Monologue 1

Seo-Yeon

Looking back at when it first started; I still didn't see it coming. Yes, I had lost my memory but there was no one for me to confide to when I got them back. So what choice did I have but to do things alone behind their back?? As for Seon-Ho...well I was sure at the time I'm sure he just regarded me as his friend's little sister and nothing more. How was I supposed to foretell what was to happen? He showed absolutely no signs at all.

So I went ahead and started looking for work outside of the village to keep my mind sane until my brother could come for me. And I would try to find a way to sneak out of the house while the Nam's were away at work which was most of the time anyways. And I decided to look for some people that we grew up with to help me; I was determined to get myself an education finally...as well as finally pick up my father's sword and start learning how to defend myself now that I was finally rid of my epilepsy. I just sighed as I crawled into a ball in my bed...this was going to be a long hard journey. But I saw Seon-Ho's internal struggle...and I couldn't leave his side either, at least not until Hwi came for me. I don't know how I was going to manage everything but I had to do it for all of our sakes.

Years went by and I had achieved everything I set out to do whilst maintaining my innocent image at the Nam's. And my brother was still carrying out his mission but...something had changed within the Nam's residence. Seon-Ho...was starting to put himself in my path wherever I went after distancing himself from me in the beginning. He started being a lot nicer to me than usual, sending me gifts her and there; his harsh face was beginning to soften a little. Was he...grooming himself a lot more? When he was just lounging around at the mansion all day instead of going out? He wasn't even going out a lot like usual.

He had also began watching me in the home more, even at meal times and I swear I could feel his presence outside of my room, although I acted oblivious. I don't think he was watching me on his father's behalf as I always covered my tracks well so there was no reason to suspect me about anything...and I didn't get the sense it was out of brotherly affection. Call me crazy but...was there a chance he was doing it for himself? I was already more heartbroken than I thought I would be after finding out about his crush on Hui-Jee so now what was he up to? He went drinking a lot in gibing's, he could have his pick of anyone there or anywhere else. Since when was I a woman to him?

Seon-Ho

Looking back at it all: I probably should have seen it coming, even if I didn't expect it myself. Yes; she had changed almost completely after her memory loss in all ways possible, and yes she provide me with something I had lost the moment my father snatched me away from my mother and brought me into his miserable world; peace...and even love. But of course with everything I was dealing with at the time I had just assumed my brother love for her had doubled, maybe in tripled when I had no choice but to move her in with me...and she was everywhere in the damned mansion. Her laughter and scent lingered everywhere, she spread positive energy everywhere she went and her smile...it was so infectious that even I couldn't help but fall victim to it no matter how hard I tried to resist.

I did definitely try to keep my distance, not just out of fear of what my father would do to her if I became closer to her in the house but...I couldn't deny it; she spent years in my home but it was like she changed every day, and those changes kept catching me off guard. Truthfully I didn't know how to react or respond to her...but I really didn't want to be a stranger to her either so I just sat back and watched her grow and blossom into the women she had tried so hard previously not to become. But at some point; it got hard to watch. I remember one time I made my way to my room after a long day at the palace, ready to go straight to sleep but I had caught her in the corner of my eye crossing the courtyard to her room fro having a bath and I couldn't help but to stop in my tracks, just the sight of her with her hair out wet she looked like a completely different person. I mean...I guess she was aways pretty in natural way although she didn't do herself up before her memory loss. But looking at her now, the girl of barely 16 who I had known since she was 5 only needed minimal changes even without makeup to look like a fully grown woman, her beauty even surpassing that of Hui-Jee's. I remember feeling startled at the sight but I couldn't stop watching her at the same time and my heart...my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was ready to burst out of my chest and follow her wherever she went. In fact I was so startled I could help but to run to my room and even take a shower myself just to calm myself down...with her scent and tea lingering in my room; just making things worse.

It didn't take long but I couldn't fight the growing attraction for long. Yes it took a few years for things to start but I simply had too much going on at the time. But I'm sure she had no idea that I had started paying attention to her a little more...and maybe myself as well. But...only because she was putting in effort himself so why not do my part as well. I mean...I couldn't possibly expect her to carry all the weight of brining warmth into a home that wasn't even hers right? And she really did keep changing everyday, I witnessed a side to her that I never knew she possessed; I knew she was into her books but I guess I didn't know how seriously she would take it. She was really very intelligent and even started putting her smarts to use in the home when even the servants got bullied by my father for no reason. I had never seen the issue of women possessing an education so I couldn't help but to be captivated by the sparkle she got in her eyes every time she helped and defended anyone everywhere she went, from the rich to the poor. That was another valuable thing about her, everyone was equal in her eyes; in terms of gender, age, even birthright. Even before...she used to look at me like I was a prince in her eyes despite being 1/4 noble and illegitimate.

I really couldn't help myself; the more suffocating my life became inside and outside the palace and mansion the more I wanted to keep her close to me. I soon had her attend to me a lot more than just serving tea in the evenings.