Minato 1-3

As I get ready to go the Academy, I can't help but feel excited. The first reason is fairly obvious, I get to have my chakra unlocked finally. I can then perform Ninja magic..Yipee..

Cough cough* No one saw anything... Anyways, the second reason is not known to anyone other than Uncle Kazuta. I don't about any Naruto fanfic or even Canon!Naruto but I know that the adults in this world at least the ones who are not Jonins are responsible. Yay for me not being in an idiotic iteration of Narutoverse. While I have long since determined that this is an AU of Canon!Naruto and I don't have anything against the fact. I am just relieved that this is not a universe where everyone other than me and my family has IQ in the negatives.

Yes, I had that possibility in mind as well due to having read too many Naruto fanfics. On one hand, the universe would have bent over for me but not before making me edgy as shit which I admit to having become a little. On the other hand, life in such a universe would feel much like a dream than a reality and I would always prefer reality over dreams as dreams don't let us experience anything other than happiness. A person can't be truly happy if he hasn't experienced sadness.

I don't know who I stole the quote from but it is my original quote in this world. Anyways, the second reason I am excited to go to the Academy is to see Sarutobi fuckmothering Hiruzen. You know the guy who almost killed Orochimaru when he was WAY past his prime and should have keeled over any moment during the original series. Yeah that badass motherfucker. I know he is going to spread propaganda about the 'Will of Fire' and all that shit but seriously that is what any government does. It was done in my old life, it is done in this one. I don't know the problem of those guys who bashed Hiruzen on this fact. Man, it's his job to indoctrinate us. What the hell do you expect? Actually the real reason I want to meet him isn't known to anyone but me.

*Flashback to when parents werealive*

I am now a 4 year old and dad has taught me some basic taijustu. It is honestly very easy for me to do. Dad seems to think I am some type of prodigy but I am just a reincarnated man in a little boy's body. Ewww... Repeating that thought tells me how incriminating that was.

I was just about to sleep when Dad suddenly came to my room.

"Hey Dad, what's up?" Seriously, why is dad here? It is past midnight.

"Nothing son. Couldn't get sleep without your mom. She is out on a mission, remember?" Translation: I can't sleep without having sex with your mother. It has been some days since I had that.

"Yeah Dad I know but why are you here? Please don't tell me you are telling me one of your stories again..*shudders*"

"No! No! Your mom has explicitly told me not to tell you my 'stories'. Honestly what's wrong with telling you my and my squads escapades from Land of Hot Springs?"

Yeah, you can see where this is going. Apparently, Land of Hot Springs has world famous brothels and 'escorts'. Ninja get up to kinky shit so mom doesn't mind that Dad wasn't a virgin before her. At least that's what I guessed. Apparently no one told Dad that you don't tell such 'stories' to children. He thought that it was funny that his son was listening his sex escapades and didn't understand anything.

Dad's sense of humour is very twisted. It is about the only thing I dislike about Mom and Dad. Shinobi have a very weird sense of humour. Mom's humour is less disastrous but still very awkward. Apparently her sense of humour involves getting Dad arrested for some issue or other. The police force doesn't even a problem with it nowadays as Dad goes to jail so often that most of the guys there are his friends. *Ahem* So Mom then banned Dad from telling me such(in her own language) 'tame sexual adventures and ruining our boy's own adventures through bad habits'. Shinobi are weird. No offense.

"Dad, so why the hell are you here?"

"Easy my boy! Even if I can't tell you 'stories', I can spend sometime telling you about anything you want.."

Huh? This is actually a good opportunity. Dad's antsy over having nothing to do and I can probably get some juicy info..

"Let's see... Can you tell me about the Hokages dad?"

"Of course Minato. Which one would like me to tell you about?"

Hmm.. which one would be a good source of knowledge? Tobirama maybe? I know all about Hashirama anyways. And I also know enough about my namesake.

"Can you tell me Tobirama?" Why has Dad's smile strained so much so fast?

"Kid, I know you will not get it but you just have to get this much. Tobirama was a massive prick. No one in the upper management likes him, not even his students. Well except for Danzo but according to his teammates, he was always a sensei's boy." Eww.. That sounded disturbing with and without context.

