12. Twelve

Linda looks shocked when she opens the door and finds Chloe and Lucifer on the other side. 

“Lucifer,” Linda says in surprise. She glances at Chloe, double takes at her outfit, and then says, “Chloe?”

“Hey Linda,” Chloe greets.

Linda pulls her bathrobe tighter around her body. “Is everything all right?” 

Lucifer steps into Linda’s space, bends forward, and squints at her instead of answering. Linda leans back, but Lucifer follows her and bends even farther forward. There’s an intense look of concentration on his face, but it’s hard for Chloe to take him seriously because two minutes ago he was explaining to her how betrayed he felt when he realized that green gummy bears are strawberry flavored.

Linda lifts her eyebrows. “What’s happening right now?”

“Just looking for flickers,” Lucifer mutters.

Linda casts a glance at Chloe out of the corner of her eye. “Is he high?”

“On gummy bears,” Chloe replies.

Linda frowns. “Are you high?” 

Chloe snorts. “I wish.”

Lucifer whips around to face her. “Why Detective,” he purrs, a wicked grin smoothing over his lips. “I had no idea you were interested in drugs. We should get high together and see how much of the Kama Sutra we can get through.”

Chloe gives him a look. “Can you focus?”

“Right,” he says. “We’ll talk about that later.” He turns back to Linda, squints at her again, and then shakes his head. “No flickers. My theory must be correct.”

Chloe thinks of Dan, and how she briefly thought he was safe when she didn’t see the flicker right away. “It doesn’t always show up right away.”

Lucifer hums and then gives Linda an appraising look. “Well, the doctor is small,” he decides. “You can take her.”

“Me?” Chloe says. “Why do I have to take her?”

Lucifer frowns. “Well surely you don’t expect me to punch her?”

“Why am I being punched?” Linda asks. “What’s going on?”

“Long story,” Lucifer replies. “The Detective will explain. I need to speak with my brother.” He shoves past her and into the house without waiting for an invitation. 

Linda sighs. “By all means, Lucifer, please come in.”

Chloe wants to laugh, but she feels guilty for intruding. “Sorry, Linda,” she says with a wince. “I know it’s late.”

Linda smiles. “Don’t apologize. It’s not the first time he’s barged in at an odd hour. I should be used to it by now.”

“You mean he has no concept of boundaries? I’m shocked to hear you say that.”

Linda laughs and beckons her inside. “Come in. I’ll make some tea.”

Chloe thanks her and steps into the house. Linda shuts the door behind her. They’ve just gotten down the entryway steps when Lucifer strides out of the kitchen with a half-eaten chocolate chip cookie in his hand. Chloe considers pointing out to him that he probably should have asked before he helped himself to Linda’s cookies, but decides against it.

“These are delicious,” he announces, grinning around a mouthful of cookie. “Well done, Doctor. You should give the Detective your recipe. She enjoys baking with the urchin around the holidays.”

“It’s the recipe on the back of the Nestle bag,” Linda says to her.

Chloe smiles. “Trixie’s favorite.”

“A bag?” Lucifer repeats with a frown. “Who puts a recipe on a bag?” And then he waves his hand. “Nevermind, I don’t care. Where’s my brother, Doctor? I assume fast asleep since it’s far past his bedtime and he’s incapable of fun.”

“Actually, he’s not here,” Linda replies. 

Lucifer frowns. “Well then where is he?” 

“He went up to the Silver City. After he saw your father off, he decided to visit some of your siblings.”

Chloe’s heart stutters to a stop in her chest. For the first time since the beach, she’s afraid. She glances at Lucifer. He meets her gaze and looks just as worried as she feels.

Linda glances between them with a frown. “Don’t worry,” she says. “It’s just a short visit. He said he wouldn’t be gone long.”

Chloe shakes her head. Time is different in Heaven and Hell. What might seem like five minutes to Amenadiel could be years. And they don’t have years. 

“Lucifer,” she murmurs. 

“Don’t worry, darling,” he says, holding out his hand. “He’ll come if I pray. Just give me a moment. Excuse me.”

He turns and strides out of the room, leaving Linda and Chloe in silence. 

