Our Shared Lilies and Memories pt.2

Kanae knocked on Kuzuha's door to meet up, hoping to probably plan the next ChroNoiR radio and twitch podcast. He hadn't answered for the past 5 minutes. Was he streaming? It was too early for him to be asleep though. He couldn't have gone out, it was raining and he didn't go out often. Kanae checked both his youtube and twitch channel, nope, no new updates. Leaving him with no choice, Kanae took out the spare key that Kuzuha handed him while he was drunk. Who was drunk, he couldn't remember. Entering the apartment, Kanae stood for a moment at the doorway, seeing Kuzuha sitting on the couch with his face buried in his hands. Small sniffles could be heard despite the light rain pattering at the window.

Rushing to his side, Kanae thinks that this is the first time he's seen Kuzuha cry. But the way Kuzuha tucks his face into the crook of Kanae's neck, just feels so deja-vu that he couldn't help but tear up too. The unshed tears cast a slight gloss over his eyes. The way Kuzuha's crying, it's like he'd been heartbroken by the death of another. Kanae feels a slight crack in his heart for that "another". However, his jealousy dissipated as Kuzuha clung on to him. He was still a good friend of Kuzuha after all...

"What's wrong?" Kanae whispers gently, rubbing Kuzuha's back.

"mm, nothing..." Kuzuha mumbled. "You're the stupid one, crying over me..."

"It's not nothing if you're crying like this... and i'm not" It was not a unknown fact that Kuzuha never cried. So, when this raining night as the tears poured out, none of them believed that it was nothing. Giving him a 'don't mess with me' look, Kanae pouted.

"well, it's in the past now..." Kuzuha stared at a pressed white lily, smiling forlornly. He sighed, wiping his tears away.

Kanae was intrigued. This white lily that seemed to stay by Kuzuha's side constantly, was as white as Kuzuha's skin, but treated dearly as a living thing. However, in comparison, it looked as dead and sucked out of life. It was preserved in such a way, a perfect museum way, like a wax figure. It was pretty, no doubt, but it was somewhat eerie, and reeked of death.

"hey, what's the history behind that flower? Was it from a past love?"

Kuzuha had long stopped crying. At this request, shock and surprise was plastered across his face, he knew the question would have been asked one day or another, acting embarrassed, but the way Kanae looked so troubled and smug at his expression made him want to tell him that it was him. How could he possibly tell him thought? While reading a book in the Lagusa family library, Kuzuha read before that the past should not be revealed to those in the present. He knew that, but he could perhaps...

"it's okay...you don't have to tell me if you don't want to..." Feeling conflicted, Kuzuha flashed a small grin at Kanae,"maybe it's just my favourite flower, who knows? And about my past love, he's prettier than you" "I never struck you as someone who liked flowers and that's rude to tell that to your partner" Just like that, the rain stopped.

Kuzuha lied. It wasn't his favourite. It was Kanae's favourite flower, where they spent many of their days planting. He lied. The current Kanae appealed to him the same way the previous one did. They all held a special place in his heart.

Kanae knew Kuzuha's birthday was coming soon. Wanting to be the first to surprise him, the first to celebrate his birthday. The sun shone and the wind made his hair flutter in the wind. Visiting a flower shop, Kanae was greeted by a whole array of flowers. The owner sweetly welcomed him in. "What are you looking for today, dear customer?" "White lillies, if you could, in a bouquet." "For what occassion, may I ask?" "A birthday for my dear." "What a lucky dear you have. My husband doesn't even remember my birthday." She sighed despondently. "I'm sure he's got something planned for me, you're such a fine lady yourself." "Oh, flattering won't get you anywhere with this old body of mine, I'll add in an extra lily for you." She grins, delighted by the compliment. "Say, do you know meaning of white lilies?" The owner questions. "no?" "It means purity, commitment and rebirth, but I think it's more a rejuvenation of the soul, having a fresh start." "That's beautiful, white lilies." "Your dear chose well." Promising to visit again, he waved goodbye to the owner. Knocking on Kuzuha's door, he felt like he was confessing his love all over again.

"Kana-" he stopped abruptly and lowered his head.

"Kuzu-kun?" Kanae tilted his head at him.

The thing was that, Kanae looked so angelic at that moment. Holding a bouquet of white lilies, silvery white wings slowly unfurling from his back, ready to take flight, soaring away like a bird. They were on the seventh floor and the railing was dangerously close to Kanae. One step back, and...This was exactly how the priest wanted to go. Or went. The priest wanted to fly off with wings, which he did, with pearly white wings, as he always admired Kuzuha's flight skills. When Kuzuha purchased a coffin for the priest, he filled it with white lilies gathered from the church fields. That way the time when Kuzuha learned how to be slightly human, learning how to cry. This sight was just too nostalgic...too close

"Ku-kun?"

Before he could even continue, Kanae was pulled into a tight embrace. Kanae, still recovering from the shock, was coloured a light blush and awkwardly patted his fluffy white hair.

"...don't do that...be careful...you scared me..."

Dragging Kuzuha in from the doorway, letting him lean against himself, Kanae smiled. It wasn't usual that Kuzuha let his guard down around people, much less initiated hugs or physical touch in general.

"Trying to water the flowers with your tears?" Kanae giggled.

"Shut up" Kuzuha burrying his face into Kanae's chest, happy to hear his steady hearbeat.

"Besides, I don't need flowers. My thoughts of you are a flower, and I have only one, cos' you never left my mind."

"thanks, sasha"

Kuzuha spun around.

"Kuzuha?"

Perhaps it was the wind, perhaps it was a hallucination, perhaps his spirit is still weaved within the white lilies forever accompanying him on his immortal journey.