just Friends ll

-- FOURTH OF JULY, 2005 --

I pulled the Mustang into the long Atherton driveway and parked behind the two cars that had arrived before me. Quickly hopping out, I circled the car and rather theatrically opened the passenger door for Lynne, who was just now unbuckling her seatbelt after retrieving her purse. "We have arrived, Madam," I said in a mock serious voice, accompanied by a hideously bad English accent.

"Why thank you, Jeeves," Lynne replied in a much better English accent. She raised her hand to mine and let me elevate her up from the relatively low floor of the Mustang. And then sliding her arm around my waist, she let me lead her up the flagstone pavers to the large entryway.

"Wassup my nigga?" Kady greeted while flashing us pseudo-gang signs with each hand.

I frowned and pointed to her left hand. "Isn't that the Vulcan salute?"

She looked and then frowned, shaking her hand out and shrugging. "Whatever. Come on in my peeps."

From right beside her, Noelle sighed. "And this is Kady BEFORE she's had a single beer."

Lynne was already chuckling as we went inside.

Noelle then turned back to look at us, saying, "So Kady was telling me that you'd invited some friends to the barbecue, Ben?"

I nodded. "Uh, just a few. My sister and her best friend are coming down. And Bert is my buddy from Cal."

Noelle made a face. "Ugh, did your sister go to Cal as well?"

"Well, yeah."

Kady turned around, frowning and raising her arms with both thumbs pointed down. "Boo! Bears suck!"

"Bert's a nice guy," Lynne offered before putting on another accent. "Pecan pie..."

"You remember that?" I marveled.

Lynne just giggled. "Still the only man to ever quote 'When Harry Met Sally' to me. Gawd I love that movie. And Bert is really cute."

"And Brandi is a lot like Brooke, so I'm sure you'll get along just fine," I explained to Kady with a shit-eating grin.

That got the redhead's attention. "Hmm ... like Brooke you say..." she mused before looking over at her girlfriend. "Uh, you guys didn't hear me say that." Without another word, Kady jogged off into the backyard to check on Uncle Frank and the barbecue.

Noelle just rolled her eyes and waved after her girlfriend. "What can I say? She makes me laugh."

"I'm just saying: the future of handheld devices is in multi-function smartphones. Look at the development so far. They've already started putting digital cameras into cellphones, and while the resolution isn't that great right now, technology will improve that in a couple of years. Give it enough time, and no one will need to carry around a point and shoot camera anymore. Motorola just came out with the ROKR last Christmas to sync with iTunes, and as flash memories get denser, people will be able to store more and more music on their phones as well. So there go iPods. Blackberry's already got mobile email. Next thing you know, they'll be putting GPS units into phones. Before we hit 2010, you won't even be able to BUY a phone that does nothing but send and receive calls."

"So you're saying I shouldn't bother buying a GPS for my car because my phone will be able to do it?" Lynne inquired.

"In a coupla years, yeah," Bert agreed. "I mean, they already have turn-by-turn directions now, but only on a limited basis. GPS, Photos, Music: all in one device. It's the future, and rumor has it that Apple is working on some top secret project that's going to make it happen."

"Apple? But don't they just make computers and iPods? What do they know about phones?"

"Doesn't matter. The calling thing is the easiest piece of technology to stuff into there. It's making the operating system handle calls AND music AND all the other applications that's important. And Apple makes the best OS's around."

"Dear," I said as I arrived, bringing Lynne a fresh bottle of beer and setting my hand on her shoulder. "Is my poor friend talking your ear off?"

"No, not at all," Lynne said, taking the drink from me and patting my hand on her shoulder without looking back at me. "This is actually really interesting."

I shrugged. "If you say so. But I gotta warn you: Bert here still thinks they're going to make a sequel to TRON."

My college buddy rolled his eyes at me. "They ARE. Just you wait and see."

I patted Lynne's shoulder and leaned down to her again. "Okay. I'm going to go check on Brandi and Dayna."

"Sure thing," she said distractedly before returning to Bert. "But all of that is going to take time, won't it? I mean, you talk about my phone taking photos, but even Ben's RAZR has pretty crappy picture quality. I bought a Canon SD-something last Christmas, and it's twice as big as my phone..."

I left my 'girlfriend' and best buddy to chat while I left and went hunting for Brandi. As it turned out, she was coming for me.

"Heyyy, there you are, kiddo." Without hesitation, Brandi reached up, wrapped her arm around my neck while bending me forward, and promptly gave me a noogie with her knuckles.

"Hey, hey!" I complained, batting her hands away until she let me up.

"Sorry, don't want to embarrass you in front of the girlfriend," Brandi drawled before putting a hand over her mouth. "Oops, I mean, 'not-girlfriend'."

I sighed and shook my head.

Dayna reached over and flicked my bicep with the same hand she was holding a beer in, drawing my attention to her. "Seriously though, I like her. You two make a sweet couple."

"Yeah, well my sweet other half is talking tech futures with Bert," I gestured over.

Brandi laughed and shook her head. "Whatever. I like what she's done with you. You seem really happy."

I smiled. "I am."

Dayna leered, leaning down and now flicking her finger against my crotch. "So I guess she's gotten the plumbing all working again?"

I quickly covered the family jewels. "We do just fine in that department," I sighed.

Dayna nodded. "I hope so. You managed to find the one straight girl at this party. You didn't tell me this crowd was so butch."

"That a problem? I thought you liked girls."

"Oh, I LOVE girls. And I'm sure Kevin wouldn't complain if I brought one of these beauties home with me. But while these puppies attract a lot of male attention," she began, looking down and jiggling her Double-D melons. "It's your sister that this crowd seems to want. I'm not used to being second fiddle."

