CHAPTER 1: Me, you and our daughter

A year ago…

It had been a few years since that fateful "Yes, I do" and Kurt and Blaine had never stopped loving and pampering each other like the first day. Sometimes they could seem too sweet, but if life had taught them anything, it was just that they had to live to the full without half measures.

Their careers had begun when they were just kids and could certainly consider themselves young prodigies: while studying at NYADA, Blaine was part of a dance and singing company, Kurt was an intern as an aspiring designer at a fashion house.

It certainly could not be said that their life was boring, indeed it was difficult to sustain such hard and heavy rhythms and at the same time to live their young love, but they were a couple and they were able to make their two halves fit together without ever giving up proving themselves. how much they loved each other.

This was going to be a special day, filled with a particular atmosphere where a question had been echoing in the air for a long time, a question Kurt would ask that very evening. He was nervous, perhaps more than his wedding day, he couldn't calm down and certainly Rachel's advice hadn't helped; he was freaking out driving Lulu too crazy, the cat they had found on the street and soon after they had adopted.

Dinner was in the oven and the table, in the center of which was a vase with Blaine's favorite flowers, had been set and finally, a melody came from the living room that completed the sweet atmosphere. Yes, now Kurt could say that everything was perfect, but it was just missing ... And he didn't even have time to finish saying it that he heard the front door close and her husband appear in all the beauty of him.

They had their own routine: it didn't matter what time it was or what they were doing, as soon as they got home the kiss was a must, so despite the tiredness, Blaine approached Kurt and kissed him very gently. As soon as he noticed that romantic atmosphere his face turned purple: he couldn't have forgotten their anniversary again, Kurt wouldn't forgive him.

"Oh my God! Please tell me I haven't forgotten it again because ... No, it's not possible ... "Blaine began to stammer in a confused way, even gesturing and for Kurt, that was the sign that he had to intervene.

"Oh, no, no honey, don't worry. It's ... it's for another reason, "he finally admitted, blushing and Blaine could be heard heaving a sigh of relief, regaining color.

He had tried to find out more but Kurt was determined to keep the secret until the end and that only increased the desire to know even more. The wait was starting to be too long and Blaine tried to bribe him with kisses and sweet caresses, albeit without success.

After having dinner, her husband disappeared and returned a minute later with a small box in his hands, placed it in front of him urging him to open it, but Blaine decided to wait a few more minutes, savoring the magic that had been created, the same one that there had been surrounding for years.

"Oh, Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed surprised and excited at the same time, as soon as he opened the box.

"I think it's time for us to ..." Kurt said shyly, before being interrupted by her husband's kiss.

"Of course we are. For days I was looking for the right way and time to ask you, but this time it was you who anticipated my moves. Besides, these pink and blue shoes are so small and so beautiful, "Blaine said almost ecstatically, looking at Kurt with loving, happy eyes.

For them, that evening marked the beginning of a new adventure that would lead them to a territory never explored: parents for the first time. They knew it wasn't going to be easy and that with the work they did the difficulties would increase, but they were ready to face all this together.

Five years later ...

Time had really flown: it had been four years since Kurt had proposed to Blaine to have a child. Together they had decided to adopt a child, the same little girl who had conquered them the first time they went to visit an orphanage, one glance was enough to understand that this was their daughter. Bureaucratic procedures were a difficult topic to deal with, if we then add that they were a gay couple and that the same child had to be entrusted to another family, this complicated everything a bit. Despite the numerous interviews, the infinity of questions to which they had been subjected, their request still had to be approved by the judge, even if they were deemed suitable as parents. There had been various discrepancies, they had been called several times, but the social worker had confirmed that it was normal practice, that all this had a more or less long duration and that they should never stop trusting. But four years is quite a long time for everyone, even for them.

Every morning, since time immemorial, Kurt woke up at the crack of dawn because it was the best time to write the book he started about a year ago and was still working on, instead Blaine would rock in bed letting his muscles rest for the intense training he underwent them every day.