The moment he’s out of sight, panic claws at Chloe’s chest. She’s immediately annoyed with herself. She’s a homicide detective, for god’s sake. She shouldn’t need her boyfriend around to make her feel safe. But whatever’s happening is definitely out of her wheelhouse, and tonight has been awful. It helps to have Lucifer close. It makes things...less awful.

“Chloe?” Linda says, putting her hand on Chloe’s arm. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Chloe replies. “I’m fine. Totally fine. Everything is fine.” 

Linda lifts her eyebrows. “Riiiight,” she says slowly. And then she pats Chloe on the arm. “Let’s get some tea.”

Linda heads for the kitchen. Chloe watches her go. Maybe it’s because Lucifer is gone, but she’s suddenly wondering if Linda is going to flip the way Dan and Trixie did. What if she’s just tricking them into a false sense of security? What if she’s going to—

“Chloe?” Linda calls from the kitchen. 

Chloe looks up. 

Linda gestures in the direction Lucifer went. “You can go with him if you’re uncomfortable.”

Chloe frowns. “Uncomfortable?” 

“You’re reaching for a gun you don’t have,” Linda says, glancing down at Chloe’s hip. 

Chloe follows her gaze, and sure enough, her hand is at her hip where her sidearm would usually be. 

“Oh,” she says. She drops her hand. “No, I’m…” She doesn’t know what she is, and she doesn’t know how to finish that sentence, so she sighs instead. 

“I can put some whiskey in your tea,” Linda offers with a smile. “If you need to take the edge off.”

Chloe studies her. That sounds like something Linda would say, and she looks how Linda should look, and she hasn’t started spouting off about Lucifer being dangerous or evil or too selfish to love her. Maybe Lucifer is right. Maybe this is a weird celestial preview of what their divorce would be like, and Linda is in his camp, so she’s safe. There’s no reason to worry. 

Or maybe not. 

Chloe walks across the house, stops in front of Linda, and leans forward to look into the doctor’s eyes. She wants to check for the flicker herself. Not that she doesn’t trust Lucifer. She just...wants to be sure.

“Are you looking for flickers?” Linda asks dryly. 

Chloe doesn’t answer. She waits a little longer, but nothing appears. Linda’s eyes aren’t flickering. They just look normal. 

“Sorry,” Chloe says, leaning back. “Just trying to be careful.”

Linda smiles and nods at the closest barstool. “Why don’t you sit down?”

Chloe slides onto the stool with a sigh. Her feet hurt in these heels. She misses her sensible brown shoes. When all this is over, she’s never wearing high heels again. Ever. Flip flops or boots. That’s it.

A memory of the look on Lucifer’s face when he saw her high heels surfaces.

Well, maybe not never.

She pushes the memory away and glances toward the hallway that Lucifer disappeared down. She can’t see him. She can’t hear his voice either. Which is fine, right? He probably doesn’t pray out loud. Unless he’s not praying. Is he calling Amenadiel? Do cell phones work in Heaven? Or is there, like, some other way that angels communicate with each other?

She looks away from the hallway and pushes her hand through her hair. She desperately needs a hair tie. She should’ve bought one at CVS. She meant to. She just got distracted trying to make sure Lucifer didn’t buy the entire candy aisle. 

“So,” Linda says as she sets the tea kettle on the stove and flicks on the burner. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Well I would,” Chloe says with a sigh, “except I have no idea.”

Linda gives her a sympathetic smile. “Why don’t you start by telling me why you and Lucifer are suddenly obsessed with really intense eye contact?”

Chloe snorts. “We probably seem crazy to you, huh?”

Linda shakes her head. “I don’t believe in crazy. The human mind is a complex thing. We don’t always understand why other people’s brains work the way they do, but that doesn’t make them crazy. In my experience, the people who call others crazy are just too lazy to find a better explanation. Or too cruel.”

A lump forms in Chloe’s throat. She didn’t realize how badly she needed to hear that. She was called crazy so many times after Palmetto. Hearing Dan say it to her tonight was...well, it didn’t feel good. Even if he wasn’t really himself.

“Do you feel crazy?” Linda asks gently. 

Chloe nods. “Yeah. I mean, I know I’m not. But…”

“But?” Linda prods. 

