Strange Lizard

I lay on my side on a large bed like a pillow and stare out from a window in front of me. Through it I see a very large tree that extends beyond what I can see through the window. I can see the mountain sized trunk and where the first large branches start to go off into every direction. The branches cross off into millions upon millions of smaller branches until all you can see is a sea of leaves that hides the sky. Yet somehow it doesn't create a shadow over hilly land below. I can't tell if the sunlight is somehow reflected through the leaves of the tree or if the leaves themselves are shining.

But a magical sight it is, with the constant slow rain of leaves.

The lower part of the trunk splits off into a forest of freight ship sized roots that slither around into every direction much in the way of the branches above. The roots are so large and so old that a forest has grown on top of and around it. I am starting to understand what the Norse meant when they said that Yggdrasil was big.

At its roots, is a single large building, built into the midst of the forest of roots. It's a pretty building with a V-roof made out of grass and a huge door. I can't tell the details of the building that far away.

I bring my eyes away from the trunk of the tree, closer to where the forest around its roots turns into a city. It's like somebody had drawn a line and said no more buildings beyond this point. From a managing point of view that must be a nightmare since the city around the edge is very dense. Would seem like the new estate near the tree is in great demand. Walkways and buildings are built on top of each other creating another kind of jungle next to the forest. The city is very vertical with buildings built to the sides of the roots and on top of them. Here and there a large tree-like skyscraper is standing, extending up into the branches above like a pillar keeping the sea of leaves from falling down.

What a view. It's a beautiful place I have been born into.

A while goes and my eyes start to cross. I shake my head. Not having basic movements in passive muscle memory is a strange feeling. It's like I have to constantly keep a lecture for the lizard brain for every action I decide on. One part of my mind knows so much yet the other is completely oblivious. The end result is somewhere in the middle. We have the same body so if one doesn't know how to do something, it affects us both. At the very least the lizard mind is a good listener.

I wonder what the lizard mind really is? It is a part of me or you could say me and it makes up a whole. As I have been reincarnated by the storyteller, I guess it could be the physical mind of the infant. Why it would decide that such a thing is necessary is beyond me but I don't really mind it. After all, it's great food for thought. What is a mind made of? David Hume once said that the mind is a bundle of perspectives. It certainly is true for the current me.

I lazily switch sides and turn to look at myself in the mirror.

I am not human anymore, which is exciting! Surprisingly for a new-born, I have the physique of a around four-year old human child. Very skinny, however. Unlike a human child that is born with plenty of fat, this body did not. Well, I guess for a simulated world the need for a child to have energy reserve isn't necessary if evolution didn't happen before society did. Or perhaps evolution is just a lot faster here. Wait, I'm making the presumption that this world doesn't have a long history. Whatever. Empty guesses, these are.

I seem to be a girl this time. Having already once lived a boy's childhood, this is a good opportunity to receive a new perspective. Having the opposite gender body doesn't feel alien to me who didn't have a constant physical gender for quite some time in the old world. Technology had come to the point where the way you physically looked was a choice. I had an example to show so I quite quickly got rid of the social construct of gender. Every person has within them the feminine and the masculine. I enjoy the aesthetics of both and used to switch between them depending on which approach suited a situation better. Fair to say, I don't care what I have between my legs. It's more about what I do with it. Still, I did find myself more often than not in the role of the man because of my more masculine overall personality.

Personality. I guess that's what it comes down to.

But the cool new thing is the, well, I guess the tail is pretty cool too, I think while scratching my back with this new limb. Strangely enough, I learned to use the tail first out of all my limbs. Having a new limb felt so exciting I started trying it out first. It seems it is easier for the lizard brain to learn with me than to learn from me.

But the really, really cool organ is that black oval gem on my forehead! I close my eyes and focus on sensing with it. I can sense information about everything around me. It's like the canvas from before but the "nothing" and the "something" have switched places. Using this sense, I can sense things that are outside "me". Everything that is not a part of me, the gem gives me information about. And there is a bit too much information for me to handle but what I can understand is the general geometry of the space around me. I can tell where each piece of furniture is in this room and I can sense a little through the walls, ceiling, and floor. So for now it's mostly just anything I can look at, I can also see through the gem. No x-ray vision yet but it may be buried in the information. I can also tell if there are thinking beings around.

Of which there are none in this room right now. Who I guess were my parents, left some time ago after holding me in their arms for quite some time. I think I heard a lot of arguing back then, but I'm not sure. All I really heard was a bunch of rhythmic loud noises. The lizard's side of the brain was really confused back then and I couldn't make much sense of my senses.

What makes me think they were arguing, was how strongly I felt the anger of who I believe is my mother. She was holding me and I think she may have been running around considering how much I felt myself shaking. Made me wonder what the hell was going on. I believe my father was there too. I sensed a lot of emotions from a lot of people back then but there were only two who felt love towards me. That's ma and pa I suppose.

