Starting from the gutters #1

My name is Takemori Kimi (name to change?). I was 20 years old when I suddenly got hit by a certain truck and guess what? I got transported into another world, surprising isn't it? Well maybe not but let's just act like it was the case. Anyways, I used to (blank), worked at (blank) and lived at (blank) because apparently no one ever decided to give a proper backstory to their "isekai" main characters and went straight for the story which just ends up being worth no more than the shit of an anime character. In other words, it doesn't even exist.

Hugh humph, clearing my throat real quick. As I was saying, I got transported into a world of medieval and fantastic nature from first appearance. The people in the town I teleported to all seemed strange yet oddly familiar. I couldn't wrap my mind around why they looked so familiar when a loud sound ran its way through my ears.

"Then don't think about it! ((((add later)this was on purpose)I'm dead serious)I was just trying to be funny but it didn't work, it actually never works)" The mighty, attractive and definitely not prepubescent voice in the sky mused.

I complied to his order as I walked across the town. However, the more time I spent walking, the more I realized about something mildly crucial to this story. I actually couldn't walk, in fact, I couldn't move my entire body because there wasn't one to begin with. I was a lifeless piece of garbage who somehow happened to have a soul in it. My soul was crying for help yet no one came to my rescue , obviously because life is sad and that's how it goes. Fortunately for me, this isn't real life so I end up being able to move with this "trash" body pretty freely. Still, I couldn't believe they fell so low as to make the main character a piece of garbage to "make the story feel special" like man just create a decent story, that's all.

I rolled across the town for a bit to finally end up inside of what appeared to be a guild hall, considering the over-the-top banners hanging in the front that seem attractive at first but then make you realize how goofy it actually is. It felt as if something was following me but I continued my search, assuming it was only my ultra inst...incto going wild. I forgot about the fact that they never explained why I could see where I'm going when I am literally a walking piece of scrap. Back to the story, I wandered around the guild, searching for mages and wizards, since this is the place where the strong people go to. I would assume there'd be at least one person that possesses the ability to lift whatever curse I had (shit "isekai" syndrome).

I then arrived next to the quest giver. It was a blond haired lady who had a rather beautiful, delightful, scrumptious, or may I even say mouthwatering... way of interacting with the guild members. Also, she had huge "badonkers" like holy shit dude.

She was talking to some strange fellows about quests and frogs. It came off as bizarre to me but what made it worse was that they all looked familiar to me. Not just oddly familiar, they straight up looked like they're from (blank) the way their clothes matched the different colored buttons of your average controller. Hell, one of these bizarre fellows screamed "STEAL" and then, for some reason, a pair of panties appeared in his hand. Almost everybody, well mostly the guys, cheered him on. I wish I could've cheered too but I cannot in my condition. There was almost no way they did not come from that specific isekai show. I would've asked them to make sure of it but I restrained myself as to not oppose the mighty voice... and the copyright law.

I stood in the corner of the place as I watched the strange individuals leave. I could've at the very least tried to ask them for help but I knew damn well they were not to be trusted with anything, not that I was any better, well I maybe was but the I swear plot made it so that I wasn't.

Continuing my research, I found out that the people in there were either too incompetent, too shady or just unable to hear my thoughts and voice, which I highly doubt. What a bunch of buffoons, not fulfilling their role of side characters helping the main character unconditionally for absolutely no reason but instead decide to worry about themselves. I was thinking about asking the quest giver for help, which I don't mind for obvious reasons, but I had the lingering feeling that I will not get a response out of this. Defeated, I left the guild hall, realizing it was already nighttime. Out of pure rage and disappointment, I spat out the forbidden sentence:

"WHY IN THE HELL AM I IN THIS LIMP DICK OF A WORLD! I COULD STRAIGHT UP MAKE A SHOW ABOUT ME BEING A MONKEY EATING HIS OWN FECES AND I'D BE HAPPIER THAN THIS!!!"

The mighty yet ironic voice retaliated saying this: "Oh shut your damn mouth, you doofus! You really sound like you're on your period right now. Even worse, this isn't even the end of the first chapter. You're not gonna keep up at this pace if you don't accept your role in this story. Look man, making a decent story with isekai as its genre is pretty fucking hard so I had to give your story a little twist to make it special. It's nothing personal."

"Okay but the novel's never gonna survive if we keep using the same damn jokes every 2 lines and if the story never progresses even after 800 words in! We're not making Two Piece right now!"

"I know that, boy. That's why I thought we should introduce a new and important character by now but your sorry ass decided to go off script making everything awkward now. I'll ask you to shut up and go back to your position as main character so we can finally introduce the character. Also, Two Piece is peak fiction so don't you dare disrespect it!"

(please act like nothing happened)

...Defeated, I left the guild hall, realizing that it was already nighttime. I couldn't feel my inexistent body yet I could very well feel the pain and despair from my situation. It's as if I was a depressed person that took pain killers yet still was left with "EMOTIONAL DAMAGE". I really (not really) thought I was goner. That was before I encountered a "holy spirit" in the back alley of the guild hall.

It probably had been following for a while but it was only as I went through the back alley that I decided to check. I observed my surroundings looking for the being in question but it was in vain. In fact, that entity came to me instead. It came forth like the heroine anime girl of a romance story, the way the entire setting changed from dark, silent and forsaken to mildly dark, silent and forsaken. Its appearance didn't do much except to set the tone for a cliffhanger soon. This existence was underwhelmingly shiny yet bright enough to make me unable to see how it looked like. However, I more or less had the ability to distinguish the entity's aura. It was more of a sneaking suspicion but might as well call it borderline telepathy. Its aura was pissing me off for a reason. I could tell for a fact that it was looking at me with pity and disgust. That asshole, I wish I had the power to, at the bare minimum, hit this fucker up in the face if it ever had one. I always hated being unlucky and would rant about my misfortune but there was something I hated more than that. It was being pitied or disregarded for it. I know I'm complaining about my problems but I don't want people looking down on me like garbage, which is ironic because I am literal junk. The only difference between now and then was that I ended up doing something.

Miraculously, my thoughts were heard and something occurred. A drunk man came by and, for some reason, sucker punched the living life out of this being. This being in question fell straight on the ground as the drunk man left the pathway. I couldn't believe my non-existent eyes. What were the odds of a drunk man appearing out of nowhere, man-handling the situation with a single punch and leaving without elaborating. I was too baffled by what just happened that I almost paid no mind to the loser on the ground. Even after 5 minutes, my only thoughts were about how that being got knocked the hell out of by that punch. It was only after 25 more minutes that I decided to check on it.

Looking at the spirit, I realized that it had lost all the brightness around its body. As dark as night was, I couldn't tell what it looked like. It did have a humanoid figure, that I was sure of. Upon thoroughly investigating the dead body, might as well be considering the humiliation it received, I came to the conclusion that the spirit was actually a girl. A few seconds after my realization, the girl arose and somehow gained back her shininess, sending my trash body in the air on the way due to some sort of pressure. As I was flying, the girl screamed out loud:

"Takemori Kimi (name to change?), you are quite the suspicious being, traveling to this world from another one. I for one cannot allow an omniscient person like you alive here any longer. PREPARE YOURSELF!"

Not even a mere second wasted and the woman summoned a magic spear that quickly flew its way to me. The event that just occurred was so fast that I only could realize it when it was too late. It was then that-

I'd tell you what happens next but, gotta keep it with a cliffhanger am I right? Though it's more of a 1 stage building hanger than a cliffhanger but whatever.