Brandi just blushed and giggled.

Dayna then leaned into me. "But seriously, you DO seem much happier."

I nodded, her comment drawing to mind the obvious topic. I took a deep breath and asked, "So how IS Dawn? Have you heard from her lately?"

Dayna looked at Brandi for a moment before taking a deep breath and shrugging to me. "She's still off on that road trip. Mom was kinda disappointed she didn't come home in time to go to camp this summer. I've got work, and DJ is in O.C. for her internship, too. This is Mom and Dad's first trip up there with no kids since before I was born."

I nodded in understanding.

Dayna continued. "So Dawn and her friends made it all the way to D.C. before turning around and coming back. Last I heard, they were in Texas working their way toward home."

"Texas, huh?" I mused. "At this rate, then maybe another week?"

Dayna shrugged. "Maybe. She's already been gone almost a month."

I pursed my lips and took a deep breath. My limbs felt tight, bundled up with a nervous energy. For nearly four weeks, I'd done my best to just forget about Dawn. She'd broken my heart, left me without really explaining why, and then run away to a road trip where I couldn't follow. All the signs clearly indicated that she didn't want to talk to me...

... so far...

But when she returned, who knew? Maybe Dawn would still want to avoid me. But maybe, just maybe, she would want to come talk to me. Maybe she would come and explain that she'd made a big mistake, that she still loved me, and that she wanted everything to go back to the way things were if only I could find it in my heart to forgive her.

And if she did, what would I do then?

"Ben! Ben!" Lynne called to me from the living room couch as she turned around and beckoned me back to her and Bert. "You have to hear this!"

I sighed and thought of Dawn again. What would I do then?

-- SATURDAY, JULY 9, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

It had been a wonderful day. Stating that it was our One Month "Not-Anniversary", I'd taken Lynne out for an all-day celebration. We went on a day trip down to Santa Cruz, where our highly-intelligent minds still couldn't make heads or tails out of the Mystery Spot. We ate crappy hot dogs on the Boardwalk and rode the Giant Dipper until we nearly puked. We then drove up Highway 1 to Pescadero Beach where we watched the sunset while cuddled together beneath a blanket. Dinner was at Lynne's favorite sushi restaurant, and then we returned to the apartment to make love.

Lynne had long ago given up on pretending we weren't a romantic couple. In everything but name, she was a devoted girlfriend. We held hands everywhere we went. We paid each other sweet compliments and received sweeter kisses in return. She let me pay for most things whenever we were out on a date but made sure to carry herself by buying a dinner or a pair of movie tickets here and there. The only difference from other couples was the name. I didn't call her "girlfriend". She didn't call me "boyfriend". It almost felt like we were stuck in the newly dating phase and not yet "going steady", even though we were alone together literally every night.

Not that I minded being in the "newly dating" phase. Ask anyone about a new relationship, and they'll tell you the sex is hotter and the passion greater in the beginning. Usually it's because the new couple is still getting to know each other, still exploring the boundaries of their sexuality and more willing to try things out with all the enthusiasm of a child with a new toy. That wasn't the case for us. I'd known Lynne since we were ten years old. She'd first given me a blowjob on my actual 17th birthday. Now here we were, both 21 and fully-grown adults, and we were still screwing at night like a pair of teenagers worried that her parents would come home and stop our fun.

I knew why I was so enthusiastic. In my current emotional state, I didn't want to think about the past, and I didn't want to think about the future. All I really wanted to worry about was the present, and enjoying myself in the here and now. Lynne was of like mind, and together, we'd decided to wring as much pleasure out of our current relationship as we could.

But while my enthusiasm was guided by a desire to move on from my past, Lynne was desperate to enjoy things while it lasted. I tried to convince her I was open to falling in love with her. I tried to reassure her that nothing was written in stone that I had to break up with her down the road. For all we knew, ours was a relationship that would build and grow and last a lifetime.

Lynne didn't believe it. She couldn't let herself believe it. She didn't dare to hope for something she just knew was out of reach. She was convinced that at some point, the ticking clock would finally run out of minutes, and our blissful little romance would vanish in a puff of smoke.

Not for the first time, I was reminded of my High School relationship with Allie Sanders. Both she and Lynne were beautiful, petite brunettes with soft eyes and warm hearts. Both of them were haunted by the specter of my busty blonde ex-girlfriends, Adrienne for Allie and Dawn for Lynne. And both of them were convinced that our relationships were doomed to fail. At least Allie had our Graduation as a marker, an expiration date she could wrap her mind around.

Lynne seemed to worry every single day that it might be our last. And over the last week, that kind of stress had started to take its toll.

So I'd told her we needed to get away from it all. I wanted to spontaneously take the whole weekend off, to drive all the way down to San Luis Obispo and check into the Apple Farm Inn and get a couples massage to ease away the stress. No hanging out with her girlfriends and no other trappings of our daily lives. Just Lynne and me, alone but together, where we could focus on just being US without worrying about other people or other days. But she'd resisted for some reason, and I'd scaled things back to just the day trip.

It had still been quite enjoyable. The roller coasters were thrilling, the Mystery Spot perplexing, and the sunset on the beach mesmerizing. For a few hours at least, we forgot about exes and daily routines and just got to BE with each other. And by the time we made it back to the apartment, Lynne was in a particularly amorous mood.

We took a shower together first, and I took my time making sure every square millimeter of her body was clean. Lynne had particularly sensitive nipples, and with my lips wrapped around them, two fingers in her slit, and my thumb on her little love button, I suckled my "not-girlfriend" to a quick starter orgasm. Then it was her turn to kneel down with the shower spray cascading over her head as she sucked on my thick cock. She had to close her eyes against the water, just making love to my dick by feel. But she didn't bring me off that way, only blowing me until I was done rubbing conditioner into her hair.

