13. Thirteen

Lucifer has the car keys in his pocket, but unlike he did at the beach, he doesn’t offer them to Chloe.

She isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. She doesn’t ask. She slides into the passenger seat of Dan’s cruiser without comment, and then buckles her seatbelt as Lucifer starts the car. She glances at him as he pulls away from the curb, but his face is an impassive mask. She can’t read him. She wants to ask him if he’s okay, but she knows he’s not. She has a feeling he needs some time to gather his thoughts, so she presses her lips together and stares out the windshield. He seems to be driving with a purpose, though she has no idea where he’s taking her. They can’t go back to the penthouse, and they can’t go to her place. Where else can they go? 

She’s struck, all of a sudden, by how much has changed in just a week. Last week they were driving toward Linda’s house for family dinner, flirting and laughing and happy. Now they’re driving away from Linda’s in a deathly silence, and the world seems to have gone to hell. 

“Amenadiel didn’t answer me,” Lucifer says quietly. 

Chloe looks over at him in surprise. “What?”

He tightens his fingers around the steering wheel. “Amenadiel,” he repeats. “He didn’t respond.”

“Is that normal?”

“No.”

Chloe frowns. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“I’ve no idea.”

Chloe waits for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. Fear wells up in her throat like vomit. She swallows it down and looks out the window. She’s not the kind of person who panics, but it’s hard to ignore the fluttering of anxiety in her chest. Everyone they know has gone insane, and the one person they were hoping would have answers is unreachable. What the hell are they supposed to do now?

Lucifer’s hand slides over her knee. “I know you’re frightened, Detective,” he says softly.

“Aren’t you?” she asks, turning to look at him. 

He blinks in surprise. “Well I…” 

He trails off. Chloe wonders if he’s choosing not to say anything because he can’t lie and he doesn’t want to admit the truth. She looks out the window and chews her lip.

“I will admit I’m unsettled,” Lucifer murmurs after a while. “Amenadiel is annoyingly reliable, and it doesn’t bode well that he’s either out of reach or not listening.”

Chloe doesn’t say anything. Lucifer’s hand is still on her knee. He strokes his thumb over her skin. 

“I am unsettled by the Doctor as well,” he continues. “I didn’t expect her to…” He clears his throat. “I thought she, at least, might be on my side.”

Chloe looks at him. “She was.”

He frowns. “Did you not hear anything she said?”

“I heard it. But before you came out, she was different. She was trying to fight it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean while you were trying to get in touch with Amenadiel, she kept bouncing back and forth. One minute she was the real Linda, telling me that you’ve changed and you’re vulnerable again for my sake, and then she’d flip and act like everyone else.”

Lucifer’s frown deepens. “What did she say about my vulnerability?”

“You remember how Amenadiel said you were choosing to be vulnerable around me? Like, you did it because you wanted to?”

“Yes.”

“Well apparently Linda—the real Linda—thinks you weren’t just responding to your own desire. You were responding to mine.”

“Yours?”

“Yeah. I wanted you to be vulnerable, and you wanted to give me what I wanted, but you didn’t know how, so you made yourself physically vulnerable. When Dan shot you, you became bulletproof because you knew that’s what I’d want. And then when you realized that your invulnerability upset me, you changed back.”

“Hm,” Lucifer says thoughtfully. Chloe watches him carefully, curious about how he’ll react. He looks puzzled for a moment, but then he nods. “That makes sense.”

Chloe blinks. “It does?”

“Well of course. I don’t just draw out people’s desires, Detective. I enjoy fulfilling them as well. So it’s a perfectly reasonable assumption that I would respond to what you desired.”

Chloe’s heart sinks. “So it’s not actually about me,” she says. “You would’ve become vulnerable for anyone if that’s what they wanted.”

He scoffs. “Well of course not, Detective.”

Chloe frowns. “No?”

“No. I enjoy fulfilling desires, but I’m not compelled to do it. I do it if and when I choose. And apparently I chose you. Repeatedly.” He smiles. “You must be quite pleased to hear that my relapse into vulnerability is, in fact, your doing.”

“No,” she says, shaking her head. 

The smile on his lips fades. He pulls his hand back from her knee, and Chloe feels suddenly cold. 

“What do you mean no? ” he says, his eyes darting back and forth between her and the road. “I thought you wanted me to be vulnerable.”

“Lucifer, I—”

“You were upset and I fixed it. I fixed it for you. So you wouldn’t worry about my feelings for you. So you’d be happy.”

He doesn’t just look confused anymore, he looks hurt. And she doesn’t want that.