"Let's just leave the topic at that. *whispers to himself* Anything more I will say will be considered treason even if I say that if front of my 4 year child who won't understand anything. Kami-sama, politics is messed up"

While I didn't quite get what dad was whispering to himself. I got the general gist that no one should blame Tobirama for anything openly. Well if I can't quite the information about Tobirama other than the fact that he was a prick, I should at least get some information about

"Umm.. so if you can't say anything about the Second Hokage, how about you tell me about the third?"I see Dad's smile becoming a lot more genuine this time.

"The third is a great Hokage. Many people compare him to the First and no one really objects. It is because he genuinely believes in the 'Will of Fire' the first believed in. Many don't know about this interesting tidbit but the Third was always a bit more closer to Hashirama and Mito when compared to his relationship with Tobirama. While Tobirama's squad were officially only his students, they were mostly the combined students of the Senjus. Otherwise as busy as Tobirama was with so many missions, I don't really see anyway his squad could have received any meaningful education from him. Once again there is always an exception. Danzo was apparently Tobirama's favourite student and his apprentice. The only reason Tobirama gave the Third the hat instead of Danzo was the Third's charisma. It's a very popular take amongst the Jonins that during the battle in which Nidaime died the Third immediately offered to sacrifice himself to coming Kinkaku squad from Kumo. Now this doesn't mean that the other members of the squad were self-centred..*Although Danzo definitely is*.."

"Huh? What did you say Dad?"

"Uh... Nothing... Well as I was saying.. this doesn't mean that the rest of the squad was self centred but actually it demonstrates the Third's incredible Charisma. You see while the Hokage IS the most powerful ninja of the village, he is also the LEADER of the village and he leads by example."

"There have been many opportunities over the last 12 years where a war could have erupted if Konoha had been as 'agressive' as during Nidaime's reign but the Third knows how to negotiate peacefully and how to return fire with fire. It's not that we are docile. It's that we were too 'agressive' during our earlier years. And while the 'will of fire' is pure propaganda, the Third wholeheartedly believes in it. That is what makes him special. He considers the whole village his own and will do anything for it. While most Jonin have there own philosophy on life most do have a bit of a 'Will of Fire' in them" The way Dad smiles when talking about the Third actually seems genuine. Phoof... I didn't really want to deal with a machiavellian mastermind Hiruzen or a Hiruzen who's senile. What can I say? Naruto fanfics have corrupted me. This Hokage seems like a genuinely good guy because I don't believe that anyone can be deceived so much except for well those 'root' guys but honestly Dad's alright.

*Flashback ends*

I have been a bit of a fan of the Third since that day. And also reading the Academy books have gotten to me why Tobirama is considered a prick. While the books have obviously been censored by Tobirama, his feats of drowning Iwa and Suna aren't. Like what the hell man? Suna's our ally. I know it was an all out war but Suna was just having skirmishes with us. Like the information provided clearly says that there wasn't much hostility from hostility from Suna. I am suprised there even was some even though we were clearly allies prior to the war. Something tells me that it was probably Tobirama's fault. Anyways, what was the actual fucking need of fucking over our allies? It clearly says that Tobirama drowned their crops because they were against Konoha and the 'Will of Fire'. Yeah that's horseshit and I know it. Here we have reasons for why things happen. Allies just don't turn into enemies at the turn of a weren't even any major battles and Tobirama just cost us a valuable ally. If this is the kind of shit censored!Tobirama pulls, I don't know what he actually pulled for him to not at all be liked by the upper brass of the military.

Anyways, I am a bit excited to meet the most badass ninja in Konoha(present period obviously). The Sannins haven't been formed yet and there hasn't been a war for Hatake Sakumo to shine in so Hiruzen definitely gets the award of the most badass ninja. At first I thought that the Jiraiya plushie was famous because Jiraiya's a Sannin but no it's actually because of Icha Icha Paradise. Shinobi are sex fiends. That much common sense I have gained at the loss of some of my sanity. And Jiraiya's Icha Icha is like the Fifty shades of Grey of this world. Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru are famous but as the Third's students not as their own individuals. They haven't accomplished anything of note as of now except for well Jiraiya. His Icha Icha books are apparantly quite famous. Ahah.. there's the academy.I just hope I make some friends