No idea where they are now though. I don't think my parents left by choice. I think they were forced to leave. It explains the anger and all that running around. Did my mom try to run from the authorities with her baby? That's funny, I like that idea.

I turn to the left of the mirror wall. There are pictures on the wall of some important looking fellows. They had some good features though. Very beautiful. However they look so pompous I almost spit from spite. Haah, I really shouldn't judge the people of this world yet.

Old habits die slow though. From my experience, where there is unnecessary wealth, there is ignorance. And boy do I hate ignorance.

Been here for… I think a day already? But I am not very sure, since I fall asleep like every twenty minutes. At some point it was darker outside the window and now it's bright again. Haven't seen anybody except one very scared nurse who brought me food. Didn't feed me, a new-born child, but brought a tray with food then looked at me laying on my stomach, swinging my tail with my hands crossed under my head. I smiled at her and then she just pointed some strange looking gun at me for long enough for me to get worried and then just left. Don't know what I did wrong but I blame the lizard brain. At least the food wasn't solid, so I didn't have to worry about choking to death. There was the danger of drowning though.

But the lizard brain pulled through. Nice eating, "me".

That was a cool looking lady though. She had mostly human features but I think she was part sheep. She had those square eyes and a lot of hair. Like unnecessarily much hair. I don't think she could move if her hair got wet. It would weigh too much. She had braided it really prettily though, so it didn't cover her lovely face. The black hair and her pale skin gave a very pretty contrast.

Hmm, definitely a fantasy world, this place. Everything is so beautiful. I say that but I have only seen myself and the nurse clearly. Talking about how I look, I don't think I look bad. Kids this age are either cute or weird looking. Luckily I am the former. Nice looking short curly white hair. Very pale skin though, almost too pale. I look like an albino Polynesian. My otherwise very pale appearance makes the black gem on my head look a little menacing though. The tail's skin is more leathery than the rest of me but it too shares the paleness.

Sigh… Would like to see that nurse again. I am hungry.

The room I am in shakes again and I can hear distant rumbles but I ignore it. It has been happening at a constant rate now but I can't tell where it's coming from. Even my cool new sense doesn't help with that. I have a few theories but I try not to think about it too hard. This is a fantasy world. It could be anything. Unnecessary expectations only set up disappointment.

I turn on to my stomach to look down from this pedestal my cushion is on. Quite the way down. Must be equivalent to a two meter fall for a child of my size. I don't think my horrible motor functions could handle the fall. I would definitely break something.

After some quick, shaky pushups, I turn on my back to think about a way to get to the floor.

It has to be magic then! That jingle that healed my wounds. The weird thing with the spheres. That must have been a magical activity of some sort! The very idea of magic wakes up the many childhood fantasies I've had of such a thing. Thrilling! I must figure out how it works!

I turn my attention inwards to view the cube I had designed. The experience of creating it is still fresh in my mind. I have returned here at least once every time I wake up from my naps. I can't stay here for long, only for what feels like maybe a few minutes. I can tell that time flows differently over there but can't really tell how differently. I have no way to measure it. So in real-time it could be just a few seconds, I don't know. That seems kinda like cheating. Just opening a stop menu to slow time. Sadly, except for things relevant to the canvas, I can't think about anything without losing focus getting pulled out from the canvas space.

I explore the patterns again, looking for something that I can use in the physical world. Similarities between the concepts I came up with and the concepts of this world. I get stopped by the same issue as every time I come here.

I just don't know anything about this world.

The only facts that are relevant to the concepts in the cube are that the reality I exist in is at least four-dimensional. That's about it. All these patterns of multiple dimensions in the canvas, and the dimensions between the dimensions are completely irrelevant information for my current experienced reality. So frustrating!

This time I decided to answer my frustration and actually force the lizard brain to stop making me lose my focus and force it to help me make sense of the outside world. I let my mind leave the canvas space and I imagine myself in a vast white empty space. I see a library and a single book. Then I imagine a mirror in that space. I gather all the thoughts in my mind that I identify as parts of the lizard mind and create a representation of it within the mirror. A green lizard with human-like proportions.

That is you. Not physically, it's a representation of you, lizard brain. What am I? The observer, "me".

Now I just have to somehow make you come through the mirror or go through it myself somehow. Then we both exist in the same space as separate entities. Well, not the weirdest idea I've had.

I imagine myself putting my hand through the mirror but the lizard copies my movement and our hands meet in the middle and cancel each other's movement. Okay. There is no way for me to get there. In three-dimensional space, that is. I need to somehow twist this around. However, just with the canvas, I'll have to switch point of view.

I try to imagine this space, or even just the small area with me and the mirror as a multidimensional canvas, just like my masterpiece. It's difficult. Since in higher dimensions there are many ways to get the same geometry as what I am seeing, it's difficult to find the one that truly describes what I see.

