Our Shared Lilies and Memories

"Kanae?"

"Yeah?"

Alexandr Lagusa peeks out behind the church entrance. Yes, vampires can't go out into the sun. The last time he tried, he ended up with short hair. In order to avoid Kanae laughing at him and tying his hair into little buns. It made him embarrassed that time when one of the sisters came to ask for advice from the priest, and staring at him all while listening to Kanae. Needless to say, he was traumatised.

Today, however, was an exception. When Lagusa visited the church, he often slept with Kanae as "summer was hot and he was cold" so therefore Kanae clung onto him during summer. It made it more unbearable for him but he usually doesn't sleep so Lagusa just spends the night away reading books.

To his surprise, he fell asleep and awoke to no one, leaving him to believe that Kanae had left him, knowing of his deeds. Afterall, he was known as a wandering vampire, not as a lord. The thought of it just made him uncomfortable in a sense, feeling his eyes sting. Was it purely because of Kanae?

His silence definitely aroused the concern of Kanae as Kanae walked towards him, covering his forehead with his palm.

"Strange, you're not burning up..."

"Of course, I'm not, stupid. What are you doing out here?"

Planting flowers, he replied. The weeds that littered the back of the church grounds was now dug out, and replaced by seeds placed in the soil.

"Okay, but what kind of flowers? Why the sudden motivation?"

"White lilies, just thought that an interesting quote. Just remember today's date."

Today..huh.. 7th of July...

"Kanae, is today your birthday?"

"...what do you mean?" Kanae's smile seemed to hold a bit of sadness?, Lagusa can't decipher his expression well.

"Don't humans usually celebrate their birthday with something special? If it is your birthday, then happy birthday I guess."

Kanae's usually pale face was tinted with a slight blush and Kuzuha stifled a laugh.

They spent the day together, Kuzuha at the church entrance reading a book while Kanae works hard on the field. Looking back, those were some peaceful days. They had night picnics among the blooming lilies, it was there that Kanae gave him a nickname, Kuzuha. It was there that he understood the meaning of white lilies, rebirth and purity. He kind of understood the pure part, what with him being the god's messenger, but why rebirth?

Holding him in his arms was what he wished for in the flower garden, but not like this.

"Kanae...don't leave me this way... not like this..."

Crimson blood seeping through the pallor white fingers. Despite knowing that his blood will dry up on his fingernails, he couldn't care less. A unknown man had gone wild, trying to burn down the church as sisters spouted rumors about a white-haired figure wearing a sister wandering around the church. Kanae had tried to stop them, but alas... leaving not just two of the kind boys they had...

"Kuzuha..."

"So, vampires really are immortal, huh?"

The priest smiling faintly in his arms is slowly being dyed in a shade of crimson. He talks so as to reassure the immortal, but Kuzuha know it's hard for him to even breathe. His words only make it hurt more.

Though he taken just as much damage from the villagers as Kanae has, his wounds have already begun to heal; the vampire wonder why this fact irritates him.

"Please…don't talk anymore."

Alexandr's hoarse voice disappears into the empty void that is this world. The man tries to say something in response, but he can no longer even speak. His hands start to overflow with cold blood, and Kuzuha senses that this is the end.

"...na…e."

A piece of paper was placed into Kuzuha's hand. It read, find the spider lily.You know what to do. Was this Kanae last wish? For him to dig out a flower from his precious garden. Kuzuha couldn't help but smile, it was so like Kanae to make him do chores even if he was...

It wasn't as simple as it seemed. The roots of the spider lily was curled around the small box. Kanae had told him about the meaning of the spider lilies,"Red spider lilies mean death, last goodbyes and sad memories. However, red spider lilies are not to be confused with pink spider lily, which mean love, passion and feminine beauty." The spider lily was neither red or pink, and seemed to be a mix of the two with a tinge of white. "White spider lilies means positive nature, freshness and simply living life," kanae's voice popped helpfully in his mind. Biting his lip, he gingerly opened the small black box. Contained within was a sheet of paper from Kanae's diary, which he was told to keep his hands off.

[today kuzuha wished me a happy birthday. I've never felt so happy before. He asked me why I was planting flowers today. There was no interesting quote. The sleepy look, the care and the concern was just so genuine that made me think that" ah, if my love for him was a flower, i would have planted a whole garden for him. And that's what i did."]

