mama's boy -ksj

Lari: the crown of victory

…

"Seokjin? Can you come and help me, please?" Lari pleaded, Seokjin excused himself and walked to his wife.

"What do you need?" he asked with crossed arms.

"Weren't they supposed to come in two days? Her friend's wedding is on Friday and it's Wednesday today." Lari whispered.

"Yeah, but my mom mixed up the dates. She called me in the morning and asked me if it was okay to come over a bit earlier and I agreed," Seokjin explained.

Lari ran her hands through her pixie hair, it wasn't the first time that his mom mixed up dates. In the six years she was married to Seokjin his mom has always used that as an excuse to suddenly barge into their lives.

"So, you're telling me that she informed you beforehand and you didn't tell me? If I knew, I would've prepared something decent." Lari whined as she pulled Seokjin's sleeve softly.

"It doesn't matter, they're here anyway," Seokjin answered with a shrug.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter? It's past lunchtime and I didn't prepare anything! Look at me, I'm drenched in sweat from cleaning the house!" Lari hissed angrily.

"Relax, Lari it's not a big deal," Seokjin muttered annoyed. He didn't want to deal with her tantrum, his mom nagging at him a couple of minutes ago was enough.

"Is everything okay?" the couple turned to see Seokjin's mom walking into the kitchen with a worried expression.

Lari smiled and shook her head. "Don't worry, everything is okay. I was just catching up with him." Lari said as she linked her arms with Seokjin, who smiled in return.

His mom nodded and walked around the kitchen. "I see that you haven't prepared anything for our arrival. Goodness gracious, why do you look like you haven't showered in days, dear?" she scrunched her nose and scanned her daughter in law's appearance. Lari was wearing a white shirt and worn-out leggings. Lari shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other as his mother shook her head in disapproval.

"I would have prepared something if someone had notified me earlier." Lari cleared her throat as she shot a glare at Seokjin when his mom wasn't looking. Seokjin in return rolled his eyes at her childish acts and put an arm around his mom.

"Let's go to the living room mom, Lari will be done with the food in a flash." Seokjin chirped as he walked out of the kitchen leaving Lari glaring at the back of his head. If his parents weren't here, she would've thrown the closest thing to her on his head.

"Damn tadpole", she scowled as she walked to her room changing into a floral dress. Lari inspected her reflection, making sure that the dress hid her bump, as she hasn't told anyone about her pregnancy yet. She grabbed a dry shampoo and sprayed it on her hair hoping that it would get rid of the greasiness in her hair.

Lari made her way to the fridge with a heavy heart not knowing where to start. She inspected the fridge looking for ingredients that she could cook with. After a while, she decided to go with a lasagne, mashed potatoes and steak.

Two hours later the food was on the table and the Kim family was seated in the dining room. Lari was delighted as she saw the happy faces of her in-laws gawking at the food she made. She placed the hot lasagne on the table and waited for everyone to sit down.

She sighed in relief as everyone settled down. Finally, she could rest her tired legs. Lari took a seat next to Seokjin who was sitting opposite to his parents.

"I thought you were cooking a feast since it took you so long, but I guess you weren't." Seokjin's mom said as she eyed the food in disapproval. Seokjin's father cleared his throat as he nervously glanced at his wife and then at a hurt Lari.

"I'm sorry for the food, I wanted to cook you something better, but I didn't go grocery shopping today," Lari admitted as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"The steak is so good." Her father in law chimed, interrupting the conversation, as he stuffed another piece in his mouth. Lari smiled gratefully at her father in law, he always acknowledged her efforts.

"It's not that special, the steak I make is better, right Seokjin?" her mother in law looked at Seokjin.

Seokjin stopped chewing his food as he hesitantly glanced at his wife, he knew that Lari put a lot of effort in the cooking, but he had to admit that his mom's steak was better, so he nodded in agreement.

His mom smirked at her daughter in law, before chewing the food happily. Lari bit her lip as sadness engulfed her. Her mother in law's disapproval wasn't something new, she never liked Lari because she took her only son away from her.

Despite all her efforts over the years, to win the love of her mother in law that woman didn't budge.

