed, or should she say black-handed?

There he was, her next suitor. One that would reject her soon enough with how things were going.

He was handsome, remarkably so. It was something she noticed immediately when she spied on him as they came to her house.

But at the moment, her mind did not even register that. Her eyes froze when they greeted his bright purple ones.

Those eyes saw everything.

Everyone felt uncomfortable when those eyes - which seemingly felt like they could see through every secret - fell upon them. It was especially severe for Mitusri who was full of secret insecurities.

She felt like all of her flaws were laid bare to him. She couldn't hide anything, her mask crumbled.

Fear started creeping up her heart. It was a fear that a criminal would experience if they were caught committing a crime.

"What are you doing?" he asked and she fliched back.

His voice was cold, he was mean. She supposed it was natural since she was trying to catfish him.

"I-I.." words got stuck in her throat. There was a clot of nervousness stopping them from coming out.

How could she possibly speak under the gaze of those eyes? They saw through everything. He had seen her true self.

"Hello. I'm your future husband and I want to know what you are doing." he said and walked close to her.

'Wait what?' her breath hitched. That was when she noticed that there was no repulsion in his eyes even though he had seen through her.

They were just really mean but there was nothing else. No disappointment, no repulsion.

There was no rejection.

"I was just....dyeing my hair." she said, the nervousness melting like ice in summer.

"But why would you do that?" he asked, "Your hair is pink and green, it's an exotic colour."

Then his lips curved ever so slightly, "It's beautiful."

What? Her hair was beautiful? That's the first time someone said that to her. Her cheeks couldn't help but burn for some reason.

Her heart started racing. It was racing due to fear and embarrassment. Her stomach was doing summersaults in her belly.

'Is this...love?' she thought to herself. What she was feeling was awfully similar to what she had read in the past.

Just then, her father and another man came to the scene. She looked at her father and saw his face fall as if realizing the situation. His expression showed that he thought they were done for.

"What is the meaning of this?" the man asked.

"Oh, nothing uncle. It's just that Mitusuri has something on her hair. It should be fine after she washes it off." the boy said and turned around.

"Sorry to disturb you, we will wait in the living room." the boy said before he pushed at the man and they both returned to the living room.

Mitsuri and her father watched them leave with wide eyes before they both looked at each other. They were both equally surprised as the anticipated rejection never came.

A realization struck them in the silence. Their guests were okay with Mitsuri's appearance.

Kenji smiled at his daughter, "Go clean your hair quickly and come to the living room." he said in excitement.

Mitsuri nodded and ran to the bathroom to clean her hair. After which she went to the living room to greet the guests and her suitor.

During all this, Mitsuri's heart just won't stop beating like an engine. Her cheeks blushed and her eyes sparkled.

Had she finally found someone who wouldn't reject her?

Would she find love this time?

.

.

.

[THE image]

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Author : It's really hard to capture her character. This is the same problem I faced with Shinobu. They are different from how we saw them in the anime as they had not gone through thier respective character development.

Tell me your thoughts while stoning me.