Chapter 8: Halloween and Onwards

Leaving the Slytherin common room on Halloween morning, Harry could feel the anticipation in the castle for the feast that night. The smell of baked pumpkin wafted through the castle, and there definitely were more bats and spiders around than usual.

Breakfast didn't seem to be much different than usual though, although there was pumpkin pie. The older students assured him that the hall would be decorated differently come the feast that night, but Harry could see no difference at that point.

"You know, in the muggle world people dress up in strange costumes on Halloween" Harry idly remarked to Draco as they headed out to Herbology.

"Really. Why?" Draco asked, his interest piqued

"No idea. But it's definitely much funnier in retrospect now that I know what witches and wizards look like"

In Herbology that day, they were busy learning the best way to prune a Spiky Bush. Harry was honestly surprised to learn that the plant's actual name was 'Spiky Bush', but he guessed at least it was pretty descriptive.

' Be honest. It sounds like it was named by a toddler'

By the time they were finished class, they were each nursing many minor cuts and pokes. They were given some extra time to wash before Potions, Professor Snape having reminded them to be exceptionally careful with making potions after handling plants.

"Remember, adding even a minute amount of an ingredient to a potion can change it. Ensure there is nothing on your hands that could contaminate your potions. The results would be worse than the garbage I am usually forced to grade"

After Potions, they all headed back to their rooms to have a quick wash before the feast.

Walking into the Great Hall for the Halloween feast was like walking into a totally different room to the one Harry had been eating in every day. It was richly decorated, with the floating candles stuck in Jack-O-Lanterns, and from what Harry could see they all had different shapes carved into them. There were thousands of bats flying around the hall, with moving skeletons draped on the walls.

Harry and Draco sat next to each other as usual, and like always food appeared on the plates.

They had just started eating when the doors slammed open and running footsteps could be heard. Harry turned around in his seat to see Professor Quirrell running up to the head table looking to be in an absolute state.

Everyone stared as he reached Professor Dumbledore's chair, slumped against the table, and gasped, "Troll - in the dungeons - thought you ought to know." He then sank to the floor in a dead faint. There was an uproar. It took several purple firecrackers exploding from the end of Professor Dumbledore's wand to bring silence.

"Prefects," he rumbled, "lead your Houses back to the dormitories immediately!"

"What the hell are we meant to do? Our dormitories are in the dungeons. You know, where the bloody troll is!" Theo sounded really exasperated.

The other Slytherins were saved from answering by the arrival of Professor Snape, robes billowing behind him as he came to a stop next to their table.

"Slytherins will remain here. You may continue your feast. Prefects, you will be watching the doors at all times. If the troll comes through here, head to the back, there is a chamber to the side of the head table. It should be large enough for all of you if need be. Use Colloportus on the door. In fact, use it on the Hall doors immediately"

With that, he too left to go chase the troll.

"Alright. First years move to the back of the table, followed by second years and so on. If the troll does come through here you will immediately run to the chamber Professor Snape mentioned" That was Lionel Horner, the seventh year male prefect talking, "This way the older and more experienced students will be able to cover the retreat". Meanwhile, one of the other prefects had gone to close the Hall doors and use the spell Professor Snape had mentioned.

"Are trolls really that dangerous?" Harry asked Draco once they had settled in at the other side of the table. Oddly enough it was Tracey who answered.

"Kinda. Very spell resistant hides. Stupid enough to attack when outnumbered, so could be dangerous, but against that many seventh years," She finished with a shrug.

"Yeah, but surely the teachers will take care of it?" Daphne asked. She honestly looked quite unconcerned by the whole thing.

"Probably," Draco said

"Well, I'm eating. We may have to run from a rampaging troll, so probably better to do that on a full stomach" Harry said.

"I wonder how it got in?" Blaise said. "And when did Quirrell go? I didn't see him get up"

Not too long later Snape came to the Great Hall. He was absolutely fuming, and so no-one asked him questions once he told them that the troll had been taken care of and that they should head to bed immediately.

The next day, Harry was extremely surprised by the rumors going around that a bunch of Gryffindors had actually fought the troll. Not only that, supposedly it was Granger, Longbottom, and Weasley!

' No way Longbottom could have survived an encounter with a troll. And what would Granger do? Show the troll her perfect test scores?"

Worse, supposedly the three had actually won points for Gryffindor for doing that! Harry really doubted it all, until he heard a Gryffindor prefect talking about it matter-of-factly.