Mrs Kim's words didn't hurt her as much as the nod Seokjin gave his mom seconds ago. Lari was self-conscious and Seokjin knew that better than anyone, but he still agreed with his mom.

After dinner was done, the Kim family moved back to the living room, leaving the dinner table untouched for Lari to clean. Lari dragged her swollen feet to prepare the dessert for her guests.

"This is going to be a long day." she groaned softly under her breath. She rummaged through the fridge and sighed in relief when she found the cupcakes, she baked two days ago. Lari placed the cupcakes on the tray and turned the coffee machine on.

"Coffee and cake, the best combination," she rested her eyes welcoming the scent of freshly brewed coffee.

Lari walked to the sink and started washing the dishes. Normally Lari would always wash the dishes after the guests leave, but today she was grateful for any moment away from her mother in law.

She finished cleaning the dishes and started pouring the coffee in mugs. Lari walked out, her hands holding a tray full of cupcakes and three mugs of coffee.

After giving everyone their mug of coffee, Lari finally had the chance to catch her breath. Her swollen legs were throbbing, and her shoulders ached.

"The cupcakes are amazing Lari", Mr Kim gave her two thumbs up as he took another cupcake.

"Thank you, I'm glad you like them", her eyes smiled along her lips. Lari mentally prepared the speech to announce the delightful news of her pregnancy.

"What happened to your hair dear?", Mrs Kim asked her daughter in law as she pointed at her hair.

"Oh, I chopped it off", she chuckled as she ran her tiny fingers through her pixie haircut.

"Did my son approve to this?", his mother turned to Jin with wide eyes. Lari mentally rolled her eyes. Mrs Kim always put empathise on the words 'my son'. As if Seokjin was a property she claimed.

"Why would I need his approval?"

"He's your husband?"

"I know, but it's my hair", Lari answered carefully, hoping that her answer did not anger her mother in law.

But the damage was done. Her mother in law gasped at her answer. Her eyes widened as her hand flew to her neck she felt her neck stiffening as her blood pressure rose.

"Unbelievable. I mean what did I expect. The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew that you were trouble", his mother huffed annoyed.

Lari bit her inner cheeks as she sat straighter, knowing exactly what she'd say next. Every time she came over, she would always criticize every and anything about Lari. It wasn't new, but Lari couldn't seem to get used to it.

"I mean look at her, she's been married to my son for six years. Six long years and she still didn't give him a child!", his mother roared. Lari's heart dropped at the harsh words. She felt her fragile heart get torn apart and stepped on multiple times as her mother in law continued throwing insults at her.

"Enough", Mr Kim warned.

"No! I'm not even halfway through. This girl is a dishonour to our family! Why did she get married if she is infertile", his mom hissed her eyes shooting daggers at the girl.

"What?", Lari whispered, her mouth open in surprise. What did they mean with her being infertile?

"I'm sorry mom. I'll bring her to the doctor", Jin rushed to answer before Lari had the chance to say anything.

"Wait a minute, what's going on?", Lari looked at her father in law, surprised by the pitiful glance he gave her.

"If my son didn't marry you then he would've had a five-year-old child by now!", his mother snarled as she pointed her finger accusingly at her.

"What is she talking about", Lari held Jin's hand urging him to explain the situation.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this", her father in law deep voice made her turn her attention to him "But Jin told us that you're infertile and that's why you haven't been able to get pregnant."

Lari glanced at Jin begging him to interfere, to tell his mom that she wasn't, but as soon as their eyes met, he looked away.

A scoff escaped her lips, he didn't stand up for her all those years, why would he do it now.

Lari was about to swallow her anger but then she remembered the fact that she was pregnant. Suddenly the image of her unborn child being born in this environment flashed in front of her eyes.

The way his grandmother would belittle his every decision and try to control her child's life. The way Seokjin would watch his mother do all the things without standing up for his child. How his grandfather would just sit back and listen, just like his son.

No, she won't allow her child to grow up in this messed-up environment, so the next move she does leaves everyone speechless.

Lari turned to Jin and connected her hand to his cheek and the room went silent.

