--Dead Silence

And at that, her laughter halted, giving way to a dead silence which held some sort of detail, punishing me, readying me for a stab to the heart. And her face, lay blank, empty,

“You remember those times I’d call you for a meeting in my room, and you’d refuse because your mother would find out. Then I’d go on a rant about you being not so fun.”

To that, I nodded

“Well, I’m glad you never came. Did you ever wonder why I and Kamsi were so so persistent? Well, just in case you did, it was because they promised that they’d hurt us if we didn’t.”

The she turned to face me, a slight, crazed smile on her face. To that, I felt the lines on my face form a pattern, laying my confusion on my face for her to view.

“They???”

Her pain laced smile returned,

“Yes, they. The women who walked around my room, draped in whites, holding calabashes. You know, like the movies.”

Then, she laughed, shaking her head to punctuate every laugh her mouth assisted in forming,

‘You know, those Nollywood movies try in their detail. They really do try don’t they?”

Trailing her eyes up the ceiling,

“They never killed Kamsi. Her body didn’t get caught in a fire, there was no fire. Kamsi was held, handed over to them, and no one said anything. They all kept it hush, and while it all went down they told a big fat lie which no one cared to investigate.”

To that, my face stilled, and my movements halted,

“You noticed it, didn’t you. The fear. The way I'd stopped talking to him. I’m sure you noticed it, you’ve always had a keen eye. But, it was either me, you, or Kamsi, and after they took Kamsi, I realized what I’d done. I could never do that to anyone again, especially you.”

“I could never bring you into my family’s mess. You’re too good for that, you don’t deserve it.”

Then, she dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“The birthday cakes I always ate in your stead, the ones you always grumbled about.”

Then, for the first time, she gave a smile which I’d always known her for

“ The times I stole your little books, and snacks which Ijele so conveniently loved to gift you in excess. All the times I’d convinced you to sneak out to some place unchaperoned.”

With that, her smile dimmed,

“They weren't done just for the sake of laughs or fun. Each night, we’d take a walk clothed in whites. We’d all come together, and speak, declare our wishes, and pray to the gods we supposedly worshipped. Then, the queen mother would come in shimmers, draped in golds and diamonds, possessing eyes of inextinguishable anger, never forgiving, then we would pledge our oaths, and a duty would be given. All in the darkest of nights. Then, she’d order us out, we all had something to accomplish, simple jobs she called them, and I’d failed to execute it, so many, so many times”

Looking at me, grief stricken, pained, and tears forming in her eyes, she said,

“I couldn’t do it, I just could not. So I waited for my father to save me from the pain which bit at me, to defend me. But he didn’t, and that night, something much worse than all I had endured happened.”

Smiling at me, she said,

“Take a guess. Remember what you saw?”

To that, a thought formed, not that I’d never thought it, but I forbade myself to consider such. After all, he seemed so so good, but given the freedom to think it, memories began to creep in, the shaky hands, the hasty retreat, the dead eyes, all within his presence. While he rested, nonchalant. Then, the horror began to creep-in and as I felt my tears nearly drown my voice, I managed to whisper in a strangled voice,

“He didn’t…”

To that, she shook her head and laughed,

“ He did. He did, and what hurt me most, was the fact that he derived some sort of twisted pleasure from hurting me. He never seemed to be the same person on those nights, on those nights, his eyes would take up a ring which seemed almost animalistic. Barren of all traces of human. On those nights, he seemed almost cannibalistic. And for that, I hated him with all of me, and the crucifixes in my room all seemed to take a stab at me, retrieving each memory, and forcing me to watch. To watch and feel things I never knew I’d once felt in my life. ”

Looking at me, she said,

“Do you know how that felt? No, you don’t. I’m glad you don’t.”