Knowing His Family
The five-member band - Celestials- were more of a family as they shared many struggles during their trainee days. Obviously, they wanted to be together with each other at the moment of their member's struggle.
After some convincing, Lee Yong agreed to move back into their dorm for the time being. After moving back temporarily, he immersed himself in researching his brother's sexuality.
But at the same time, he spoke to his mother often. Not to talk about her conduct with his little brother or the family issue. But to notice his mother's behaviour and attitude.
Not even once did his mother tell him about his brother walking out of the family.
Not even once did his mother expresses sadness over his missing little brother.
Not even once did his mother scold him for being careless about sasaeng fans, but she scolded his younger brother for not protecting him well from the sasaeng fans.
His mother complained a lot about Lee Whan, stating how useless he had become for not protecting the elder brother and how he became more defiant with the family. She went to the extent of calling him an arrogant unfilial son who did not care for the family after they did everything for him.
Whenever his mother called his little brother an unfilial brat, he wanted to laugh at her hypocrisy. But he did not do it as he knew he was one of the primary causes of his little brother's pain as much as his parents were.
He let his mother run her mouth against his little brother.
Only anger could show his true self, and he wanted to see his mother's true self.
He wants to know about his family. Their true face.
When he realised how he overlooked his mother's blatant hatred for Lee Whan, Lee Yong hated himself as many questions rose in his mind.
'How self-absorbed was I to not realise the mess in the family?'
'How much of an idiot was I to not see my little brother's struggled?'
'How did I never see anyone's true face?'
'I am not qualified to call his little brother after I failed to be his elder brother.'
After reading through the internet for two days straight, Lee Yong understood demisexuality to an extent. But he was confused, lost, ten-page full of questions, and his head was throwing like something was smashing inside it constantly.
Lee Yong looked down as he wondered when he started to take notes. And when the notes changed to questions and queries. Looking at the ten-page full of questions, he understood his dad's words. 'When I read about it, the more I read, the more I got confused. But reading about it is better.'
Reading definitely did help, but he decided to speak to his brother like his dad suggested to be more precise.
When he began the search about demisexuals, he came across a quote about sexuality from Maurice Godelier.
'It is not sexuality which haunts society but society which haunts the body's sexuality.'
Now that he looked at the questions, he felt it was so right, and he felt helplessness seeping through him.
How society could not accept one's sexuality and alienates them simply for loving someone their heart wants.