Just Friends l

-- THURSDAY, JUNE 9, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

"Hey there, stranger," Lynne said with a wry grin. "I was wondering if you were going to show up."

I took a deep breath and stayed where I was, making no move to embrace her or otherwise enter the apartment. Still shell-shocked from finding that Dawn had left behind the "Ben Forever" bracelet, I had driven aimlessly and just so happened to find myself pulling into the parking lot here. I knew that I was yearning for some kind of comfort, and Stanford wasn't too far away from the Evans house. But at the same time, I was consciously aware of what had happened the last time I saw Lynne, and more specifically, the way I had left.

"I wanted to apologize for last night," I said slowly, forcing myself to look her in the eye. "I shouldn't have kissed you. That was out of line."

Lynne shook her head with a little smile. "You don't need to apologize. It was a great kiss."

I blushed and looked down. Lynne then stepped up and punched me in the chest, although not too hard. "What you should be apologizing for is running away immediately after. Do you have any idea what that does to a girl's psyche?"

Despite her words, and the punch, Lynne's tone was more one of amusement. She wasn't angry with me, and that knowledge lightened my mood a bit. Looking her in the eye again, I stated evenly, "I'm sorry, Lynne. I should not have run away from you. I was caught up in the moment, and you looked so beautiful right then that I couldn't help myself. But I'm a psychological mess right now and I didn't know how to handle- MRF!"

My apology was abruptly cut off when Lynne launched herself out from the doorway. Her arms went up around my neck and she practically had to climb up my taller body in order to get her lips fastened around mine. Gripping my neck fiercely, she held on for dear life as her tongue snaked out and pressed its way into my mouth. And then my hands finally got firm grips on her tight asscheeks, and with new leverage I hoisted her higher so that we could worry more about the intensity of our passionate liplock and less about just trying to stay vertical.

Unconsciously, I'd turned us and staggered over until Lynne's back hit the door. She broke away from the kiss and giggled for a moment while I regained my balance. And then re-crossing her legs around my waist to hold herself up, she tugged my head toward hers and kissed me once again.

Two minutes later, it occurred to me that we were kissing in full view of anyone who wanted to see, whether from the outside public or inside the apartment. Cracking open an eye, I staggered us into the living room and looked around. "Where is everybody?"

Lynne panted for breath, still hanging onto me. "Wha-?"

"Where is everybody?" I repeated.

Lynne shook her head. "School's over, so there's no need to have study sessions here anymore. Ivonne went home this morning. Kady and Noelle ... well ... my guess is they're upstairs doing what we're about to do."

That got my attention. I arched an eyebrow and looked at Lynne frankly. "And what are we about to do?"

Grinning, Lynne dropped her legs, forcing me to lower her to the floor. And taking my hand in hers, she started pulling me back toward her bedroom. "We're about to get naked and have some fun."

When Lynne dragged me into her bedroom and literally flung me onto her bed, I felt like apologizing. Less than a week ago, Dayna Evans had been throwing herself at me, even sucking my penis into her mouth, and I had been unable to get an erection. I'd watched porn on my computer, trying to get off in some way that didn't involve fantasizing about Dawn, to no avail. My plumbing simply didn't work for anyone but her.

But when Lynne grabbed my jeans, jerking them down and reaching her hand into my shorts, miracle of miracles, nearly eight inches of thick man meat awaited her. "Fuck, I forgot how big you are!" she breathed, jacking my shaft slowly while stretching her lips up to mine once again.

My mind was spinning in utter shock. I was shocked that Lynne was coming onto me like this. I was shocked that I had a non-Dawn erection for the first time in nearly three weeks. And in this state of shock, I was helpless to resist as Lynne pushed me onto my back, straddled my upper thighs, and reached down to pull her shirt off.

The shirt went flying into a corner, leaving just a plain nude-colored bra to cover her perky B-cups. She tugged at the hem of my polo shirt, pulling it upward and then scratching my chest with her fingernails while she bent down to kiss me once again. And then she pulled away to finish yanking my polo shirt and undershirt both over my head.

"Lynne, are you sure about this?" I gasped.

"Don't ask me that," she whimpered, leaning down and kissing me once again. I could feel the heat of her skin as our chests pressed together, even through the thin cotton bra. She moaned into the kiss, a moan of erotic passion that got me even harder. And all I could do to respond was palm her buttcheeks, yank her crotch against my erection, and kiss back just as hard as she was kissing me.

Are YOU sure about this? I asked myself.

My rational brain was aware of the situation. It was exactly three weeks ago that my soulmate slept with another man and then came home to dump me. It was less than thirty minutes ago that I stood in the doorway of my girlfriend's home, staring in shock at her beloved bracelet left behind for me to find. This wasn't exactly the ideal time for me to make love with another woman.

But I am a sexual creature, and the mental block that had plagued me for three weeks was now gone. When DJ had offered herself to me the day after the breakup, I'd simply grabbed her and shoved her out the door. When Kim had awoken me with a morning blowjob the day after that, I'd stopped her and ordered her to go home. And when Dayna had thrown herself at me just this past Sunday, I couldn't even get hard.

I was hard now. And as I thought about it, I knew the reason why.

I was free.

If you think about it, I'd been free ever since Dawn dumped me. She'd broken up with me; she'd walked away. From that very moment, I was a single man.

But I'd still belonged to her. She was my soulmate. I'd promised I'd wait for her, and even though DJ, Kim, and Dayna had all tempted me, I still waited for my Dawn. I'd believed with all my heart that we would find a way to work things out.

We couldn't work things out anymore. She wasn't around, not even in the same STATE anymore. I knew that if I called her she wouldn't pick up the phone. If I tracked her down wherever she was, she still wouldn't want to talk to me. Maybe I could force her to stop and sit down with me. But maybe that would only make things even worse. Something was deeply wrong with Dawn's head, but I was part of the problem. This was one situation I couldn't help her with.

Maybe we'd find each other again, somewhere down the road. Maybe we were just like Daniel and Elaine: needing a separation, needing some time apart. Maybe after Dawn went and lived her wild and crazy life, she'd come back to me.

Dawn owned my heart. I couldn't stop loving her if I tried. My heart would wait for her.