We dried off in a hurry, and then ran naked into her bedroom. Carefully placing a fresh towel over the pillows so that her hair wouldn't get them wet, Lynne lay down on her back with her knees in the air, beckoning me between her thighs. My tongue entered her mouth at the same time my cock slid into her buttery cunt. And then we spent the next ten minutes simply making love.

I'd never seen Lynne quite so ... sensitive. I'd been with girls in "particularly" amorous moods before. They were usually full of energy and fucked me hard with reckless abandon as they screamed out orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. Well, Lynne moaned out in orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, but she did it in a completely sedate and measured way that really just ... confused me. Every little thing I did caused her pleasure. When I sucked on her neck: instant climax. When I tweaked her nipples: instant climax. When I simply held myself at full depth inside her and rotated my cock around like a joystick: instant climax.

Unlike the others, Lynne didn't fuck me hard with reckless abandon. Really, she just lay there and let me do whatever I wanted to her. And what I wanted to do was see how many more orgasms I could give her.

We made love missionary style with her ankles hooked around my calves, using her leg muscles to pull me in deeper and to bring our bodies closer together as she moaned her climaxes into my ear. When I tired of holding myself up above her, she turned onto her side and raised her right knee into the air so I could enter her from behind and below, just using my ab muscles to pump her while using my right hand to diddle her clit. Again, she kept moaning up a storm. And still, I stroked her with a slow deliberation and tender affection that I had to describe as making love more than mere fucking.

We had moved into a modified doggy-style when the phone call came. Lynne was face-down, with a pillow under her chest and her arms limply laid out in front of her. Another pillow was under her pelvis, supporting her weight while her knees were spread out to the sides like a frog. I stood on the floor at the foot of the bed, leaning over her body as I rhythmically pumped her from behind, using my hands to give her a back massage and stroke her spine at the same time. Between the relaxing massage and the slow-pumping through her cum-filled cunt, Lynne was barely conscious, truly half-asleep. But she kept orgasming every few minutes, moaning in rapture at each climactic peak. And finally somebody couldn't take it anymore.

We ignored the phone the first time it rang. We ignored it the second time as well. But the third time, I finally got annoyed and pulled out of Lynne, rifling through my jeans until I found my cell phone and saw that the annoying caller was one Kady Jacobsen. "WHAT???" I snarled into the receiver.

"Are you guys fucking serious?" Kady complained. Immediately after, I heard somebody stomping on the ceiling above us, right where Kady's bedroom was located. "It's been almost two fucking hours! And you're still fucking fucking! Do you have ANY idea how distracting you are?!?"

Jerking my head back in surprise, I exclaimed a confused, "Huh? I didn't think we were being very loud at all."

"Your fucking WINDOW is open! Did you know that?"

My jaw dropped as I walked over to the large window beside the bed. Lynne indeed often left the window open during the summer, not wanting it to get stuffy inside her room while she slept. And in our haste to get out the door and onto our day trip, she'd apparently forgotten to close it this morning. "Oh, um, sorry?"

"Don't fucking tell me 'sorry'. Just explain to me what the fuck is going on down there? Two fucking hours! I've never CONCEIVED of two people going at it for this long!" Kady complained.

"Uh, well if it's distracting, why don't you two just close YOUR window," I groaned. "Seriously, we're not being that loud."

"Oh, well, uh..." Kady hedged. I heard someone else giggling in the background. Sighing, she finally explained, "Noelle has really liked listening in on you two. It's gotten her red-fucking-hot tonight, but she doesn't want to quit before you guys do. And my tongue is so rubbed off it feels like sandpaper."

I rolled my eyes. "So buckle on a strap-on and let her go for a ride. Let her do all the work."

"Oh, hey! That's a good idea!" And without another word, Kady hung up the phone.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I closed the clamshell shut and put it back into my jeans pocket. Over the course of the conversation, I'd started to deflate. But the thought of a naked Kady Jacobsen sitting up against the headboard wearing a strap-on while her busty dirty-blonde girlfriend humped up and down it while shoving those big D-cup tits into the redhead's face, well, my erection was coming right back.

I wasn't the only one to notice. Still barely conscious, Lynne's eyes were nevertheless cracked open. She'd heard the entire conversation, and with a sleepy grin, she said, "Don't close the window."

"Huh?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

Taking a deep breath, Lynne did a slow pushup and then flashed me a crooked smile. "I want them to hear what's coming next."

Arching an eyebrow, I asked warily. "And what exactly is coming next?"

"I want you to fuck my ass."

Lynne had only ever done this one time. She was 5'3" and only weighed a buck-ten, with narrow hips and a narrow cunt to match. I seriously worried if the girl would ever be able to give birth naturally.

That narrow vaginal channel was exquisitely tight for me, but it also meant that we always had to take our time with initial entry, giving her a few minutes to stretch out around my girth. And that was her pussy. The one and only time we'd tried this up her butt, it had taken practically forever. By the time we finally pulled it off, Lynne was already sore. She enjoyed the full feeling well enough, and she'd been energized by the newness of our relationship and the naughtiness of what we were doing. But she hadn't orgasmed and when it was over, I'd resigned myself to the knowledge that it might never happen again. For some girls, anal sex just wasn't their thing.

But as I mentioned before, Lynne was in a particularly amorous mood tonight. Hours of slow-dicking and back-stroking had relaxed her body to the limpness of a de-boned fish. And after I thoroughly lubed up both of us, she took my dick up her anal channel with surprising ease.