“Lucifer,” she murmurs, reaching for his arm.

He jerks away from her touch, and the car swerves with his movement. “You’re not happy with me.”

The pain in his voice breaks her heart, and she knows that after everything that happened with Linda, there are a lot more layers to the phrase you’re not happy with me than just this specific context. She also knows they can’t have this conversation while he’s driving. The last thing they need right now is to end up wrapped around a tree.

“Lucifer, pull the car over.” 

“No,” he says petulantly. The car speeds up. 

She gives him a look. “Pull the car over, Lucifer. Now.”

He huffs out an exasperated breath, but he yanks the wheel to the side and pulls the car over. He slams on the brakes so hard Chloe lurches a little in her seat, and then he shoves the gear shift into park.

“Are you happy now?” he asks, glaring out the windshield. “I did as you desired. Although apparently that’s not enough to make you happy.”

Chloe sighs. She turns in her seat to face him. “Can you look at me please?”

He snorts derisively and continues to glare out the windshield. Chloe waits. She used to have to do this with Trixie back in her toddler days. Lucifer might have more time than she does, considering the whole immortal angel thing, but she’ll wait as long as she needs to. She can be stubborn too. 

Eventually, Lucifer meets her gaze. Chloe reaches out and sets her hand on his forearm, and she’s glad when he doesn’t recoil. 

“If Linda is right, and you became vulnerable again because you thought that’s what I wanted, that is very, very sweet.”

He looks briefly vindicated, but then his eyebrows furrow. “I sense a but coming.” 

She exhales a breath. “But that’s not what I want.”

“You said—”

“I know what I said. But I don’t want you to put yourself in danger just because I’m afraid that you don’t—”

She stops abruptly. His eyes widen a little. 

“Just because I’m afraid,” she amends. “Yes, part of me wanted you to be vulnerable again because it was reassuring. It was...I don’t know. Proof, I guess. But Lucifer I never, ever want you to get hurt. Okay? Especially not for something as stupid as that.”

He frowns. “So you want me to be invulnerable?”

“If you can be, yeah. So can you...I don’t know, can you undo it?”

He gives her an incredulous look. “I’m not a cell phone, Detective. You can’t just press a button and restore me to factory settings.”

“Well can you try? ”

“How on earth would I do that?”

“I don’t know. I mean, what did you do before Dan shot you? What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that your douchey ex was about to do something douchey and keep me from ever having sex with you again.”

Chloe gives him a look. “Seriously?”

“Yes seriously,” he says. “Not all of us are accustomed to dry spells, Detective, and I spent thousands of years in Hell with nothing but my imagination, so I—”

“Wait,” Chloe cuts him off. “You didn’t have sex in Hell?”

He looks appalled. “Did you think I did?”

“I don’t know,” she says defensively. “I didn’t really think about it.”

“Well how nice for you. You were up here running around with Maze, solving cases and partying at Lux and not thinking about me, and meanwhile I’m down there for thousands of years trying to remember how your ass looks in jeans.”

For a second Chloe’s brain trips over his admission that he likes the way her ass looks in jeans, but then she pushes the thought away. 

“Hold on,” she says. “Are you saying you waited for me?”

“Well of course I did, Detective,” he replies, throwing up his hands as if he’s completely exasperated by her. 

“But I thought you didn’t plan on coming back.”

“I didn’t.”

“Then why—”

“Well I hoped, Detective. And in any case, I didn’t want sex if it wasn’t with you.”

Chloe stares at him. She still doesn’t fully understand how Hell works, but she knows there are thousands of demons down there. Demons who look like Maze. Demons who worship him as king and will do anything—literally anything—he wants, whenever he wants, no questions asked. He was down there for thousands of years, and he could’ve done whatever he wanted, and she never would have known. But he waited for her. For her.  

“Lucifer,” she murmurs. 

Lucifer looks confused for a second, and then he perks up like someone just offered him a lifetime supply of gummy bears. “Are we finally going to have car sex?”

Chloe frowns. “What?”

He points at her. “The last time you said my name like that—”

“No,” Chloe says, shoving his hand away. “No, I am not about to have sex with you in my ex-husband’s police cruiser on the side of the road. God, Lucifer.” 

“Well you don’t have to bring Dad into it,” he huffs. 

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Can you just focus on trying to be bulletproof?”

“Fine,” he says. He shifts in his seat, tugging on his jacket, and then closes his eyes. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m focusing. Do you mind? You’re very distracting.”

Chloe swallows a sarcastic retort and presses her lips together. 