Chloe chews her bottom lip and searches for the words. “I guess I’m just wondering when we’re going to catch a break. I mean, why is it that every time Lucifer and I finally get to a good place, everything just implodes?”

“So you two got into a fight?” 

“No,” Chloe says, shaking her head. “The exact opposite, actually. We’re fighting with everyone else. I mean, Maze showed up unannounced at the penthouse and started ranting about how bad Lucifer is for me, and then a bunch of cops from my precinct showed up too, and they were acting so…”

“Crazy?” Linda supplies with a smile. 

“Yeah,” Chloe says. “They were dead set on getting me away from Lucifer. I had to fight them, Linda. Physically fight them. And Maze...I mean, the penthouse looks like a bomb went off.”

“Why were they trying to get you away from Lucifer?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe says, throwing up her hands. “That’s the thing. They were acting like he’s dangerous. One of them literally said love doesn’t hurt to me. Like, what the hell is that? That’s what we say to domestic abuse victims, and I’m not...I mean, this is Lucifer we’re talking about. My Lucifer. He’d cut his own arm off before he hurt me.”

Linda doesn’t answer. Chloe looks up when the silence drags on too long. The doctor is frozen, and she has an odd expression on her face. Like she’s trying to remember something but can’t quite grasp it. 

“Linda?” Chloe asks. 

Linda meets her gaze. “What did you say just now?”

“I said Lucifer would never hurt me.”

Linda nods. She purses her lips the way she does when she’s thinking, and then she says, “Well that’s not exactly true, is it?”

Warning bells start to blare in the back of Chloe’s mind. “What do you mean?” 

“Well he has hurt you in the past,” Linda says. “Repeatedly, in fact. I understand it wasn’t physical, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t painful. It might be difficult for people who care about you to believe that he won’t do it again.” 

Chloe presses her lips together. Linda’s eyes aren’t flickering, but Chloe’s gut is telling her that something is wrong. 

She straightens on the stool. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Linda replies.

“What do you think of my decision to be with Lucifer?”

Linda tilts her head. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I mean do you think I’m making a mistake? Do you think he’s going to hurt me?”

“Do you? ”

“I’m the one asking the questions, Linda. Not you.”

Linda lifts her eyebrows. They stare each other down for a moment, and then Linda folds her hands on the counter. “I have a feeling I’m being interrogated.”

Chloe lets her silence speak for itself.

Linda nods. “All right.” She straightens a little. “I think you see him differently than other people do. You always have. And I think Lucifer wants to be who you think he is.”

“And who is it I think he is?”

“A good man.”

The words hang in the air and then settle over Chloe like a chill. She stares across the island at her friend, waiting, and she finally sees it—a flicker in Linda’s eyes. 

Chloe’s first thought is how heartbroken Lucifer is going to be. But then, after her heart squeezes in her chest, rage takes over. This isn’t fair. None of this is fair. Lucifer has spent all of eternity being blamed for things he hasn’t done and being held responsible for things other people did. Now he’s finally found a home, finally found a family, and they’re turning on him?

Chloe curls her hands into fists and tries to control her temper. “I don’t think he’s good,” she says, her voice wavering with barely restrained anger. “I know he’s good.”

“Chloe,” Linda says gently. “I’ve seen this before in patients.”

“Seen what?”

“A savior complex.”

Chloe exhales sharply through her nose. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“There’s a reason you’re a cop,” Linda forges on. “You want to help people. You want to protect them, and save them, and Lucifer is no different. You two have a connection. I’m not disputing that. But that connection is affecting your judgment.”

“For god’s sake,” Chloe says, pushing her stool back and getting to her feet. “What the hell is wrong with all of you?”

“You don’t need to be ashamed of how you feel,” Linda says, holding out her hands in a placating gesture. “I understand it can be very intoxicating when you think you have the power to make someone—”

“I’m not making him anything,” Chloe cuts her off angrily. “He already is. You of all people should know that. You know him better than anyone, maybe even me.”

“I do know him,” Linda says patiently. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. What Lucifer wants more than anything in this world is to be loved. And he will do whatever it takes to get that love, even if it means jumping into something he’s not ready for.”