Still in the frog position, Lynne moaned for the entire three minutes it took to slowly bury my dick up her ass to the hilt. Her pert, perky buttcheeks were lewdly spread to the sides beneath my hands. Beads of sweat ran down her spine. And she shivered quite noticeably. But once I was all the way in, she groaned quite loudly and called out toward the window, "Fuck my ass, Ben! Fuck my ass."

Momentarily, I worried about other neighbors. Sure, Lynne might want Kady and Noelle to hear, but they weren't the only ones around. The apartment complex was built plantation-style, with four apartments built together in a single large building, two on the first floor like a duplex and two more identical ones immediately on top. Lynne's bedroom window was in a far corner. But still, only about twenty feet away and across a sidewalk was another large building with four more apartments that could potentially have open windows. I just hoped there weren't any small children around.

"Fuck my ass, Ben! Fuck my ass!" Lynne now called out a little louder, her limbs beginning to tense up as I continued to thrust in and out of her slender little butt at a deliberate pace. Her asshole was excruciatingly tight, and even though I'd already dumped two loads into her pussy and figured this third one could last quite a while, the incredible friction and the sound of proper, innocent Lynne yelling for me to fuck her ass was battering down my control.

"Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" Lynne howled, now getting her knees underneath her body to give her leverage for fucking her body back at me. "FUCK MY ASS, LOVER! FUCK MY FUCKING ASS!"

"Ohhhwaaaaghhh!" I heard float through our window softly from the outside. "Oh, Kady! Oh, Kady! Oh, Kady!" Noelle practically sang somewhere above us.

"FUCK ME! FUCK MY FUCKING SLUTTY ASSHOLE!" Lynne now screamed. She'd pushed herself up onto all fours, leaving plenty of space between her body and the pillows that had once supported her. Her fingers curled in as she scrabbled at the bed sheets, using them to help her fling her body back at me to meet every thrust.

"FUCK MY ASS! FUCK MY ASS! FUCKME, FUCKME, FUCKME, FUCKMEEEEE!"

By now I was delirious. Lynne had always been a quiet lover. Even during that first crazy weekend, she hadn't cursed much. Some girls were screamers. Not Lynne – not usually at least. She was a "whimperer", having quiet, muffled orgasms that slowly rolled across her entire body. She moaned a lot, whispered my name, and pleaded for me to spill my hot essence inside her. Hearing her now scream "Fuck my fucking slutty asshole" was almost more than I could handle.

"FUUUUCKKMMEEEE!" she shrieked.

"UNNNNGHHH!" I grunted, feeling my control slip away. Kady had been right: Lynne and I had slowly made love for damn near two hours. But after all that buildup, all that slow deliberation, we were primed for a detonation. And after less than five minutes of my dick pumping in and out through Lynne's supertight anal channel, we were both about to blow.

"CUM IN MEEEE!" Lynne screamed. "SPILL YOUR HOT FUCKING CUM DEEP INSIDE ME! CUMMMM!!!"

"UNNGHHH!" I grunted again.

"CUMMMM!!!"

"UNNGHHH!"

"CUMMMM!!!"

And then we both blew.

Lynne's anal muscles clamped down around my prick so tight that she literally stopped me in my tracks. My dick was about three-quarters imbedded when she did this, and she locked up around me with a suddenness that prevented me from thrusting any deeper, and also prevented me from pulling out. I was stuck right there, my torso still lurching forward even though my pelvis had come to an arresting halt. And with my cock no longer sliding deeper into her anal chute, all that momentum simply pushed her body forward and down onto the mattress.

"-UUUUUCK!" Lynne was still screaming as she landed back down on the pillows, which cushioned her landing. Her body tremored, a quake that unclenched and re-clenched her muscles in the span of half a second. But that half-second was all I needed to fall forward and shove the last couple of inches into her rectum. And it was there – at full depth – that my cockhead split apart and began spewing my seed deep into her channel.

Like she'd been tasered, taking 300 kilovolts of electricity to her nervous system, Lynne twitched erratically beneath me as a monster orgasm swept across her. Her last cry died out into a drooling moan as she experienced some form of excited delirium. And even when her eyes rolled up into her head and her brain simply switched "off" as a safety measure, her unconscious body continued quaking with miniature aftershock orgasms.

Likewise, I was heaving and puffing and struggling not to suffocate the petite brunette while I finished spunking her asshole. After two straight hours of cardiovascular exercise, I felt like every ounce of energy had been drained from my limbs. And I was damn-near helpless to hold myself up even as I felt my cock twitch and spit out the final few globs of jizz into Lynne's colon.

But finally, her body went completely limp, her anal muscles ceasing to massage and coax out the rest of my sperm. Shivering as if freezing cold even though I was sweating like a pig, I managed to roll myself off her and flop onto my back. And I lay there, gasping at the ceiling with my lower jaw still twitching.

And then I heard them.

"AAAAAUUUGHHH!" Kady bellowed in a familiar deep tone.

"IIIIIYYYYYEEEEE!" Noelle squealed in a much higher pitch.

And then all went silent.

Still panting for breath, I shook my head wearily and then let it flop to the side so I could stare at my girlfriend. Her eyes closed, Lynne was in the dreamworld as she drooled into the pillow that used to support her chest. Her body was coated with a fine sheen of sweat, and copious amounts of cum trickled out of both her thoroughly saturated pussy and recently-abused anus.

It took me about five minutes to recover just enough to sit up. But eventually, I staggered to my feet and went into the bathroom to clean myself up before returning with a warm washcloth for Lynne.

She remained unconscious the entire time that I cleaned her. And she still was lights out as I pulled her further up the bed so that I could tuck her body beneath the blanket. Finally, I closed the window, if nothing else symbolizing that our little audio show for Kady and Noelle was now over. And then sagging from exhaustion, I managed to crawl in beside my girlfriend and spoon myself around her slumbering body.