Lucifer stays like that for a minute or so, silence hanging in the air, and then he cracks one eye open. “Well? Do I look bulletproof?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe says, looking him over. “You look the same.”

He nods at the glove compartment. “Give us the gun that’s in there and we’ll find out.”

“What? No.” 

“Well we have to test it somehow, Detective.”

“Yeah, but not by shooting you.”

“Why not?”

“Um, because if it doesn’t work then you’ll be shot? Seriously, you have no concept of self-preservation. How have you not died more often in the last few years?”

“For Dad’s sake,” Lucifer sighs. “Do you have something sharp then?”

She doesn’t, but she knows Dan keeps a knife in his glove compartment. She reaches into the glove compartment, pulls it out, and flips open the blade. Lucifer rolls up his sleeve. Chloe holds out the knife. He takes it from her, and then traces a small line on his arm. Blood oozes to the surface of his skin. 

“Damn it,” he says.

“Try again. Think harder.”

He looks up at her. “Think harder? Are you joking?”

“You can self-actualize,” Chloe insists. “You just have to try harder. Here, come here.” 

She holds out her hands, and he frowns at her. She rolls her eyes and grabs his face, and then leans forward so that they’re only a breath apart.

“Lucifer,” she says.

He arches an eyebrow. “Yes, Detective?”

“I want you to be invulnerable. Knife-proof, bulletproof, all of it. Completely invulnerable.” She drops her hands. “Okay, now try it.” 

He lifts the knife obediently, but as the blade slides over his skin, another thin line of blood appears. Chloe sighs.

“You know, this might not be my fault,” Lucifer says, looking up at her. “Are you sure you really mean it?” 

“Seriously?” she says. “You think I want you to bleed?”

“Well it sure as hell seems like it,” he says, gesturing at his arm. 

“You’re the one who self-actualizes, Lucifer.”

“Yes, and according to the Doctor, I do it at your behest.” 

Chloe flops back into her seat with a sigh. “Forget it.”

Lucifer wipes the blade on his pant leg and then flips it closed. Chloe folds her arms over her chest and glowers at the windshield. 

“Perhaps the Doctor was incorrect,” Lucifer offers into the silence. 

“Maybe,” Chloe replies.

“Oh come now, Detective,” Lucifer says. “There’s no reason to be glum.”

“You’re right. Everyone we know hates us, you’re vulnerable because I’m insecure and needy, and the one person who could help us get things back to normal is MIA for reasons unknown. Everything is fine.”

Lucifer sighs. “You are the least needy person I’ve ever met, Detective. You have no reason to be insecure other than your terrible taste in junk food and your atrocious taste in men. Present company excluded, of course. And I don’t believe Amenadiel is the only one who can help us, so we still have options.”

Chloe looks at him. “Do you have another sibling on earth?”

“Not to my knowledge. But as I told you, I’m not sure this is celestial. If you’re right that Doctor Linda was able to fight the effects, then this could be something much simpler.”

“Like?”

“Magic.”

“Magic?” Chloe repeats. “You mean like in Harry Potter?”

Lucifer rolls his eyes. “Please don’t say that in front of a sorcerer.”

“When would I meet a sorcerer?” Chloe asks incredulously. 

Lucifer lifts a shoulder. “Half an hour or so unless you have objections. And depending on traffic, of course.”

Chloe blinks at him. “Wait, you’re serious? You want to take me to meet a sorcerer?”

“Well, technically she prefers the term magician,” Lucifer says. “She has an extensive knowledge of magical lore, so if this is magic, she’ll know. And it’s very likely she’ll be able to fix it for us.”

“You mean because she’s such a good magician?”

“Well, there’s that.” Lucifer grins. “Also, she owes me.”

“Of course she does.” 

Lucifer reaches for the gear shift. “Shall we? Or do you have a better idea?”

“I have zero ideas.”

“So?”

Chloe gestures at the road before them. “So let’s go meet your magician.”

When Lucifer parks the car on what appears to be a deserted street in front of a massive warehouse not far from downtown, Chloe is more than a little confused. 

She squints out the window. “Are you sure this is it?”

“Quite sure,” Lucifer says, pulling the keys out of the ignition. “I’ve been here before, darling.”

Chloe looks at him. “Where is here, exactly?”

“It’s a club.”

“Like Lux?”

“Not quite.” He tilts his head. “This place is a little more…”

When he doesn’t answer, Chloe narrows her eyes at him. “A little more what? ”

“Over the top,” he answers with a wicked smile.

Chloe lifts her eyebrows. “You’re telling me there’s a club more over the top than Lux?”

