Chapter e Amnesia

Her face flushed bright red, even redder than it already was, and she pulled the sides of her dress together. She reached over to the side table and opened the small drawer. Then, she presented him with a shiny metal pen laying horizontally in her hand. "It hurts too much when you bite me and take it. If you want it, I'll give it to you, whenever you want it."

He leaned forward, enticed more by the drink than the sex. He hardly noticed the change of desire. "I don't know..." He shook his head and laid back down, repressing his wants. "Let it go. It's OK…"

The edges of her eyes hardened and her mouth construed into a deep frown. She gripped the metal pen like a dagger and stabbed it into the mattress. "Oh, never mind!" she blasted. "You've ruined it! I can't stand looking at you!" She closed the buttons of her dress and glared back over her shoulder, past him. "This isn't going to work. We've tried… and we've tried, again. Finally, we got somewhere and you ended up ruining it."

"I'm trying to tell you…" Iggy sat on his knees and leant across the bed to reach out to her, but she jerked her head and shoulder away hastily. "We don't really know each other," he continued. "Not at all. Don't you think we should be friends first? At least?"

"Oh! What's the point?!" Giving into the depression, she slipped back into the bed, drawing her knees up toward her stomach. She hid her face in a pillow. "We were arranged to be married!" She clenched the pillow against her face, trying to smother the words coming out of her mouth. "But I don't want to be with you anymore. You'll just forget me anyways. You always do!"

Iggy stood from the bed. "You're giving up on me? Already?"

She peeked up at him, watching, sneering. Wanting him to feel at fault for her stupid plan. "Let it go," she hissed back.

Even though she was immature, and sadly conniving, he still looked at her like she was a golden apple, a prize. He didn't want to lose her simply for the sake of the game. Then, he noticed the dark blanket that she was lying on. It was his black blanket, the one that he always had, and what was most surprising was that it still resided in his room. His laugh was loud, and especially misplaced as he pointed at it and said, "ah-ha! That's mine!"

He snagged the corners and whipped it right out from under her. His face glowed with delight as he flung it around himself like a cape. There was no such comparable luxury as when the shadows returned to him by the way. The darkness was a living breathing part of him that longed to be whole again, held back by something as simple as white clothing. Once he welcomed it back, he became embraced as naturally and effortlessly as if he had never had the gift stripped from him at all. He felt unconditionally loved. He didn't even need Emi.

Even if she could see him act like an asswit, he ran out of the bedroom fast enough so that she wouldn't know in which direction he had gone, screaming, "freedom!" He charged down the dead silent hallway laughing, but when he heard no one following him, he stopped.

The moment instantly became surreal. Absolutely no one was awake or moving. The windows all around the building were blacked out, making the inside darker than a cave for nocturnal animals to sleep and he was the only diurnal animal. He dragged his hand across the textured wallpaper and the crisp ruffle of his fingers gliding over the edges echoed against the ceiling in the main lobby. He wondered how many times he had done the same thing. How many nights he had replayed the same routine and said the same words. Tonight… or today, he was going to change everything.

He was going to hide.

The shame was, his options were very limited. The sun was scorching the day away outside, the other members were fast asleep in their own rooms, and if he wanted to avoid Emi he needed to at least stay on the first floor and he was definitely going to stay far away from the basement. So, he went to the entertainment room.

Because of the television and plush pillowed couches, the entertainment room was the liveliest room in the house. Members came in and out all night. They had most of their conversations and romanced each other there. Since this room was nearest to the front door, the control panel for the security system and cameras was located there as well.

No one would have expected him to be there, ever. They'd be too busy checking the dark unpopulated spaces first, such as closets and under staircases, which would give him some opportunities to wait it out until night came back around. Then, he'd be able to distance himself from the house all together, perhaps even stay in the village miles away. He was strangely optimistic about running away.

When he came into the entertainment room, he saw that every painting, flower vase, and carpet thread was lying perfectly without a single speck of dust. Their home was full of meticulous cleaners who couldn't sit still in a room that was even minutely disorderly. So much so that cleaning consumed most of their caloric intake. He looked down at his feet sinking into the carpet, creating footprints in the freshly vacuumed space. He wondered if after all of his first time experiences and experiments run out, if he too would become indulged in such habits and obsessions such as cleaning.

Nothing was impossible, really. He was capable of change. For example, the television sat across from him. Before, Baine or Nansen would declare the entertainment room off limits, then and only then, Iggy could play video games on the TV. It was a huge highlight for him. A reward for staying out of the way. But now, all desire to turn it on again wasn't there. He was content just sitting alone without the old distraction. Everything from the natural world was so much more fascinating than any man-made object ever could be, anyways. The invisible air. The light and darkness. Warm. Cold. Television could never compete.

He came to the first large pillowy couch and plopped down, blanket and all. His arms crossed over his stomach and his spine pressed along the back of the couch. All of the muscles in his body relaxed. He slipped further into the darkness, feeling himself sink into undeniable comfort.

He heard the rustle and tap of someone else wandering through the house. He wasn't even considering finding out who, but then they came to the doorway and peered into the room. "Hello?" They called into the blackness. "Is someone in here?"

Iggy turned his head and saw the rough outline of Nansen's messy hair from one shade of shadow to the next. His clothing was so heavily wrinkled that his silhouette appeared rough with sharp unpredictable edges. His red hazy eyes peered into the room, struggling to see, so he leaned forward on one foot. He inhaled a cloud of scented air. "Emi? Iggy?" His hand flipped on the light and everything became illuminated.

Iggy peeled the blanket down off of his shoulders and let the shadows slide off, too. He wasn't running anywhere, after all it was just Nansen. Once enough of his white shoulders and chest became uncovered, Nansen's eyes targeted him and he smiled wide.

"You smell like lilacs," he pointed out. He came over and sat down. His pupils were dilated, causing the gold in his eyes to appear even warmer. His gold eyes were the first things that Iggy had ever seen in this life… "Why are you up so early, little brother?"

Iggy's chest was so tight that he struggled to sigh. As he articulated his answer, he couldn't completely understand what he was doing. He looked down at the floor next to his feet. "I… I wanted to be alone… I guess. To think."

Nansen laughed. "To think? How can anyone think this early? You really should be getting all the sleep that you can now, because once you're older, you might have to get up at ungodly hours because of early risers who go around just thinking." He reached his hand out and nudged Iggy's shoulder.