Kurt after years of apprenticeship had managed to become a well-known stylist, Blaine instead, in addition to being part of a large number of shows, managed a small singing and dancing company for children, and was often helped by her husband and their best friend Rachel . In their home there was always the same air of love, happiness and complicity: although they continued to have such busy lives, they always found time to devote to each other.

That day, for Kurt and Blaine, was a very important day: their anniversary, their day.

Kurt reached out and finding the bed cold and empty he panicked, he was the one in the morning, but as soon as he smelled a sweet smell coming from the kitchen he understood why his husband was absent. He got up stretching and, still sleepy, went to the kitchen where he found her husband struggling with the stove with an air so sexy that he would have liked to drag him to bed immediately, but he was stopped by the set table and that inviting smell.

Blaine was taken by surprise and jumped when her husband encircled his waist, but a moment later he lost himself in his kisses that slowly moved on his neck and then returned to his lips again.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked, just breaking away from her husband.

"No come on! You were supposed to stay in your room, now how do I get breakfast in bed? You ruined my surprise! " Blaine said a little offended, trying to make a disconsolate face that didn't last very long.

«You don't have to make me breakfast every morning, it's been years since…. sure it has a good smell ».

«Blueberry and lemon pancakes and… the Chronic Sunday».

"B-a ... it's not even Sunday," Kurt exclaimed in amazement; after all these years her husband still continued to make breakfast, leaving him breathless each time.

"There is a show supplement and a fashion supplement on Wednesdays," he says with obviousness, making him laugh.

«I still don't believe it, five years have passed and we are still here, together. It is even better than what I had dreamed of for us ".

"Honey, it's the same thing you tell me every year now, every time it's our anniversary," Kurt admitted softly, looking at her husband with the same loving eyes as the first time. Kurt got even closer to Blaine and pulled him to him, kissing him passionately, leaving him breathless this time.

"What intentions do you have?" Blaine asked innocently, raising Kurt's eyebrow.

"The same one I had the last time," he replied maliciously, leaving the breakfast on the table to cool down and them to enjoy that moment of love, as they did five years ago.

"You make me feel so young

You make me feel like spring is rising

Whenever I see your smile

I am a happy individual. "

"And even when it's old or gray

I will feel the way I feel today

Because you make me feel this way, yes I feel this way

You make me feel so young. "

They had spent most of the day in bed making love and cuddling, but now their gaze wandered towards that pink room they had prepared years ago for the arrival of their little girl, the same one they were still waiting for. Kurt had stood up and stopped right there, and even though Blaine knew his thoughts because they were the same as his gods, he knew he needed time. But soon after, he pulled back the covers and joined him, wrapping his mighty arms around his waist and placing tender kisses on his neck. They remained embraced, in that position, to be strengthened for a few more minutes: moments like this made their love even more special.

"Blaine, we haven't heard from July for months, she should have let someone know and ..." Kurt was saying sadly, unable to hide from her husband the fear that all this was already an answer.

"Oh no, honey, don't even think that. We'll have our baby, you can be sure of it, "said Blaine with conviction, stroking her husband's cheek and wiping away a tear.

"How - can you be so sure? Maybe he'll already have a mum and a dad. "

"She already has two parents and that's us, Kurt, listen to you ..." Blaine was saying, just before he was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.

They looked at each other to say the least surprised, they weren't expecting visitors and certainly not at that late hour; they went to open the door and were stunned, unable to move a muscle.

They looked at each other to say the least surprised, they weren't expecting visitors and certainly not at that late hour; they went to open the door and were stunned, unable to move a muscle.

In front of their door there was July holding their daughter Layla who was just four years old and was the most beautiful and special child they had ever known. She had a finger in her mouth and with the other plump hand she was holding the ear of a bunny that was dangling from her arm.

"It's yours", these were the only words that the social worker said, just before the little girl reached out to them to be picked up.

The door closed behind them; Layla snuggled into her dad's arms, touching her little hand first to Kurt's cheek and then Blaine's, running warm tears of happiness down their cheeks, marked by her fatigue.

********************

It had been about two months and their family had never been so happy and complete since Layla had entered their lives. At first it was not at all easy to make work and their intimacy coincide with their daughter's needs, but they managed to make everything fit together, sometimes helped by friends who had never stopped standing by and supporting them.