Something wet was rolling down his face. No, it wasn't raining, he looked up to the sky to check. Was it his imagination as he spotted a cloud waving to him?

[Tears. You're crying, Kuzuha. ]

Feeling the cool breeze grave over his cheek, it was like the spirit of Kanae wiping away his tears.

[Don't cry so much...it's not like you...]

That just made Kuzuha cry more, the first time he ever experienced the pain of losing someone. The white lily remains in the box.

In a battle, Kanae and him were allies. Again, Kanae seemed to be obssessed with flowers, astonished at the vast knowledge of flowers Kuzuha had.

"I didn't know spider lilies had so many meanings. But I still think that none of the normal ones suit you. You're probably a mix of red, pink and white. I wonder about me..." Kanae pondered aloud.

"You're a white lily, no doubt about it." Kuzuha muttered under his breath.

"Why do you say so?" Curious eyes peered into his side view, like a cat.

Explaining the white lily to Kanae again made him tear up, having being explained to by Kanae once.

"Tears. Kuzuha, you're crying." Kanae looked at him with concern. Kuzuha, shocked out of his reverie, tried to scrub them away.

"Don't do that. You'll hurt your face." Kanae frowned, gently removing Kuzuha's hands from his face. What he did not expect, however, was for Kuzuha to clutch his hand to his cheek.

"He's alive...warm..." Kuzuha murmured under his breath.

Being trained to listen out for enemies, Kanae's sense of hearing was strong, leaving little that escapes his ears. He understood that Kuzuha feared for his life in the battle, but something about the way he said it felt like there was some hidden meaning. Kanae understood that Kuzuha wouldn't be revealing anything, not in this lifetime. Kanae felt the sudden instinct to hug Kuzuha, it was like providing comfort to someone who has lost someone along the way. Who was this someone? Did Kanae remind him of "him"?

Pulling Kuzuha in his embrace made him feel a mix of emotions, wrapping him with a scarf, bringing tears into his eyes. The way Kuzuha cried, his scent, his expression, his feelings, just made it so nostalgic. It felt just like...home. The way Kuzuha cared for him when he was exhausted from a battle, the way Kuzuha chided him lightly while bandaging his injuries, the way Kuzuha enjoyed his food even with the little supplies left, it was almost like living with a family.

Except it was not.

Kuzuha knew it would end this way. The classic cliche scene, Kanae lying in his arms, on the brink of death, and Kuzuha begging whichever god the priest worshipped to let him live. But even vampires cannot save humans who are mortal. The white lily is now tucked into the scarf.

As the world modernised, Kuzuha realised the world had a tad bit of mercy.

One day, a little boy passed him a paper crane, whispering to Kuzuha,"Mister, you might need this." This happened right after Kuzuha tried dating a girl, who was only about his looks. He still keeps the white lily and the paper crane in a box.

Another day, he met a elementary school boy where they were both reaching for the same game. After a couple of "Oh you can have it" and "No, no, it's alright, you have it", Kuzuha ended up with a free game from a student. When he offered to pay for it, the school boy just grinned at him, "I think you might need it, Mister." The flower ends up tucked in the game case.

A few years later, he met a middle aged man sitting, writing a book. That was the secluded park bench that nobody sat on except for him. Listening to the writer's life story was interesting, leaving them to meet when the full moon was shining bright in the sky, while they shared a bench, laughing about life's little things. The flower ends up tucked between the handwritten manuscript that couldn't make it to the publisher before it was too late.

When Kuzuha entered Nijisanji, he never would have thought to see those pair of ash blue eyes, the silvery gray hair, tied it a small ponytail. When they were introduced as partners to a unit, ChroNoiR, Kuzuha almost cried. It seemed like life had enough of its games and decided to not interfere. When they played fps games, it reminded Kuzuha of the times they plotted to take down monsters and enemies. When they conducted zatsudan, it reminded Kuzuha of the same writer which he had laughed with under the moon. When they had multiplayer vs games, it reminded Kuzuha of the elementary school boy playing with him. When they had offline streams and Kanae made food for him, Kuzuha was reminded of the dear priest, who had started it all.

The Kanae now teasing him for his love, was absolutely alive, and his dear boyfriend, who laughed like little bells ringing, was here with him. Kanae teased him for his sappy look on his face, but Kuzuha only smiled, happy to be once again reunited with his dearest.