Worldview differences

Steve drove aggressively, but everyone could see the car responding obediently to his every touch, turning exactly the moment the driver told him to do it and making it extremely smooth. Martin felt a blush as he remembered how this combination of firmness and gentleness had affected him. Today Steve drove the car exactly as he drove his body that night.

There was something disturbingly pleasant about this thought. In his mind, the similarities in Steve's demeanor were so clear that he felt hot. It was the first time he had been with a man in such a situation, and although his mind still struggled to accept the events, his body and something deep in his heart reacted very strangely to the memory. Martin was enslaved then, completely in the hands of another man, guided through a world of bliss like this car is now being driven, and with equal virtuosity to reach the pinnacle of pleasure.

Martin closed his eyes.

"Shit," he thought. "Goddamn it. "

The mere memory was enough for him to glow with a blush. Fearing that Allen will notice his embarrassment, Martin discreetly retired to the stall.

Steve got out of the car to the applause of the mechanics. They shook his hands and congratulated him on the results. He accepted these small gestures with his usual calm bordering on ignoring his surroundings.

"This new mix is ​​so much better," Steve praised with a soft smile. "Well done everybody."

Then he acted as always, that is, he picked up a bottle of water and drank. Mute he past everyone. As he passed by Martin, the young mechanic's heart was pounding. Steve smelled less of cologne and tobacco now, more gasoline and sweat, but the smell made Martin tremble anyway. He didn't know how to act, it was their first meeting since the night that Martin left the hotel without waiting for the morning. Should he speak up and congratulate him on how the others did? Or maybe just say good morning?

Steve walked by, completely ignoring him.

It took Martin a good few seconds to realize that the man who had driven him to the point of madness two days ago acted as if they didn't know each other at all.

His heart was beating slower and slower, and at one point Martin thought it was just going to stop.

'I'm nothing to him', he realized bitterly. 'He seduced me, made me let him fuck me, and now he doesn't even pay attention to me. I was just another one night adventure for him.'

Martin felt frustration and anger building up inside him. His pride as a man was hurt at that moment. Maybe he let this guy strip himself of his dignity and treat him like a woman, but it was only for one night. This is it. If Steve wants to behave this way, go ahead, it is basically Paxton's problem, not his. Maybe Steve is handsome and drives really great, but Jack was right that he was just an asshole.

But maybe he was too drunk at the time and doesn't remember anything?

No, a drunk man would not be able to organize such a marathon. Anyway, he must have known with what company he had left the party. Even if he didn't remember making love to him, he should at least know that they drank together at the club. Treating him like air was just mean, rude and pissing.

"Hey, dreamer, the job won't do itself."

"Right, sorry." Martin escaped from Allen's gaze. After all, even the chief mechanic knew he was drinking with Steve. What would he think about the way Paxton treated him?

"Are you okay? You don't look well."

"Yes, I'm alright. I felt a bit sick, but I feel better."

"Then help me with this ..."

Martin couldn't shake the fury at Steve's behavior. Yesterday, lying in bed and trying not to think about him, he wondered what their meeting would be like today. His fantasies ranged from the usual "how it goes" and the normal friendly smile to the passionate and hot "I missed you", but never, never had Martin thought he would be so completely ignored.

Martin himself slept with a few girls and had adventures for one night as well, but when he met his ex-lover afterwards, he was always nice to her. It was just rude to treat someone he had a good time with like an ear. Only a coward or a real asshole can do that. Apparently Steve belonged to one of these groups. Or both.

After all, Steve was a big star who changed women partners - and, as it turned out, also male partners - like gloves.

Martin felt really bad about this situation. He let himself be treated objectively, used by another man, and even enjoy it. It was humiliating beyond bearable. As if that were not enough, Martin believed Steve's assurances that he was special to him.

Wait a minute, but Steve had never said anything like that, Martin suddenly realized. He said Martin was sexy and cute, but not that he was special to him. Boy got the rest of it for himself. He realized what a fool he was. An idiot.

"Hey, don't ignore people who talk to you," someone nudged his shoulder.

"Jack? Sorry. I was thinking."