Layla was particularly temperamental that morning and she didn't want to put on the clothes that Kurt had carefully prepared the night before, to go to kindergarten. Despite her tender age, she already knew how to win over her dads who often gave her the win; that day, however, was just impossible. Kurt had to see a supplier and he couldn't cancel the appointment at all and Blaine had the dress rehearsal for the debut of his show which would take place in two days: it was the wrong morning to throw a tantrum.

"Honey, put on this nice dress, please. Dad has to go to work and you have to go to kindergarten. "Blaine tried to persuade his daughter in kind ways, also promising that tonight, as soon as he got home, he would sing her a song: this always worked, but not today. what it looked like.

"Dad, dad," Layla yelled shortly after her throwing herself into Kurt's arms, crying because she didn't want to go to kindergarten.

"Let's do this, you put on the dress I made for you last night and then, Dad and I will take you to kindergarten," Kurt said, trying to find a compromise and looking at her husband with the same loving eyes as ever. The little girl seemed to think about it a little hesitantly, but then she dropped from her arms and went into the room to get ready, under Blaine's astonished gaze and Kurt's smile of victory.

"But how do you do it?" Blaine asked her husband surprised, kissing him immediately afterwards.

"Because I see a little of us in her and because sometimes she's stubborn just like you," Kurt replied smiling at him, taking his face in his hands and giving him a big kiss before going to breakfast, the same one that Blaine was preparing for him now for five years.

Harmony was back, in the Anderson - Hummel house there was not a day when you did not breathe love and happiness, feelings and values ​​that they tried to convey to her daughter. Layla was standing in front of the door, with her apron and backpack on her shoulders, smiling as she waited for her dads to accompany her to kindergarten.

"Are you ready baby?" Kurt and Blaine asked in unison, taking her by the hand and making her little eyes light up like her cunning.

There was no need for more words and so, Kurt on one side and Blaine on the other, they made her fly holding both her little hands firmly in theirs, giving her that unique emotion that one felt in having the wind on their faces and, to them, the joy of hearing their daughter laugh.

"How beautiful the world is with you

It seems impossible to me

That everything I see is there

Always just that

I didn't know how

To look at what you show me. "

It had been a really busy day for everyone, and after a delicious dinner that Kurt had prepared once he got home, there was an air of celebration and music.

"Again, again daddy," Layla said enthusiastically clapping her hands, seeing her dads sing, amazed by the sound of their voices.

It often happened that Kurt and Blaine, after having dinner, put on a little show for their daughter, singing and voicing their feelings as they had done so many times as kids. Layla never got tired of hearing them sing and above all she never wanted to go to bed, so the situation also became very funny. Kurt and Blaine chased her around the house, trying to get her to take a bath and put on her pajamas, but she nothing, she ran and sang in her sweet, innocent voice. Once captured, Layla struggled and to make her feel good about her they began to tickle her, all three falling together on the large carpet in the living room, cuddling and laughing until tears came to her eyes.

"Now honey close your eyes so the dream fairies can do their magic," Kurt said before kissing her daughter's forehead and after Blaine tucked her blankets.

"Pope!" the little girl called aloud; they both turned in surprise at her sad face.

"Is Uncle Finn up there watching me?" she asked them timidly, with shining eyes.

Layla was fascinated by everything that was colored, that she gave "light" like the photographs: she could spend hours observing them without ever getting bored and in each of them she always tried to understand the meaning. One afternoon Kurt and Blaine couldn't find her, desperate they were about to call the police when by pure chance they passed their room again and saw her there, sitting on the ground holding a photograph; immediately, they ran to embrace her.

"Honey, why didn't you answer when we were calling you?" Blaine asked in a loud voice, more than he would have liked.

"You made us worry," Kurt added softly afterwards, trying to calm the little girl who was scared.

"She has the most beautiful smile in the world, her gaze is so sweet," Layla said tenderly, turning the photo of her she was holding in her lap to show him.

"Who is she?" she asked curiously again, pulling their sleeves to draw attention to herself.

