Chapter 019 – Sorrow

[288 AC]

Enjoying the soft breeze caressing his face, as he laid on the grassy plain, Phenex couldn't help but sigh.

A year and a half had passed since the event that was now known as the 'Conquest of Three Cities'.

A timespan in which he mostly stayed with Saphire and Jade, growing more distant from the world in general, while he made sure to visit his mother every few days, his last visit just taking place the day before.

His mother had also grown very fond of his two curious and untameable dragon children.

Still, Phenex had slowly realized why his father and ancestors had spent a lot of their time sleeping or resting on their own, enjoying peace and quiet by themselves.

For a phoenix like him, human life seemed all too fragile, all their conflicts being mere squabbles amongst children from his point of view. And even if he gifted them longevity like he had done with Kinvara, he knew that their mind would slowly crumble.

It might not happen in a thousand years or more, but eventually their mortal soul wouldn't be able to withstand the vicissitudes of time, like he would.

His father had lived for hundreds of thousands of years, wandering through the stars from one world to another, immortal and ever-powerful, before he decided to accept death with open arms.

It was also his impending death that made it possible for him to bond with his mother Allyria like such, as the finality of his own life had given him a chance to truly savour every moment he had spent with her, knowing that another one wouldn't come.

Brushing over the scales on Saphire's head, as she pressed her nose against his side in an attempt to get his attention, Phenex stopped his musings as he looked at her. Her low draconic purr, signaling how much she enjoyed his ministrations, reaching his ears only a moment later.

Sapphire had grown to a size twice as large as a normal dog in only two years, her dark blue scales shining beautifully in the moonlit night.

Phenex knew that her fast growth had something to do with the fact that he had hatched her using his fire and magic, which was something unique even for dragons.

Suddenly a loud screech sounded out, as a white shadow swooped down from the sky and practically crash-landed right next to him, before he felt Jade jealously pushing against him from the other side.

Laughing lightly at the needy dragon's behaviour, Phenex did his duty as a dragon father and caressed her scales the same way he did for her sister, Jade's sparkling pure-white scales an incredibly beautiful sight to behold.

They were currently somewhere in North Valyria, after traveling over the unihabited plains of Essos the last few months. The two young dragons eager for the freedom the open land provided.

Suddenly though the light-hearted atmosphere around him vanished, as deep sorrow and utter anguish filled his heart.

Instinctively Phenex's form turned into fiery elements and vanished from the grass field a moment later, along with the two dragonlings at his side.

Manifesting once again at his childhood home, Phenex gaze found the reason for his heartache.

His mother's form, laying deathly still on the silken sheets of her bedding, an empty vial in the palm of her left hand. It was his magic and rule over life itself that had informed him of her passing, or more acurately her suicide.

Unwilling to believe what all his senses told him was the truth, he stepped to her side and gently placed his hand on her still warm flesh.

Sapphire and Jade, meanwhile had gone quiet, as if sensing the heavy mood of their father. They looked on as Phenex prepared to draw on his power to revive the one person most dear to him, before his gaze fell on a folded piece of paper right next to her angelic face.

The words 'To my little Firestar.' could be read on it, written in his mother's handwriting.

His free hand grabbing the letter with trembling hands, as he paused his attempts to revive her for a moment. Unfolding the piece of paper, he could see a few stains decorating the message, indicating that his mother had been crying, while writing it.

In somewhat of a daze, Phenex started reading the words his mother had left for him, as grief tore his heart apart.

…

Forgive me Firestar, as I leave you so early on your journey. I know that you will struggle to understand my actions, but you should know that a large part of my heart died with my brother, sister and finally your father, even before your birth.

The small pieces that remained, barely strong enough to survive long enough to see you grow up and be independent.

You are allowed to be sad about my death, but when you are, please remember that I love you, even when I can't be at your side anymore to tell you so myself.

I know that you will do a great many more things in this life and I want you to know that I am incredibly proud of you. And I am sure your father is too.

We will be waiting for the day that you will join us again, though I hope you will take your time, my little Firestar.

With Great Love

Your Mother

…

Silent tears fell onto the paper, adding to the stains his mother's tears had left behind, as Phenex closed his eyes for a moment of silent sorrow.

Opening them again, Phenex sighed sadly, as he looked over his mother, knowing that he could not revive her without going against her wishes.

And while he would normally not overly care about the wants of others, Phenex couldn't bring himself to be selfish at this moment, as he decided to let his mother rest in peace.

Letting go of her hand, Phenex silently made his way out of the little hut, as Sapphire and Jade followed behind him, giving off low and sorrowful screeches, as they rubbed their heads against his legs, trying to comfort him.

Once outside the little house he had lived in with his mother for the first years of his life, Phenex infused his magic into the letter in his hands, bringing alive the characters his mother had written for him and plucking them from the paper.

Looking at the words floating above his hands, he filled the letters with his inner fire, incinerating the piece of paper in his hands while doing so, before he shrunk the words and drew them towards his chest, as he branded them into his immortal flesh, directly above his heart.

The painful branding, not even managing to make him tense up a single muscle in pain during the process.

After he was done, Phenex extended his mind outwards, as he captured his uncle's presence and signalled him mentally that he was needed in the courtyard.

It was only a few short minutes later, that his uncle hurriedly walked into the secluded area with a heavy look on his face.

"Mother, she … she took her own life.", Phenex voiced out softly, before the Lord of the castle could ask for the reason he had been called.

Instead he froze in his tracks, as shock and immeasurable sorrow appeared in the man's eyes, as he likewise shed a few silent tears at having now lost even the last of his siblings.

In a span of moments the Lord of Starfall seemed to have aged ten years, his whole demeanor gaining a heavy tint of melancholy.