Chapter 214 : Moaning Myrtle!!

Lord of the Rings World!

Gandalf, the white-robed mage, let out a sigh of relief as he stroked his beard.

"I am not alone!"

"What a sorcerer!" he exclaimed. "A mere light spell seems sufficient, and the rest of the journey will be a breeze! If nothing else, I could just intimidate the enemy into submission! Back then, I faced a colossal flame demon without even flinching!"

[At this moment, Lupin, a fellow teammate, was gripped with fear!]

[He dreaded the idea of Deadpool turning towards him, uttering, "You're a fool!" followed by a lethal headshot!]

[Thankfully, Deadpool remained rational, opting instead to visit the local grocery store to settle scores!]

[Ultimately, amidst an amicable exchange, the grocer tearfully produced a stack of medicinal herbs, 865 gold Galleons, 1562 silver Sickles, and 62 bronze Knuts!]

[This sight caused Lupin's eyelids to twitch; it was a fortune, comprising the entirety of the store's possessions!]

[…]

[In Knockturn Alley, Dumbledore and Snape materialized within the Eight Eyes Store!]

[The elderly shopkeeper lay trembling on the floor at their arrival!]

["What are your impressions, Snape?" inquired Dumbledore, eyeing the jar filled with eyes!]

(They had just observed the entire skirmish from the shadows!)

["Agile, no, incredibly swift, effortlessly overpowering humans; conventional spells scarcely make contact, except through sheer volume of attacks!"]

["Yet, remarkably, his resistance to magic is astounding! Explosive spells barely scratch him, and even the darkest curses, including the Unforgivable, prove futile against him!"]

[Snape's countenance betrayed astonishment as he remarked, "This individual's prowess far surpasses his previous display in the auditorium; he is truly a wizard to be reckoned with!"]

["He exhibited signs of growth, initially affected by Lupin's curse, but swiftly developing immunity," Dumbledore concurred, before adding, "However, he is not impervious; the Gubraithian fire Curse significantly debilitates him, and Transfiguration might also prove effective!"]

[Snape scoffed, "Transfiguration? Are we to assume everyone possesses your proficiency? If so, then there would be no cause for concern over this enigmatic figure!"]

[Dumbledore recognized Snape's apprehension regarding his (Dumbledore's) 'Gubraithian fire' and the potential havoc the uncontrollable entity might wreak, retorting, "Your concerns are unfounded, Snape!"]

["I shared your concerns once," Dumbledore admitted with a cryptic smile, "but I've since relinquished them."]

["Why?" Snape inquired, puzzled.]

[Dumbledore blinked and offered a mysterious smile:

"With age comes wisdom, and certain scents are too potent to feign."

"What scent?" Snape pressed.

"A scent of madness," Dumbledore revealed.

"So, we're pinning our hopes on a madman to defeat Voldemort!?" Snape exclaimed incredulously.

"No, a joyful madman," Dumbledore corrected with a twinkle in his eye. "Happiness triumphs over darkness, it seems, Snape."

Snape refrained from voicing his disbelief. He understood that Dumbledore's simplicity was but a façade, concealing deeper intentions.

Five hours later, seated in the headmaster's office, Dumbledore reconsidered his earlier words.

"Can someone tell me where those two disappeared off to!?" he exclaimed in frustration.

"Shouldn't they have returned to school after procuring the potion?" Snape mused.

"They certainly are enthusiastic." 

[In the opulent confines of London's most luxurious bar, Deadpool savored a dram of 80-year-old castle whisky, his expression one of pure enjoyment.]

Lupin, observing silently, couldn't help but remark, "If he were any less enthusiastic, he might as well be bleeding."

"I'll have you know, I'm the epitome of reason!" Deadpool retorted, his gaze daring Lupin to challenge him.

"Ah, it's your ancient wand that speaks volumes," Lupin quipped, contemplating finishing his drink and making his exit.

But before he could move, Deadpool, wearing a sly grin, seized Lupin's arm. "Come on, old chap, rare moments call for lavish indulgence. I'll treat you to another round!"

"I'm not one to partake in excess," Lupin protested, maintaining his righteous stance.

[…]

"I've fallen!"

Lupin slumped onto the plush sofa in the lounge, puffing on a cigar and exclaiming in satisfaction.

In this moment, he felt as though the thirty years of his prior existence had been in vain. Never had he imagined that a Muggle massage could be so blissful!

"Bananas and essential oils again, they truly have their ways," he mused, especially impressed by the masseur's adept hands as they worked wonders on his back.

"At first, it was agony, but now... it's pure bliss!"

"No more backaches, no more sore shoulders!"

"I might even consider howling at the moon!" Lupin declared with newfound enthusiasm.

Meanwhile, Deadpool, seated nearby, wore the defeated expression of a chastised pup, his gaze fixed on the ceiling with a hint of resignation.

He couldn't fathom how such a grand establishment could adhere to such formalities!

[What a fright!]

[Grateful for his help in finding the priciest one, now that I reflect on it, it's truly bleeding me dry!)

[Regrettably, the funds have run dry, so I can't procure another!]

[Nightfall came, and at last, Deadpool and Lupin returned to Hogwarts!]

["Why'd you leave?"]

[In Dumbledore's office, as he munches on gummy bears, feigning nonchalance, he queries!

Lupin suddenly beams:]

[Wade took me for a shooting spree!

[Dumbledore had braced himself for just about anything from the other side, but this was beyond his anticipation!)

[This renders some of the arguments he'd prepared utterly moot. After all, Lupin's been a confirmed bachelor for so long, leaving him at a loss for words!)

[Meanwhile, Deadpool, unaware of Dumbledore's misunderstanding, chuckles:

["So darn comfy, Lupin, up for a round next time?!")

[Dumbledore, thinking the other party was again slyly jesting about his preferences, promptly retorts with a stern face:]

"I didn't enlist you for your pleasure!"

["Myrtle's been sobbing in the ladies' lavatory since yesterday, causing quite a stir. Go see what's amiss!?)

[He figured a man might not gracefully accept such an arrangement!]

[But the next moment, he catches Deadpool's gleaming eyes:]

["Why didn't you say so sooner!")

["It's fine to handle this,]

[",I mean, don't hesitate to burden me with such tasks!")

****

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