Unexpected Aftermath

"Although it probably all depends on where you are in your life," Jack added thoughtfully.

"I do not understand."

"Because it doesn't matter," Jack shook his head and smiled warmly again. "For example, I recently lost interest in casual sex. I am in a long-term relationship."

"Congratulations," Martin said, not knowing what to say. The whole conversation turned in such a way that the boy still couldn't get out of his daze.

"Do you have someone permanently?"

"I hope so. We've only started dating recently, but I really care about her."

"That's good. You should be even more careful with Steve. You are quite cute and you could ..."

Suddenly he stopped. Under his penetrating gaze, Martin wanted to collapse into the ground.

"He did it," Jack's voice was so icy that Martin felt a shiver run down his spine. "I'll kill that son of a bitch!" His chair slid back heavily as he stood up.

"No!" Martin felt a sudden rush of desperation and took his hand.

"So are you okay with it?"

"I ... I don't know," he admitted, unable to meet the man's eyes. He was glad to talk to someone about it, but he was terrified of what would happen if it all came out. How will he be able to meet his colleagues' eyes? How will he look at Allen's face?

"Got it," Jack sat down again. "Martin, whatever happened, you shouldn't think badly of yourself. I know the two of us aren't buddies, but I want you to know that you can always talk to me about it. Believe me, I'll never judge you."

"Thank you," he said, his throat tight. "I really do."

"Day or night, at work or after work, if you feel that you want to talk to someone, about anything, call me. This is my cell phone number."

Looking at the table top, Martin saw a napkin with a telephone number written on it. This warm, sympathetic gesture warmed his heart at least a little.

"It'll be okay, kid." Jack stood and ruffled his hair roughly, like a father or older brother, not like a lover. "Let's get back to work, or Allen's going to tear our heads off." Half an hour is exactly thirty minutes with him and not one more. This guy seems to have a built-in watch, because without even looking at the one on the wall, he knows exactly when someone exceeds the set time. You have not yet had the trouble of being put against the wall by him, but you can trust someone who has lived through it more than once. It's really, definitely not pleasant."

Martin took a deep breath and smiled. It was not easy, but not as difficult as it was before the conversation with Jacek. Maybe he misjudged Jack after all, and the guy is really likeable. He was sincerely grateful to him for not asking for details, but offering support.

Martin clutched Jack's phone number in his pocket, glad that he was no longer alone with his problem.

"I'm glad you called me," Ami smiled. They were in the same pizzeria, which they both liked very much, and usually had their meetings there. It had a pleasant climate and was in a convenient location for both of them. And of course they had great food, not only pizza but also a large selection of salads and desserts. "I thought maybe you met a new girl."

Martin smiled mock amusement.

"A girl? Come on?!" Then he sighed "Sorry, we had a headache at work. I'm just an assistant mechanic, but every pair of hands is needed. We are testing a new mix for tires and we are about to resume starts…"

The lie passed smoothly through his mouth, not because he liked to lie, but because his self-preservation instinct was stronger than his conscience. The truth was, Martin was afraid to call Ami. He was afraid the girl would read everything from him, just like Jack did. But while Jack was tolerant of male-to-male relations by his own preferences, Ami might have been less forbearing. They haven't officially been a couple yet, but they won't be a couple if the girl finds out that he has cheated on her - especially with a guy.

Martin was not gay. He knew it very well, because with a trembling heart with uncertainty, he looked at the random handsome man for the first time as a sexual object and felt absolutely nothing but disgust. Then he breathed a sigh of relief. That night with Steve was a special case, a one-time event that changed absolutely nothing about him, except that he had an adventure that he would be able to laugh about in a while.

But it seemed that it was not going to come soon, because every time Martin had to work on Steve's car, when Steve passed by, completely indifferent, in the corridor or in the pit, his heart was torn to shreds. Going to work became torture, but Martin couldn't bring himself to quit, and it wasn't because he needed the money. He knew that if he left, he would never see Steve again, and the thought was too cruel to bear.

There is something seriously wrong with me, he thought as he felt a thrill of excitement just seeing Steve. It got to the point where he learned to catch the remains of his scent in the air - expensive colognes, gasoline and cigarette smoke, because contrary to his plans, Steve did not quit smoking. Martin's subconscious went crazy so much that the very smell of the cigarettes stimulated all his senses.