That was the day Layla found out about Finn, the same day they had to explain to her that he had flown to heaven: she fell in love with that smile, that man who was now among the angels. It was difficult for them to talk about Finn and above all they tried not to do it in Rachel's presence, but the little girl was more mature than her age and she knew that talking about him hurt her dads, so she avoided him. Layla often stayed in her room to observe that photograph that had attracted her attention, the same one that was now on her desk. However, there were days like the one in which she almost missed her, even if she hadn't had the opportunity to know him, at least not personally.

"Oh! Sure my baby, he will always look at you and protect you, "Kurt replied with tears in her eyes, stroking her daughter's face and holding her close.

"But now, sleep," Blaine said, kissing her and rearranging her blankets.

Kurt and Blaine stood in the doorway watching Layla fall asleep and shortly after they hugged each other, forcing each other as they had done so many times.

"How big the world is with you

And how to be reborn

And finally see that

I risked losing

A thousand billion and more things

If you hadn't done me

The gift of sharing them with me. "

*****************

Everything seemed to have taken the right turn: Kurt and Blaine's careers were at their peak, between them there was always romance and sweetness and living together with little Lyala was the best thing they could have asked for. Despite this, there was something that troubled them and that led to small squabbles. They had always been able to clarify any misunderstanding, but this time it was different, they could not come to meet each other, it was as if… if something had broken.

Kurt was at home that day working on his novel, while the little girl was in kindergarten and Blaine was in dance school. The house was quiet and there was the right atmosphere to focus on that chapter that required all of his attention and was not at all easy to write. She had just put on her glasses when she heard the front door slam and shortly after her the angry image of her husband appeared, only as she had seen a few times.

"Honey, what happened?" she asked, getting up quickly, approaching her husband to stroke his cheek, but he pulled away almost immediately, to Kurt's amazement.

"What happened? Did you forget that today Layla had to bring some animal-shaped sweets to kindergarten? " Blaine answered angrily, inveighing against her husband who backed away.

"Oh, it was today, right! I'm sorry, I had completely forgotten about it "he apologized, mortified for the colossal mistake he had made. It was his turn to prepare those sweets, but they had had a problem in the office for a wrong order and he had forgotten it.

"You, have you just forgotten?"

"Yes, sorry Blaine. I certainly didn't do it on purpose "

"Blaine, I told you I'm sorry," he retorted, impatient at the tone of voice used by her husband. There were things that he tolerated because he understood his tiredness of him but others instead he just couldn't accept them, like now.

"Kurt, you don't understand. Today I looked like a fool and an incompetent father when I accompanied Layla to kindergarten. The teacher asked me if I had brought sweets and I didn't even have a clue what she was talking about. When did we stop talking and communicating things to each other? " Blaine asked in a flat voice, letting those words reach her husband for him to understand the importance of what happened.

"We didn't do it, but we were so caught up that we didn't realize that we haven't communicated as we once did."

"We made a promise, we swore that we had never made our daughter lack for anything, that ..."

"Oh my goodness Blaine! I get it, okay. I was wrong, but there is no need to make a drama out of it. And then don't talk to me about promises. The only thing that our daughter must never lack is the love we can give her, respect for others, education, our support in always believing in dreams and in ourselves. It will certainly not be a stupid lack of sweets to create problems! " Kurt said, slightly offended by Blaine's insinuation that he wanted to make him look like a careless father. It's true, he was on that occasion, but he had never made his daughter miss anything, it was a stupid forgetfulness.

"But let's face it Blaine, you're looking for a reason to fight. For days you have always been nervous, that nothing can be said to you, that you warm up immediately, this ... ».

"Oh, really Kurt, do we want to talk about this now?"

"And why shouldn't we, since you were the first to accuse me of not being a good father?"

"I've never said any of this and I don't even think so."

«The truth is that we are too busy with work not to find spaces as we did before to confide in each other, to tell us the things that are wrong. You're always out of the house and when you come back you can't talk and I try to do what I can between home and work, "Kurt admitted, leaving her husband speechless, taking that discussion to another front.