But this was just sex. And I wasn't waiting around anymore.

Lynne asked me to go easy on her. She told me she hadn't had anything as big as me inside her since the last time we did this, and she pleaded for me to be gentle.

So I was gentle. Every so often, it felt like my eyes were clouding over and blood red lust was taking control of my body, the way it had done those times with Gwen in the aftermath of Adrienne's breakup. But that was then; this was now. Lynne wanted gentle, and I could do gentle.

"So deep ... So full..." she groaned as she raised her legs up into the air behind me. I hooked my arms around them to keep them raised, pressing her knees back against her own chest to allow me even deeper penetration. And as I began nibbling on her neck and thrusting with increased vigor, I felt the tell-tale tremors of Lynne's orgasm approaching.

"Ben, I'm gonna cum again," she whimpered.

I just smiled down at her and sped up my pumping a little more. She looked so adorable, as if she were trying to make an ugly face the way she bared her teeth and grunted like a pig. Even so, the way her forehead furrowed and her lips snarled were cute in an innocent way. And when she threw her head back against the pillow behind her and screamed her climax, I chuckled and slow-dicked her through the orgasm.

That climax had been Lynne's fourth in only half an hour. Throughout the years that we'd had sex, she'd never been quite this quick-trigger, this easily multi-orgasmic. Later, she would admit to me that she'd been anticipating this moment for several weeks, ever since I showed up on her front door the first time. She'd tempered her expectations, knowing that I was coming off a bad breakup, but she couldn't help but fantasize about me at night.

Last night had been the worst for her. Even though I'd turned tail and run away, she'd floated home on Cloud 9 after our kiss. Blushing, Lynne later admitted that she'd fingered herself to a half-dozen orgasms before falling asleep, and then she'd spent all day wondering just what she would say to me when I finally came over.

When I didn't arrive immediately after my regular work day, she'd started to panic. She talked herself in circles, reminding herself that ours wasn't a relationship meant to be and that she shouldn't be fantasizing about me. But she did anyway, and by the time I actually showed up, she was so horny that she couldn't help but jump me.

Her first orgasm came right around the moment my pelvic bone pushed up against hers, signaling that I was at full depth inside her. She rode me to a second orgasm before she was out of breath, and let me roll her over so that I could give her a third missionary-style. That fourth one with her legs in the air had wiped her out, and as she went limp beneath me, turning her head to the side and drooling, she whimpered plaintively, "No more, I'm too tired. No more."

Nodding affirmatively, I slowly backed myself out and prepared to lie down beside her. She was even more adorable sexed-out, with her dark bangs plastered to her forehead by sticky sweat and a deeply-satisfied grin across her face. But before I fully disengaged, she reached up and grabbed my hips. "No, don't pull out. You have to cum in me."

"But you just said 'no more'," I reasoned.

Shaking her head, Lynne raised her left knee and started twisting to the side. She pushed at my chest, this time not stopping me when I pulled all the way out and sat back on my heels. And rolling onto her side, with her right leg extended and her left bent at the knee to open up her pussy, she moaned, "Just fuck me and cum. Don't hold back. I just wanna feel you spilling your hot essence inside me."

She gave me a sultry smile despite her exhaustion. I let my gaze trail down Lynne's naked back to her perky buttcheeks and the rosy peach pit below. Her labia were dark red, flushed with arousal and glistening from her repeated orgasms. So taking hold of her hips, I leaned over Lynne's back and slowly eased my dick into her from behind.

"Nnngghhoohhh..." she moaned as I filled her back up. She stuck her left hand out, planting it on the bed to brace herself. And then weakly, she rocked her hips back to meet me.

I did most of the work, and I still kept my thrusting gentle. It didn't take very long; I'd been primed from a half hour of fucking, only holding myself back because I wanted to give Lynne even more pleasure. But I wasn't holding back anymore, and within five minutes of rhythmic pumping, I felt my balls about to release their load.

"Unnghhh ... Lynne..." I groaned a warning.

"Ohhh, Bennn..." she moaned right back.

"Ungh ... Ungh..."

"That's it..." she sighed. "Cum! Cum inside me!"

"Ungh ... ungh ... UNGHHHH!" I grunted as I hit the boiling point.

"Yesss!" she hissed. "I can feel it!" Reaching her left arm back, she grabbed my ass and held me against her as my cock spat out wad after wad of creamy spunk into her juicing slit.

I arched my back, thrusting my belly into her while trying to get just a half-inch deeper, feeling the end of my prick already nudging against her cervix. "Unnnghhh..." I groaned.

"I can feel it! Spill your hot essence inside me!" Lynne cried, bending her head forward and rocking her hips side to side.

"Ungh!" I grunted a final time as I squeeze out the last drop. And then I collapsed forward, practically crushing the petite brunette to the mattress beneath me.

Lynne didn't mind. She took my extra weight and hummed happily when we were done, her left hand reaching back to rub my bare buttock.

And as I slowly deflated inside her, Lynne sighed and said, "Promise me something."

"Hmm?" I asked, my brain a little sluggish post-ejaculation.

"Promise me that no matter what happens the rest of this night, tomorrow after work you come back here so we can do this again. And bring a change of clothes so we can spend the entire weekend fucking each other's brains out."

Rubbing her shoulder gently, I thought of all the shit that had been going on in my recent life. Smiling happily, I leaned forward and kissed her bare shoulder. And then I replied, "Sounds like a good plan."

-- SUNDAY, JUNE 12, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

"Holy shit. You're still here?" Kady asked dumbly when I answered the door of Lynne's apartment.

I shrugged and glanced around my surroundings. "No, I'm not really here. I'm just a figment of your imagination."

With a smirk, Kady punched my chest lightly and then glanced at Noelle, who was standing beside her with a beaming smile on her face. Then returning to me, she shrugged. "We could hear you two all weekend. But when things went quiet last night and we didn't hear anything this morning, I assumed you'd gone home."

I blushed and looked directly up, to where Kady's and Noelle's apartment would be. "Are we really that loud?"

Kady chuckled. "You managed to turn quiet little Lynne into a screamer. And the Big Ben Legend strikes again!" she crowed.