“There are quite a few, actually. There’s a difference between excess and style, Detective, and I’ve always preferred the latter.” 

He winks at her and then climbs out of the car. Chloe follows him. She shuts the door behind her, and then eyes the warehouse as she walks around the front hood of the car to join him. It’s a massive brick building. The bricks are white, but the neon graffiti looks far more recent than the peeling white paint. Chloe thinks she can hear a pulsing beat, but she’s not sure. A sad-looking plastic bag blows across the street and catches her eye. 

“It doesn’t look like much,” she observes. 

“It’s not supposed to,” Lucifer replies. He presses his hand against the small of her back and guides her across the street and toward a very ordinary looking steel door. “That’s part of the allure.”

“What’s it called?”

He grins at her. “Deep Throat.”

Chloe nearly trips on her high heels in surprise. “Are you serious?” 

“Indeed.” 

“I’m guessing they weren’t thinking of Watergate.”

Lucifer chuckles. “No, Detective.” He leans closer to her. “If, once we’re inside, you should find yourself suddenly inspired—”

Chloe hisses his name and shoves him so hard he stumbles a few feet away from her. He throws his head back and laughs, and Chloe can’t help but grin at him even though she can feel her face flushing. 

“Horn dog,” she accuses. 

“Mmm, guilty as charged,” he hums, slinking back to her side. He slides his hand along her hip and pulls her flush against his chest. “But have you looked in a mirror? There’s not a person on the planet who’d blame me.”

“Flatterer.”

He lifts his free hand to her face and brushes his thumb over her bottom lip. “You think so?”

“Are you about to tell me the Devil doesn’t flatter?”

“Flattery is a close relative to dishonesty,” he murmurs. “And the Devil doesn’t lie. Certainly not to his beloved.”

Chloe’s heart flutters in her chest. He’s dancing awfully close to saying the three words they haven’t talked about yet, and judging by the look on his face, he doesn’t regret what he just called her. She wants to prod him to continue, or at the very least call her beloved again, but she hates the idea of manipulating him into saying something just because he feels like he’s supposed to. So she gives him an out instead, and opens the door for him to say something suggestive so they’re back on familiar ground.

“I guess that’s true,” she says, tilting closer to him. “You made it pretty clear from day one that you were attracted to me.”

He shakes his head, and his thumb brushes over her lips again. “Hear my soul speak,” he murmurs. “The very instant that I saw you did my heart fly to your service, there resides to make me slave to it, and for your sake am I this patient log-man.”

Chloe’s heart stops fluttering and starts to thud. He’s giving her that look again. She loves when he looks at her like that. 

“What’s that from?” she whispers.

“Shakespeare,” he answers. He drops his hand. “You would’ve liked him.”

Chloe blinks. “I would’ve...wait, you knew Shakespeare? ”

Lucifer smiles. “Quite well.” He pulls her toward the door by her elbow. “Now come on, Detective, we’ve got things to do. We mustn’t dawdle.”

Chloe stumbles after him, her brain stuttering over the lastest in a very long line of ridiculous revelations about her boyfriend. He knew Shakespeare, for God’s sake. He’s the Devil and he knew Shakespeare. How is this her life?

When they get to the steel door, Lucifer swings it open and motions her inside. She steps through the doorway and into a vestibule of sorts, and immediately finds herself in the middle of what appears to be a very large group of people. She stops in surprise. 

“Oh no, darling,” Lucifer says in her ear. “The Devil doesn’t wait in lines.”

He brushes past her, catching her hand as he goes, and then leads her deeper into the building. As they weave through the crowd, Chloe realizes that it is, in fact, a line—it’s just so long that it curls past itself like a massive snake. Several people recognize Lucifer as he passes, and they greet him by name. He smiles and waves and is his normal charming self, but he doesn’t pause to actually talk to anyone. He keeps a firm grip on her hand, and Chloe gets more than a few appraising looks when people realize that she’s with him. 

By the time they get to what appears to be the front of the line, Chloe feels like the entire vestibule of people is staring at them. Lucifer doesn’t seem to notice. There’s a velvet rope barring the crowd from an entryway covered by black velvet curtains. Chloe can hear the music more clearly now. It’s a pounding, deep bass beat, the kind that conjures up memories of the clubs Jed used to love taking her to.

Behind the velvet rope are three of the largest bouncers Chloe’s ever seen wearing matching black suits. Standing in front of them is a very tiny, very pretty blonde in a shimmering red dress. Her face lights up the moment she sees Lucifer.

“Lucifer!” she squeals. 

“Jenna, darling,” Lucifer greets. “How are you?”

