CHAPTER 44

Madison groaned as she walked home, her body sore all over. Whenever she'd heard about things like 'exercise' and 'working out' before, she'd decided that all that went on the very long list of things she wanted no part of. Now she was thinking of adding it to the list of things she loathed with an absolute passion.

The worst part was, she couldn't really tell if she'd even gotten stronger from that training session. Emily sure seemed to think so but Madison was skeptical. Her force fields didn't feel any different to her. Honestly, they felt weaker given how many times Emily had been able to break through them and hit her, though that could just be from overuse at this point.

Madison groaned again as the shoulder Emily had struck gave a little spasm. She knew this was all for her benefit, to give her a better chance when Swarm appeared, but why did it have to hurt so much. She always knew adrenaline junkies like that were insane and now she had proof. She was just glad that Emily had purposefully avoided her face. Explaining a black eye to her parents was definitely on the 'want-no-part-of' list. Honestly, explaining any of her recent activities to them made the list at this point, as well as just doing any of her recent activities.

At this point, she was just kind of accepting the fact that things wouldn't be going back to normal. She was stuck with these powers so she would just have to live with them to the best of her ability, no matter how much she hated it.

She did admit, she was warming up to parts of it. Avoiding her parents and siblings was so much easier now when she could just turn invisible. And the force fields were actually more handy than she expected. The other day, Todd had tried to play that stupid water bucket on door prank on her, but her powers had instinctively activated when she heard the bucket fall, the force field blocking even a single drop of water from reaching her. Todd had jumped out, ready to laugh, when he saw her standing there, completely dry, and water all over the floor.

Still, whenever she used them, she became more worried. Like the fact that she was becoming used to them would make it harder for them to be removed later. Maybe the more she used them, the more they latched on and if she waited too long, her powers could never be removed.

And yet, there wasn't much she could do. She had no idea how she would even go about removing them in the first place since she had no idea how she'd gotten them at all.

So, she supposed she was just going to have to make the most out of a truly awful situation.

"How does Travis do this?" she wondered out loud. She understood that he had been waiting for this his entire life, given his intense love for superheroes and all that. But, was that the only reason he'd gotten used to his powers so fast? Franklin seemed to share that love and yet had a harder time. It did feel like he was meant for this, like he was destined to have these powers. So why was Madison given them? She was the exact opposite of someone who should have superpowers. She hated conflict, or confrontation in general. The powers should be given to someone who could use them right. Not her. She had no idea what she was supposed to do with them. Travis would though.

She sighed, wondering where he was right now. She kept doing that and didn't know why. She still saw him now and then at school, but only for a few seconds. And yet every time she did see him, it was a jolt in her body and she suddenly found herself excited. But then he was gone again and that feeling faded.

"Maybe I should have done training with him after all," she said, feeling another spike of pain from her shoulder. She knew Travis wouldn't do any of that grueling stuff that Emily put her through.

Emily Simmons. Madison had never thought in a million years she'd ever hold a conversation with someone like her. The head cheerleader, one of the most popular girls in school, and in a whole different level then Madison's school position. And yet, the universe kept throwing one thing after another at her.

It had…not been what she expected. Before today, whenever she thought of cheerleaders, she thought of bubbly girls, probably blonde, all smiles with toned bodies and who seemed to just draw everyone's attention when they walked in a room. Like Barbie from the Toy Story films.

But Emily had been something else entirely. She'd scared Madison with how she had done their training, almost as much as Swarm did. And then they had talked, and Madison had let her guard down. She couldn't remember her doing that with anyone other than Travis, and even that had taken months. But with Emily, it had just come easier. It had felt…nice, to talk.

Is that what it means to have friends? she thought. If that was the case, then no wonder her parents kept urging her to do it.

She wondered if Emily considered them friends now. Probably not. She seemed like she would have countless friends, given her station in the school's hierarchy. Still, Madison would remember that moment they shared. And maybe she'd be able to work up the courage to try again.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she nearly walked by her house, only stopping when she recognized the mailbox. She walked up and unlocked the door, though she did always think about whether or not it would be better for her to sneak in invisibly to avoid any possible unwanted familial interactions.