It had been a wonderful day.

But the day wasn't over just yet.

"Ben." She rocked my slumbering body gently, bringing me just above the mental divide between sleep and consciousness, though not enough to fully wake me.

"Ben," she said a little more strongly, pushing me a little harder. Still, my eyelids did not open.

"BEN," Lynne stated at full voice, this time rocking me hard enough that I snorted and jerked awake. And when she saw that my eyes were blinking open, she sighed and gave me an apologetic look.

"Hey, wha-?" I asked blearily. Looking past Lynne's head, I saw that the nightstand clock read 11:37pm. We'd been asleep for less than an hour.

"Go back to your room," she said quietly, but seriously.

I frowned, more not wanting to leave my comfortable spot in this bed than not wanting to leave Lynne. But I also didn't want to leave my girlfriend while we cuddled so nicely, and I pouted, "But I wanna stay here."

Lynne shook her head in the negative. "We can't. Go back to your room."

I sighed unhappily. Except for the first night when I moved in, I'd always gone back to my own room, or Lynne had left mine. This was the first time we'd fucked so hard that we both passed out. But even so, Lynne was sticking to her rules. "Do I really have to?"

"Yes, Ben. You have to go."

"Please? I love sleeping here with you," I whined crankily.

She sighed, exhaling slowly. But then with steel in her dark eyes, Lynne shook me one more time and said, "I know. I do too. That's why you have to go."

Growling in annoyance, I nevertheless hung my head down and then did a pushup. Sliding out from under the blanket, I stumbled to my feet and then turned back to give my girlfriend a goodnight kiss. But to my surprise, she turned her cheek to me and stared off in the distance. "Hey ... what gives?" I complained, still cranky and even more so now that she wouldn't kiss me.

Sighing, Lynne turned to me and gave me an extremely short peck on the lips. "Just go. We'll talk in the morning."

I frowned, but Lynne's demeanor brooked no argument. She was as stubbornly dug in about this as she was about not referring to ourselves as boyfriend/girlfriend. And I was too tired to argue. We'd figure it out in the morning.

Sighing, I stumbled over to the chair and retrieved my clothes. Carrying them with me, I left and went back into my bedroom.

The clock in my bedroom now read 11:46pm. It was almost midnight, but not quite. And as I flopped into my bed and closed my eyes, the idea that it was not yet midnight stuck in my head.

Not yet midnight ... Not yet midnight...

Like it was on an infinite loop, my brain repeated that information as I sank deeper and deeper into the blackness. Blissful sleep awaited me, but like it was an air-filled balloon, the knowledge that it wasn't yet midnight kept me from fully sinking into the dreamland.

Not yet midnight ... Not yet midnight...

And then I suddenly knew. The knowledge hit me with such speed and force that it literally knocked me awake. I jerked upright, gasping in sudden sweat, panicking even more than if I'd heard Lynne screaming bloody murder in the next room. It wasn't yet midnight, was it?

Darting my gaze to the clock, I saw that it read 11:58pm. I wasn't too late. I wasn't too late. Desperately scrambling, I tried to get out of the bed, but my legs got caught up in the covers and I fell, landing awkwardly on my left shoulder. No matter. I quickly rolled and got up onto my knees, crawling on all fours to the chair where I'd haphazardly tossed my clothes. After fumbling through my jeans again, I quickly opened my cell phone and held down the number 2.

It took an agonizing three seconds for the phone to start ringing. She didn't pick up after the first two rings, and I started to worry that she never would pick up. After all, why would she? She'd dumped me, left me for good, and taken off clear across the country. She clearly didn't want to talk to me, so why the hell would she pick up the phone?

But she did pick up the phone. I heard the line go live, and heard the soft breathing of a human being. But she didn't say a word.

"Dawn?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hi," she replied quietly. And nothing else. Clearly, she wasn't going to say anything more.

So taking a nervous breath, I said, "Uh ... I just wanted to say ... Happy 21st Birthday."

I heard her inhale deeply, a shaky breath, filled with anxiety. She didn't answer me for a very long time, but after a few pregnant moments, she finally replied, "Thanks. It means a lot to me that you called."

"You're welcome."

I took a deep breath, gathering myself. "Can I please come see you?"

"No, Ben."

"Can I call you again?"

"No."

"When will I ever be able to talk to you again?"

"I don't know."

"Dawn ... please."

"Goodbye, Ben." And then she hung up.

-- SUNDAY, JULY 10, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

It was the worst night's sleep I'd had in the last month. Intimate time with Lynne and the distractions of both my job and hanging out with friends had kept me from seriously dwelling on "the Dawn issue" for some time now. But the realization last night that it was Dawn's 21st Birthday, and that I had missed such a special occasion, brought my despair over losing her right back full force.

I tried burying my head underneath my pillow, clamping it to the side of my head with one hand in a vain effort to keep the rioting emotions at bay. All I accomplished was to nearly suffocate myself.

I wanted to return to Lynne, to cuddle and find sanctuary in the warmth of her embrace. But she'd already kicked me out of her bed with a coldness that disquieted me. And thinking about Lynne kicking me out just made me feel even worse.

Fuck, I couldn't even masturbate myself to sleep. Three ejaculations, ending with that last incredible assfuck, had completely wiped me out. I was emotionally exhausted, bone tired, and stressed out beyond belief. But I couldn't even pass out.

I think I got two hours of sleep ... maybe. I thought there was a half-hour around 1:15am when I blinked and then realized it was nearly 2. I might've gotten a full hour straight from 3 to 4. But I woke up for good around 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep to save my life.

It was around 8am that I heard Lynne moving around in her bedroom. She was an early riser, even on the weekends. So still feeling quite exhausted, I managed to drag myself out of bed and over to the door.