"You would know," I shot right back before realizing my faux pas and darting a look at Noelle.

"Oh, no worries," Kady reassured me, before slipping an arm around Noelle's.

"Yeah," Noelle offered. "Kady told me about your history a long time ago."

I nodded in relief. "So what brings you two to Casa de Arian?"

"Oh, shit. I forgot!" Lynne suddenly announced as she came into the living room, walking a little gingerly.

Kady looked past me and noted Lynne's difficulty. "What happened? Sex-related injury?"

Lynne grimaced and came up beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Something like that. I decided to try anal sex for the first time last night."

My eyes goggled in surprise that Lynne had just come out and said that out loud.

"Wow," Kady whistled.

"How was it?" Noelle blurted before clapping a hand over her mouth.

"It was great!" Lynne cheered. "At least, once you get past the initial entry. Ben's kinda thick."

"I know." Kady shrugged before clarifying,"Uh, not the anal part. We never did that."

"Are we really talking about this?" I groaned. The girls ignored me.

"But I think I'm going to have to save that one for special occasions. I'm not very big back there, and I feel all stretched out and weird now." Lynne turned to me and patted my chest. "Sorry buster, but we're gonna have to do front door only for a while."

I just blinked, still stunned that we were having this discussion.

"So ... we still going? We can give you a few minutes to freshen up," Noelle offered.

Lynne nodded and patted my chest again. "Let's get dressed."

"Where are we GOING?" I wondered, a little spazzed out at this point.

"Oh, it's Sunday morning. The girls and I have been getting brunch together for months. C'mon. We need to get some calories in you, recharge the batteries so you can keep fucking my brains out all week. I want to experience that screaming-multiple-orgasm thing again."

Astonished, I let Lynne drag me by the hand back inside.

My plate was full of delicious omelet, bacon, and hash browns. But despite the wonderful smells rising up and filling my nostrils, I couldn't help but gawk at the conversation taking place around me.

It had been a whirlwind of a weekend that had shattered many of the perceptions I used to hold about one Lynne Arian. The diminutive brunette had been the model of reason in High School, more than once guiding Adrienne and me through the ups and downs of our 'nottogether' relationship with timely advice and unflinching support.

Yeah, there had been a few times when her sexual side came out, notably that crazy winter vacation at Big Bear and Adrienne's 19th birthday orgy at Mizuho's Newport Coast house after Freshman year. I never forgot what Lynne had told me the night of Adrienne's birthday, when I apologized for not having maintained contact with her even though Stanford was fairly close to Cal. She'd said, "I'm sorry, and you're sorry. So now that we're done with that, how about we forget about it and get to the fucking?"

THAT was the side of Lynne that had come out over the last few days. We didn't talk much. Well, we talked a lot, but most of it was meaningless chit-chat. Neither of us broached the subject of relationships, whether my failed relationship with Dawn or the status of our own friendship with each other. I didn't ask if she wanted to get romantic with me and she didn't either. Instead, we watched TV, laughed about the things we saw, ate, drank, and then went back to fucking.

It was a horribly wrong thing for me to think, but I might have expected such a sexual creature if Lynne had been taller, bustier, or flirtier. The girls built like Adrienne, Candy, and Heather simply exuded sex from their very pores. They dressed to attract attention, they ensured that their big tits were put on display, and they went out of their way to drop sexual innuendoes into everyday topics.

By contrast, Lynne Arian had always been the "nice" girl. She dressed well, neither slutty nor bookish. To be honest, at 5'3", slender, and with a B-cup, she didn't have as much as the others to put on display. Her verbal banter was cultured, reasoned, and thoughtful rather than flirtatious. And she exuded a quiet maturity beyond her years. Even the few times we'd had sex, she'd been ... controlled.

Well, this lady in the street had become a freak in the bed. She'd put in a porn DVD and then given me a blowjob on the couch. She had me fuck her across her dining table while drizzling canola oil over her chest. And yes, last night, she had me lube her up and take her cherry ass.

She didn't talk about romance or relationships. I didn't really want to talk about them either. She wanted to fuck, and I was willing to fuck her. That was the extent of things.

Until now.

"No, no. Absolutely not," Lynne was insisting across the table. "We're just friends, and we'll only ever BE friends."

"Oh, come ON," Kady was protesting. "I know for a FACT that you've had a crush on Ben since High School. Remember that Truth or Dare party over spring break last year?"

Lynne shook her head fiercely. "Are you kidding me? I know full well the relationship Ben just got out of. You think I want to be his rebound?"

"Aren't you already his rebound?" Noelle wondered aloud. "We've been living above you all year and I never heard sounds like that coming from below."

Lynne shook her head. "It's just sex. What? A girl can't have a booty call?"

"Not a booty call with HIM," Kady pointed out. She darted her dark eyes to me and actually bit her tongue before saying whatever else she wanted to say. Instead, she just mumbled, "You know why."

It was the second time this morning that Lynne, Kady, and Noelle were carrying on a conversation without me, despite my presence among them. THAT was why I couldn't even eat. I was too busy darting my head back and forth trying to figure out what was going on.

"So who made the first move?" Noelle asked, digging for details.

"Me, of course," Lynne explained.

"'Of course'?" Kady's eyes bugged out. "Seriously? I've known you for two years now, and I've NEVER seen you make the first move."

"This is different. This is Ben."

"Exactly! Don't you want something more out of this?"

"No. Absolutely not," Lynne sighed. "Didn't I say that already?"

"I just don't get it," Kady complained. "You've been in love with the man since High School and now that you've got him-. Oh, shit!" She clapped her mouth over her hands and her eyes opened up wide.

My eyebrows went up as I looked over at Lynne. "You've been in love with me since High School?"

"I'm sorry!" Kady apologized. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's no big deal," Lynne sighed, waving Kady off with her right hand, which still held a piece of pancake on the end of her fork. "She's exaggerating. I haven't been 'in love' with you all this time."

"That's not what you said over spring break," Kady jabbed.

Lynne sighed and shook her head side-to-side. "Little crush. Little crush," she repeated, holding up her left hand with thumb and index finger an inch apart. Looking at me, she added, "You knew that, even during that trip to Big Bear."

