Omnitrix In MCU

After a long time had a story to read with some realistic action like thinking about the SHIELD AND HYDRA thing and going slow and story does not seem to run fast to not catch . Love the work man , keep the update on rollllll[img=recommend]

giving my self a 5 star it's my first novel Fanfic so new to these plz comment always in each chapter for me to know how my work is and if guys have any ideas i took these genra because there really aren't that many Fanfic on Omnitrix don't know why though support and comment

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AI slop... After you realize that this is just an AI novel with GPT writing the dialogue it just become unreadable. Is just a bunch of unrealistic scenarios with unrealistic reaction to fill the word count 🤷🏻‍♂️

Could have been great. It's concept is okay but lacks any commons sense, mc casually says that he created an A.I and there is no response from parents, goes cliche entertainment industry route, and do not use Omnitrix efficiently.

Great Story idea, the development direction is good but the execution was poor, you are trying to rush things way too fast, the time it would take for an app to become popular, is generally much longer than three days without constant advertising, it would probably take a year or two. That time could be then dedicated towards other things like character development, or maybe his struggles before he got money, how, and what he is learning, perhaps everyday life, also I feel like reports wouldn’t just show up a some kids door without a good reason. 1 they know nothing about him, 2 even if they did know everything about him, they would need to apply to thier company for them to do interviews. Now on to the good stuff: the protagonist, although he doesn’t feel quite human, he has a more standard human morality (don’t you guys go bullshitting in the comments oh I wouldn’t steal, trust me most people if they had those powers would use them to benefit themselves, although they wouldn’t outright start doing whatever they would want, they would at least start with some small but negligible crimes) as I was saying although the protagonist doesn’t quite feel human he has what I would consider a normal moral compass not some hero or villian complex, with a complete hard on for Tony Stark (a little Tony glazing but you know in most marvels stories it is impossible for authors not to glaze Tony, that is just how marvel in general is). So Overall Story is great idea, awful pacing, below average execution. 4/10

Ignoring the random ROB stuff (I hate that kind of plot with a passion) the story starts off strong and with great ideas. But the development of the story is just so insanely fast paced and the plot started to become nonsensical. Like one second the dude builds windows 11 futuristic form alongside baymax (his self created ai with emotions), the next second dude published comics like death note and naruto and was swarmed by reporters at his house only for him to throw his slipper at one and get harassed on the tv. It had good potential, bad execution.

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Grammar terrible at the beginning, in later chapters it’s used with ai and becomes decent, but still meh. Common sense has no meaning in the story. Character dialogues between each other are very basic and not good until the later chapters where ai is used. Author has no idea how to use 2 different ways of speaking and thinking, instead uses quotations for both. Character description is barely there, literal bare bones. Story has 0 character development for mcs family, they’re just there, not good. World background is meh, no descriptions for anything besides the fact it’s mcu world. This idea is cool but there’s a lot of things that just don’t make sense, it’s like a middle schooler is writing a cool instant power up/tech story for fun.

Fic's great Bro, not gonna lie. Sure it's still in its "calm before the storm" arc, so the happenings are understandably a little uneventful with not much alien action, but still, it was able to grab my interest. There were also some plot holes here and there and a few errors in grammars which are hardly noticeable, so you might want to focus on that. Overall, you've got somethin' big going on here man, so don't stop updating.

Bro, it's fine to use AI, but if you're going to copy and paste, do it properly. The story is good, but please remove the titles between acts in the chapters; it's a bit annoying. Other than that, 10/10.

Started pretty decent and as an avid Ben 10 fan I was kinda looking forward to it, in less than 10 chapters it became another generic mc with an ai because why not.

idea is great no doubt!!! but execution is too painful to watch, like bro just one day wakes up and every thing goes on throttle, day one gets Omnitrix day 2 builds AI and comics, day 3 become world famous....... I mean it's 2004 when there's no social platform since MC build one himself, he didn't promote anything and everyone in world knows about his comics, like how?? plus just working on single project takes dozens of days for human and he built SYSTEM, AI AND A FREAKING OS in a single day???? 😅😅 I mean author you had like 3-4 year cushion before whole ironman thing, so you could have easily span this over next few years..... and then the hero thing I mean Gwen father is police officer he knows his daughters friend has bike that glow and that's the only one in newyork but when he spots another bike at crime scene he or anyone else connects dot like the world has gone dumbdumb 🤨

Thi could have been better I'm still not caught up but I don't think i will. it started great but than there is a bunch of shit happening. first thing first bro makes an ai casually mention it and his parents are ok and it's never developed but that actually something I can somehow even look past. the problem is when the secretary gets introduced that whole chapter is super made by ai it looks like bro became a Chinese author from the description and he continuously repeat himself and like the chapter after we see this 24+ years old woman blushing because a scrawny 14 years old boy complimented her.............. bullshit romance that's complety unrealistic and it's sick as fuck after all the mc is the same age as his previous life and so it's mentally and physical ficking pedophilic but some people would not mind cause the older one is a woman and even for me who's a man that's disgusting as fuck. For some this might be small things but I ain't staying when an author doesn't even put the effort to try come up with the dialogues by himself and uses AI, I would have rather read some awkward interaction where you see the author is inexperienced than totally AI made one with all the "measured and purposefull" adjectives for the jade beauty type description where a kid looks intellectual and charming when he's wearing fucking clothes like everybody fucking else. Overall I think my review score is very generous. By the I really like the first few chapters if the author could have stayed on that track it would have been better I would still try read some more to see if it gets at least back on that track. so author pls if you ever read this consider rewriting those chapters completely

Reveal spoiler

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Hope writer will not drop this novel....