Chapter 14: Determined

I feel bad, horrible in fact. It's been 3days since we went shopping, since I saw Alexander. I still don't know what got him upset but I have a feeling, that I caused it. Unpacking the clothes and items we bought took me hours, the clothes were just too much that I wondered how they all fit in the wardrobe. Throughout my unpacking, my mouth just kept dropping to the floor. The prices were out of the world, I felt bad that I'd taken so much. We took things that I'd need and the ones I just wanted. What makes me more terrible, is the fact that I didn't say thank you or show appreciation.

Whenever I go down to eat, he doesn't show up, during dinner too and my worry just keeps increasing. What did I do to annoy him so much as to not want to see me? I've decide. If he doesn't want to see me, I'll make him. I'm done having this guilty feeling.

I took my bath, got dressed in a high waist pants, wore an off shoulder top and put on my pink flip flops.

I marched down, ready to put my decision to action.

"Hmmm. That smells so good" I said to Samantha while taking a seat and she chuckles. "I'm making omelette with some apple juice" she says, already placing a plate in front of me.

"Smells lovely, taste lovely" I replied picking my fork, diving into the food.

"Calm down" she said with a laugh. "Mo chorry" I said, gulping down my food. "But this is extraordinary. You should teach me how to cook". "I'd like that vestra celsitudines (your highness)" she replied, mumbling at the last part.

I finished my food, still sitting there waiting to see if Xander would come out. "He's not going to come out" Samantha said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "How do you know that?" I asked. "I said so yesterday" was her replied. She did say he wasn't going to come out but I ignored her words which soon turned out to be true.

"Can I get coffee or tea with this omelette?" I asked and she gave me a questioning look but still made them. She set them in front of me.

"No, no. In a tray please" I said smiling sweetly.

"Thank you very much" I said, carrying the tray. "Um... Do you know the way to his room" I questioned, making her eyes wide.

"I do not think the master would be please about this, Ms. Ashely" she said carefully. I shrugged. "If he doesn't want to see me, then I just have to make an appearance". "I still think you should consider this deci-" she started but I cut her off. "Samantha. Please I really need to do this" I explained with pleading eyes. "Okay. it's at the left side, the last room with a golden knob and drawings". She said. "Oh thank you" I said, beaming with joy.

Finding his room wasn't that hard. The way to the room was quite dark, there weren't much windows. I'm standing outside the door, contemplating if I should knock or just turn back. 'What if he's still mad? Maybe I should just go back and act like nothing happen'. Before I could even make a decision, my knuckles were already on the door. There was no response and I knocked again.

The door clicked indicating it wasn't locked and I poked my head in. Black. That's all I could see. Everywhere and everything were in the color black. There was no one inside and I walked in, called his name but still there was no answer. His room was dark but not a depressing kind of dark. Interesting kind of dark. I set the food on the coffee table in front of the double cushions and a mug caught my attention. It was a black mug with some writing, written in red. It read 'Clamribus. Clamor. Mortem. I ut'omnis adducere (Screams. Cries. Death. That's all I bring)'. I tried reading it but it just wasn't my type of language, it look oldster. I picked the mug, trying to get a better view of what's written.

"What are you doing in here?" I heard Xander say, making me turn and drop the mug. It shattered once it hit the ground, breaking into different pieces. I stared at him wide eyed, before I panicked. 'I just broke his cup'. I quickly dropped to my knees, picking up the pieces of glass.

"I'm so sorry" I apologized repeatedly.

"Leave them, you might cut yourself" he said. "No, please let m-" before I finished, a piece of glass pricked me, sending pain through my body.

"Shit" I said, pulling the stupid thing out.

"I told you to leave them" Xander said, sounding annoyed. "I'm sorry" I say, feeling small under his intense gaze.

"Stop apologizing" he said with a sigh, as he brings me up and takes me to his humongous bed. "I'm sor-" I stopped myself. He left me on the bed, going to his bathroom. The blood was still oozing out when he came out with a box and set it close to me. He opened it, took out a bottle and poured its content on a cotton. Once he was done he looked at me, saying

"Give me your hand". And I being stupid gave it to him. He jabbed the cotton on the injury making me wince, pulling my hand back but he handle it tight. Tears swelled in my eyes. Whatever he poured on the cotton was burning, stinging and utterly painful.

"Shh, shh it's okay now. I'm done." Xander cooed, wiping my cheeks with his thumb. I looked at my hand and it was plastered. "Thank you" I said, before remembering, I haven't thanked him for the clothes. "Also thank you for the clothes" I said, looking up at him. He only nods still staring at me and I find myself doing the same. I don't know what happened or how it happened because he was leaned to me, his breath hitting my face and the rich smell of peppermint assaulted my nostrils. My heartbeat changed, it was beating so fast that I thought it'd burst out of my chest. I didn't move as he kept staring at me or rather my lips. I wanted him to kiss me. Yes, that was what my brain kept chanting but a little part of it was kinda screaming 'No'.

Now our nose were brushing, we were breathing the same breath. I looked up and I shivered inwardly, he had that needing gaze, his eyes were cloudy just like... Mine. Suddenly he pulled away, running his hand through his hair, messing it up and my breath got stuck. 'He looks so damn hot with his hair like that'.

He closed the box and went into the bathroom and I dashed out of the room, heading straight to my room. My heart was still beating fast and I placed my hand upon my chest. 'What happened there? Was I really going to let him kiss me? Why did he pull away?'. Thoughts kept passing through my head, making it pound. I sighed, falling face flat on the huge bed, groaning.

I skipped lunch and also would have skipped dinner but my tummy just had to disagree. I ate my food as fast as I could. I stayed in my room twisting and turning, trying to get a good position but everywhere was just uncomfortable. My brain was still active and all my thoughts involved just one person. Alexander.

"Ash. Get. Him. Out. Of. Your. Fucking. Head." I groaned into the pillow.

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