“Better now that you’re here!” Jenna exclaims, scurrying forward. “Where have you been? It’s been forever since we’ve seen you.”

“I took a little work trip down south,” Lucifer replies. “But never fear, I’ve returned at last. I’m sure it’s been terribly boring without me.”

“Of course it has,” Jenna giggles. “Nobody parties like the Devil.” She unhooks the velvet rope and then finally spots Chloe. “Oh,” she says. “Who’s this?”

Lucifer pulls Chloe gently forward by the hand so that she’s standing at his side. “This is my girlfriend.”

Jenna’s eyebrows shoot up so high they seem to disappear into her hairline. 

Chloe offers her hand before Lucifer can introduce her as the Detective. “I’m Chloe.”

The surprise dissolves from Jenna’s face immediately. She beams and shakes Chloe’s hand. “I’m Jenna. Nice to meet you.” She gives Lucifer a sly smile and shoves him lightly on the chest. “Look at you, settling down. I think I’ve witnessed a miracle.”

Lucifer looks down at Chloe and winks. “You have no idea.”

Chloe presses her lips together around a smile and leans a little closer to him. 

“Well, you two are adorable,” Jenna announces. She looks over her shoulder. “Aren’t they adorable, Andre?”

The largest bouncer glances between Lucifer and Chloe and grunts. 

“He’s a man of few words,” Jenna says fondly. She leans toward Lucifer. “Except in the bedroom.”

“Oh, look at you,” Lucifer says, smiling broadly. “Well done.”

Jenna laughs and then motions them forward. “Come on, hurry up before he yells at me for leaving the rope open too long.”

Lucifer steps past the open velvet rope, and Chloe follows him. Jenna hooks it closed behind them. “Have fun!” she says brightly.

Chloe thanks her, and then Lucifer leads her by the hand through the black velvet curtains. They end up in another lobby-like room, though it’s far smaller than the one they just left. A pair of doors marked as bathrooms are on the left. There’s a couple fighting in hushed tones in a corner to the right, and a man who’s either very high, very drunk, or both talking animatedly to a potted palm tree in the opposite corner. 

“I think he found his soulmate,” Lucifer quips.

Chloe snorts. 

Lucifer smiles down at her, and then leads her through another set of black velvet curtains. 

When they get to the other side, Chloe’s mouth falls open. 

She’s been to plenty of clubs in Los Angeles, whether for work or in her younger days when she went out more, but she’s never seen anything like this. To her immediate right is the longest bar she’s ever seen. It’s at least the length of a football field, and it’s filled with people waiting for drinks or sitting on stools. There are a dozen high top tables in front of the bar, and there are people milling around those too. Chloe can’t help but stare, because she’s never seen so many people dressed so...uniquely. There are three men in wife beaters and jeans talking to three girls in designer cocktail dresses. There’s a woman wearing what appears to be a wedding dress, and a man in a giant hot dog costume. There’s a couple making out near one of the high top tables, and Chloe’s pretty sure they’re wearing body paint and not actual clothes. There are four men in white tuxedos by the bar. But it’s the five girls in bikinis that really give her pause. She watches them walk away, and then she realizes—

“Is that a pool? ” she demands, tightening her hold on Lucifer’s hand. 

Lucifer smiles down at her. “It is.”

Chloe gapes at it. The end of the pool juts into the warehouse and is fenced to prevent stray dancers from falling in, but there’s a gate nearby leading out to a large patio where there are dozens of shirtless men and women in bikinis standing around heaters with open flames. There must be lights in the pool, because it appears to be blinking and flashing in unison with the lights on the ceiling of the club. There’s steam hovering over the water. 

“It’s heated,” Lucifer says in her ear as if on cue. “But I much prefer the hot tub.”

Chloe is too stunned to say anything. There’s a pool and a hot tub? In a nightclub? What in the actual hell...

“I’m afraid we won’t be venturing in that direction though,” Lucifer says. “We’re headed upstairs.”

He leads her back into the club. Once they get past the high top tables, they’re suddenly in the middle of a massive dance floor and surrounded by so many people it makes Chloe’s head spin. There’s a raised stage in the distance, and Chloe can see a DJ in an elevated booth, but she has no idea who he is. The bass beat is loud enough that she can feel it in her chest. Got me running in circles around you to please you I do what I need to, a voice croons over the beat. So pardon my manners just something about you turns me to a savage. The beat drops, and there’s a roar from the crowd as the multi-colored lights in the warehouse flare and flash. The sea of people seems to move in unison, and Chloe can’t help but feel like she should join in.