I remembered. Adrienne had blindfolded me and then tied me to a chair while the girls took turns sucking my cock until Lynne mounted me while I was unawares. We'd spent the night together, and in the end, Lynne admitted that she'd had romantic feelings for me and mourned that we would never again 'make love'. She knew I didn't have those kinds of feelings for her, and she vowed to move on.

"I thought we got past that," I said quietly.

"We did, we did," she stated emphatically before looking over at Kady, who was arching an eyebrow at her. "Well ... mostly. Kady's just blowing the whole Truth or Dare thing out of proportion. The question was: What one guy from my past did I regret not making a move on? And the answer was you."

Noelle replied quietly, "I guess you made your move."

"NO," Lynne stated emphatically. "That's the point. I never made a move on Ben for good reasons, reasons that still hold today. I was hot for him. Clearly, I'm STILL hot for him. But no real relationship can come out of this. Trying to piece together something romantic out of a rebound would be a disaster just waiting to happen. No way."

"Then what IS this?" I suddenly put in. Furrowing my eyebrows, I sighed and looked pitifully at Lynne. "What ARE we doing?"

She pursed her lips, sighing and reaching over to cover my hand with her own. Rubbing the back of my hand, she gave me a serious look and said, "This is just sex. You need it, and I want it. Other than that, we're friends. We've always been friends, and I'm hoping this doesn't change us."

I shook my head. "Sex always changes people."

"We've had sex before," she hedged.

I took a deep breath, and then looked at the hand Lynne was still holding. Staring deeply at me with soft brown eyes, she willed me to understand.

"I care about you. I care about you a lot," she said sincerely. "And yes, I even fell in love with you, once upon a time. But we're friends, and I'd like to continue being your friend. If we both get a little pleasure out of the deal, so much the better, right? If you're not comfortable with that, I can go back to the way things were. We can chalk this up to an insane, out-of-control weekend, and move on. Is that what you want?"

I thought about the past three days, about the 'out-of-control weekend' we'd just shared. It had indeed been fun. I was having sex again, and it was hard to feel depressed when the pleasure was so good. At a time when I'd never felt more alone, Lynne had been there for me. And even now, she wanted to continue being there for me, plus benefits.

"What I want is to thank you for being my friend," I said finally, turning my hand palm-up so that I could lace our fingers together. "You're right: I'm in no shape, emotionally, to start up another relationship. At the same time, I'd be lying through my teeth if I tried to say I didn't enjoy the past few days. Really, I've enjoyed the past few weeks, hanging out with you guys and spending a lot of evenings in your fine company." That last bit I directed to Kady and Noelle as well.

The girls all either smiled or nodded.

"I'm thankful for everything you all have done for me, and if it's alright with you," I began, looking now directly at Lynne. "I'd like to continue being 'friends' just the way we now are."

There was no mistaking the big, shit-eating grin that now covered the entire lower half of Lynne's face. She giggled, squeezed my hand, and actually shivered. "Fuck, I think I just had an orgasm. And now I've got the strongest urge to crawl under the table and give you a blowjob."

"Lynne," Noelle hissed, darting a look behind us. At the next table over, a young family was just sitting down to brunch. And the 10-year-old boy was gawking at Lynne like she'd just taken her top off.

"Hurry up and eat," Lynne barked at me. "And then we're going to go home and pick up where we left off."

-- MONDAY, JUNE 13, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

I stopped and stared for a long time at the bedroom. All the furniture was in the same places as before. The king-sized bed in the middle had been completely stripped, leaving only the mattress and box spring Dayna had first purchased brand new three years ago. The dresser was bare, as was the walk-in closet. Even when I'd moved my sheets downstairs into DJ's room, I hadn't completely emptied out my belongings.

But I'd emptied them out now.

It didn't really make sense to clean everything out. After all, I really only needed a few sets of summer clothes to get me through the next few months. I was still planning to return to this house in the fall for school, and I certainly could have left heavy winter jackets and many other items right where they were.

But this room had been mine AND Dawn's. While I'd intended to leave anything I didn't need right here, once I'd started packing I just couldn't bear to do so. The same way I had been unable to continue sleeping here, I was unable to leave behind my things. So I'd packed up everything, and anything I didn't need to put into the car I brought downstairs and stored in DJ's closet.

She wouldn't mind, come fall. In fact, DJ and Brooke would be thrilled to take the two upstairs rooms a year early. I had been happy in my freshman year bedroom. I could be happy again.

Sighing heavily, I took one last look at the emptiness of the room I'd shared with Dawn this past year. And as I stepped back and closed the door, I also closed the door on that part of my life. It was over. The past was past. And nothing could possibly ever let me return.

I sighed and thought of Kim when I went into the other bedroom. I hoped she was doing alright without me. The girl deserved better, deserved a Master who could love her the way she needed to be loved. And when I closed her door, I closed that part of my life as well.

I took the stairs slowly, looking left and right at the walls. We'd long ago put up framed pictures, photos of "The Family" as well as our closest friends. There were a lot of memories to look at as I descended. I remembered that first party when I'd suddenly gone to rescue Dawn from an overly amorous Aaron Collins. There was a photo of Adrienne proudly sitting in front of the vanity I'd built just for her. And there was even a photo of Dawn, DJ, Brooke, Kim, and me all sitting out on the front porch steps.

Happier times.

Times that were now a part of history, never to return.

I looked around the main floor, thinking of all the meals I couldn't cook in the kitchen, and from there to thinking of the gourmet dinners Dawn used to learn how to make on Thursday nights. It had been a Thursday night when she cheated on me. She was supposed to be in class. Instead, she was face down on Jaron's bed getting his big dick shoved up her ass.

I only realized I'd cracked a plate in my hands after it was broken and a few pieces fell to the floor. Sighing regretfully, I walked to the trash and threw away the big pieces before crouching down with a dustpan and sweeping the rest away.

Mistakes from the past, now over and done with, never to return.

Feeling like I wanted to get this over with, and to stop this self-destructive rumination, I washed my hands and then hurried out of the house. I did pause one time just outside the front door, looking into the vast emptiness.

For three years, this place had been my home.

