126. Chapter 126

After Undead Again

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Dead jokes would be too easy. (Like, you should be Grateful I don't own Castle, but I won't do that.) I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

"What happened, Javi?"

Detective Esposito looked at his partner and frowned. "We caught the guy. What always happens?"

"No! I mean with Beckett and Castle?"

Esposito leaned back in his chair. "Who knows? Those two haven't made any sense to me from the start."

"Yeah, but…"

"Yeah, but what? They've been going around in circles for years. I'm telling you the truth, Ryan, I have no idea what goes on with those two."

"Look, Javi, we all know why Castle's here. Even Beckett has figured it out by now. He wants Beckett."

"Well, good luck to him on that. He might just have a long grey beard before that happens."

"Okay, but Castle broke up with his ex-wife, what's-her-name, more than a year ago. Beckett broke up with Josh after she got shot. Neither one has had a steady date since then, just Castle's little…"

"Little, bro? That girl was big!" Espo held his fists over his chest, approximating a woman's boobs.

"Fling, Javi, it was a fling. He was with that blonde stewardess for a couple of days and then, she's gone. Then he takes up with Slaughter."

"Slaughter!" Espo snorts. "I'd prefer the blonde to Slaughter. I'd prefer that dog we had in here a while back to Slaughter. The man is dangerous, and not just to gang members. He's trouble for cops and civilians alike."

"True. But not my point. First the blonde and then Slaughter. You can't tell me that Beckett wasn't jealous of the first one and afraid for Castle with Slaughter. You know she was."

Esposito shrugged. "Okay. She was. They've been partners a long time."

"Yeah! And all of a sudden they are partners again. It wasn't quite like the old days yet, but Mom and Dad are back. That's what I think."

"I guess."

Ryan cocked his head to one side and looked at his partner. "You guess? Javier Esposito, ace homicide detective guesses?"

"Yes. I guess. We've both been watching those two for years and all they do is go around in circles. Maybe it's different, maybe it isn't. Let me know if they either elope to Vegas or he elopes with Captain Gates."

Ryan shook his head disgustedly. "I wonder if Lanie knows anything." He suddenly stands up.

"Where you going, bro?"

"I want to go talk to Lanie and see if she knows anything."

Espo stands as well. "I'll go too. I wouldn't want you getting lost."

Ryan smiles as he and his partner head for the ME's office.

"No!" Lanie says to the two detectives. "Even if I knew something, and I don't, I wouldn't tell you two. What happens or doesn't happen with Beckett and Castle is their business unless and until they decide you need to know."

Ryan turns to his partner. "That means there is something for us to know."

"Kevin Ryan!" Lanie says sharply. "I did not say that."

"You got that right, bro." He turns to Lanie. "Thanks for confirming it."

"Javier Esposito, I did not confirm anything except that you two make something out of nothing, not a good trait in a detective, let me tell you. I know exactly what you two know. Castle has been after Beckett from day one. Maybe not for the same reason now as on day one, but after her, none the less. And Beckett has a lot of problems to work through. You both know that as well. So if you want to make up something out of absolutely nothing, you go right ahead. It doesn't mean a thing. Now get out of here. Unlike you two, I have important work to do."

Ryan and Esposito walked back to their desks and sat. Ryan sat there thinking. "So what do you think happened, Javi?"

"What happened?" Rick Castle quietly asked himself. This was my last case with Detective Kate Beckett. I was going to go out in style, with a genuine, well, near genuine, zombie killing as our last case. And then she tells me she's in therapy and that she's ready to face everything that happened to her when she was shot. She emphasized the word everything. I want to believe that she meant that she's ready to admit that she heard me tell her that I love her. I want to believe that it means she want a relationship with me. That she feels the same way that I do. That she loves me.

But after three years, I have never, and do not now, have any idea where I stand with that woman. She said that her wall was coming down. I said I wanted to be there when it did. She said she wanted me there, too. That sounds good, it really does. But is it good? Am I just going to get more of Beckett's, lies and evasions in the future? I wish I knew.

I told her I'd see her tomorrow. I can handle doing another case with Beckett to find out. Or another two, or three or twenty. I'll see her tomorrow.

What the hell happened?

"What happened?" Dr. Burke asked.

Kate didn't answer for long seconds. "I'm not sure. He said things that sounded like he was winding down our partnership. Ending it."

"Did he actually say that?"

"No. He didn't. I just got the impression he was ending it. He told Dr. Perlemutter, an ME, that he'd miss him. It was just the way Castle acted."

"Kate, I've told you this before, but one of the problems you two have, is that you don't communicate. At least not like everyone else does. You depend on the tone of voice, things said to other people, all manner of things. When you and Castle do get together, and from everything you've told me about the two of you, I'm assuming you will get together, you really need to start communicating with each other. Talk to each other."

"I know. I know. There are so many things that if I had just said them to Castle, things would be so much better for us now. There were so many times when I should have…But…"

"It's complicated?" Dr. Burke said with a smile.

Kate nodded. "I know I have to talk to Castle. Really talk. I tried today. I really tried."

Dr. Burke nodded and smiled. "It's good that you're realizing that. Now, what did you say to him?"

"I told him I was in therapy. He was surprised. I told him I was getting close to where I wanted to be. Where I could face everything that happened that day. I emphasized everything. I told him my walls were coming down, and he said he'd like to be there when they came down. I told him I wanted him there, too."

"By which you meant that you could acknowledge that he loves you and move on with your relationship?"

She nodded.

"You're doing better, Kate. I hope this all works out for you two."

Kate smiled. "I'm sure it will. And thank you, Doctor Burke for all your help. I feel like I'm almost ready to tell Castle everything. I just need to get away from the precinct and all the interruptions so we can really talk. Thanks again." Kate stopped and looked at Dr. Burke. "If things do work out, can I come back to see you?"

"Why, if things work out?"

"There is so much more that I want to be for Castle that I'm not now. You've helped me so much and I think you could help me be better."

"I'll always be glad to see you, Kate."

Kate smiled hugely. "Always?" I like that word.