When she and Lucifer finally get through the crowd, they stop at the foot of a spiral staircase. There’s an angry looking bouncer guarding the bottom step. Lucifer flashes him a smile, and the guard steps aside. Chloe follows Lucifer up the stairs, glancing out over the club as they climb. It looks even bigger from up here. She can’t believe how many people there are. 

When they get to the top of the stairs and step into what appears to be a lounge looking out over the club, the volume of the music drops drastically. Chloe can still hear it, but it’s not nearly as loud. She frowns. How is that possible? 

Magic, her brain supplies, but she has no idea if that’s actually true. She glances up at Lucifer to ask, but he’s smiling at something in front of them. 

“Hello, Zatanna.”

Chloe follows his gaze. There’s a cluster of white couches in front of them and half a dozen people sitting on them. A woman stands up. She’s got the longest legs Chloe has ever seen, and they’re encased in black leather pants that would make Maze jealous. She’s wearing a white satin bustier that lifts her chest in a way that draws Chloe’s eyes, and a cropped leather jacket. Her black hair is curled and hanging loosely around her shoulders. 

She’s gorgeous. 

Her eyes are fixed on Lucifer. She walks across the room and stops in front of him, and her eyes travel slowly up his body. “Well well well,” she murmurs, folding her arms over her chest. “If it isn’t the Devil himself.”

Lucifer smiles. “You’re looking well.”

“You too.” Zatanna turns her gaze to Chloe and sizes her up. “I see you brought the flavor of the day.”

“I’m not the flavor of the day,” Chloe says, shaking her head. 

Zatanna’s eyebrows lift. “You sure about that?”

Chloe smirks and looks up at Lucifer. “I don’t know. Am I sure about that, Lucifer?”

“Quite sure, darling,” Lucifer replies with a grin. He slides his hand along the small of her back. “Zatanna, allow me to introduce you to my girlfriend, Detective Chloe Decker.”

Chloe isn’t sure what reaction she was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for Zatanna to burst out laughing. Judging by the frown on Lucifer’s face, he wasn’t expecting it either. 

“I’m sorry,” Zatanna says, holding up her hand. “I just...I thought you said girlfriend.”

“I did,” Lucifer says. 

Zatanna starts to laugh again, but stops when no one joins her. Her eyebrows furrow. “You’re serious?”

Lucifer nods. “Swear to Dad.”

Zatanna glances between Lucifer and Chloe, clearly stunned. “Wow,” she says eventually. And then she smirks at Chloe. “You must be a real hellcat in bed.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Lucifer purrs. 

Chloe elbows him hard in the ribs. He bends forward with an exhaled oof. “Detective,” he whines, clutching his middle. “What was that for? You should be proud of how fast you make the Devil come.”

Chloe’s face feels hot. “We’re keeping private things private, remember?” 

He huffs at her. “You know I don’t lie.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to tell the whole truth unprompted.”

“I didn’t,” he insists. “If I was going to do that I would have told her that in the shower last week, you—”

Chloe smacks her hand over his mouth. “If you ever want me to do that again, you’re going to stop talking.”

Lucifer’s eyes are glinting mischievously, but he lifts his hand and mimes locking his mouth closed. Chloe rolls her eyes. She drops her hand from his mouth and turns her attention back to Zatanna. 

The magician looks amused by their interaction. “Zatanna Zatara,” she says, holding out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Chloe says, shaking her hand.

“So you’re a cop?”

“A homicide detective.”

Zatanna snorts. “I can’t believe the Devil fell for a cop.”

“Neither can the Devil,” Lucifer says. “You know she drives the speed limit? And Dad forbid she eat candy before ten in the morning.”

“I’m standing right here, Lucifer,” Chloe says.

He looks her up and down with an expression that clearly says I know what you look like naked and I’m imagining it right now. “Yes, I can see that.”

Chloe sighs at him. 

“Well you guys have the bickering thing down,” Zatanna says in amusement. “How long have you been together?”

“Not long,” Chloe replies. “But we’ve worked together for a few years.”

Zatanna lifts her eyebrows. “You mean he helps you solve murders?”

Chloe nods. “Yeah.” She glances up at Lucifer with a smile. “He’s pretty good at it.”

“She’s being modest,” Lucifer says to Zatanna. “I’m exceptional. Best partner she’s ever had.”

Zatanna glances at Chloe, who lifts her shoulder in a shrug. He’s not wrong. 

“A crime-solving Devil,” Zatanna says with a snort. “Now I’ve seen it all.”