For three years, this place had housed all my loved ones and been the framework around many a happy memory.

Not anymore. Now, it was just an empty shell of what used to be ... just like me.

Closing the front door, I closed up my past. After putting in the key, I took my hand away. It was shaking: my hand, not the key. I didn't want to do this.

But I did. I reached up once more and took hold of the key. And with finality, I slid the deadbolt closed.

I didn't linger. Turning around quickly, I jogged down the steps and hopped into the driver's seat of the Mustang. The trunk was packed and the backseat as well with all the belongings I would need for the rest of the summer. I had no intention of coming back until the school year started again.

Gunning the engine, I peeled out onto the street burning rubber. And I didn't look back.

Lynne met me at the door to her apartment, the place that would be my home for the rest of my summer internship at BioGen. She held me as I cried, and then gently carried me back into her bed.

In her arms, for a few moments at least, I found peace.

-- SATURDAY, JUNE 18, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

There really are few simple pleasures in life better than just laying out on a beach, feeling the ocean breeze ruffling through your hair while you look around and ogle all the female flesh you can find. Once upon a time, I would choose nakedness over bikini any day. But now that I'd grown up a bit – and honestly, seen more varied nakedness than any male deserved to in a full lifetime – I'd come to appreciate the subtle sexiness of a bikini.

Bikinis hinted without showing. Bikinis suggested without screaming. Bikinis titillated ... excited ... encouraged...

Bikinis made me want to see more.

I found it interesting that I'd come back to this period in my life. In my recent past, I had been surrounded by some of the most beautiful girls around in Adrienne, Dawn, Kim, Brooke, and DJ. I knew their bodies intimately. Even when fully clothed, I could call upon memory to show me the exact way their lush breasts curved, the exact shape of their thighs. And I could even remember – not fantasize about – what it felt like to have their nubile bodies wrapped around mine.

That wasn't the case with the girls around me now. There were six of them on the immediate strip of sand before me, and I'd only ever seen two of them completely naked: Lynne and Kady. I was well on my way to memorizing Lynne's 21-year-old body, but teenaged Kady was only a distant memory. And I'd never seen the other four wearing less than they were now.

Not that I ever expected to. Three of those four were pure lesbian, including Kady's girlfriend Noelle and the other couple Ricki and Emily. The fourth girl, Saffron, was bi; but so far she hadn't shown any interest in me. Still, none of them seemed to mind my roving eyes. And all of them wore only the tiniest wisps of fabric covering their goodies. So I ogled away, and found the warm flush through my limbs and slightly accelerated heartbeat to be quite pleasant.

Sinking deeper into my beach chair, I spread my legs and stretched them out in the sand. My hand reached out to the side, snagged the cold Corona beer bottle sitting atop the portable cooler, and I took a healthy swig. And I stared at all the girls before me.

Kady and Noelle were laying side-by-side and flat on their backs with oversized sunglasses shielding their faces. Kady's perky tits and Noelle's larger melons thrust into the air, drawing the attention of more than a few males. Noelle's bosom indeed was so big that from my particular angle, I could see the ocean under the front clasp of her bikini top and through her cleavage.

Ricki and Emily were not too far away from them, lying face-down and talking to each other. Emily was a pretty brunette, the clear girly-girl of the relationship who actually flirted with me on occasion. Ricki was the butch with short-cropped hair and even a men's-style fade, along with chunky jewelry and a nose-ring. But both women had well-toned bodies and pert buttcheeks put on display by their sheer bikini bottoms. And both girls had unhooked their bikini tops for a better all-over tan.

Lynne and Saffron, meanwhile, were just returning from a quick hop into the surf, chatting about something. As I saw them, I quickly grabbed up Lynne's towel and stood up, opening it for her. With a beaming smile, the pretty brunette turned her back to me and let me wrap her up in a big hug with the towel between us. And she giggled when I began to vigorously rub her, ostensibly to dry her off but also copping more than few feels here and there as well.

Saffron just smirked at us as she toweled herself dry a little more sedately. "Are you SURE you two aren't an item now?"

I shrugged and wished for the umpteenth time that I had my tape recorder. I'd searched the house for it twice before I moved out, unable to find the damn thing. And so I had to settle for parroting without the help of a recording, "We're just friends."

Giggling, Lynne turned around, grabbed the back of my head, and pulled me down into a searing kiss. While our lips were still locked together, Saffron shook her head and drawled sarcastically, "Riiight..."

Lynne pulled away with another giggle and then pointed to the beach chairs. "C'mon. I need you to put sunblock back on me again."

I nodded, sitting down in the chair while she knelt on a towel with her back to me. I squirted the sunblock into my palm, rubbed my hands together, and then began to stroke her shoulders and neck. On a whim, I slid my hands down the front of her chest to the upper slopes of her breasts. But before I got very far, Lynne quickly slapped my right hand.

I laughed and returned to "safer" zones. This was the way things had been with Lynne and me all week: unflinchingly affectionate, kissing me in public without embarrassment. But she wasn't slutty about it and she still maintained a relatively proper demeanor in public. Apart from that blowjob comment at brunch last week, she didn't even really talk about sex with her friends anymore. I chalked up her initial conversations with Kady and Noelle about anal sex and screaming-multiple-orgasms to sheer enthusiasm when we first got together. But now that some time had passed, she'd calmed down into the more sedate Lynne I used to know.

That slowdown also applied to the bedroom as well. After the first out-of-control fuckfest first weekend, Lynne's sex drive tapered off into something a little more manageable. We both had summer internships that occupied our time during the day, and she still wanted to hang out with her friends in the evenings. Oh, we'd had sex every night since I moved in, but even those encounters weren't the all-night marathons we could have had while experiencing new love.

Also, Lynne wasn't quite as sexually adventurous as some of the girls I'd known. While we'd had sex across most pieces of furniture in her apartment by now, that seemed to be the extent of her sexual kinkiness. She wasn't into bondage or spanking or anything like that. Her only toy was a simple vibrator she kept in her nightstand. And she wasn't really interested in trying out complicated gymnastic moves that would likely be more uncomfortable than pleasurable. Lynne loved the three classic positions: missionary, doggy, and cowgirl, and we pretty much stuck to those.