"Ah, you're home!" her mom beamed as she walked in. "Great timing, dinner's almost ready."

Like that, for instance.

"So, you out with your friends?" her mom asked, still grinning like a…well, Barbie doll.

"That can't be true, Madison doesn't have any friends," Todd said from the table.

"Todd!"

"What? Just stating the obvious."

"That's enough out of you. So, Madison, have a seat. Tell us everything."

"Uh…" Madison blinked, already overwhelmed. She just wanted to go to her room, spent some time on her computer, and decompress for the day. Was that so much to ask? But, knowing her mom, she simply sighed, put her stuff down, and took a seat at the table.

"I wasn't out with my friends. I-"

"Knew it!"

"Todd!"

"What?"

"Can I bring my friends over?" Lisa called out.

"Not right now sweetie."

"Why did I ever want kids?" her dad murmured softly.

Madison felt herself sinking lower into her seat. This was exactly the type of thing she wanted to avoid. Right now, she had to purposefully make sure she didn't turn invisible even when every instinct in her body was screaming at her to disappear.

"So, Madison, please continue," her mom said after restoring a semblance of calm to the table, though now it looked like everyone but her was sulking.

"Um…there wasn't much. I did hang out with someone, but I don't know if I'd call them a friend. She's nice, but…she's a cheerleader and I'm…"

"A loser?"

"Todd!"

"What?"

"I want to be a cheerleader!" Lisa cried out.

"That's nice, sweetie but you're still too young for that. You'll have to wait until you're in high school. Or middle school. Madison, when does cheerleading tryouts start?"

"How would I know that? I'm not a cheerleader."

"Well then ask your cheerleader friend next time you see her."

"She's not my…never mind."

"I want to be a cheerleader right now!" Lisa pouted.

"Why not be a ballerina?" Madison suggested. "That's like a cheerleader, sort of. I think."

Lisa's face lit up. "Yeah! I want to be a ballerina! Then I can be a cheerleader too!"

"We'll talk about it," her mom assured her. "Though you would look adorable in a ballerina outfit, don't you think dear?"

"Can I please just eat my pork in peace?"

Her mom chose to ignore the comment, turning back to Madison. "Well, I'm glad you're opening up to making new friends."

Madison wanted to protest that Emily wasn't a friend but she just started drinking her water, knowing it was pointless anyway.

"And you should invite your boyfriend over some time too. I'd love to meet him."

"GAH!" Madison's water practically exploded out of her mouth as she gasped in surprise. Lisa and Todd roared in laughter as she tried to catch her breath while her mom cleaned up the mess and her dad just sighed and kept eating. "Wh-what?" she managed after a minute.

"You know, that Travis your father was talking about. The one who was so worried about you that he came to visit and you and even gave you a present."

Madison could feel her face turning at least seven different shades of red. "H-he's not my boyfriend," she spluttered, trying to collect herself and failing miserably. "He's just a friend."

"Oh, I don't think any old friend…" her mom started.

"And besides that," Madison quickly interrupted, "I haven't seen him in a while. He's been busy with…well, I'm not sure what. So…"

"Oh, well that's too bad. Still, he seems like a nice boy. And I think he'd be good for you."

Madison shrank further into her seat, desperately trying not to turn invisible. Why was it that almost every family dinner wound up with her feeling mortified like this? She would honestly prefer if she just ate in her room and never had another meal like this again.

The feeling hit her so suddenly that she almost gasped. Because she might very well not have another meal like this again. This might be it. She looked up at her family, her brother Todd arguing with her mom, her sister yelling about something, her dad just trying to eat in peace. She hated moments like these, where she had no peace and quiet. And yet…

She got up so suddenly it took everyone by surprise. "Madison?" her mom asked.

"S-sorry, I just…" Madison started, but she couldn't even finish the sentence. She just turned around and ran out of the room.

"Madison?" her mom called. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you! Please come back."

