Chapter 29: Kim Chun-Ae

All I had on my mind since I was beaten that night was revenge...I know that it was her that kept the Young Master from saving me. My cousin was completely delusional in her fancies about him; the truth was she was completely deranged in her noble world that was so far from commoners. She had a bad experience with one that no-one barely spoke about so I was unaware of the details...and she saw her handsome neighbour as her saviour since he also wasn't exactly...ecstatic about his mother's heritage, but the man he had become certainly showed signs of him becoming a great leader one day that would eradicate...those kinds of people. Even though I had come from...a low background myself I was born a noblewoman just like Da-In. I hate to admit it but she was right; if the commoner label no longer existed...then maybe noble-people like me would be no longer be torn from our social rights...

That was until she came along. Imagine my utter shock when I learnt that this nobleman was run-in around with people who had a smilier background to me? Siblings? Even though our fates were similar...he was mine, my only hope to a better future...and maybe even love. I served him, I was here in his home for him when he was ready to acknowledge that we were the same...who the hell were those other lowly people to make any sort of claim on him? He was better than them, he didn't need them at all. But I couldn't forget that night...he came bursting through the door with actual tears streaming down his face as he had that retard in his arms after she passed out from another one of her epileptic fits. That was the first time he ever stood up to his father who wanted to dispose of her as he should the minute he recognised her. She was an ugly short thing in rags too big for her with blood dripping down the side of her face but he was crying over her and did not dare leave her side until she regained consciousness. He didn't even eat or sleep. Looking back at that memory always tore my heart out: would he do the same to me if I was in her position?

I hate to admit it, but I was consumed with jealousy since I saw his reaction to her...change. My god, if only my delusional cousin witnessed what I was forced to everyday...I'd been through some hard times but when I saw his reaction to her, it almost broke me. I noticed her giving him tea as usual, it wound me up so much I wanted to do something like trip her up. But when I saw his face, his body language and his eyes...his intense eyes that have been following every move she made in the mansion weather it was eating, reading, sewing...he had the look most customers at the gibang got when they had their kisengs, but for the young master...it wasn't dying out. The intense, craving, eager fascination and...devotion he had for her was a lot more than I could handle.

So for the first time since my time here...I began to lash out. I started messing with her food and drink, putting all sorts of vile things in them...but I didn't get any reaction at all. She was perfectly fine and didn't complain about anything at all. I then tried to look for her clothes so I could hide pins in them to something...but she was doing her own chores from the first day she arrived! I tried butting hellebore in her water so she would either gate hives on her face...or poisoned. But she was perfectly fine...I tried every trick I learnt at the gibang...but nothing worked on her at all. My anger and jealousy fired up once she started spending time with him... and he was starting to actually watch her! Whenever he was free he would always peek into her room....especially at night. At first I thought that his... manly inclinations were finally starting to kick in ever since he gave up on that other kiseng so I tired to do everything I could, such as dress up more that I could barely get away with and leaving my doors open and waited for the master to look upon me, even in my most intimate moments...but he didn't. When she was in the kitchen he would watch her cook herself with fascination, when she bathed he would watch her with desire in his eyes...when she slept he actually walked into her room and would...caress her...like men would do to kisengs...apart from me. Not even my own mother had the strength to caress me...not like the young master would do to her...So I left a few bloody massacred rats on her bed...only to be caught out by the young master who almost tortured me to death without looking at my face even once.