The other thing that signaled a slowdown was that I didn't sleep overnight in Lynne's bed anymore. The first weekend we'd both been so exhausted from crazy-monkey-sex that I just stayed in bed with her. And the first Monday night after I moved out of my house and into her apartment, she also cuddled me to sleep. But since then, after sex Lynne would send me back to my bedroom or would leave my bed to return to hers. She said it was important that we maintain our boundaries and remember that we were friends-with-benefits, not a romantic couple.

But I don't want to seem like I was disappointed. Far from it. Actually, Lynne's more deliberate pace was doing wonders for calming me down as well. I'd spent the weeks since Dawn's breakup vacillating between hermit-like depression, heart attack-inducing stress at work, and outright bawling like a little baby. Hanging out with Lynne and her friends had been the calmest time of my recent life. And now my "not-relationship" relationship with Lynne was even better. I had a routine: wake up, go to work, hang out with friends, and then quietly make love before going to sleep in my own room. I had a distracting job, I had the company of nice people, I had warm affection, and I even got laid.

I didn't worry about romancing a new girl: finding little ways to please her or surprise her with gestures like flowers and dates. I didn't worry about maintaining a girlfriend: getting to know her intimate secrets or providing emotional support. I didn't even have to worry about blowing Lynne's mind every night: stressing about how to give her bigger or better orgasms. She simply wanted to be around me, enjoying the connection with the man she was with more than the physical pleasure. And I enjoyed it, too.

It was the perfect way for me to start getting over Dawn.

One other nice thing about being "just friends" with Lynne was her complete lack of jealousy. The instant I finished rubbing sunblock all over her back, she got up and waved Saffron into position. "Your turn," she offered.

Saffron stopped rubbing her own sunblock on her arms and upper chest and looked to the empty spot. The pretty blonde shrugged and flashed me a wry grin. And after only a second's hesitation, she handed me her tube of sunblock and knelt where Lynne used to be.

Halfway through doing Saffron, Kady picked her sunglasses off her head and looked back at me upside-down. "Hey, Ben's giving backrubs?" she warbled in alarm, sounding put out that no one had informed her.

"Sunblock," Saffron corrected.

With a smirk at Kady, I switched my grip and pinched my hands into a backrubbing motion, working up Saffron's neck until she lolled her head forward and groaned in obvious pleasure. "Sunblock/Backrub combination," I stated.

"Ooh! I'm next," Kady chirped as she sat up, and then tapped Noelle's shoulder. "You too. We need to roll over anyway."

Sighing drowsily, Noelle glanced over at her girlfriend. "Um, if it's time to roll over, why don't YOU rub in my sunblock?"

"Yeah, that's what she's there for, isn't she?" I chimed in.

Kady just sizzled her blue eyes at me. "C'mon, Ben. Dontcha wanna rub your hands all over my body? I'll even pull my bikini into my crack and let you rub my ass."

"All done. Next!" I barked immediately with a toothy grin, tapping Saffron on her shoulders.

Kady giggled and scrambled to her feet. When Saffron moved out of the way and Kady took her place, the redhead nodded over to her girlfriend, who had rolled onto her belly and was now watching us. "You want to come over here and I'll do you while he does me?"

Noelle arched an eyebrow, giving Kady a curious look. At the same time, I had the sudden vision of me porking Kady from behind, fondling her perfect ass while she bent forward and tongued her girlfriend to orgasm after screaming orgasm. "Uhh..." I grunted like a caveman.

Kady chuckled and looked back and forth between both of us. "I didn't mean it THAT way. I meant sunblock."

Noelle raised an eyebrow. "Well now that you've put the image into my head, I think I'll pass." She looked over at me. "As long as Ben doesn't mind, I think I'll just wait until it's my turn. Sunblock/backrub combination sounds nice."

I grinned and nodded to her.

"Okay, no worries." But then Kady glanced back at me, a sparkle in her eyes. "But you know, that other thing sounds like it might be pretty fun as well."

Now I arched an eyebrow, wondering if Kady was really suggesting a threesome. But instead of commenting further, the auburn redhead simply leaned forward and sighed as I continued working sunblock into her back.

The way this girl joked around, who really knew?

-- MONDAY, JUNE 20, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

"Happy Birthday!!!"

"Aww ... you remembered!" Adrienne cheered over the phone.

"How could I forget? You're family now."

"Well, you didn't remember too well. Isn't it only the 20th in California?"

"But it's the morning of the 21st wherever you are. Mom told me you were in Europe somewhere."

"Yeah, yeah. It's barely past 8am, so thank you very much for waking me up," Adrienne mock complained. "It feels weird being halfway around the world on my birthday. I'm so used to celebrating these things with friends."

"There aren't any friends around you now?"

"Well ... colleagues. Other models and a few production people. There's this one photographer – total sleazebag who's been trying to get into my panties all week – who found out it's my 21st Birthday. I'm pretty sure he's going to try and get me wasted and naked tonight."

"Adrienne, are you sure you're okay?" I asked in a heated tone.

"Relax, relax," she laughed. "I'm a big girl and I'm used to this scene by now. There are ALWAYS guys trying to get into my panties, every day of my life. It is what it is, and I can handle myself."

"So where ARE you?" I asked into the receiver.

"I'm not sure you want to know."

"Please?"

"Amsterdam."

"Land of legal marijuana and prostitution?"

"You got it."

I sighed and felt that protective urge surging up through me. "Are you SURE you've got this handled?"

"Relax, relax, Mr. White Knight. I'll be fine. Besides, I've got to be on my best behavior these days. I ... uh ... Well I kinda met someone. She's waiting for me back in New York."

"Really? That's great!" I enthused happily. "Who is she?"

"Her name is Caroline and she's a junior editor at Vogue. I'd introduce you sometime, but she's 100% dyke."

"No worries. So are you just dating or is she like a serious girlfriend now?"

"We'll see. We've been seeing each other off and on for a few weeks now, but things are starting to get serious. Maybe we'll make it official when I get back to the States. If that happens, I'll probably find myself spending a lot more time in the Big Apple instead of coming back to San Francisco. I feel like I barely see you and the rest of the family as it is."

