abandonment

for a few days according to me has been passed.

nothing changes for me. I still cry whenever I am hungry or needed someone to change my diapers.

the thing is that I am feeling that I am doing all of these and have no control over these actions. due to that, I should feel some shame or something like that, but I can't, all I can fell are either warm or cold.

I think it is because I am a baby and my soul is quite powerful actually mutated and powerful should be the term. so due to that, I am perceiving people's emotions.

so maybe warm is care and love and coldness is disgust and anger.

but for what reason would someone be disgusted by a baby.

in reality, I don't care as long as I live. but I am bored and can't do anything to change it.

every day my vision is getting somewhat clear not by that much but yes maybe 0.9 percent every 2 or 3 days maybe, I can't perceive time at the moment.

now how I know this change, I don't know how can I even detect such a minimal change but maybe god not only bosted my body but my senses too.

I can hear the sound somewhat which is like gibberish. but it is better than hearing a high pitched beep like sound at birth.

this is my regular routine, wake, cry for food after food destroys diapers, then sleep, then again waking up and the same process continues.

Truly parents go through hell. I mean I am baby and I am doing all of these things and parents are the ones who received the other end of the things.

so like always I got to sleep today too.

but when I woke up I was shaking. I can feel that I was in some closed space and the said space was moving.

maybe I am moving to my house from the hospital.

and I slept again with a charming smile 😊 on my face.

I don't know how much time has been passed but I was shivering in the cold and my whole body was wet like I was in the rain or maybe still I am.

'what happens. why I am wet in cold water like there is been some kind of rain.'

'and why all of a sudden I am feeling pain again. the wait is my body heating up. what the hell is happening to me.'

at one moment I was cold and at one moment I was heating up.

It was like I have a fever.

' where is my mother' i was thinking and cried out.

no one comes.

I cried for a long time and then I don't know who lift me up.

but said someone was not my mother that much I can tell I know her aura. and she was not my mother.

'who is she' i thought.

then it struck me. that maybe my mother has abandoned me.

this thought brings out various emotions like sadness, anger, hatred, and many more.

why would she abandon me?

I am just a little innocent child, why would she abandon her own flesh and bones. I was there in her womb for 9 months and she abandoned me just like that.

there were quite the scenarios going through my head.

but all I can think was my mother's treatment toward me and it earned her my hatred.

and then it happens.

in my sight now there were no randomized colors. no now it was a spectrum of some kind with more bright colors.

these colors were dancing in front of me.

I know what happens all this distress activates the magnetos x gene in me.

it is a proven fact that even newly born child can awaken the x gene( franklin Richard).

so I have awakened my x gene and I can see the electromagnetic spectrum.

then I made a promise in my mind that was, ok mother or father whoever it was belive me timer has started.

and with that, I again give myself to the seduction of sleep.