AkuaSenpai
God of Fire. Extremely useful. Give caffeine. Author of the webnovel “Blood? Suckers!” and now VWriter. Formerly AquaSenpai. https://akuasenpai.moe/
Tulisan
membaca
43
Membaca buku-buku
You mentioned you wanted me to show you the change in tenses. So in this line you are speaking in the present using present tense words yet in the next line everything has already happened and use of past tense verbs fills the line. Its not a major deal, just something I noticed. I love the story!
A very interesting take on the isekai formula; at times it feels like an authentic period drama with a modern twist. Theres a lot going on and that works to its strength. Some minor issues with tenses in the writing but nothing major - I reccomend for fans of classic lit or who want an interesting interpretation of isekai.
Really strong opening; it gives off the feeling of very early stories like the Tale of Genji but with a modern twist!
Welp, well I'm traumatised now. Great opening though, really pulled on my heart strings there!
So much greatness here; all I can say is that I'm really enjoying reading this story, more than I do most other stories on here. There's just a really engaging tone that it carries throughout, with a rich world to delve into. I'm not caught up to the latest chapter but I just want to put my two cents in - read this novel!
Wow, okay the lore runs deeper than any book I've seen on here so far. The world-building is great and the story is going in a very exciting direction. This is really a world to get immersed in and enjoy. There are a few things holding it back like minor grammatical errors - it doesn't effect how the story is read so much but there are moments where it does break the immersion a little. But in all honesty, that isn't enough to pull you away from what is a great narrative.
Loving this story, even if it is still in its infancy. There is a lot of tension and intrigue, the characters feel believable and something about the experience of reading it is just irresistible, constantly leaving you wanting more. There is a heavy focus on dialogue and the characters which honestly is my favourite thing in stories like these, so honestly, great work. My only one minor criticism would be the reliance on ellipsis, which I think can sometimes work against you when the rest of the writing is so strong. You can definitely show the passage of time through word choice and line length along with the occasional use of ellipsis. But other than that, it's a 10/10 in my book so far! I'm honestly glad to find something with this much potential so early on in it's run, but I'm a little annoyed I can't just pick up the next few chapters now as I am yearning for more!
I love this very character and dialogue focused writing!