"It's okay. We're family. We'll always be here for you. I should worry more about Felicia missing her roommate who's always out on the road."

"Puh-lease. James has practically moved into the apartment by now, so Felicia's doing just fine. Speaking of which, I'm hearing that you're doing just fine yourself nowadays. Brooke was telling me you've got a new 'girlfriend'."

I glanced beside me, where Lynne was sitting with an elbow against the couch's backrest just watching me talk to Adrienne. "Uh, we're not actually together..."

Adrienne laughed. "Now where have I heard that before?"

I chuckled, thinking back to our own history.

"Is Lynne there? Can I talk to her?"

"Uh, sure."

Raising my eyebrows, I handed the phone to Lynne.

"Adrienne? Heyyy..." Lynne began with a wide smile. She giggled and explained, "Of course I'm taking care of him."

Adrienne said something else, something that made Lynne blush. And while batting her eyelashes at me, Lynne told her High School friend, "Yes, I'm taking care of him."

A sudden thought seized me. There had been times in my past when one girl or another got it into her pretty little head to give me a blowjob while I was on the phone, forcing me to try and keep a level voice while her supple lips and hot mouth bobbed up and down my prick.

Turnabout was fair play, so with an evil grin, I sank to my knees on the floor and reached up to start pulling down Lynne's pajama bottoms. It was late evening for us, and we were both dressed for bed. The simple elastic wasn't difficult for me to yank down, and I suddenly had a squirming cute brunette in front of me bare-assed on the couch while I spread her legs.

"Ben! Ben!" Lynne stammered while bopping the back of my head.

Adrienne asked something, and Lynne actually groaned. "He's trying to eat me while I'm talking to you!"

I arched an eyebrow. Whenever a girl gave me a blowjob while I was on the phone, explaining that a girl was giving me a blowjob wasn't exactly an option. But Lynne had just said it, and I could actually hear Adrienne laughing on the other end of the line.

Oh well. I was down here already. I managed to lick Lynne to one quiet climax while she caught up with her old friend. And then Lynne tapped the phone itself against the back of my head until I got up, wiped my face with a tissue, and took the phone back.

"Hey Adrienne," I said in greeting, to catch up once again.

"Your turn," my adoptive sister warned me over the line.

"Huh?" I wondered just before Lynne gave me an evil grin and yanked the waistband of my pajama pants down. I'd gotten semi-hard just from the pleasure of licking Lynne's pussy. And presently, the pretty brunette had taken my cock in hand, stroking it before bending her head down and taking a long lick around my mushroom head.

Adrienne sighed dreamily. "I'm lying in bed with my left hand cupping my boobs and my right hand between my legs," she informed me. "And I want you to tell me ... in explicit detail ... what Lynne is doing to you right now."

Well, I couldn't deny the girl on her birthday, could I?

-- FRIDAY, JUNE 24, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

Laughing at Lynne's latest joke, I shook my head and signed my name at the bottom of the receipt. Closing up the bill, I tossed it onto the table and then pushed my chair back.

Chuckling along with me, Lynne reached behind her chair to grab her cardigan, pulling it on before pushing her chair back as well. I was already standing beside her when she got to her feet. Reaching out for my hand, she intertwined her fingers with mine, and I led her out of the restaurant.

"If someone had asked you three years ago if you could imagine us doing this now, would you have believed them?" I asked off-hand.

Lynne thought about that and shook her head. "Never in a million years."

"And why not? Three years ago, you knew you were coming to Stanford and that I was going to Cal. That's not so far away."

She shook her head. "No way. Not us."

I arched an eyebrow at her. "But why not? Because we were just friends in High School? Because we didn't think of each other that way?"

Lynne blushed and looked down as we stepped off the sidewalk and crossed the parking lot. "No, not that. It's just ... Let's face it: you were out of my league."

I frowned. "What?"

"C'mon. When we graduated, you were with Adrienne. Let's think about that for a moment: Adrienne's 5'10", gorgeous, with long blonde hair and a body that made Sports Illustrated. Now look at me."

I did. "You're beautiful," I said quite honestly.

She shook her head. "Not like her."

"There's more to a relationship than looks."

Lynne shrugged. "I've met Dawn, too. Same deal: tall, beautiful, smokin' body. With those eyes and that face, I think she's even prettier than Adrienne."

I frowned. "So what's your point?"

Lynne just sighed. "I'm not your type."

"I don't have a 'type'."

Lynne just gave me a look.

The notion of me having a 'type' rang an old part of my brain. "Allie Sanders used to tell me she wasn't my 'type'. I still went out with her, and Megan Kwan, too."

"You left BOTH of them for Adrienne."

"Because of Adrienne specifically. My relationships with Allie and Megan didn't work out for their own reasons, not because I was trading them up to meet my 'type'."

"Whatever."

I stopped us in the parking lot. We were right beside my car, but I made no move to unlock it. Using my handhold on Lynne to pull her around to face me, I frowned at her and asked, "Is THAT why you want us to stay 'just friends'? Because you think I'm going to leave you for some tall, busty blonde?"

Lynne didn't answer except to look down and away from me.

"I'm not out of your league. I've never been 'out of your league'," I insisted. "I'm just a guy, trying to figure my way through this world the best I can. I've had my ups and downs. I've had my heart broken. And I desperately hope I can find someone I'll spend the rest of my life with. Who's to say that's not you?"

"It's not," Lynne said quietly.

"Why not? And don't give me some crap that you think you're not tall enough or pretty enough for me."

"Do you love me?"

That stopped me short. We'd been... "together" was the wrong word. We'd been fucking for more than two weeks now. Even though she wouldn't let me sleep overnight with her, we shared our evenings and weekends together. We spent our private time alone together. And we had sex with each other. But love?

"Do you?" I asked instead of answering.

Lynne pursed her lips and avoided my eyes. "I can't. I won't."

"What? You won't let yourself fall in love with me?"

"We can't be together," Lynne sighed.

"Why not?"

"Because we just can't!"

"We already are. Do you see me going out to dinner, alone, with any of the other girls? Do you see me coming home and sharing some silly thing that happened at work with anyone else? Do you see me kissing, holding, making love to anyone else? It's just you, Lynne. It's only you. And I'm happy about that."