The canvas works, since it's not actual geometry, it's just a representation and appliance of a concept.

Wait.

Hold the phone.

What is a mirror? Physically it's basically just a surface that strongly reflects light. But this mirror isn't a physical mirror. It is only a representation of a mirror in my imagination. There is nothing I don't know about this mirror. I can break it apart into just concepts.

Reflective. Something that things deflect from.

Surface. A geometric surface of a plane.

That is all that I need to represent a mirror. No need for a fancy mirror. Just a simple surface that shows what is in front of it.

I need to try this method in the physical world.

I apply this new knowledge to the mirror with the lizard. The lizard behind it doesn't change. It doesn't need to since I only need it to come to me or me to it. Now, I need to make a path to it without losing sight of the lizard. Since if I did, it would no longer exist in the observer's reality. It's only a reflection of "me". The second that reflection disappears, so does the representation. But since the lizard reflection isn't actually real and doesn't exist in any space, I'll have to make myself believe that what I am looking at is not a mirror but a window. The lizard me exists on the other side of the mirror and simply mimics my movement to a T. Another thing I'll have to do is simplify the canvas. The canvas is a two-dimensional surface that represents a multidimensional space. I, however, have no idea what that would look like in three-dimensional space.

Luckily, changes in higher physical dimensions are hard to see in lower physical dimensions. I don't need to imagine all of the possible dimensions. I just need to look for a solution in four-dimensions.

In physical reality, the fourth dimension would be time. Or more accurately, movement through the fourth dimension creates the illusion of time. Time is a fancy four-dimensional illusion. In reality, once one can perceive it, it's just another dimensional space you can perceive in, like looking down or up. But since I can't understand how it would be perceived, I'll use the canvas.

I imagine me, the lizard, and the mirror between us to exist in a box. I imagine that space flattening to a map. I imagine a map in my hand which shows the insides of the box from a top down point of view. This map will be the canvas. This map is the representation of the space within the box but just in one less dimension, two-dimensions. In the white map there is a green point that is me, a red point that is the lizard, and a black line between us that is the mirror. Then I imagine cutting three corners of a rectangular around my green point so that the side pointing towards the window is left uncut. I do the same for the red point of the lizard except that instead of leaving the window side uncut, I leave the side on lizards left uncut. Then I take two dangling pieces of the map and imagine them fuse into a loop, dangling off the map.

Now I just need to believe that this map is a representation of the space within the box. I can't imagine the fourth dimension, so I just reduced one dimension to make a map and then used the one extra dimension I can perceive to represent the fourth dimension.

All I need to do is walk backwards and according to the map, I would see myself appear on the lizards left.

Alright. I turn to look at the lizard and see that it also has the same cut map as me.

Believe, lizard. And walk.

I slowly start to walk backwards and see the lizard doing the same. I wonder what my own reflection would look like. At this point, this is no longer just my imagination. How my ideas will apply to this place are up to my subconscious and the storyteller. I only hope what I see walking in front of that mirror isn't something I don't like. Don't fear. I have nothing to fear here unless I let my subconscious create something that I fear.

The walking continues until my heart jumps to my throat. I see my own flank appear in the mirror in my peripheral vision.

HOLY SHIT, that actually worked! Calm, keep the focus. The worst part is still coming. My heart pounding, I continued walking backwards very slowly at first. But before I can take a step I realize that, shit, I'm going to walk in my own way. I won't be able to see the lizard anymore.

Damn it, this concept is too much of a mind fuck, I completely forgot to consider that. I blame this on you, lizard brain! But then again, while I can't see you, you can see me. "I" think I should have made the cuts the other way around. Prove me otherwise, lizard brain.

I observe the lizard in the mirror, or should I say beyond the window. It's far enough that I can't tell if it's looking at the person beyond the window or just at this me now on the same side of the window. After all, from its point of view it can see both.

Then the surface of the mirror shatters and I can hear something hit the ground. I keep staring at the broken mirror, not daring to turn my head. I am slightly alarmed, that something other than me has just appeared in my own imagination. On the other hand, I find this incredibly thrilling.

I calm myself and confidently turn to where the lizard should be standing. I see the lizard, collapsed on the floor.

The lizard then starts to flail on the ground lazily like a drunkard. What are you doing?

Oh, right! I forgot.

We make up the same whole but on our own, we are very different kinds of beings. I am not the only master of this imagination. As much as I am, so are they, the original mind of this infant I inhabit. "Lizard brain" is just a name I have for it. I think it strange but which of us really is unnatural?

I watch the lizard crawl into a fetal position, its body slowly shrinking in size, green leathery skin turning pale and soft, and fearful black eyes turning towards me. I look at the map. The two points have changed position. The green point now is where the red one originally was and the red one is at the top of the map, as far from the mirror as you can get. How didn't I notice it? How did I fail to consider it?

Or perhaps now that we are separate, I can finally tell.

To you, I'm the strange green lizard.