' Well, that certainly explains why Professor Snape was so angry last night. If it had been Slytherins who had been so stupid we probably would have lost hundreds of points. Well, everyone knows everyone but Snape is biased against us'

A big downside to this whole story was that those three seemed to have become much closer friends. Harry figured this out from seeing Longbottom and Weasley in the Library with Granger. It was getting really annoying, whenever they saw him there they would have some stupid comment. Well, really Weasley would have some stupid comment to say, Longbottom and Granger just looked embarrassed.

Harry had debated telling Professor Snape about how Ron was acting towards him, but he decided against it. It really wasn't that bad. If it would get worse he would always be able to tell him.

' Or you could just kill him. Isn't that what you do Harry? Kill people because they hurt your feelings?'

At least Harry was able to return Ron's acid. He had discovered a dry side to his humor, and he had found a few times that he could really turn it against that stupid redhead.

As the time drew nearer to Christmas, Harry found that he was quite looking forward to it. Oh, it wouldn't be the same as having a loving family around him, but from what he heard the Hogwarts Christmas feast was quite the party. And it would definitely be millions of times better than his Christmas' had been at the orphanage.

But Christmas feast aside, Harry was starting to feel that he could use the break. He had been pushing himself quite hard and was consistently one of the top of all their classes. In Defence and Charms, he was actually top of the class. At least, the Slytherin class. There were a few Ravenclaws ahead of him, and that damn Granger. In Defence though, he was top all around. Ever since his conversation with Professor Quirrell, he had started to read up a lot on it, and even though he couldn't do them all properly, he had learned tons of new hexes and jinxes. He had hung back a few times after class to ask Professor Quirrell questions and was becoming really impressed with the man. He noticed that Quirrell barely stuttered when it was just the two of them, and wondered about it at first until he figured it was probably some nervous reaction to crowds.

At the beginning of December Draco came up to Harry in the common room, looking uncharacteristically hesitant.

"Harry, would you like to come stay with me over the Christmas break?"

Harry stared at him, shocked. Even though he felt as if he had come to terms with having friends and being liked, nothing had prepared him for an actual invitation to stay over at a friend's house. For two whole weeks!"

"Come on Harry, it may be cool at Hogwarts, but you have to see Malfoy Manor" Draco whined, seemingly taking Harry's silence as rejection.

"Draco, I'd love to! Please, tell your parents I'll be there. Thank you so much!"

"Fantastic. I'll owl my parents. They'll be pleased".

Harry started getting really excited for Christmas break. His excitement was building up and his mood was really good until he had one terrible day.

The day had started off well enough. He and Draco had brewed a perfect Forgetfulness Potion and had received a rare smile from Professor Snape instead of his customary sneer.

His good luck continued at the library during the lunch break. He had wanted to find a book that would explain transfiguration theory in a way that he could understand it. All the other books he had found on this topic had left him befuddled and rubbing his head in confusion at all the advanced terms used. That day, however, he had managed to find something which seemed to be exactly what he was looking for. The book was called a Theory of Transfiguration Grade 1, and flipping through it he found that he had some idea of what most of the words used meant.

It was as he was heading out of the library after checking the book out that his good mood began to evaporate.

He was weaving his way through the shelves when he heard something from behind a shelf that made him stop dead in his tracks.

"I'm telling you, Hermione, Snape is trying to steal it!"

' Steal what? What is that Weasley talking about now?'

"And I'm telling you, Ronald, that a teacher of all people would not be trying to steal something that Dumbledore is trying to keep safe!"

' Well, Granger seems to be the voice of reason. What do they Think Professor Snape is trying to steal anyway?'

"Well then Hermione, explain what I saw! His leg was all cut, and he was complaining about that dog!"

' What the hell are they talking about?'

"Maybe he just wanted to check that whatever is down there is safe?"

"Come on Hermione! That's the lamest thing I've ever heard. You just can't accept that a teacher could be evil"

"You haven't given me a real reason to think that Snape is evil!"

' Professor Snape? Evil? That's ridiculous, he's been so kind to me'

"Seriously? Don't you see the way he treats us? He's totally biased towards the Slytherins, and all of them are evil"

' Huh? What?'

"Come on Ron, they can't all be evil. I mean, Harry Potter's in Slytherin"

' Why the hell am I getting dragged into this argument?'

