His side

Yuzuru, on the other hand, barely had time to think of anything else besides his training.

Leaving Japan had been a very hard choice, not because of how much he loved his home country but because he had to leave her.

The thoughts of Sakura constantly filled his mind.

His father kept him updated on a lot of things, he knew she had gone abroad to study and wondered if it was somewhat his fault that she decided to make that decision.

It was more painful than he liked to admit, realizing that he had probably lost her for good. They were too young and too naive to talk things through.

When he decided to go to Canada, the plan had always been to see her often. He had plans to go to Japan often while he was still finishing high school and it would be easy to keep their contact.

Sure, all the trips were exhausting but it would have been worth it if he could see her.

No such luck.

From what he was told, she hadn't gotten back to Japan, not even during summer holidays or special days.

He had more contact with her parents than she did. Her mother had told him that she was very closed off to anything related to Japan and it was hard to even get her to consider coming back for a few days.

It saddened him beyond reason, not because he missed her, even though he did, but because he could see how much pain it was bringing to the family. And part of him couldn't help but wonder if it was his fault.

Still, his life had to go on, and even as time passed and his chance for medals was increasing day by day, deep down in his mind was always his Sakura.

Not that he had any right to call her his, but he just wondered if they could have a chance someday.

He hoped for the day that fate then brought them back together.

Even as he focused on his skating career and winning the Olympics at such a young age, the first thought on his mind after celebrating with the coaches was how much he wanted her to be here.

I won, did you see it? We did it! he wanted to tell her.

Yuzuru clearly remembered the day he had gifted her his first world medal, even if it was just a junior one.

He hadn't lied back then, meeting her fueled his need to win and show her how good it could be.

Stupidly enough, the need to win medals was exactly what brought them apart.

Celebrating this win wasn't the same without her. And on top of all of it, he felt guilty for being happy when other disaster victims were still painfully recovering.

The invisible wounds were too big to forget.

Sure, he had just won his first Olympics, but at what cost?

🌸

Winning the Olympics brought a lot of attention to him.

Just like any other young adult, Yuzuru loved the attention and it wasn't even hard to find people to share his joys.

He didn't, at first.

Not even as he won worlds right after the Olympics.

Two whole years had to pass before he even considered finding anyone else but her.

During the time he was a straight-up saint, injuries and surgeries had always been his excuse but as he felt himself getting older, seeing his friends getting girls and having fun all the time, he got curious.

His 'Let's go crazy' costume had been slightly derived from the need to know if he had any chances.

He wanted the attention and certainly got it, just not from who he wanted.

Yuzuru barely had to do anything to get company for the night, a single wink at the hotel halls was enough to get some girls to offer themselves to him.

It was disgusting in his eyes, but he felt that it was what he needed to do.

By now, all of his hopes of ever getting near the woman of his dreams were dissipated and he was sick of Javi always getting girls while he watched.

And so he went for it.

Yeah, and it wasn't great.

Being with Sakura had been a bit awkward, but nothing compared to the first girl he took on his bed after her. He felt like she realized his inexperience even before they reached the bedroom, constantly telling him that it would be okay and she would teach him all he needed to know.

"It's not my first time." He had mumbled in accented English to the woman who probably had no idea who he was.

"Then why are you so nervous? I will show you a good time."

Well, in the end, he did climax, it wasn't as if it was ever bad for men, but he felt so weird and awkward when it was all over that he wasn't sure to ever do that again.

It was only a few weeks later that he tried again.

And guess what? It was going fine, he was confident in his skin, feeling sexy and everything.

Maybe that was the problem because moaning another girl's name as you climaxed was never good for the person on the other side.

He had never felt so embarrassed.

How could this girl consume his every thought after so long? Would he even be able to move on?

It was on that night, after he profusely apologized to the woman on the bed and ran away as fast as he could that he made the decision not to try it again.

He could live without sex.

Well, maybe not forever, but he still wished that fate did its magic because otherwise, he would truly be screwed.

There would never be another one for him.