But Madison barely heard her. She dashed up the stairs to her room and shut the door firmly behind her. She slumped onto the floor, tears welling in her eyes. Why was she feeling like this? Her family had always annoyed her to no end and yet the thought of never seeing them again made her feel like her heart was going to burst. Even Todd, who constantly played pranks on her, or her mom who never let up about her social life or lack of one.

"I don't want to die," she mumbled into her arms. This was why she knew she wasn't right for these powers. Stopping Swarm was something a truly brave person could do. Someone like a police officer or government agent or soldier. Or even Travis. She didn't know why she was putting him on the same pedestal as the others, but when she had seen him charging into the warehouse the first time or when he hadn't even hesitated to help the others at the school, looking completely fearless, it had inspired her. But she wasn't some hero. She was just a shy, geeky girl who liked computer programming and preferred to exist in her own little world. So why was it up to her to stop a mad villain bent on killing people? She wasn't even really going to be given a choice since Swarm would be coming for her and the others. She was praying that somehow Travis could take him down without her help, but she couldn't rely on that. The man stalked her nightmares and she almost always woke up in a cold sweat, thinking about those metallic spears or monsters coming for her.

"I just want this to end," she mumbled, hoping whatever godly being that had given her powers in the first place was listening.

There was a knock on her door, startling her. "Hey Madison." She blinked, surprised that she heard her dad's voice. "Can I come in?"

"Uh…" Madison took a second to wipe her eyes, though she thankfully hadn't cried. She opened the door and stepped aside as her dad entered.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked, taking a seat on her bed.

"I guess," she said, not sure what else to say. What else could she say? There was so much that she wanted to but every time she even thought about doing it, her stomach squirmed itself into knots. She couldn't put this on them, no matter how much she may want to.

"Your mom wanted to come up too but I thought it was best if it was just us two right now," he told her. "She's really sorry for pushing you down there."

"Oh." She hadn't even thought about that but now that she did, that's what everyone must have thought was the reason she ran upstairs. "It's ok."

"You know she just wants the best for you. We both do."

"I know that."

"And while I am not a fan of her…boy-talk," he said with a grimace that made Madison wince too, "I will say that I did like that Travis kid. And I'm glad that you're trying to make new friends now."

"I wouldn't say we're friends. We just had one conversation." And a brutal training session that was almost certainly going to feature into tonight's nightmares.

"But it's a start. I know it's not easy for you so I am proud of you for taking that step."

"Thanks," she said slowly. She'd never really been praised by her dad, or her mom, before so she wasn't quite sure how to respond. She opted for taking a seat next to him on the bed.

"I know it's not the best that you don't really have someone else to relate in the family. I mean, I still have no idea how my computer works and your mom knows less than me. But you…well I don't think you need me to tell you how good you are with them."

"No, I guess I don't."

"But just because we may not understand, doesn't mean we're not proud of you." He looked at her directly as he said this. "I could never do what you've done. And I know you'll go far."

"Um…" Madison blinked, not prepared for any of this. Her dad had never talked to her like this before. She hadn't even realized he was capable.

"I just don't want you to hold yourself back. That's why your mom pushes you. Because as good as you are with your programming, you don't do well under pressure."

"Sorry," she murmured.

"It's nothing to apologize for, a lot of people have that problem. But we know you can do great things as long as you just try to do them. It takes a lot of courage to get up and show the world what you can do but I promise you, it'll be so worth it."

Madison frowned. "How…how do you know though?" As far as she knew, he was a columnist for the local paper. It wasn't a job many people aspired to have. But then he surprised her again.

"The saxophone," he told her. "I love playing the saxophone. And if the money they give me down at the local clubs is any indication, people seem to love it too."

"I…I didn't know that."

He shrugged. "You never asked. I knew going in I wouldn't make a real living off of it. I wasn't that good. But as just a small gig in my spare time? That could work. And getting up there on the stage and just…playing. There's nothing more freeing. I think you know what I'm talking about."

Madison nodded. When she did her programming, getting lost in unlocking how it all worked, she felt more alive than any other moment.

"What I'm trying to say here is that if I hadn't taken the leap and auditioned to play the saxophone, I never would be able to play on those stages today. And my life would be worse for it. I met your mom at one of my shows, so you never really know what might happen in life if you don't go for it. I know you don't like being pushed into stuff, but trust me, amazing things might happen if you just take a leap."