Opening it, I staggered into the bathroom where I splashed some water onto my face, which helped to wake me up a bit. And after pissing and washing up, I exited the bathroom to find Lynne waiting for me.

"Morning, Ben," she greeted me pleasantly with a crooked smile. And then she went into the bathroom to do her own thing, closing the door in my face.

Sighing, I waddled out into the living room. I'd donned a pair of boxers and my pajama pants, skipping a shirt in the July warmth. I went to the kitchen and got some orange juice, not having the energy to even make myself a bowl of cereal. And flopping back down onto the couch, I sat there, holding my head groggily, until Lynne came out of the bathroom still dressed in her pajamas.

She was whistling perkily, and I scowled to see someone so happy while I was feeling this miserable. Not wanting to waste time with meaningless chit-chat, I cut right to the question that had been plaguing me all night. "So what got into you last night?" I asked thickly.

"What got into me?" Lynne smirked as she passed me into the kitchen, walking gingerly. "Uh, you did. Or don't you remember that part?" For extra emphasis, she reached back and rubbed her own buttcheek.

"I remember, I remember," I sighed. "I just mean: What prompted it? I'm not complaining, but the Lynne Arian I remember would never howl 'Fuck my slutty asshole' at the top of her lungs with the window open."

I expected Lynne to smile or chuckle at the audacity of her actions, but she didn't. There was a low half-wall separating the apartment's living room from the kitchen, with two barstools lined up against it. The point is that I could see Lynne puttering around as she made herself a bowl of cereal, and I had a perfect view as she set everything down onto the counter, braced herself with her hands splayed out across the tile, and took a deep, measured breath.

She was quiet for a long few seconds, staring down at nothing. But after another deep breath, she pulled her eyes up to look at me and canted her head to the side. "It was..." she began speculatively. "It was a unique moment."

She didn't elaborate, so I just arched an eyebrow and sipped at my juice. My sense of tiredness washed away beneath a wave of curiosity as I wondered what was going through my girlfriend's head. "I'll say. But does unique mean 'rare'? As in, unlikely to ever happen again?"

That brought a small smile to Lynne's lips. She had put away the milk and cereal box by now. And as she carried her bowl over to join me on the couch, she sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe so. It was a strange day, from the driving trip to the roller coaster to dinner and to ... man ... How long were we having sex? I mean the slow part, before the ... uh ... you know."

I shook my head wryly. Last night Lynne's screaming for me to pound her slutty asshole. This morning, she can't even bring herself to mention the buttfucking out loud when we're the only two people in the room.

"Uh, almost two hours," I explained as Lynne sat down beside me. "It was nice."

"It really was ... You damn near put me to sleep, but it felt so good I didn't want to stop." She choked up right then, suddenly leaning forward and setting her bowl down lest she spill it. I watched her entire body tense up, and her lower lip quivered as if she'd seen a ghost.

"Hey, hey," I sat up quickly, wrapping my arm around her protectively and leaning forward so that I could look her in the eye. "What's wrong?"

Lynne shivered, turning her head away to avoid my gaze. I stopped trying to get our eyes to meet, and indeed I pulled back just a little bit, wondering why she was recoiling from me. But when she didn't turn and face me, I decided to hell with it and just leaned into her, wrapping both arms around my girlfriend's body. I held her fiercely while she almost violently both leaned into me with a happy sigh and then pulled away, breaking down into quiet, muffled sobs.

Lynne was crying now, and I was confused to hell. "Lynne!" I called to her urgently, even though we were so close that the back of her head was basically against my cheek. "LYNNE!"

With a few shudders, she started to bring herself under control. The crying continued for a few more seconds, and then began to dry up. And as she sniffled and stopped trying to wriggle away, I gradually lessened my grip, still hugging her, but no longer physically restraining her.

Sniffling again, Lynne sighed and finally said, "It feels so good, I don't want to stop," she repeated. "But I'm thinking now that it IS time for us to stop."

"Wait, what?" Abruptly, I pulled my arms away from her. She couldn't have said what I thought she just said. I'd already been dumped once this year. I wasn't sure I could handle it again.

Lynne turned to face me now, her eyes red-rimmed with tears. "I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but I'm afraid it's too late. I'm falling in love with you again. I'm falling in love, and that's a line that I just can't cross."

"Don't do this. Don't you dare break up with me."

She gave me a teary smile. "We're not together, don't you get it? How can I break up with you if we're not together? That was the plan."

"That 'nottogether' crap is bullshit," I said heatedly. "You knew it was a delusional lie when Adrienne and I said we were 'nottogether'. And you know it's a delusional lie right now. You're my girlfriend; I'm your boyfriend. And if you do this to me now, then you're breaking up with me just the same!"

"It was ALL a delusional lie," Lynne sighed, fresh tears in her eyes even as she stared at me with an almost crazed expression. "I was never meant to be with you. I was the friend, the plain one who hung out with your hot girlfriend. I was never supposed to have you. This whole month has been a mistake, a clerical error from the gods of destiny."

"The fuck are you talking about?" I barked, feeling angry. I still felt like Lynne was trying to break up with me, and rather than feel sorry about it, I just felt pissed off. I felt like I'd been lied to this entire time, that the person I'd been growing closer and closer to was just stringing me along, using me for sex, when she never really cared about me at all.

"I could never have you for a boyfriend. How could I? I'm short, I'm plain, and I'm skinny with barely any boobs. The legendary sex god stuff was reserved for the true goddesses, girls like Adrienne and Dawn. Stuff like last night never happens to a girl like me. I should consider myself lucky that I got to have a piece of you at all." Staring off into space, Lynne began cackling in a way that made her seem completely insane.