“Actually, that’s why we’re here,” Lucifer says. “We have a bit of a problem that might be magical in nature, and since, as you said, you’ve seen it all, we require your services.”

Zatanna folds her arms over her chest. “So you’re calling in one of your favors.”

“One?” Chloe asks.

“She owes me three,” Lucifer answers. He grins at Zatanna. “She likes to treat me like her own personal genie.”

“I know genies,” Zatanna replies. “You’re no genie.”

Chloe frowns. “Wait, genies are real?”

“Everything is real in one way or another, darling,” Lucifer says. He turns his attention back to Zatanna. “Do you consent?”

“Do I have a choice?” Zatanna asks. “I’m in your debt, and you’re here to collect. So what’s the favor?”

“I’m afraid you’ll need some context first.” Lucifer nods at the couches. “May we?”

Zatanna glances over her shoulder at the people sitting on the couches. “Give us a minute.”

They all rise from the couches immediately and head for the spiral staircase. Zatanna motions toward the couches, and Lucifer and Chloe follow her lead. Chloe sits on a couch facing the staircase, and Lucifer lowers himself onto the cushion next to her. He scoots closer to her so that their hips are pressed together, crosses his legs, and then drapes his arm around the back of the couch behind her. Chloe leans toward him. She likes that he hasn’t hesitated to be so casually close to her tonight. It’s one of the few things that she doesn’t want to return to normal. 

“So,” Zatanna says, lowering herself gracefully onto the couch across from them. “What’s up?”

Lucifer glances at Chloe, but she has no desire to explain what they’ve been through. She doesn’t trust herself to get through the story without crying, and she’s not interested in crying in front of a magician she just met while sitting in a club called Deep Throat. 

She gestures at Lucifer to go ahead. He gives her a sympathetic look, and then turns toward Zatanna and launches into an explanation of their night. He starts with Maze in the penthouse and goes from there. Chloe stares at his suit-clad knee while he talks, trying to keep her face impassive while she listens. She can feel Zatanna watching her, but she doesn’t lift her gaze. She just keeps staring at Lucifer’s knee and focusing on her breathing, because reliving everything hurts like hell and breathing is the only thing she can control. 

When Lucifer finally finishes relating the story, his final words hang in the air. Chloe swallows around a lump in her throat. She feels nauseous. Lucifer’s hand curls around the back of her neck all of a sudden, and she glances up at him. He smiles at her, his fingers stroking gently over her skin. She puts her hand on his leg and leaves it there. 

“Well you two have had a hell of a night,” Zatanna says.

Lucifer gives her a look. “Very funny, Zee.”

Zatanna shakes her head. “That’s not what I meant.” She glances at Chloe. “Do you want a drink?” 

“No, thanks.”

“You sure? There’s a bar up here.”

Chloe glances at the bar in the corner of the lounge and the bartender standing behind it at the ready, but she shakes her head. “No, I’m good.” She looks at Lucifer. “Do you…?”

“I’d like to know what we’re dealing with,” he says, looking at Zatanna. 

Chloe blinks at him in surprise. She’s never seen him turn down a drink. Ever.

“Is it magic?” Lucifer prods.

Zatanna sighs. “It’s possible. You said you got no reaction from any of the strangers at CVS?”

“None,” Lucifer replies. “It’s only people we know.”

“No, it’s only people she knows,” Zatanna corrects.

Lucifer frowns. “You wouldn’t be affected by—”

“I wouldn’t be,” Zatanna cuts him off. “But you went through Jenna in the front right? And I’m guessing you saw some people in the crowd you knew. You knew some of the people sitting up here. Did any of them react badly?”

“Jenna said we were adorable,” Chloe reminds him. 

Lucifer looks like he’s been slapped. “No,” he answers Zatanna quietly.

“Why would it just be me?” Chloe asks.

The magician shrugs. “Probably for the same reason the spell—if it is a spell—makes everyone want to protect you from him. Whoever is doing this really doesn’t want you to be with him. Any idea who that might be?” 

“I have some ideas,” Lucifer says bitterly. “But I need to know what, exactly, I’m dealing with first.”

“Well I won’t know that until I find the subject of the spell,” Zatanna says. “Do you think it’s you two, or everyone else? If it’s you, I can fix it pretty easily and whoever you’re dealing with isn’t much of a threat. But if it’s someone who was powerful enough to cast a spell over everyone else…”

She doesn’t finish, but she doesn’t need to. Lucifer looks grave, just like he did in the car earlier when he said that whatever this is could be dangerous, and Chloe feels fear claw at her chest again. 

“I’ve no idea,” Lucifer says. “But I’d appreciate any light you could shed on the matter.”