"But…" Madison paused, collecting herself. When it came to computer programming and stuff like that, sure she was great. But with her powers. With just talking to people even. With anything outside of programming, she sucked. It wasn't the same. Her dad obviously loved playing the saxophone and was good at it, so he hadn't been risking much in taking that leap. But her? There was only one thing she was good at. Everything else was something she couldn't handle.

"The funniest thing was that the first time I played on stage, it was a total accident. I'd only been practicing it for two weeks at that point."

Madison blinked. "What?"

"Yeah. I was still new to it and I wanted to come to the club that night to watch and learn from real players. And, for some reason, I brought my sax with me. The next thing I knew, I was hustled backstage by the band, handed a music sheet, and told to get ready. Apparently they thought I was the last minute replacement for their saxophone guy. And before I could even try to explain it, we were onstage, ready to play." Her dad chuckled, lost in the memory. "There was nothing I could do. I was trapped, scared out of my mind. I was more worried at how my performance would affect them honestly. But then, the lights dimmed down, the audience went quiet, and I just started playing."

He sighed softly. "Before, I'd always struggled with what to do with the sax. How to hold it, which keys were which, if it was making the right noises. But for some reason, right then, I just knew. And I went with it." He smiled fondly. "That night was magical. I played my freaking heart out and it worked. I wouldn't say I was fantastic but I got the job done. Then we went backstage and I explained the whole situation. At first they were shocked but then we all started laughing. And the rest, well, is history. I may not have been the right person, but I'll always be grateful that I took that chance."

Madison stared up at her dad in awe. She'd never seen this side of him before. It was nice to see him so animated and passionate about something. The only emotions she'd associated with him before were annoyance or ambivalence.

"But dad," she said, "it's not really the-"

"I know, I know, it's not the same thing. But I don't think that matters. Look, I know something's bothering you and it's not just your mom's pushing or even if that kid Travis has stopped seeing you, which is a huge mistake on his part."

"Dad!" she complained, flushing.

"Sorry. But look, whatever's going on with you, I have the utmost confidence that you can do it. You just have to be brave enough to go for it. And Madison, I know you're scared about a lot of things. But you still face them every day, even when you don't want to. That takes real courage. So don't for a second think you don't have what it takes. Ok?"

Madison stared up at him, shocked, before she took a deep breath and nodded. "Ok."

"Great. I'm going to leave you to it now."

Madison watched as he left the room before looking down at her hand. With barely any concentration, she made a small force field in it before turning her whole arm invisible. It was easy for her now, as much as she didn't want it to be. But that didn't mean she was the right person for it. She was just…

I may not have been the right person, but I'll always be grateful that I took that chance.

But…they weren't the same. Playing the saxophone and using superpowers were completely different things. So why was that saying ringing through her ears?

Because she wanted it to be true. She sighed, drawing her knees up to her chin. She didn't know why, but she wanted to be the right person to use these powers. She was still scared about what they meant for her and her future. Swarm was coming and she was still terrified. But…she had been scared her whole life. And she hated feeling scared. The first time, in a long time, when she hadn't felt like that was when Travis had rushed her into the fight at the school. When she'd gotten a look at Swarm's 'power' and she'd seen it for what it really was. Her. The geeky, scared, introvert had managed to uncover the villain's power, stop his attack, and help take him down.

And it had felt amazing.

These past few weeks, she'd been struggling to figure out what she wanted to do next. How she would deal with what was coming. And the truth was, she was tired of hiding away from it all. Her dad was right. She wanted to take that leap and go for it, to see what she could really do with this power. When she and Emily had been training earlier, even though she was hurting and wanted it to end, she kept going because she did want to be stronger, strong enough that she no longer felt weak and helpless. She was still scared of what might happen, but right now she was more scared of not doing anything with her powers. Because they were hers. And she wanted to use them.

She wanted to be a goddamn superhero.

"Oh god," she mumbled, smiling a little. "Travis corrupted me."