“Linda—”

“I know he tries to be a good man. And his effort matters. I’m not saying it doesn’t, or that he’s a lost cause. But that doesn’t mean he’s ready to give you what you’re asking for. He’s not like other men, Chloe. He’s swimming against the current of literal millennia of habits and beliefs—”

“You’re a shrink, Linda,” Chloe says, brandishing her finger. “You’re supposed to know people can change.”

“People can change. But change isn’t permanent, Chloe. It’s cyclical. Addicts relapse. People fall off the wagon. Lucifer is no different, and he’s reverting back to his old self. I can see it happening. And I think you can too. I saw it written all over your face at family dinner when he brought up that he’s invulnerable again.”

Chloe frowns. “What?”

“Lucifer was vulnerable by choice,” Linda replies. “It was a physical manifestation of a subconscious desire. He wanted to be vulnerable with you, but he wasn’t sure how, so he let his body be vulnerable as he learned to let his heart do the same.”

“So?”

“So if he’s invulnerable again, that means something. It says something about the state of his mind.”

For a moment, all Chloe can think about is that damn cave at the abandoned zoo, and Michael sneering at her on the other side of the bars. But then she remembers her kitchen the other morning, and the bright red blood on Lucifer’s shirt. She thinks of the cut on his forehead after their shootout with the cartel, and the small scratches on his palm after he brushed broken glass off her thigh.

“He’s not invulnerable.”

Linda frowns. “What?”

“He’s not invulnerable,” Chloe repeats. “I’ve seen him bleed at least three times in the last week.”

“But he said—” 

“He was invulnerable when Dan shot him. But he’s not now. So if you’re trying to use that as evidence that he’s relapsing, then you’re wrong.”

Linda looks stunned. “Wait,” she says. “Wait. Dan shot him? That’s when he became invulnerable?” 

“Yeah.”

“But then he became vulnerable again.”

“Yeah.”

Linda’s eyes go wide. She leans over the counter. “Does Lucifer know you were upset?”

Chloe frowns. “What?”

“You seemed upset at family dinner when he brought up that he was invulnerable,” Linda says impatiently. “Did you guys talk about it? Did you tell him that you were afraid that he was reverting back to his old self?”

“I mean, I didn’t say it exactly like that. But yeah. I guess so.”

Linda’s mouth is hanging open now. She looks completely, utterly stunned. And then she shakes her head, and a smile starts to form on her lips. “I can’t believe this.”

“Can’t believe what?”

“I was right,” she says, more to herself than to Chloe. “He has changed.”

For a moment, Chloe is too confused to say anything. That’s...not something that someone who was under the influence of the flicker would say. In fact, it’s the exact opposite of what Linda said two minutes ago. 

Chloe leans over the counter, searching Linda’s eyes, but the flicker isn’t there anymore. It’s gone. 

What the hell?

“So you don’t think Lucifer is regressing?” Chloe asks.

Linda laughs. “No.” 

Chloe blinks at her, and then she leans against the counter and sighs. “I am so confused.”

Linda smiles kindly. “Let me explain. When Lucifer subconsciously chose to be physically vulnerable, I don’t think it was just about him. He wasn’t just responding to his own desire. He was responding to yours. You wanted him to be vulnerable with you, and he wanted to give you what you wanted, so he was vulnerable in the only way he knew how to be.”

Chloe frowns. “But when Dan shot him, the bullet bounced right off.”

“Because Lucifer was responding to your desire again. He gave you what he knew you’d want. He knew it would hurt you if he was shot or killed, so he made himself invulnerable so you wouldn’t suffer.”

“So if he’s physically vulnerable again…?”

“It’s because you want him to be,” Linda finishes. “He recognized how upset you were about his invulnerability returning, and he was upset that you were upset, so he reverted back to the state you wanted him to be in. All along, he’s been trying to give you what you want. Subconsciously, but still.”

Chloe blinks at her, stunned. 

The ear splitting whistle of the tea kettle stops any further conversation. Linda jumps in surprise, and then turns toward the stove. Chloe watches her, but her mind is elsewhere. Her brain is still stuttering over the revelation that Lucifer’s invulnerability—or lack thereof—might be tied to her and what she wants. 

On the one hand, it’s flattering. He still hasn’t said I love you, but making himself vulnerable again so she wouldn’t feel insecure about his feelings is a hell of a statement. On the other hand, though, it makes her feel sick to her stomach. He could be shot or stabbed or worse, and he did that for her. He thought she wanted him to be at risk more than she wanted him to be safe. What does that say about her? What does that say about their relationship? 

