Jagriti_Mandal
I'm a young author. (Chikki and Kari, The golden tears) Instagram: author_jagriti2009.
Tulisan
membaca
75
Membaca buku-buku
Ohk,thank you for your advices.
I wish I could give negative review but I couldn't,so I gave you 1 star.Your story has no mature content.You have written about how the world is formed,may I ask,how do you know,how the world is formed?.Technically,you have written something wrong,something imaginary. I don't mean that writing imaginary is wrong but writing on a real topic is completely wrong.You have plenty grammar mistakes.Your content is less,mistakes are more.Ha,first correct your english then become an author.
I liked it but there's a lot of things you can improve at.If you improve at those points I will star your story and you will receive a good collection.Don't get me wrong but in the first chapter like you wrote,"God said ok".Fonts shouldn't be written like that.Hiffens to be used and repetitions to not be included since it's a story and not a poem.Expecting more from you.Really liked your idea of imagining things like these.Great work.Keep it up.Also check out my stories for more inspiration.I have wrote 3 stories.Thank you.