"Kurt, you knew that by taking the part in that show, I would be spending more time outside the house. You told me to do it because we could have managed everything, I wasn't even convinced ».

"Oh God! Do you really have so little faith in us that you blame it on me? I insisted that you accept that part because it was a great opportunity for you, but the problem is not this Blaine and you know it well, "she said pointing at her husband with a finger, to emphasize the obviousness of the situation.

"Oh, no, don't try. You said that when Layla arrived you would loosen your grip on the shop a bit, what are you doing instead? You also started writing ».

"Here, you said it. Is the problem that I haven't cut back on my schedule for Layla or that she has started writing? What is your problem?" Kurt nearly screamed, frightened of his own voice; he certainly wasn't going to be pushed aside, not this time.

"The problem is you," Blaine let slip, but only then did he notice what he had said and the weight of his words.

"And it's too late, baby

It's too late now

Although we really tried to make it

Something inside is dead

And I can't hide it

And I just can't pretend. "

"Oh, you finally did it! You said what you've been holding inside for so long, didn't you, Blaine? So why are you with me? " Kurt asked, knowing it would happen sooner or later, because he'd seen her husband strained for days, more than he normally was for a show. I had five years ago.

"I didn't mean what I said, sorry Kurt. We made a promise: for better or for worse, in health and in sickness, in wealth and in poverty, a promise in which I still believe. But every free moment we have, you spend it writing and you never let me read a single sentence; what's so secret that I, your husband, can't know? What are you hiding from me, Kurt? " Blaine reiterated, furious that he had accepted compromises he wasn't entirely sure of, but now he couldn't believe that his husband was accusing him of not wanting his daughter.

"I'm sorry, we said never to put Layla in the middle and I know how much you love her, but do you think you have no flaws or have never made a mistake? This is only because I have always tried not to let you weigh it. Have you ever thought about me and all the times I stayed home alone in the evening and then with Layla, while you went to the various parties? Has it ever occurred to you to stay home with us or miss one of your many parties? Oh no, it won't be that you couldn't really do it, right? I know what I said, but it's something that could be done on both sides, "Kurt accused him in turn, letting a stupid forgetfulness ruin their lives; they were saying things neither of them really thought.

"I thought you knew how much you and Layla are important to me, that you supported me and you would never hold me back."

"I too thought so many things!"

"What do you mean, Kurt?"

"Besides, what is all this obsession with my book? Let's stop here Blaine, before worsening the situation further, before one of the two says something more serious that can no longer be remedied ».

"What do we do now?" Blaine asked worriedly and with a strange voice, which also attracted the attention of her husband.

"It was so easy to live here with you

You were light and cheerfulness

And I just knew what to do

There will still be good times

For you and me

But we just can't be together. "

That evening when Layla returned from kindergarten, she did not find the same harmony as in the morning. Kurt and Blaine told her that her dads were going to be separated for a while due to work, but how do you make a four-year-old understand that it just takes time and that everything, sooner or later, would he settle down?

"Why dad? Why do you have to go to Uncle Sam's house? " she asked as she sniffed at her little girl, looking at him with tearful eyes.

"Dad has to do some things for work, but don't worry I'll come here every day," Blaine replied in a broken voice, trying to pull himself together, get up off the ground and walk away, but it was difficult, more than he ever expected. .

"Daddy please don't go, please don't leave me," he said crying, clinging to his pants not to let go.

Blaine looked up at Kurt, pleading with him and asking for help: it was too difficult, he couldn't do it alone.

Kurt walked over to her baby and took her in his arms freeing Blaine who, before leaving, kissed the head of her crying daughter, even though it broke his heart. A tear appeared on his face, the same one that streaked Kurt's face and still wet Layla's small cheeks. Blaine was standing in front of the door, he didn't have the strength to get out and as soon as he met Kurt's gaze he braced himself, after all he knew it was the right thing to do. It was a harrowing scene, no one from that situation had come out unscathed but she was the little one who at that moment was suffering most of all. The only thing Kurt could do with her was hold her close and rock her, whispering that everything would be fine, until she fell asleep with her face still streaked with tears and her cheeks red from agitation.