Corazón

Fame became a regular thing for him. Six of his books became a best seller and three of them come up to the big screen. He's at the top of his career right now, his name always come up in the headline this past year. Today's the premiere of his new film. Dress up wearing his nice tux, the expensive watch, and leather shoes. Ready go to the premiere party at one of the actor palaces.

Walking in the glowing room, greeting every producer, actor, and media who already in there. Drink champagne and talking to important people.

"James, my son," He looks around, old man with a nice suit walk towards him. Embrace him and pats his shoulder. "Well done, how can you be so damn genius at this young age? How old are you?"

"23 sir and this movie is the success of the team and all the support from you of course," he smiles with his perfect teeth. Calm and attractive just like staring at the snowy winter, cold yet so eminent.

He walks away and tries to find peace in the middle of the crowd, too much champagne makes him dizzy. Stand at the balcony, light up his cigar to makes his anxious heart to calm down. Cigarette makes his mind think of something why am I here? I don't even talk to anyone right now.

Twenty minutes and still thinks why he came to this party premiere. Nobody talks to him, he waits another minute, and still none of them. They enjoy their party with their friends and family. The sound of the music is so loud, it can be heard from other blocks, but in James' mind right now it feels quiet.

He can't even hear anything from the inside. Why everything so boring and empty. He wants to go home already but before it happens his editor called his name.

"Jimmy yo, I'm looking for you. I just came and this party sucks, so I thought you might be in here." He spoke while gasping for breath.

"Ed, I thought you wouldn't come," handed water to him.

"Thanks, I've finished my job and bored. Turn out this party sucks,"

James sigh and light up another cigarette, "I almost go home if you didn't come, feels strange. I feel bored but not just that, I don't know what to say. Empty maybe,"

Ed just silent, try to figure what happened to him. Everybody should be happy if their book gets adapted to big movies. He knows something wrong with James, but he didn't want to jump to a conclusion.

"Maybe you just tired, if you want to go home just go. Oh, you can call Christy, you guys never hang out lately. She can cheer you up," Ed tried to cheer him.

"You're right, maybe I should go home and call her,"

Just before James goes home, his phone ringing. It says 'Christy' with another 20+ unread messages from her.

"Speak of the devil, she calls just in time," James smiles and walk to the corner. Pick up his beloved girl calls.

"Hello babe, what happened?" quiet there's no answer from her— "What happened? Hello,"

He panicked but then appears some little smooth voice from her.

"James, I don't know how to explain this. This relationship isn't gonna work, please don't call me again,"

She hangs up, even didn't give James a chance to talk. Numb and blank, he didn't believe what he just heard. Ed who stands next to him just can guess, what happened between them. The cigarette starts to shorten, almost get to his index finger. Suddenly everything feels so cold for James, the only warm thing is the cigarette in his hand.

He shivering, try to rub his hands. Still not warm enough, he turns around and stares at Ed, who tries to figure the situation. Ed grabs another champagne and handed it to James, he already knows what happened when looks at his eyes. His eyes show something different and bad.

"You okay?" Ed wants to know sure what makes this man lose his charisma.

"Maybe, I don't feel good today. Guess I'll go home and take some sleep," he walks away and put off his cigar.

Ed holds his hand, "You know you can tell me if something goes wrong right?"

"I'm fine, thank Ed," James smile and walks away.

His smiles seem fake, that what in Ed's mind when James walk away. James walking through the party's crowd. When everyone gets high and enjoys the music, it sounds so annoyed for him. Right now he just wants to go home and didn't think anything at all.

"Jimmy, where are you going? It just 11 o'clock, the night is still a long man," some guy walk approach him.

He can't even see somebody's face right now. He just waves at him to sign that he has to go while putting on his fake smiles. Just one step and he can get out from this nonsense, but before he goes out some girls came to surround him. They laugh and trying to seduce him, James just smiles and nodding to everything they said.

"Sorry girls, I have a business to do," again James wants to avoid them and go home.

"Oh c'mon just forget about business one in a while," said one of them.

James starts pissed and leaves them. Leave them with their head full of question, not a single word come out from his mouth. The nice and kind guy turns into a cold and intimidating at the same time. They could see it on his face that he had held something.

'What is this party? Why am I here?' This question stuck in his head while he goes home. While he rides his BMW through the night city, the tears start to pour. Nothing feels more depressed than that night for him. Every lamp and road get blurry in his vision.

The tears dripping from his eyes like a waterfall, that's what he tried to hold in the entire party. Open the window hoping the tears will stop, but every time he looks to the sideway every girl, couple, every building in the city. He only sees Christy, at the same time with his memory of her. Like a motion of memory.