"What the hell, did you just slap me?", Jin stood up, towering over her. His jaw clenched in anger as his cheek throbbed in pain.

"Yes, I slapped you. I have had enough of this crap. I endured six miserable years with you and now I've had enough. I'm not going to cower and bow down to you nor to that controlling mother of yours. I will not allow you to step over me. There are boundaries and you've stepped over them a fucking decade ago."

His mother gasped as she heard the multiple curses flow out of her mouth.

"You should save that surprised expression of yours for what I am going to say next", Lari smirked as she glanced at Jin who looked at her with wide eyes afraid of what she'll say next.

"Do you want to know why I didn't get pregnant all those years? It's because of the oh so perfect son you fucking treasure. He is the one who's lacking in the downstairs area. It's not me, it your son who can't do his duties as a husband. So, I guess your plans of marrying him off to someone else are all useless now."

"What are you talking about? That isn't true, right Seokjin?", his mother whispered as she shook her son, waiting for his answer. Seokjin didn't spare his mother a glance as he gripped his wife's arm pulling her to his chest with force.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?", he hissed as he tightened his grip.

"Something I should've done ages ago", Lari whispered as she glared at him, not backing down. She was done of being afraid, done of being used and controlled.

"For six years I gave you everything I had. With everything, I mean everything single thing. My time, my body, my heart and every ounce of dignity I had. But you kept taking and taking without giving me anything in return. At first, I thought that it was my fault. That I didn't love you enough, so I decided to be more understanding and do whatever the fuck you wanted me to do. But after a while, I noticed that this was not my fault nor was it your fault. It was your mother's fault for making you this selfish. You grew up receiving so much love that you took mine for granted", she paused to catch her breath, before continuing.

"You took so much until nothing to was left. I had to break myself into pieces to satisfy your needs. But do you know what hurt me the most? The fact that your mom was constantly stepping and tearing me apart with her words and you didn't even step up for me. Also, how you accused me of infertility instead of telling your parents the truth. I almost forgave you for all that, but today the image of our future kids growing up in this environment flashed through my mind and I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs.

I don't want my child to grow up in this toxic place. I want my child to grow up being pampered and loved by your parents, not judged and controlled. I want it to do whatever it wants to do. I want my baby to experience life in all its aspects", Lari ranted as she looked Seokjin in the eyes. She tried to keep her voice stable, but it croaked as her eyes welcomed a new set of tears.

With every word that was coming out of Lari's mouth, Seokjin felt his world shatter around him. The perfect life he thought he was living crumbled in front of him. His wife looked so pale, her previously flush cheeks were paler than he has ever witnessed. It ripped him apart knowing that he was the cause of all this pain she felt.

"Baby please, let's work this out. I can't live without you", Seokjin reached up to her, his large hands cupping her cheeks.

"Then stop letting your mom control your life. I want the Seokjin that fought for us six years ago", she whispered as she stroked his hands with her thumbs.

She saw the hesitation in his eyes before he looked away. Lari bit her lip, scared of what will come out of his mouth.

Their eyes locked again and she started searching for something that could give her a reason to stay, a reason to fight for them.

"I can't", his raspy voice said.

Lari froze in her place, unable to comprehend what Seokjin said. Her broken heart shattered to pieces. Tears started rolling down her cheeks and soon the tears she held for all those years flowed out.

She looked around and met the smirking face of her mother in law and that's when she realised it. He was never going to choose her over his mother. Lari has never been a priority for him and never will be.

"Then I can't either", she pushed his hands away from her wet cheeks and walked out of the apartment. She stood outside the apartment and took a deep breath as she wiped her tears away with shaky hands.

She was strong, she could survive. If not for her but at least for the baby growing inside.

Seokjin felt the lump in his throat grow bigger with every step Lari took. He wanted to run and hold her in his arms. He wanted to beg for her to come back. But he knew that he'd never escape the claws of his mother and that's why he decides to let the love of his life go.

Lari stood in front of the apartment, hoping for Seokjin to run out and hug her to assure her that everything would be alright. She knew the moment he'd to that, she'd immediately forgive him.

She waited and waited, but the door remained closed.