Chapter 7: The Awkward Reunion (Jack’s POV)

I went to Rebecca's hotel; for understandable reasons, she chose to remain there rather than at my apartment.

I hardly break the silence as I say, "Thanks for meeting me."

When Rebecca does look up, her face is reserved. "But I'm here for Lila's sake."

There she is, Lila. I can't help but feel as though there might be some possibility to make up for all the things I've missed out on in her life.

I add, attempting to hide my eagerness, "I want to see her. Rebecca, I need to see her."

She sighs, and her hesitancy is visible in her eyes. "I know you do, Jack. However, this isn't about your needs or wants. It concerns Lila's best interests.

"Getting to know her father is in her best interest" I say, slightly raising my voice. "That's what she deserves."

Rebecca's eyes narrow, and for an instant, I can see the same ferocity in them that I recall from years before. "Does she?"

Her words pierce deeply into my chest, as if they were a slap on the cheek. I utter, "I know I wasn't there," with a wave of resignation. "And I am aware that I prioritized the job, but now things are different."

She says, "Are they?" with a melancholy in her eyes that I can't help but notice. "Jack, you're still pursuing cases and being entangled in the confusion ignoring your health..."

Although she doesn't say it all, it's obvious what she means. I'm erratic. And Lila doesn't need that.

I say, "I'm trying to change," and my voice becomes irritated. "I would like to support her. I don't want to be some outsider left out of her life due to past mistakes."

Rebecca appears more cautious, but her expression softens. "You want to support her, I know that. However, she has heard the accident and your work. Jack, she's scared. To be honest, I am as well."

"What are you afraid of?" With a tight voice, I ask. "Are you scared I'll vanish again? Or are you worried that you can't trust me?

She doesn't react immediately away, and the stillness feels oppressive, like a weight crushing down on me. "I'm worried about what will happen to her if you get close to her and then you start to drift apart once more. You don't know how much it wounded her the first time."

I forcefully swallow, sensing the guilt gnawing at me. She is correct.

"I just want a chance," I say, my voice quiet. "I need to try."

Rebecca turns her head away, staring out the window at the far-off flickering city lights. My heart falls when I imagine for a split second that she could say no. She inhales deeply, though, and then looks back at me.

"All right, However, we go slowly. She has to feel secure. You have to accept her decision if she says she's not ready.'

I feel a wave of relief, but it's mixed with fear. "Of course,' I swear. "I'll go above and beyond."

There's a hint of a smile, a timid little motion that takes me back to happier times. However, it disappears as soon as it appears, and our distance from one another feels much wider than before.

At last, I speak, more of a statement than a question, "You still want to stay at the same hotel." She always picked this area when she arrived in the city, and I can recognize the wallpaper and the gentle yellow lighting.

"For the time being," she shrugs. "I have no idea how long I'll be here."

"Stay as long as you need," I offer. "I'll be around."

Her eyes linger on mine, and there's a flare of something—maybe nostalgia or maybe sorrow. "We'll see," she adds quietly. "I don't want to make any promises."

We exchange a few more polite words before she guides me to the door. The hallway is quiet, and the sound of the latch clicking shut feels like the end of an era. I want to speak more, apologize to her, and ask to be given another chance. But I can't get the words out of my throat.

My mind is racing with images of Lila as I enter the lift. I want to think that things will be different this time around and that I can succeed. But what if I fail again? A knot of worry is getting thicker in my chest.

Back in my apartment, the silence is almost soothing. Even though it is after 11:00 p.m. the sounds of distant sirens and traffic, are still there from the city outside. I sit down at the kitchen table, pour myself a drink, and just look at the glass that is empty.

I make an effort to forget the weight of the evening, but Rebecca's comments can't help but cross my thoughts. What if I vanish once more?

The flashes come on suddenly, intense and fast, like a shockwave of energy. It's no longer my apartment. The area changes, and I find myself standing in an unfamiliar place with icy gray walls. I can see the face when I get a closer look at the body on the floor.

Lila.

With her eyes wide open and her face paralyzed by fear, she lies there. I can feel the weight of the knife in my palm and my hands are dripping with blood. I try to yell and move, but my body feels immobile. I can smell the metallic taste of blood and feel the cold air prickling my skin because the vision is so real and vivid.

Once more, the scene changes, and I find myself watching her from above. But it's not the me that I know. It's a spooky, distant rendition that gives me the impression that a ghost lives inside of me.

I snap back to reality, gasping for air and streaming cold sweat down my cheeks. My hands shaking, I glance down, half expecting to see blood. But there's nothing but an empty glass in front of me.

Grasping my eyes, I murmur, "Get a grip. That isn't true."

But the nervousness doesn't go away. The image of Lila lying there, staring up at me, haunts me. It's over the top. With trembling hands, I grab my phone and begin browsing through my contacts. I need to talk to someone to keep myself in check.

I stop to think about Sarah's name. The only person who might possibly understand and assist me in deciphering these flashes is her. But doubt starts to seep in as I hit the phone button. What happens if this isn't simply my illness? What if there's something deeper hiding in my mind, something I can't control?

The phone rings once, twice. Her voice then enters, steady and calm. "Jack, how are things going?"

I want to tell her about Lila, about the vision. However, the words become stuck in my throat. "I'm not sure," I utter, my voice hardly audible above a whisper.

"Where are you?" she asks, sounding worried now.

I manage, breathing in short gasps, "Home. I just… Something caught my eye. It seemed so real."

She says, "What did you see?" and her uneasiness comes through in her voice.

'I close my eyes and see Lila's face flashing in front of me again. It was Lila. She was hurting herself."

On the other end of the telephone, the silence is intolerable. Finally, she says something. "It's just the flashes, Jack. Your mind's playing tricks on you."

"But what if it's not?" I whisper. "What if there's more to it?"

"Just stay put," she urges. "I'll arrive shortly."

I just have to wait as the wall clock keeps moving more and farther away from me. I have lost all sense of reality.