“Here,” Linda says, sliding a mug across the counter.

Chloe smiles. “Thanks.” She wraps her hands around the mug and watches the steam curl from the top. 

“So,” Linda says. “How are things with you and Lucifer other than the vulnerability issue?”

Chloe looks up. “They’re good. Really good, actually.”

Linda purses her lips and nods but doesn’t reply. Silence hangs in the air. Chloe knows Linda is staying silent on purpose. She does the same thing in interrogations. When you give people silence and time, they feel compelled to fill it. But somehow, knowing that isn’t enough to keep Chloe from talking. 

“He’s planning our first date,” she says. 

Linda lifts her eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Yeah. He says he wants it to be special. Which, like, so do I, but...I mean, he’s Lucifer. Should I be worried? Because I just keep thinking about that billboard on Sunset he rented when I was upset about the gift from God thing, and I…”

She trails off when Linda’s expression goes slack.

“Linda?”

Linda doesn’t answer.

“Linda,” Chloe calls again.

Linda snaps her gaze up to meet Chloe’s. “Sorry. I was just...have you guys talked about that?”

Chloe frowns. “Talked about what?”

“About how you’re a gift that his father created to manipulate him.”

Chloe frowns. She’s opening her mouth to disagree, but she stops short when a brief flash of silver and blue flickers suddenly in Linda’s eyes. 

Chloe’s heart sinks. She pushes her mug away. “Is that really what you think?” she asks quietly. 

“Well I’m only human,” Linda says. “I won’t pretend to know what God’s plan is. But if Lucifer’s father wanted to teach him how to care about other people more than he cares about himself, then manipulating him into falling in love with someone as selfless as you would be a good way to do it.”

The words sting more than Chloe wants them to. She’s trying to decide whether she wants to argue or just give up and go get Lucifer when Linda shakes her head. 

“No,” she breathes.

Chloe frowns. “No?” she repeats.

Linda doesn’t react. She’s staring off into space, her eyes glassy. “Lucifer doesn’t really believe that his father manipulates him,” she says softly. “He told you that. And you believe him.”

Chloe frowns. “He never told me that.”

“No, not you,” Linda says, looking up. “Me. He told me that.”

“He did?”

“Yes. He—” 

Linda stops talking abruptly. She stands frozen for a few seconds, and then her eyes flicker. She straightens and meets Chloe’s gaze. “Lucifer believes that his father is using you to manipulate him.”

Chloe blinks at her, confused. Why does Linda keep contradicting herself? Why is she...

The realization hits like a lightning bolt. 

“You’re fighting it,” Chloe breathes.

Linda frowns. “What?”

“That’s why you keep going back and forth,” Chloe continues. “Because sometimes you can see through the illusion.”

“What illusion?”

Chloe strides around the island and grabs Linda’s shoulders. “I need you to listen to me, okay? There’s something weird going on. A spell, or a hallucination, or...I don’t know the right words, but it’s something, okay? It’s something that makes people think that Lucifer is evil, and that I need to break up with him.” 

“You should.”

Chloe shakes her head. “No. Linda, listen—”

“No, you listen,” Linda interrupts. “Chloe, I know him. I know him better than anyone. And he’s not ready for this. He’s not ready for you.”

“You can fight this, Linda,” Chloe insists. She feels desperation well up in her throat and she tries to swallow around it. “Please fight it. Please. He needs you to be on his side.”

“I am on his side. I’m his therapist. But I’m your friend, Chloe, and that’s more important. And I’m telling you, as your friend, Lucifer isn’t ready to be in a serious relationship with you. I don’t know if he’s ever going to be ready. I’m not sure he’s capable.”

Chloe opens her mouth to argue, but Lucifer’s voice rings out through the kitchen before she can. 

“Is that so, Doctor?”

Chloe whips around to face him. He’s standing framed in the doorway, his fingers fiddling with one of his cufflinks. Everything about his posture screams casual and unaffected, but Chloe isn’t fooled. She can see it in his eyes. He’s hurt. She wonders how much he heard. 

