A Morbid Curiosity

"Excuse me, dear lady, but who the f*** are you?"

Really? What kind of harda*** should this bi*** be to just waltz into a protected temple and just....wow!

"How crass. Show some respect to your ancestor brat."

"I would if I could, but I can't so I won't" I admit, that reply wasn't good enough.

"I am Tanako Uzumaki, the twelfth sealing-mistress of Uzushiogakure. I created the Shinigami-mask." Her proud statement made me reconsider my choices.

"Really? girl, you need to attend a few art classes if your greatest work looks like something a blobfish shat out after taco-bell night."

"What?"

"I said: Great work. It is a masterpiece. How in Oblivion are you still alive?"

"Thank you. I am not alive, by the way."

"Is this all happening inside my head then?"

"Of course it's all happening inside your head, but why should that mean it is not real?"

"AHA! Fool! I know who you are, you filthy potterhead! Reveal yourself before I shout you to death!"

"Who are you calling a pot-head? I am Tanako Uzumaki! I have created the very foundation for space-time and other mystical fuinjutsu. How dare you call me a pot-head!"

"Then how did you know the correct reply to my question?"

"....I just told you that. I am a figment of your imagination."

"You are not! I do not have a brain like normal humans! It does not create the chemicals required for hallucinations and dreams. Now tell me who you are or there will be consequences." I was angry. Who was this new person who felt that it was a good idea to give me a scare? I am a Dragon!

"I don't get it. What are you saying? You don't have a brain?"

"Stop trying to change the topic!"

"I am the spirit and memory of Tanako Uzumaki! There is nothing left to say!"

"You are a gaaf?"

"What's a gaaf?"

"A ghost. So you are a ghost"

She mumble something about disrespectful brats and how things have changed a lot.

"Yes. In plain words."

"Oh, goodbye! Gaaf Gron Sil."

The Shout bound her in chains of magic and Thu'um. The look on her face gave me a shiver of pleasure that I relished.

"You see, Minato was a good teacher. But, he was no sealing master. Say goodbye to the world, Tanako." As I drained her memories and soul, tasty as always, I was hit with all of the things she accomplished in her life. Most of the seals she had created were already simplified today, but what I had actually wanted was her understanding of the Sealing Arts. That would allow me to create seals and with the knowledge she has of writing seals that were more than just sealing scrolls and a few knick-knacks. The Uzumaki Sealing Techniques were feared by everyone because very few things can restrain a Tailed Beast let alone seal it into another person. If the Uzumaki were selfish with their abilities and didn't just give away knowledge, they would have created an empire easily.

Jinchuriki were the shinobi form of nukes. A single one can decimate entire armies with the power within them.

Konoha could have done the same after capturing all the Tailed Beasts instead of sellig them to the highest bidder.Hashirama "Ninja-Gandhi" Senju felt that giving weapons to your enemies will bring peace.

That was in the past. I teleported back home and began meditating to recover my strength and assimilate the knowledge I gained.

The next day...

"Good morning, class. We have a new student joining today. Welcome him. Go on, introduce yourself Ryu-kun." Iruka said with a smile as I stood there with the most impassive face I could manage, which was very impassive, by the way.

"Hello. I'm Ryu, Ryu Uzumaki. I'm 12."

As I was about to walk away, Iruka pulled me back by my collar and looked at me with a smaile once again.

"You could tell them about your likes, dislikes, ambitions, dreams....something"

I rolled my eyes.

"Another Uzumaki?"

"...tch, troublesome"

"He's so cute!"

"Oh my god, he looks like a doll!"

That's because I technically am a doll, in the loosest sense of that word.

God, these inbred sandwiches are so tactless!

"Let's see...I like the gurgling sound babies make."

'When they are drowning.' I silently thought in my head.

That got a few 'aaawww's

"I dislike people that act like fools, have blonde hair, blue eyes and obsess over ramen."

Every head in the room turned to the back and looked at Naruto, who was sitting next to Sakura and Sasuke.

I felt some amusement from around my periphery.

"YOU BAKA! What do you mean you dislike me-ttebayo?"

Naruto stood on the bench, pointing an accusatory finger at me and shouted.

"I don't even know you." When in doubt, pretend to be Thanos.

He deflated and looked confused for a moment before grumbling and sitting back down when Iruka glared at him.

"I don't have any particular dream or ambition."

".....great! You can sit wherever you find a place, Ryu-kun." Iruka said, glad that my introduction was over.

I went and sat next to some random kid in the back. I noticed Naruto simmering in the row next to mine while Hinata on the other side of Naruto's row looked concerned and slightly bothered by the turn of events. The kid I sat next to pulled down his glasses as he scooted to the side.

I saw Kiba, who was sitting behind Naruto, flash a smile at me and wink.

What the...?

Anyways, I sat down.

"Ryu-kun, you will have to catch up to your classmates when it comes to Theory, so work hard if you want to graduate with this class. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." I nodded. Not that there was any need to "catch-up" to these brats. I could probably take the Chunin Examination and pass right now.

"He won't be able to study and then I won't be the deadlast anymore! Then I'll be Hokage and everyon-"

THWACK!

"Shut up, Naruto-baka!" Sakura hit Naruto on the head with a scroll.

Naruto looked like a kicked puppy and glared at me.

As a Dragon, we have to follow many social niceties. A dovah has the innate urge to hold tinvaak. We love arguments and debate. It made us perfect rulers, in my opinion.

"So you are the deadlast as well. Pity. I thought I could give you the beating of your life and be considered a competent ninja. All beating you up would achieve is make me seem like a bully."

"YOU! I challenge you to a duel. I am going to be Hokage Dattebayo! And then you'll see-"

THWACK!

Sakura's got a nasty temper.

I wondered absently if her wrist got a lot of workout from jacking off Sasuke.

"Sit down, Naruto. Stop disturbing the class." Iruka added in.

Sigh. This is going to be one long year.

A/N: 1162 words not including Author's note.

Hey guys! This is Jay's boyfriend (yeah, he's gay. Big surprise!) and I'm posting this on his behalf.

He has currently locked himself in the room with the cat. He refuses to come out and left the laptop outside. He apparently coughed once and got scared and didn't wanna spread the disease he has (So Dramatic, yeah?). So enjoy, I guess.