He called Ami because he couldn't live like this anymore. He desperately wanted to get back to normal, to a healthy relationship between a man and a woman, when he was the dominant side and he penetrated rather than be penetrated.

Ami's smile faded a little. Martin saw the girl glance steadily toward the next table where two teenagers were giggling.

"Why are these girls talking about you?" She asked in a seemingly indifferent tone.

"What? I have no idea. I've never seen any of them in my life."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"So you won't mind if I go up to them and ask them?"

"Not at all."

"All right," Ami stood up and, with a charming smile, approached the giggling teenagers. She talked to them for a while and the girls showed her something on their cell phone. Ami stared at this for a long time and returned to the table. Martin had a very bad feeling for some reason.

As Ami was silent, he decided to ask:

"And? Did you find out what's going on?"

"Apparently you are very similar to a man seen a few days ago in the company of a very famous model advertising underwear."

"Selfie," he realized suddenly.

Ami looked at him completely silent.

"The guys from the stable pulled me out for a drink," he explained as innocently and honestly as he could. "The girls were a little drunk after the VIP party, and somehow it turned out that way. We danced a bit and that's it. I swear absolutely nothing has happened between me and any of those girls. You have to believe me!" He insisted, desperately admiring himself as he smoothly concealed the betrayal committed against Ami.

Ami seemed to be considering his explanation. Finally she smiled gently.

"I decided to believe you. You didn't look like someone having a great time taking this photo."

Martin felt a rush of relief. He breathed out, but his heart was still beating too hard. Maybe he had hidden the truth from Ami, but he didn't feel comfortable with it. But he wouldn't be able to admit to anyone what was going on between him and Steve.

"Because I wasn't having fun," he admitted. This time he was telling the truth. He was too tense at the club to enjoy the party. "They were almost complete strangers with whom I never went out before. Before, I only talked to Paxton and only professionally. I definitely prefer to spend time with you."

"Really?" She looked really pleased. Ami had a lovely warm smile. "You know, you could come over today," she said sweetly, blushing slightly. Compared to the girls he had dated before, especially Heather, Ami was very shy about sex. They were in bed only once and very classic. Totally different than with Steve.

Martin felt his heart beat faster. He had been counting on this invitation, he wanted it badly.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Mhm. You know, I like you very much."

"I like you too. Very much."

They didn't wait any longer. They paid the bill and left.

Martin sat down on the bed as embarrassed as possible. The shame he felt could only be compared to his letting Steve get to fuck him.

"Don't worry, it happens," Ami said, with poorly concealed disappointment in her voice.

It was the biggest cliché she could have cited, which did not make him feel better.

It wasn't that Ami wasn't attractive. She had absolutely nothing to do with it, she was pretty and sweet, and she blushed really lovely when they started kissing. He had been with her before and they both felt a pleasant fulfillment, but today ...

At first, the caresses were even good and the girl was getting hotter and more willing, unfortunately his penis showed no desire to act. The more Martin pleased her, the more neglected he felt. Her body was soft and delicate - too delicate and too soft, and as much as Martin tried hard he couldn't make his body react to her.

"Come into me," she asked, but he couldn't do it. He tried to arouse himself with his own hand, but her presence disturbed him. Then he suddenly saw Steve's face in his mind and panicked. It was a total failure.

"Sorry," he muttered, sitting down.

That's when she said this cliché. It hurt not because it was real, but because something strange and humiliating had happened to his body - not a naked, burning woman that turned him on, but the memory of a man's touch. It was tragic. He couldn't bear this situation. He couldn't bear to be next to her.

"Sorry," he repeated, and dressed quickly.

He was devastated.

He walked out into the city wandering aimlessly in the streets. He felt deafened by what he had just experienced. He had erection problems for the first time in his life, and only recently turned twenty! How could this happen to him? After all, he was a perfectly healthy man who just a few nights earlier ...

Martin sighed, feeling as if a truck had run over him.

Why did this happen to him with Ami? Why with her? After all, she was the perfect girl he was serious about. How will he be able to meet her eyes after such a fiasco? How did this fiasco even come about?

Martin couldn't believe how is this possible? He refused to believe that one night with Steve had turned his life upside down so much. The humiliation that befell Martin in front of Ami was solely Steve Paxton's fault!

Martin sincerely hoped Steve would pay for this!