“Lucifer,” she starts.

“Yes,” Linda cuts her off. “Chloe isn’t like your other conquests, Lucifer.”

“I’m aware,” Lucifer says stiffly.

“She has a dangerous, stressful job,” Linda forges on. “She has a child. She needs stability and assurance. That’s why she chose Pierce.”

“Pierce?” Lucifer echoes, straightening to his full height. His eyes flash. “What the bloody hell does—”

“He offered her what you didn’t,” Linda interrupts. “That’s why she said yes to his proposal. He was safe and steady and stable, and he was ready to devote his life to her.”

“I’m ready to devote my life to her.”

“Are you sure?" 

Lucifer opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He glances at Chloe. She can’t handle the distress in his eyes. 

“Stop it, Linda,” she says quietly.

Linda shakes her head. “No. It’s important that he faces the truth. Relationships are hard work, Lucifer. They take commitment and persistence and selflessness. You have to put her first. You have to be sure about what you want—”

“I know what I want, Doctor,” Lucifer cuts her off, his voice thundering through the kitchen. “And so do you. You asked me once, remember? You asked me what I wanted, and I told you, and it hasn’t changed. It’s all I’ve wanted since our first case, even if I didn’t realize it.”

Linda doesn’t answer. Her face goes slack like it did before. Hope flutters in Chloe’s chest. 

“Fight it, Linda,” she says, reaching out to grab the doctor’s arm. “Focus on what you know.”

“What I know,” Linda says slowly, almost robotically. She blinks, and then she shakes her head and fixes her gaze on Lucifer. Her eyes flicker silver and blue. 

“What I know is that you are unfathomably narcissistic,” she says, her voice hard. “You are utterly terrified of intimacy. And you have a long, long history of sabotaging everything good that has ever happened to you. This relationship won’t be any different.”

Lucifer looks like he just got suckerpunched.

Anger flares in Chloe’s gut. “Stop it, Linda.”

Linda ignores her. “I know you, Lucifer. You’ll try to hold on to her, but you’ll hold on too tight. You’ll put too much pressure on yourself, and it’ll make you resent her, and then you’ll look for an escape. Alcohol. Drugs. Other women. Anything and anyone but her.”

Lucifer flinches.

“Stop it,” Chloe says through clenched teeth. 

“You’ll break her heart,” Linda continues, still ignoring Chloe. “And you know it. If you love her, if you really love her, you’ll do what’s best for her. You—”

“Enough,” Chloe snarls, stepping between Linda and Lucifer. 

Linda blinks in surprise. “Chloe?” she murmurs.

Chloe glares at her, and then turns toward Lucifer. He’s staring at the floor, his eyes glassy. His posture lacks all its usual confidence. Defeat is coming off of him in waves.

“Lucifer,” Chloe murmurs.

He gives no indication that he heard her, so she crosses the room to stand in front of him. He doesn’t look at her. 

“Look at me, babe,” she whispers, brushing her hand over his face. 

He lifts his gaze to meet hers. 

“You know none of that is true,” she tells him, holding his gaze. “You know what’s real.”

He swallows hard, his throat bobbing, and says nothing. 

She frames his face in her hands and shifts closer to him. “Say it to me,” she whispers. “Tell me what’s real.”

He tilts toward her. “You.” 

“Us,” she corrects. 

“Detective,” he breathes, his voice breaking.

She kisses him. What else can she do? She can hear the defeat bleeding into his voice, and she can’t stand it, so she rises onto her toes and kisses him because that’s what he understands. That’s his language. And it’ll be hers, too, if that’s what he needs.

“I love you,” she whispers afterward. “Okay? That’s what’s real. We’re real.”

He presses his forehead to hers. His hands wrap around her hips, and his fingers flex against her like he’s holding on for dear life. “You and me,” he whispers.

“Yeah,” she murmurs. “You and me.”

He sucks in a deep, shuddering breath, and then lets it out. Chloe lingers close to him for a moment, and then she grabs one of his hands. 

“Let’s get out of here.” 

She leads him by the hand toward the front door. He follows her without a word, his fingers woven through hers.

“Chloe,” Linda calls out after her. “Chloe, wait.”

Chloe holds Lucifer’s hand tighter and doesn’t turn around.