"He's the worst of them. How could he have defeated You-Know-Who unless he was already a really powerful Dark Wizard? And he's best friends with that Malfoy, and-"

Harry couldn't just listen to that anymore. His heart was pounding and his hands were actually shaking with rage.

' He's not wrong. You are a Dark Wizard. You've already killed two people. Remember that? How you-'

' I'M GLAD I KILLED THEM, NOW SHUT UP'

Clearing his throat, Harry walked out from behind his shelf and into the path of the Gryffindors' vision. Their reactions were immediate, Granger letting out a surprised squeak and raising her hands to her mouth, Ron standing up, eyes widening and face reddening.

"So you like that hey" Harry said, voice quivering with the suppressed desire to scream and roar, "Talking about people behind their backs?"

"I-I-I" Weasley sputtered and started

"No, shut the hell up. You really think that a one-year-old baby could be a powerful enough Dark wizard to defeat the Dark Lord?" Harry asked, trying to inject a note of scorn into his voice, but not really succeeding, he was just too angry. "Dear Merlin, Weasley, you really are dumber than you look"

Harry stormed out of the library leaving their shocked faces to watch his back. He thought he heard Weasley shout something after him, but it was lost in the roaring in his ears.

' I thought I was done with being the object of fear and scorn. I really thought things would be different here-'

' But Harry, things are different here. You've made friends, and there are adults who are looking out for you and-'

' And people are still talking about me! People still think I'm some evil, dangerous freak'

Harry was so caught up in his mental ravings that he didn't even notice he was going to bump into someone until he had jostled the Groundskeepers' enormous torso. He had been walking with his eyes blurry from tears after all and was mostly looking at his feet anyways.

"'Ey, watch where yer goin' there! Oh, it's you 'Arry."

' And now this idiot'

"Hello Mr. Hagrid," Harry said, dully.

"Just call me Hagrid 'Arry. You know, I've been meaning to have you come over for tea"

"Maybe another time, sir, I just have something to do"

' Yes. I need to get away from you and go brood'

"You know, it's a real shame I haven' invited you already. You know I picked you up from yer paren's house?"

"Really?" Harry said, actually interested despite the torrent of emotions within him.

"Yep," Hagrid puffed out his chest a bit and stood a little straighter "Dumbledore knew 'e could trust me to get you out of there safely. Oh, it was terrible. The whole house in ruins, yer parents… An' you 'Arry, somehow you survived that"

' Really? I was half sure I died there. I should have known this moron would have nothing to say worth hearing'

"An' then, I brung you to your aunt and uncle. I think it's actually better you din't live with 'em. 'Orrible people I hear"

' Wait, what? Aunt and uncle?'

"My… Aunt and uncle?" Harry asked, really uncertainly

"Yeah. Muggles, of course, yer mother's sister an' 'er husband"

"And then you took me to the orphanage?"

' Finally, someone other than Dumbledore who was involved in that. Someone I can demand some answers from"

"Wha'? No! It was yer aunt an' uncle who took you there. I was so shocked, I thought with a house like theirs they'd defini'ely take you in. Just goes to show dunnit?"

"They didn't tell you they wouldn't keep me?"

Hagrid looked concerned now.

' He probably wasn't meant to tell me this'

"Er, you probably should speak to Professor Dumbledore about this. He knows a lo' more than me. Great man, Dumbledore"

"Oh. I will. But could you just please tell me what you do know?"

' TELL ME YOU IDIOT, TELL ME'

"I dunno 'Arry"

' Play the sympathy card. He'll fall for that'

"It's just that no-one's ever really explained to me about how I ended up in the orphanage. I didn't even know about my parents until Dumbledore came to talk to me, and I didn't even know I still have living family until right now! I've been thinking I was all alone, and you say I have family?"

Oh, Hagrid was definitely looking uncomfortable now.

"Well, I guess it can't hurt. I was only there when we left you, you know, Dumbledore came back to speak to them after they sent you to tha' place"

"Left me?"

"Yeah, we put you on the doorstep where they would see you, an' gave them a letter and-"

"You left me on the doorstep?"

"Well, you were in the basket an' had yer blanket an'-"

"You left me on a doorstep"

Hagrid shifted nervously.

"'Arry, are you alright? You soun'-"

"No, Hagrid, I am not fucking alright. You left me on a doorstep. On the doorstep of muggles like I was a newspaper. You didn't explain anything to them, just POP- Here's a baby"

"Wait, wait. I never said that. Dumbledore wrote them a letter an' said it would explain wha'ever they would need to know and-"

"Oh, Dumbledore wrote them a letter. EVERYTHING IS OK BECAUSE DUMBLEDORE WROTE THEM A LETTER. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH?"