Zatanna gets to her feet and walks toward them. She stops in front of Lucifer, holds her hand out so that her palm is a few inches from his forehead, and murmurs something that sounds like gibberish to Chloe. Lucifer doesn’t flinch. Zatanna studies him for a moment, and then lowers her hand. 

“Nothing but the Devil here,” she says with a smile. 

Lucifer doesn’t return her smile. 

Zatanna turns to Chloe and lifts her hand. “Do you mind?”

Chloe glances at her hand. “What are you…?”

“She’s trying to determine if there’s a spell on us,” Lucifer says, reaching for her hand. “She won’t harm you. You have my word.”

Zatanna smiles. “It won’t hurt. I promise.”

Chloe swallows and nods. Zatanna extends her hand toward Chloe’s head, and then murmurs the same words she said before. Chloe expects to feel a shiver or a breeze or something, but she feels nothing. Zatanna studies her, and then her eyebrows furrow. 

“That can’t be right,” she murmurs. 

Lucifer straightens next to Chloe. “What is it?”

Zatanna extends her hand again and murmurs the same words. She searches Chloe’s eyes, and then looks at Lucifer. “You didn’t tell me she’s not human.”

“What?” Chloe demands.

“Oh is that all?” Lucifer says, slumping a little. “You gave me a fright.”

“Wait,” Chloe says. “I am human.”

“No you’re not,” Zatanna says. She nods at Lucifer. “You’ve got the same...well, for lack of a better word, vibe that he does.”

Chloe gives Lucifer a bewildered look, and he squeezes her hand comfortingly.

“She’s fully human, I assure you,” Lucifer tells Zatanna. “What you’re sensing is my father’s touch. She’s a miracle.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means, among other things, that she’s immune to me.”

Zatanna stares at him in shock. “You mean if you did that thing where you ask her what she wants…?”

“She’d only tell me if she wanted to,” Lucifer finishes. “And I’d have no idea if it was the truth or not.”

“We don’t lie to each other,” Chloe says. “It’d be the truth.”

Lucifer smiles at her.

“Okay,” Zatanna says, drawing the word out. She gestures between them. “This is starting to make more sense.” And then she grins at Chloe and folds her arms over her chest. “He has no effect on you and you still fell for him?”

Chloe smiles. “He grew on me.” She tilts her head. “Sort of like a fungus.”

“Detective!” Lucifer huffs.

Chloe laughs and leans over to brush her lips over his jaw. “A very handsome fungus,” she murmurs.

Lucifer straightens his jacket with a huff. Chloe smiles at him and coasts her hand along his thigh, and then looks up at Zatanna.

The magician is grinning. “I like you. You don’t put up with his shit.”

“I beg your pardon,” Lucifer says in offense. “I do not have shit.”

Zatanna smirks. “Honey, you’ve got more shit than a sewer. You’re the Devil.”

Chloe shrugs. “I like that about him.”

“You do?” Lucifer asks.

“I do,” Chloe says, meeting his gaze. He looks shocked for a moment, and then a smile spreads slowly over his lips. It’s so wide and pleased that Chloe’s heart flutters.

“All right,” Zatanna says. “I feel like you guys are about to start making out, and I definitely didn’t sign up for that, so can we focus?”

“Sorry,” Chloe says, looking away from Lucifer. “So we’re not under a spell?”

Zatanna shakes her head. “Not that I can tell. Which means someone put a spell on all the people you know.”

“Can you fix it?” Lucifer asks.

“Maybe,” Zatanna says, putting her hands on her hips. “But I need to get a better read on it. Which means I need to talk to someone who’s under it.”

Chloe and Lucifer share a look.

“That might be difficult,” Lucifer says. “As I mentioned, we haven’t exactly had pleasant experiences with our mutual friends this evening.”

“Well is there anyone you haven’t seen yet that you’re sure would be under the spell?”

“I could text Ella,” Chloe suggests to Lucifer. “She’d come here if I asked her to. And I’d be shocked if she wasn’t under the spell.”

Lucifer doesn’t look thrilled by the idea. Honestly, Chloe isn’t either. She doesn’t want to listen to another lie-filled lecture about why Lucifer is bad for her, and she definitely doesn’t want to see the look on Lucifer’s face when Ella accuses him of being evil. But what other choice do they have?

Lucifer nods as if he can read her mind. “I believe that’s our only option,” he says with a sigh. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out her phone, and offers it to her with a smile. “Let’s see how Ms. Lopez feels about deep throating.”

Chloe rolls her eyes as Zatanna snorts in laughter.