"We can't be together," she insisted.

"Argh!" I threw my hands up and spun away from her. What was it with these girls? Adrienne, Allie, and now Lynne all wanted to be 'nottogether' with me. When I thought about it, there had been many other girls who slept with me, but didn't want any romantic involvement with me.

Maybe it wasn't these girls. Maybe it was ME. What the hell was wrong with me? What was it about me that made these girls want to fuck me, but not actually BE with me? Was this the way things would be for the rest of my life? Used for my cock but never happily married?

Turning back to face Lynne, I leaned down and wrapped my arms around her waist. She gave me a disapproving look, but didn't resist as I drew her in against me, bringing us chest to chest as I gazed down at her. "Do you LIKE me?"

"Of course."

"I mean, 'like-like', as in ... more than just a friend."

"Of course," she sighed. "Like you've pointed out, all the things we're doing together are much more than what ordinary friends do."

"Then why are you drawing a line between us? Why won't you consider getting closer to me?"

Lynne shook her head. "I HAVE considered it; that's just the point. I've considered it and decided it's best for me not to do."

"Why not?"

"I can't get close to you. I'm the moth and you're the flame. If I get too close to you, I'll just end up getting burned."

I frowned. "That's pretty cynical."

"It's an educated conclusion. I know that sometimes it seems like I'm falling head over heels for you, but I'm doing my damndest to stay grounded. I've said it before: trying to build a romantic relationship out of this rebound has disaster written all over it."

"You don't know that."

"But I do think it's probable." Lynne reached up and touched my face. "I like you. I like you a lot. But I know you. Really, I'm not your type."

"Yeah, well maybe I'm done with 'my type'!" I spat almost angrily. "What did dating girls like Adrienne and Dawn ever get me? Heartbreak."

"Just like it would be if I tried dating you," Lynne replied seriously. "Heartbreak. I don't want you breaking my heart. Not again."

"Again?" I asked with a frown.

Frowning, Lynne suddenly pushed me away. Fighting back tears, she marched around to the passenger side of the car. And whimpering softly, she asked, "Can we please go home?"

Hanging my head, I took a deep breath and then reached into my pocket to unlock the car. Lynne was already seated and buckled in before I opened my door. And we drove the entire way back to her apartment in silence.

Upon arrival, Lynne led the way inside and went straight to her bedroom, closing the door and locking me out. Going after her, I knocked several times while pleading for her to talk to me. But she didn't answer except to say, "Go away!"

Frowning, I realized that this would be the first night since hooking up that we would not be having sex. With a sigh, I finally just yelled through the door, "This is an 'angry girlfriend' kind of thing to do!" And then I turned away to leave her alone.

-- SATURDAY, JUNE 25, 2005, SUMMER BREAK --

I felt something tickle my balls; and with a start, I jerked awake.

"Mmph!" somebody groaned; and as I sat up, I realized I'd just shoved my dick an inch into a girl's throat. She gagged, pulling away and coughing before taking in deep, big gulps of air. And as my conscious brain awoke to the sounds of someone in distress, I cracked my eyes open.

Lynne hovered over me, looking a little green around the gills but returning to normal rapidly. She panted softly, giving me a lopsided grin. "You're certainly the biggest guy I've ever tried that on."

I immediately thought of last night's fight. As I had done many times in the past, I'd pressured a girl I cared about into a more serious relationship than she was ready for. Each and every time, doing so had backfired on me.

Lynne had very good reasons not to want to get too serious with me. She was right: I was only a month past a very, very serious breakup. My attempts at romantic intimacy were largely driven by rebound, by the compulsive need for closeness to fill the void I'd so recently lost. I couldn't tell Lynne that I loved her. All I could really say was that I was lonely, and that I wanted her to make me "not lonely" anymore.

I raised a hand up to Lynne's cheek and apologized. "I'm sorry for last night. I was out of line, and-"

She shushed me with a finger to my lips. "Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong. And you didn't say anything I haven't thought of myself a hundred times."

"But I still shouldn't have pushed you."

She shook her head. "You have every right to ask me where this is going. You're right: We're more than just friends. I didn't plan on this. I wasn't really thinking of just how intimate things would be once you moved in and we started spending ALL of our time together. But it happened. And we are now who we are."

"Who are we?"

"I think you and Adrienne had it right: 'nottogether'. Let's face it: we ARE together, in everything but name. We spend all our time with each other. I'm not trying to find anyone else. You're being completely monogamous. And I'm already closer to you than I'd been to my last two boyfriends. But I can't be 'together' with you in name, can you understand that? I need to hold onto some idea that we're not actually a couple, not actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Because if we were never together, then we can't break up. Even when you finally move on from me, you won't actually be 'moving on' from me."

"Maybe I'll never move on from you."

"You will, Ben. You will."

I furrowed my eyebrows, willing her to understand. Lynne was sweet. Lynne was special. Lynne had given me so much, supported me so much, and she deserved to be rewarded for that. I wanted to care for her. I wanted to love her. And I had no intentions of leaving her.

Don't you? my conscience asked. Face it, dude. If Dawn showed up on your doorstep and pleaded for you to take her back, you'd do it in a heartbeat.

My mouth went dry, and I looked at her with a pained expression. She saw the change in my eyes, and I thought I saw her heart break just a little bit as she saw it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled quietly, trying to apologize for something that was still yet to come.

"Don't be," she replied, holding back a sniffle. "I knew what I was getting into when I started this."

But she didn't know. She'd thought she could just get the fantastic sex while I was single, and that we would otherwise maintain the bond of friendship and trust we'd had since High School. But she'd already gotten in deeper than she wanted, already gotten closer than she'd planned. One day, maybe not tomorrow and maybe not anytime soon, I would move on from her. And when that day, her heart would be at least a little bit broken.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

Now a tear did roll down her cheek. But quickly, she raised her left hand to brush it away. And taking a deep breath, she collected herself and re-focused. Stroking my morning wood with her right hand, she stared at the purple mushroom head. And speaking directly to my cock, she stated, "But you're not moving on today. Today, you're all mine."

And then her mouth descended around my dick once again.