"LYNNE!" I yelled, grabbing her head and focusing it on mine. "TALK to me!"

She laughed, her eyes wobbling in different directions like in the cartoons. I began to wonder if she hadn't seriously lost her marbles. But then all of a sudden, she came right back down to Earth and went rigidly still, as if she were a life-like android that had suddenly had its power cut off. Moments later, with an eerie slowness, her eyes ticked their way over to me while the rest of her face remained rigidly still. And staring at me with her eyes open really wide, she said quietly, "I love you, Ben. In a way, I've been in love with you since High School. Thank you for letting me live out this fantasy of being your girlfriend."

"Lynne..." I pleaded.

Slowly, she pushed herself away from me. If she'd tried to jerk away, I think I would have reflexively held onto her. But from the way she simply applied gentle pressure and gradually stood up, I really had no choice but to let her go.

When she was standing, she turned around and looked down on me with sadness in her normally warm eyes. I no longer doubted her sanity; she had full capacity as she gazed at me and winced in obvious emotional pain. Reaching a hand out, she gently brushed her fingertips along my cheek, as if feeling my face for the last time. And then in a much calmer, normal voice, she said, "I'm really very sorry. When I started this, I honestly thought we could just be friends. I honestly thought I could just give you the emotional support you needed to get over your ex. And I thought we would both just enjoy the physical pleasures I know you're so capable of."

"But it was more than that."

She nodded. "It became more than that. I underestimated the feelings I'd been harboring for you all these years. My rational brain knew all the reasons why I shouldn't fall in love with you. But it happened anyway."

"You say that as if falling in love is a bad thing."

Lynne looked at me sadly. "In this case, it is. For me, it's fucking tragic."

"How can you say that? What we have is special."

Lynne sighed and stood up straight. "Do you love me, Ben? Do you really, really love me?"

"I love being with you. I love being in this relationship."

"But do you LOVE me. Are you IN LOVE with me? Can you see yourself with me for the rest of your life?"

I didn't. I couldn't. Not yet. Not right now. "I'm ... open ... to the possibility," I hedged.

She shook her head. "That's not enough, and you know it."

"It's only been a month. I'm coming off a bad breakup, and with time, who knows what could happen?" I reasoned.

"In time, perhaps. But I can't wait for that. Not right now. At best, we have the summer, and then you're off back to school while I'm staying right here."

"Berkeley's not that far away. Despite the supposed hatred between our schools, I've heard of a lot of Cal-Stanford relationships working."

Lynne shrugged. "It doesn't change the fact that I'm a rebound. You're clinging to me because you've still got a big empty void inside you."

I sighed. I couldn't totally disagree. I was adrift before Lynne anchored me, and I didn't think I could handle floating free again. "I still need you," I said quietly. "I still WANT you."

Lynne frowned, biting her lip.

"Please..." I begged, feeling a sense of déjà vu all over again. "Please don't leave me."

My heart cracked as I said the words. Six weeks ago, I'd said those same words to Dawn. But she'd left me anyway. I knew with certainty I couldn't handle Lynne doing the same.

But her expression softened, and after a deep breath, Lynne knelt back down on the couch beside me. Taking my head in her hands, she brought it to her bosom and cradled me against her chest. Stroking my hair, she sighed and said, "I'm here for you. I still want to be here for you. But it's got to be under the terms we set forth from the beginning. We're friends, Ben. Maybe friends with benefits, but if we can't keep our emotions in check, then we'll have to stop having sex, too."

My loins cringed at her words, and my heart tightened. But my brain seemed to be nodding inside my skull. Anything to keep her with me. The reality was: I needed Lynne emotionally more than I needed her sexually.

"You're not my boyfriend anymore, not even my 'not-boyfriend', understand?" Lynne said firmly.

I just nodded my head against her chest.

"We have to redraw the boundaries. You're my roommate. I'm your friend. I..." she trailed off, sighing heavily. "Fuck, I don't know if I can completely cut off the sex. You're too damn fucking good," she complained.

That brought a small chuckle to me.

"But it can't be every night anymore. Hell, it certainly won't be tonight. Two hours of slow-dicking felt sooo good last night, but you have NO idea how sore I am right now, in both places."

"I'm sorry," I apologized quickly.

"And you can't even think of spending the night sleeping with me. That's too intimate."

"Fine. Deal," I agreed, willing to accept anything so long as I didn't lose her.

"No more cuddling on the couch like a young couple in love. No more holding hands out in public. No more acting with our friends like we're an item. It's over. It's done. I'm not your girlfriend anymore."

"Lynne, please," I begged. Those little touches of affection had been wonderful.

"I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be. We're friends again, just friends."

Just friends, I thought, turning over the concept in my head. I'd parroted the words so many times in the past few weeks, unable to do so with my tape recorder. I'd said the words without really believing them, knowing that beneath the guise of 'nottogether' that Lynne and I were really enjoying all the intimacy and joy of a romantic couple. But now, we were going to have to make them a reality.

"But Lynne," I quietly protested. "I care about you as more than just friends."

She sighed and pulled my face out of her cleavage, looking down at me with a frown while rubbing my cheeks. "I do too. But if we continue down this road, there's a good chance we won't end up being friends. And that's something I don't want to do. I love you, Ben. But I will never be 'The One' for you."

Shoulders sagging, I mourned the relationship between us that never was. And with a sigh of infinite sadness, I said, "You never even gave us a chance."

Tragic indeed.

Being a Sunday morning, we were supposed to get brunch with Kady and Noelle. But it was still only 8:30 in the morning, and the lesbian couple upstairs wouldn't come down to get us until 10. Needing to clear her head, Lynne got dressed in a cute runner's outfit, telling me that she was going to go for a jog and would return in time to go to brunch. Me, I was so tired, even more so after this morning's talk. And I was planning to go back to bed.