"It shows. You didn't even come to greet me when I got to the booth."

Martin felt very, very silly about it.

"Jack, I'm really sorry. Allen said you have four more laps," he began to explain desperately, "because you later hit the track, so I took care of this ..."

"Don't worry," Jack laughed. "You're always one of the first to come, so when you didn't show up, I was concerned that something had happened to you. Just that."

Just that? For Martin, it wasn't 'just'. After Martin's icy shower, Jack's behavior was like hot springs.

Suddenly the day was much nicer.

"I'm hungry," Jack announced suddenly. "Will you keep me company in the cafeteria?"

"I?" The offer was not entirely unusual because Jack was known to enjoy company at meals, but the two of them never dined together.

"You look like someone who needs a break," he replied with a warm smile, quite different from Steve's.

'It shows so much in me,' Martin became concerned.

"Er, it's not lunch time yet, and I have some work ..."

"Do not be like this. I hate eating alone. Abe!" Jack Lambert called to the chief mechanic "Will you let the kid go for half an hour?"

Allen took a break from work and looked at them.

"But only half and no beer during working hours! Is it clear?"

"Yes, yes ... Come on. I really don't like eating alone."

"If so …"

Martin was definitely not hungry, but he didn't refuse his coffee. Jack, on the other hand, did not feel sorry for his food and took it with much appetite. Martin knew that drivers lose a lot of calories in racing. Apparently it was the same during training.

"I heard you went out with Steve and his group after the party," Jack said biting into a tuna sandwich.

Martin felt himself flush. Apparently, the news traveled faster here than it took the champion to complete one lap.

"Yes," he admitted, praying Jack wouldn't hear his heart pounding fast. "So what?"

"You should be careful with whom you associate with."

"And you're telling me Steve and Karl are bad news," he smirked, trying to make up for the uncertainty he felt. "I know you don't like Steve, but Karl ..."

"Karl's fine, except he got himself wrapped around his fiancee's finger." I don't know if they'll make a good pair, but it's not your concern or mine, but Steve ..."

Jack paused as he searched for the right words. Martin waited anxiously for what he would say next.

"As for Steve, it's not that I don't like him. We are divided by certain worldview differences that make it difficult for us to communicate. Because you see, I'm gay."

At that moment Martin's jaw dropped to the ground. He absolutely did not expect such a confession.

"You look funny now," laughed Jack. However, he quickly became serious. "You're not a homophobe, are you?" He asked suspiciously.

"Er ..." in the light of the events of that night, it would be difficult for Martin to think of himself as a homophobe. "No, you just surprised me. I saw you leave with this young girl after the party."

"Only as her escort. I have never been attracted to women. I'm 100% gay."

"But I heard your conflict with Steve was about a girl."

"Gossip. Our conflict is that I am gay."

At this point, Martin felt completely lost.

"I do not understand. These are these worldview differences?" He asked uncertainly. "I didn't think Paxton was intolerant of these things."

'At least not after what he did with me,' he added in his mind.

"Actually, it all depends on who with whom and why. Steve didn't want to go out with me."

"And that's why you don't like each other so much?"

"Rather because there were very unpleasant words spoken by both sides then," Jack suddenly became serious. "It wasn't until later that I found out why he was so rough. I tried to apologize, but he won't let me. He may not hate gays, but he doesn't feel comfortable around them. Who would have thought?"

This information completely clashed with Martin's experience in this matter. There was something wrong here. Unless it was only about Jack.

Martin looked at Jack, a handsome blonde with bright eyes and a warm smile. Now he was a bit pensive, as if he was remembering something not entirely nice. A certain suspicion crept into Martin's mind.

"Don't say you still love him." The very thought that Jack might still have romantic feelings for Steve made Martin's heart pound.

"Nooooo ... I never loved him. It was all about sex itself. And here was the outlook conflict. Because notice, if Steve thinks sex without emotional attachment commonly known as love is off-putting, why does Steve not have a steady partner, but content himself with random adventures? Doesn't that make him a hypocrite?"

It was indeed a strong argument, the more powerful that he touched Martin where it hurt the most: "he is content with random adventures."