And then Harry was running, leaving Hagrid shaking his head with tears in his eyes. He was running down the staircases, not even sure where he was going, but he was running. Tears were streaming down his face and snot bubbling out of his nose, but he didn't even notice.

' Fucking Dumbledore. Made it sound like it was all a great plan. Really, the stupid muggles just turned aside a doorstep baby. Oh, milkman, what do you have? Three bottles and a baby. It's his fault. He did this to me'

Images ran through his head, memories of the worst times in the orphanage. Joseph and his group laughing as he cried in the mud. Opening his closet to find all his stuff soaked in water. Mr. Roberts unbuckling his belt.

Harry ended up crouched in an alcove. No idea where he was or what floor he was on. He just leaned back against the wall, stretched out his legs, covered his face with his hands and wept. He wept like he hadn't since his early years in the orphanage before he learned to mask his feelings.

After what felt like hours, he heard footsteps coming towards him. He was just wiping his eyes when he heard a concern laden voice

"Mr. P-P-Potter? A-A-Are you alright?"

Harry jumped to his feet. He definitely didn't want to appear weak in front of Professor Quirrell.

"Yes sir," He said, trying to hide his snuffling "Thank you, sir"

"A-A-Are you sure?"

And then, Harry broke his rule.

"No, sir. I'm actually not alright. Nothing is alright."

"W-Whats the m-matter?"

The concern and sympathy in his voice was almost enough to get Harry to break down again, but he was determined not to.

' Why am I talking to him? I should be telling Professor Snape. He would try to help me'. But Harry couldn't help it. Something just felt welcoming about Professor Quirrell.

"Sir, how much do you know about how I grew up?"

The professor looked a bit taken aback by this line of conversation.

"N-Not p-particularly much"

"Well, it was terrible. I grew up in a muggle orphanage and- it was terrible" Harry's voice cracked a little bit on the last words. He wanted to go on, to explain just how bad it was, how it felt to live suffering at the hands of those who should have been his friends on a day to day basis. How the harassment needled and poked, how the neverending mockery drove into his skin until he felt like he would burst. How he had spent hours hiding from his tormentors. But he couldn't say that he couldn't put ten years of pain into words. So he simply repeated

"It was terrible"

He took a deep breath, looking down at his shoes, missing the red glint in Quirrell's eyes before he looked back up.

"And I've just found out that it was-it was Dumbledore's fault I went through that. He told me before, but he made it sound like it was all a great plan and it was necessary. It wasn't. He made stupid decisions and I lived in Hell and"

He was crying again, he couldn't carry on talking.

"Harry. It's alright. You're not in that place anymore"

"That's not what I'm upset about" He cried, wringing his hands, "I'm angry, and hurt, and betrayed. He should have kept me safe after my parents were killed. He should have"

"Dumbledore has a habit of being too trusting"

This made Harry look up, startled. He hadn't expected a teacher to say something like that.

"Oh yes" Quirrell went on "Far too trusting and naïve. Particularly when it comes to Muggles. A young wizard should never have been forced to live with them. They can not understand Magic. And it is human nature to fear that which is not understood"

"Sir?" Harry asked tentatively, "What should I do?"

Quirrell blinked as if he had forgotten where he was for a moment.

"D-D-Do? About what?"

"Dumbledore. I can't trust him after what I've learned. And I don't want to go back to the muggles"

"You don't need to trust Dumbledore. He is a powerful and learned wizard to be sure, but there are others. As for the muggles, speak to your head of house about looking for adoption within a wizarding family. Otherwise, you could always spend most, if not all your summers with one of your friends"

"Really? People would be willing to have me for that long?"

"Mr. Potter, you are often surrounded by friends. They seem to enjoy your presence. Those from wealthier families, like the Malfoy's or the Nott's, would surely be able to provide for you over a summer"

' It could be. I mean, Draco has just invited me for two weeks. Maybe I'll always be able to get away from the Muggles'

"Now Mr. Potter, run along. It's nearing curfew you kn-kn-know"

"Thank you, sir, really"

And Harry walked off, not noticing the spells being cast in his direction upon him by the Professor he was coming close to loving.

Not noticing the startled noise that did not come from Professor Quirrell's mouth.