He Finally Understood

Qiu Ling ran out of the door and toward where he felt his beloved's presence. He finally saw Jing Yi at the edge of a bamboo grove. The sleeves of his white robe were fluttering in the wind and his black hair swaying in the breeze behind his back. With the desolate air about him, he looked surprisingly much like Jing He.

Qiu Ling accelerated his steps and just like Jinde had said he wrapped Jing Yi into his arms. Ah, it seemed he had forgotten to call out to him before! Well, it should still be effective to do it now.

"Jing He." Qiu Ling whispered his name and tightened his grab around him.

Jing Yi involuntarily reached up and touched those familiar arms. This way of hugging him … He remembered that Tian had done it regularly. Sneaking up on him from behind and then embracing him without warning, it was a thing he seemed to like doing.

And his past self had loved it because it made it so easy to fall against his chest. If somebody saw, he could still pretend to have been too surprised to react. But if nobody was there … then he could snuggle up against his lover's broad chest and be his for a while. Only his person.

With his heart beating wildly, Jing Yi leaned back against Qiu Ling's chest and just like in his memories, his lover leaned forward, his hair tickling his shoulder and his lips brushing his cheek.

"Don't worry, my love. I'm here. Whatever it is I'll stay with you. I'll help you."

Qiu Ling's breath tickled his skin, making Jing Yi shudder. In response, those arms tightened once more.

"Are you cold? Do you want to go back inside?"

Almost the same words as back then …

Jing Yi held onto those hands, his head spinning. He felt like he understood but at the same time, he was still confused. If he was Jing He, the Jing He that Qiu Ling had loved so much, then why had Qiu Ling never said anything? But if he was, it would at least explain how Qiu Ling had found him and fallen in love with him out of all people even though he had been so young back then.

And now that he thought about it, everything else made sense too, didn't it? The similarities that he had explained away just by him liking the same type of man before, the name he shared with Qiu Ling's previous lover, the strong feelings he had developed for Qiu Ling in such a short time.

He didn't know what had happened to that trial he had talked about with his lover on that last night or how Jing He had died in the end but it indeed explained his feelings, didn't it? Back in his life as Jing He, he had engraved his soul to make sure that Tian … no, that Qiu Ling would be the only man he ever was with. Then, when he was reincarnated as Zhong Jing Yi in his current life, this engraving first made him cautious about being in proximity to a man but later made him feel especially close to Qiu Ling. His own feelings for this man that slowly developed were heightened by that engraving and that was also why he loathed to part with him even when he thought that there was Tian waiting.

Ah, Heaven alone knew how much it had hurt. He had been confused and felt like he couldn't be with Qiu Ling. For a while, he had even thought that he was only in love with Tian because Jing He's feelings for his lover had been so strong. Most likely, they had been even stronger than his own feelings for Qiu Ling.

But that was in the past now. He finally understood. Qiu Ling … He was the only man he loved. In this life, in his past life, maybe even in his future lives.

He understood and it was time to show his lover to make up for the time he had kept him waiting.

Jing Yi turned around in Qiu Ling's arms and looked up at him, his gaze much calmer than it had been for the last few weeks. Qiu Ling cautiously returned this gaze. He couldn't help but feel apprehensive. It couldn't be that his beloved would completely break with him now, could it?

Contrary to his expectations, Jing Yi reached up and gently cupped his cheeks. He continued to look at him as if he couldn't get enough of seeing this face that he was already so familiar with.

Qiu Ling didn't know what to do. Say something? Hug him some more? Just wait?

Just when he thought that he couldn't take it any longer, Jing Yi finally moved. His eyelids lowered and he tiptoed, his lips nearing his lover's. Qiu Ling's heart jumped. Was he seeing things? His beloved … wanted to kiss him? And he didn't look sad at all!

Qiu Ling's hands in Jing Yi's back trembled a little but he still leaned down, shortening the distance between them. Their lips met and whatever confusion had still been in their minds vanished. The breeze ruffled their hair and the whooshing of the bamboo enveloped them just like the scent of the earth.

Jing Yi's eyes closed completely and whatever was around them seemed to disappear until only he and his lover remained. This moment, maybe it would be engraved into his soul just as much as what he had cut into it with that dagger. Even if it couldn't remain with him for all his lives, it would at least stay with him for this life as an unforgettable memory.

"Qiu Ling." He whispered his lover's name and his lips curved into a small smile before returning for another kiss.

Qiu Ling pulled him closer. If he could, he would have picked him up and carried him home but he felt like it would be too early. He didn't know why this was happening but anyway, Jing Yi had only decided now that he wanted to be with him. Marrying him right now … seemed a little hasty?