But first, I wanted to walk Lynne out the door. I didn't care that I was bare-chested; I slipped on some flip-flops and walked her out to the main sidewalk. And there, for one final time, I kissed her goodbye. "Last one, I promise."

"We're going to break that promise someday," Lynne sighed.

"More than few times, I'm guessing," I agreed. "But we'll try to do the 'just friends' thing. I'll make it work. I HAVE to make it work, because I won't lose you."

Lynne gave me a hopeful smile. "I won't lose you, either." And then she held my head and gave me a sweet kiss. I never wanted to let her go. But after only two seconds, Lynne quickly tore her mouth away from mine and started up the sidewalk. She looked adorable with her Nike cap, iPod with earbuds, short-shorts and matching pink runner's top. I watched the tightness of her toned asscheeks as she jogged away. And I winced in apology as I noticed a particular hitch in her normally smooth gait. We HAD just stretched her asshole pretty wide last night, and two hours of vaginal-fucking is also two hours of vaginal-friction.

Muttering "Sorry" under my breath, I turned around to head back inside and try to sleep for about an hour. But just as I completed my turn, I heard the loud sound of a door slamming shut above me.

Drawn by the noise, I let my eyes track up the apartment stairs. I first caught sight of simple white tennis shoes, with low white socks that bared her ankles. Above those socks was nothing but silky smooth, creamy white skin for miles and miles. This young woman had long, loooong, shapely legs, topped off with tight running shorts molded around a toned, perfect ass that rivaled Kady's for athletic perfection.

She was turning around from her door as my gaze tracked upward, and I saw that nicely flared hips gave way to a tiny waist and perfectly toned belly that hinted at a six-pack. Above that toned belly were BIG tits, and I mean disproportionately gorgeous hooters that were tightly bound by a white and pink sports bra. Long, sunny blonde hair hung in a tight ponytail that draped over one of her nearly bare shoulders.

She was tall, maybe only a couple of inches shorter than my six feet. And she had the kind of body that stopped traffic from across the street. But despite all these exquisitely perfect features, my eyes were locked right onto her face. She had crystal clear blue eyes, delicate cheekbones, and a surpassing beauty that only came around a few times in a lifetime.

I couldn't believe Dawn was standing here.

Only it wasn't Dawn. It couldn't be Dawn. Yeah, a lot of this girl's physical features were like Dawn's, from the height to those tits to the blonde hair and blue eyes and even her nose but ... Shit. It wasn't Dawn.

I was staring. I couldn't help it. I didn't ogle her body. I didn't leer. I simply gawked at the sheer beauty of this gorgeous physical specimen of womanhood, marveling at how much she reminded me of the most perfect, beautiful girl in the world and yet wasn't actually her. I was in disbelief that there were two such women on the entire planet. And as I stood there at the bottom of the stairs behaving like a love-struck teenager, she turned to evaluate me with an arched eyebrow and a snarling upper lip.

"What the hell are YOU looking at?"

The bitchy tone in her voice shook me from my reverie. I shook my head, blinking rapidly before regaining control of my senses. And as I became aware of my surroundings and more aware of what I'd just been doing, I stammered in apology. "Oh, ohmigawd. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to stare. It's just, you really, really, really remind me of someone I know."

"Pssht," she snorted dismissively. "I've heard that line before."

"No, no, I'm serious. Her name is Dawn Evans and I've even got a picture in my wallet if you need proof," I said, finally getting my voice under control. "Uh, I'm sorry about that. Really. I'm not usually one to gawk."

"Hmmph." Rolling her eyes at me, the gorgeous blonde put on some sunglasses and delicately tucked the earbuds of her iPod into her ears. She raised her left arm so that she could start the playback on her pink Nano. And then without paying me any mind, she hopped down the stairs, which made those big tits jiggle very nicely.

But I forced myself not to look. I'd embarrassed myself enough already. Putting my head down, I started back for the front door of the apartment. And I wondered just how in the hell I'd lived here for a full month without ever knowing there was such a freakishly gorgeous blonde in the apartment right next to Kady's and Noelle's.

"Hey, you!"

I stopped in my tracks as I heard her call out. Turning around, I was surprised to see that the hot blonde had stopped at the foot of the stairs and was staring directly at me. Propping her sunglasses atop her head with the temples pointed down behind her ears, she pulled the earbuds out and pointed behind me. With her blue eyes sizzling electrically, she asked, "Are you dating Lynne or something?"

I gestured back to Lynne's front door and shrugged, thinking of our agreement to be 'just friends'. "Uh, I'm just crashing for a little while. Lynne and I really ... uh ... we're just friends."

The gorgeous blonde smirked, shaking her head. "That's not what it sounded like last night."

I blushed. "You heard us?"

She grinned, flashing me twin rows of pearly white teeth. "I'm sure half the complex heard you guys. I never thought sweet, innocent Lynne had it in her. That shit was intense."

Blushing deeper, I shrugged and apologized, "Uh, left the window open by accident. We'll try to keep it down next time."

She shook her head. "Oh, don't worry about me. I don't mind, and it sounded like you guys were having fun. But you sure you're just friends?" She waggled her eyebrows at me.

"Well..." I bobbled my head. "Maybe friends with benefits."

The blonde's grin got even bigger, and rather predatory if you ask me. She ogled me obviously, taking in my bare chest, lingering on my pec muscles and six-pack abs before zeroing in my crotch with a speculative expression. And then finally tracking her eyes up to mine, she nodded to me while putting her earbuds back in. "What's your name?"

"I'm Ben."

"Pleased to meet you, Ben," she said. "I'm Amber. And I'll be seeing you around."